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is love marriage acceptance

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Cleansing the society !

Vanakkam Shri Nara ji,

Your following reply is thought provoking and now i feel your tone of speech is less of a revolutionary nature and seems to be in line with the spirit of cleansing the society .

Divisive Ideology - is not something new to us as we have been victims of this technique right from the day , the british ruled us !
But now the list of fragments created out of caste, creed religion have become endless.

Ok now let us configure the root cause of the problem , rather than temporarily treat the symptoms !

Why did people ever confine themselves to groups -- mainly to protect their cult practices , to be in a safe comfort zone , to stay within controlled fences to protect their interests may be an answer . Else it could be the induced effect / inspiration derived from the great leaders who paved the way for the cult !

Agreeing to your statement that the formation of groups was wrong , in principle and considering it as a wrath of history ,

" Why did the Indian Government recognise and ratify their approval against these groups in the first place ? and bring about a differential in the name of reservation ? " This has added salt to the wound !

The eradication of gothra could be listed way down in the agenda of economic reforms , the prioritized one's ranking higher up the order to be divisions based on caste , of religion !

I don't want to boast on having any authority to qualify on the advantages of the gothra system but I don't find it warranted at this point of time as it could end up creating heart burns amongst the elders in the family !

And again , relating to your phrase of " peeling of the masks " , specifically related to this thread , there are yet again 100 masks to be peeled off , waiting in the queue , which I choose to discuss in the years to come !

( i particularly agree to your statement that a few decent and good people like me are alive and ready to burn the midnight oil , for a long debate ! )


Alright awaiting your response in a flash !

Namaskarams !


Greetings!
........
I agree! But don't you think energetic debate makes life interesting and enjoyable? Speaking for just myself, I seem to be having the time of my life when discussing issues such as this. I try not to get personal with what I am saying. I think people, in the most part, are decent and good. IMHO, it is these customs, traditions, and religion that mask the innate goodness of people. If I can help at least a few people peel off these masks I think the time is well spent.

Thank you and cheers!
 
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" Why did the Indian Government recognise and ratify their approval against these groups in the first place ? and bring about a differential in the name of reservation ? " This has added salt to the wound !

Our Govt is not a dictator govt to be blamed. Its the weighted average voice of the people. And these decisions are the collective needs and wants of the majority hindu people in India, which you and I have no right to blame or whine.

Nara is right in his view, i feel so.
 
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Love marrages

There is no problem currently much for the people getting into
love marriage . Living also for them very easy . But
when their children refuse to love marriage and ask for
arranged marriage , the problem may be there . That too
if they are of higher middle class then getting them married
become very tough . The other side shall ask for the origin of the
family for which there may be silent tears from the hearts .

The brahmins may be prepared to leave their caste feeling
but no other community is prepared to leave their community
status since they have reservations .
 
Can i get a clear picture.....on this aspect of LOVE MARRIAGE??????

Whether Love marriage is acceptable in TB community? or not ?
If acceptable... why all such formalities like traditions, aacharams, and customs....

If not, possible reasons please.....
Eager to know.....on this...

swami,

i love this portion of your post ' If acceptable... why all such formalities like traditions, aacharams, and customs....' i have been asking the same thing all over for years and years !!

i think, it is a personal matter in a family to accept love marriage.

i understand 'love marriage' means the parents and community is out of the process of selecting the bride or the groom.

then comes the next level.. re caste, status, language, religion, money etc etc.. ie the details.

modern day parents, if the love-match is acceptable, appear to take over and do the best of the remnants of what they think is 'tradition'.

if that works for them, so be it.

there need not be a community standard.

as far as i am concerned, marriage is between two individuals. it is best they seek their own partner. go to the registrar's office or temple and do the formality.

if need be, organize a reception.

the parents, i think, should give what money they can afford, so that the young couple can set up household or buy an house.

keep it simple and straightforward, i say.

don't enrich the mandapam owners and their chamchas :)
 
As long as the couple to get married have total understanding,compatibility in their views,common goal between them and above all independent financial support system,there is nothing wrong in entering into wedlock irrespective of cast considerations.After all what is important in a marriage between the wedded couple is the happiness whether they belong to the same caste or not.
S.Sridharan
 
I want to share a sad not so uncommon story about this. In a city near where I live, just last weekend, there was a murder-suicide of 3 children and their mother. These stories are not that uncommon in the immigrant (Islamic, Sikh, Hindu) community where I live. It was a result of the hard line stance of traditional parents regarding traditional arranged marriages. "If you follow through with this love marriage thing, you are no longer welcome within our family."

So this poor mother, already burdened with 3 children, gets no support from family, in fact gets hatred, is so stressed out that she takes her own life, as well as the three kids.

Don't get me wrong. I, too, like tradition. but to what end? Sometimes our kids make choices we disagree with. But that should never stop a parent's love and support. So if a love marriage is proposed, please just support it. You did your best. The child has made that choice, and deserves your continued love.

Aum Namasivaya
 
Dear Sri Eastern Mind Ji,

You hit the issue square on it's head. I always hold the view that any religion / tradition is there to serve the human kind, not the other way around.

No philosophy/religion/sampradhayam/tradition is greater than a human need and a human's right to have loving support to live.

It is gut wrenching to hear the stories that you have just told. Unfortunately, where I live in the US, such stories among the demographies you describe also happen.

Regards,
KRS
I want to share a sad not so uncommon story about this. In a city near where I live, just last weekend, there was a murder-suicide of 3 children and their mother. These stories are not that uncommon in the immigrant (Islamic, Sikh, Hindu) community where I live. It was a result of the hard line stance of traditional parents regarding traditional arranged marriages. "If you follow through with this love marriage thing, you are no longer welcome within our family."

So this poor mother, already burdened with 3 children, gets no support from family, in fact gets hatred, is so stressed out that she takes her own life, as well as the three kids.

Don't get me wrong. I, too, like tradition. but to what end? Sometimes our kids make choices we disagree with. But that should never stop a parent's love and support. So if a love marriage is proposed, please just support it. You did your best. The child has made that choice, and deserves your continued love.

Aum Namasivaya
 
Is love marriage acceptance

First let me answer the query in the subject with the empathetic Yes . Our Social traditions accept Love marriages. Though smrithis like Manusmrithi and Yagnavalkya smrithi put approval with conditions for Anuloma and Prathiloma marriages, the Historical records show the Social Traditions have accepted eight types of marriages among the Hindu Society. They are classified as 1. Brahma, 2. Daiva, 3. Arsha, 4. Prajapathya, 5.Gandharva (Love), 6. Asura, 7. Rakshsa and 8. Paishacha Marriages. The primary purpose of sanctifying these marriages seem to give respectability to the progeny out of the union.

Srimath Mahabharatha contains various types of inter varna and caste unions and marriages.

This is a serious subject on which many research materials both Religious and Social aspects are available.

Regards,
Brahmanyan..
 
love marriages

First let me answer the query in the subject with the empathetic Yes . Our Social traditions accept Love marriages. Though smrithis like Manusmrithi and Yagnavalkya smrithi put approval with conditions for Anuloma and Prathiloma marriages, the Historical records show the Social Traditions have accepted eight types of marriages among the Hindu Society. They are classified as 1. Brahma, 2. Daiva, 3. Arsha, 4. Prajapathya, 5.Gandharva (Love), 6. Asura, 7. Rakshsa and 8. Paishacha Marriages. The primary purpose of sanctifying these marriages seem to give respectability to the progeny out of the union.

Srimath Mahabharatha contains various types of inter varna and caste unions and marriages.

This is a serious subject on which many research materials both Religious and Social aspects are available.

Regards,
Brahmanyan..
Who said there is no love in arranged marriages. It would be better to frame the question differently. That apart, when you decide to ignore traditional wisdom and go for a "love marriage" that too with someone from another caste, you are taking a very serious risk. 1. you are losing the benefit of the traditional wisdom which comes from experience of your parents, if they do not give their consent. 2. a more serious aspect is that you are going against the wisdom contained in Vedas which is a very serious matter. Well, if you choose to doggedly pursue your decision then who can stop you. Go ahead and take what comes. Now the Vedas part requires some explanation. Vedas speak about the four varnas and do not approve mixing. Vedas are eternal truth. Unlike science which are relative truths(cartesian mechanics holds upto a point beyond which it is useless and u require new quantum mechanics to explain things. Des Cartes would turn in his grave if he hears people talking about uncertainty principle.. so science is truth relative to time). If we do not understand the truths said in vedas because our understanding has not yet matured or because we do not have tools to understand, there is no meaning in rejecting vedas as dogmaatic and not practical. If you follow vedas you can live happily. You will leave behind progenies which will live happily. otherwise... learn by mistake that is if u live long enough
 
People get married at the age of 25 plus or minus now. At that age, they are suppose to have better maturity.

I am sure most of the children of our community take decisions relating to marriage after consulting parents only. Hardly 10% go against the wishes of the parents. Parents may also have to be blamed for such cases.

When both husband and wife go for job, they have little time to attend to children. Probably grand parents can play an effective role in such circumstances.

We have to analyse the origin of the problem first. I feel failure of the parents are also one of the reasons for the problem. If the parents fail, children has to manage themselves.

All the best
 
Might be ramani sir is correct. But, Iam sure there are no answers for suraju queries. Love marriage will surely deprive our community dignity. It is just pure love marriage and certainly not a conversion as in other religions they follow it in strict manners. If you marry a girl or boy from other caste or religion, how will you make them to celebrate each and every function? Even the people who brought up totally in this culture are now asking so many questions regarding why this many vrithams and functions... Think it of. If you are stopping a single function, your son will also won't celebrate that. Similarly the whole descendents of your family line will change the trend of celebrating each and every festival. Am not blaming our customs, it is very very flexi... Noone is forcing you to celebrate or noone is forcing you to pray through vrithas. But, if you fail to pass these things to next generation, what will happen??? Already many of the fucntions were not celebrated by us (a sad thing). People have much money with them, they spend lavish with parties and other things. Once again, am not blaming about soceital upgradity and actingaccording to that. But, I wish atleast in your home try to be a brahmin. Am just telling the truth which I am seeing. But they will ask hundreds of question to celebrate a vinayaka chaturthi? They will think of thrice before providing "vadhyar sambavanai". See, if our system (I mean a proper total Brahmin family system) itself will goes like this, what will happen if you people getting married and get rid off from our society???. Then our whole community will vanish soon. One final thing I wish to conclude is you cannot expect a freedom like this in any religion. Am open for any kinda discussion regarding this. But guys and girls please think of twice. Dont think only your selfish hearts. there are so many hearts of past, present and future generations mixed in your single marriage bonding... At the same time, If your love is true, there is nothing to stop you. You yourself will get rid of everything and certainly I wont blame you in that case. One thing is just think of our ancient, prosperous, marvellous, liberal society only once and perform your love marriage then as you wish.Pranams.
 
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Dear suraju06 Ji,

My comments pertinent to the three highlighted areas below:

1. Regarding Vedas, where does it exactly say that people from different varnas can not intermarry? Varna by birth, by all accounts is a much later wisdom imparted to continue castes (not varna).

2. Regarding Des Cartes, the uncertainty principle is for subatomic particles not applying to cartesian theory. It does not also overwrite the Cartesian theory. Different times do not produce different theories with modern science, they either add or improve the theories. For example Newtonian theory of Gravity was added on to with Einstein's special theory. Newton's theory still applies as a specific case of Eintein's theory.

3. So are you saying that any person who marries out of love will face a possible death penalty from Gods? How do you know this?

Regards,
KRS



Who said there is no love in arranged marriages. It would be better to frame the question differently. That apart, when you decide to ignore traditional wisdom and go for a "love marriage" that too with someone from another caste, you are taking a very serious risk. 1. you are losing the benefit of the traditional wisdom which comes from experience of your parents, if they do not give their consent. 2. a more serious aspect is that you are going against the wisdom contained in Vedas which is a very serious matter. Well, if you choose to doggedly pursue your decision then who can stop you. Go ahead and take what comes. Now the Vedas part requires some explanation. Vedas speak about the four varnas and do not approve mixing. Vedas are eternal truth. Unlike science which are relative truths(cartesian mechanics holds upto a point beyond which it is useless and u require new quantum mechanics to explain things. Des Cartes would turn in his grave if he hears people talking about uncertainty principle.. so science is truth relative to time). If we do not understand the truths said in vedas because our understanding has not yet matured or because we do not have tools to understand, there is no meaning in rejecting vedas as dogmaatic and not practical. If you follow vedas you can live happily. You will leave behind progenies which will live happily. otherwise... learn by mistake that is if u live long enough
 
Love is an integral part of life

Dear Friends,

Love is an integral part of life. Love and Life cannot be separated. We live to be loved and our object in life should be loveable for others. Coming to the question 'is love marriage acceptable', because the parents think they love their children too much, they expect their sons and daughters to behave more acceptable to themselves first. The parents (or elders in the family) also love their religion and customs so much that they find it very hard to think differently whenever a love proposal is putforth by their children. It is also because of too much of possessiveness of the parents on their children. Well love marriages are more stronger and stable where there prevails a strong understanding of the individuals and also a strong and sustainable economic condition. In the abcence of mental stability and proper financial support, any person would fail and couples married out of love or engaged by elders are no exception. Caste, Creed, Religion, customs, rituals etc., are created by human and could be erased easily. I do not think that God wanted his children be differentiated by religion/s or religious believes. If God is one and one believes in it firmly, there is nothing called a religion or caste or any such social barriers. Every saint or religious leaders have said and are saying 'Love' among humanbeings only will bring prosperity. If so, why should we stop it or hinder it? As long as the people in love are in love of each other and not on one other's skin or wealth, I think every love should be encouraged and appreciated. Let us bless lovers but let us also caution them that let the parents be aware of it and let the parents also be give time enough to understand the real love and request them to pave a lovely path for their married life.

regards,

S Kannan
Bangalore
 
Dear Friends,

Love is an integral part of life. Love and Life cannot be separated. We live to be loved and our object in life should be loveable for others. Coming to the question 'is love marriage acceptable', because the parents think they love their children too much, they expect their sons and daughters to behave more acceptable to themselves first. The parents (or elders in the family) also love their religion and customs so much that they find it very hard to think differently whenever a love proposal is putforth by their children. It is also because of too much of possessiveness of the parents on their children. Well love marriages are more stronger and stable where there prevails a strong understanding of the individuals and also a strong and sustainable economic condition. In the abcence of mental stability and proper financial support, any person would fail and couples married out of love or engaged by elders are no exception. Caste, Creed, Religion, customs, rituals etc., are created by human and could be erased easily. I do not think that God wanted his children be differentiated by religion/s or religious believes. If God is one and one believes in it firmly, there is nothing called a religion or caste or any such social barriers. Every saint or religious leaders have said and are saying 'Love' among humanbeings only will bring prosperity. If so, why should we stop it or hinder it? As long as the people in love are in love of each other and not on one other's skin or wealth, I think every love should be encouraged and appreciated. Let us bless lovers but let us also caution them that let the parents be aware of it and let the parents also be give time enough to understand the real love and request them to pave a lovely path for their married life.

regards,

S Kannan
Bangalore
I am with Mr Kannan. Absolutely right. The parents should do a clear role in analysing the true depth of their ward/ when the latter come with a proposal of love marriage and the wards also should take right judgement taking into considerations all factors not of skin or wealth or lust. Because they say marriage is aayirankaalathu payir. But if love blossoms amongst inter caste or interreligion how to handle it and what would be the offspring's cast or religion and how will the offsprings be able to take on in the life given the fact that the roots are different. Pure love etc is fine & Ok., But socially,economically they should grow, live and sustain. Could there be impediments?. Some learned peoples's views please.......
 
Dear suraju06 Ji,

My comments pertinent to the three highlighted areas below:

1. Regarding Vedas, where does it exactly say that people from different varnas can not intermarry? Varna by birth, by all accounts is a much later wisdom imparted to continue castes (not varna).

2. Regarding Des Cartes, the uncertainty principle is for subatomic particles not applying to cartesian theory. It does not also overwrite the Cartesian theory. Different times do not produce different theories with modern science, they either add or improve the theories. For example Newtonian theory of Gravity was added on to with Einstein's special theory. Newton's theory still applies as a specific case of Eintein's theory.

3. So are you saying that any person who marries out of love will face a possible death penalty from Gods? How do you know this?

Regards,
KRS
Dear Mr. KRS, To save space and time, I had posted a brief comment. As it has led to some wrong deductions, I am elaborating a little.
1. There are specific portions in Vedas where it is indicated that mixing of varnas lead to unpredictable and unpleasant results. I will give you specific references later. Right away I can quote others who have mentioned this in their granthas but that wont suffice for you even though their wisdom is directly derived from the vedas.
2.About Des cartes, Newton and the new physics(atomic) I quote here a particle physicist who is also a popular writer."At the end of the 19th centuryNewtonian mechanics had lost its role as the fundamental theory of natural phenomena. Maxwell's electrodynamics and Darwin's theory of evolution involved concepts that clearly went beyond the Newtonian model and indicated that the universe was far more complex than Des Cartes and Newton had imagined. Nevertheless Newtonian physics though insufficient to explain all natural phenomena were still believed to be correct. The first three decades of our century changed this situation radically. Two developments in physics culminating in relativity theory and in quantum theory shattered all the principal concepts of the Cartesian world view and Newtonian mechanics.The notion of absolute space and time, the elementary solid particles, the fundamental material substance, the strictly causal nature of physical phenomena and the objective description of nature-- none of these concepts could be extended to the new domains into which physics was now penetrating....."(quote from the book The Turning Point by Fritjof Capra, Page62.) In so many words what is stated here is just what I said, that Newtonian mechanics and Cartesian world view could not explain when matters reached the level of sub-atomic particles. So I stand by what I had said, that scientific theories are relative to time. To give another simple example, man believed strongly for a long time that the earth was flat untill there came Copernicus. For a learned man of pre-Copernicus age the earth was indeed flat and there was no reason for him to believe that it was anything else. What I am saying is just that Science speaks truth as is known at a particular point of time. The "truth" is not an eternal truth.
3. You have not understood what I said. My point is that at the rebosome level what is happening is not yet known fully. There are research groups who have proposed that genes learn from the environment. This is equivalent to saying that genes are modifying their behaviour according to environmental factors. Think about it. If u ignore vedas and go ahead and marry from across varnas, you do not know what you are going to get. What you are creating may not be visible to you immediately as evolution is a painfully slow process. You may see the result of your action in such matters only after a few centuries. That is why I said "if you live that long". Moreover I have not said that you dont do this or that as it is your choice. But all I say is that Vedas should be respected for they are eternal truth. They are truths which may be bitter in the post french revolution world where equality, fraternity etc are the "in" words. The voice of truth may be and is indeed in minority. But it is never muted. Best wishes. Regards.
 
Dear Sri suraju06 Ji,

Sorry for the delayed response. Till I saw this thread again through the posting above of Sri SwaminathaSharma Ji, I somehow missed your response. Regarding different points:

1. Please do not forget to cite the Vedas where the seperation of Varnas are spelled out.

2. My issue was with your statement that science is 'relative truth' and 'time oriented' to differentiate from what is contained in the Vedas.. May be I am not understanding your import. Scientific theories unveil the 'truth' based on knowledge, scientific advancement etc. Should not be confused with Vedas. One is about physical world and the other is about spiritual. The former is controlled by certain scientific methodology while the latter is based on belief.

3. Your basic assumption about Vedas and Varnas itself, IMHO is not correct. So to extend it to gene evolution, seems to me as quite flawed. For example, most of the humanity has 99% identical genes. And you and I are products of quite a mixing of different races. There are no pure races in the world anymore, because of constant migrations and mixing. Please let me know why I am wrong?

Regards,
KRS

Regards,
KRS
 
Sorry, Sri Swaminatha Sharma Ji,

I do not consider any Smrithis as part of 'Vedas' (Strutis), if your above posting is pertaining to my question #1 to Suraju06 Ji. Manu Smrithi is supposed to be a living code of conduct, to be constantly changed according to different Yugas and even within Yugas. It only reflects the particular customs and edicts for the times it was written.

On the other hand if your intent was not to answer my question to Sri Sraju06 Ji, on citing any such edicts from the Srutis, then, please disregard this post.

Regards,
KRS
 
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Dear Sri suraju06 Ji,

Sorry for the delayed response. Till I saw this thread again through the posting above of Sri SwaminathaSharma Ji, I somehow missed your response. Regarding different points:

1. Please do not forget to cite the Vedas where the seperation of Varnas are spelled out.

2. My issue was with your statement that science is 'relative truth' and 'time oriented' to differentiate from what is contained in the Vedas.. May be I am not understanding your import. Scientific theories unveil the 'truth' based on knowledge, scientific advancement etc. Should not be confused with Vedas. One is about physical world and the other is about spiritual. The former is controlled by certain scientific methodology while the latter is based on belief.

3. Your basic assumption about Vedas and Varnas itself, IMHO is not correct. So to extend it to gene evolution, seems to me as quite flawed. For example, most of the humanity has 99% identical genes. And you and I are products of quite a mixing of different races. There are no pure races in the world anymore, because of constant migrations and mixing. Please let me know why I am wrong?

Regards,
KRS

Regards,
KRS
1)I will be giving you the reference.
2)Your understanding of Vedas and what is said in them is totally wrong. There is no confusion in my mind about what is said in vedas and what science stands for. Even the word Veda means knowledge.Your statement that science is about the physical world may be correct but your statement that vedas is about the spiritual world alone is completely wrong. Please approach a vedic scholar and ask him what is said in vedas. You will get the information. Vedas speak about many things which are all the quintessence of knowledge about those respoective subjects. Even after my giving you references by scientists about the relative, transcient nature the scientific truths u are not able to understand it, I do not know how to explain my point to you. Did you read my simple example of the earth being flat upto a point of time? If u have understood it then the transcient, relative nature of scientific truth would have become clear to you.Again if you have read the Satyam Vadha part of my posting, it would have become clear to you the different nature of the permanent truth said in vedas. Please read my posting again and contemplate and peceive. I am sure u will get it alright. Thank you.
3. answer already included in the 2 above. About the miixing of the races etc., there are many such things happening. Whatever happens is not what is right. Vedas can only give you the knowledge. How you use that knowledge is your head ache. When vedas say speak truth they do not insist. Whatever vedas give is only given as " ya evam vedha" or as "ithyupanishad". Yes mixing of races, castes etc have taken place, are taking place and may take place in future also. But that does not make it the right thing to do. That is my point. Hope I have made it clear. Thank you.
 
It is said that in marriage :

Kanyaa varayate roopam (the girl is interested in the good looks of the groom)

Maata vitham,pitaa shrutam, (girl’s mother is concerned about the wealth of the groom
Girl’s father about what is heard/talked about the groom)

Hitamicchandi baandhavaah, (girl’s brothers are concerned how the relationship will
Benefit)

Mrishtaannamitarenavah.. ( all others are interested in sumptuous food)

In love marriage, without prior consent of the family, only the first part-about looks –is taken care of. But in an arranged marriage, all the backgrounds are checked mostly. Cross checking and verification are also done by relatives and friends.So in the unfortunate situations, support can be expected from different quarters. If similar situations happen in the love marriage case where either family has not accepted , the burden on the couple is heavy and may lead to pathetic situations. This does not mean that that all cases of inter faith marriages are failures.

But Brahmin family were quite magnanimous and were open to love marriages and intercaste marriages in their family,even during the times when the general society(in Indian context) did not accept so openly.

Now a point about inter mixing of races,it is not automatic in animal or plant life, so it need not be forced. —as you may know a serious discussion is current in India(already over in European countries) about the genetically modified Brinjal… May be interested can go for more in the contemporary media. Cat and tiger, though from same family does not cross breed. I am only pointing an allusion for easy understanding. No other thing should be deducted from this.

Nature wants variety and speciality to stay and continue.


Greetings
 
Dear Sri Swaminathasharma Ji,

Sorry to say this. But all indians and Pakistanis belong to the Sout Asian Race. Whatever should not be mixed, has already been mixed.

I can understand if you argue from the viewpoint of not mixing cultures. But you are mixing something biological with what is cultural.

Your statement is perfectly wrong, on it's scientific merit.

Regards,
KRS
Mixing of races... particulary with our community shud be stopped at any cost....
which is prohibited in all our sastras and smrithis.....

I reqest all our communal followers, shoud join hand in this to stop this....and have a good marriage with traditional methods to have good future citizens as quoted by all our elders....
 
In fact, brahmin boys marrying girls from other communities are more in number. But, we tend to believe that it may not create that much damage, as brahmin girls marrying boys from other communities. Here, the freedom of a male is not only taken for granted, but also respected. If what a girl does is wrong, the same principle applies to boys too.

But, usually it is the women in the family who are the torch-bearers and custodians of culture and traditions. When they themselves fail in their role, it will spell doom for the culture they come from. It is the cause for indignation, anguish and disappointment of all.
 
Dear Sri Swaminathasharma ji,

Thank you very much for the jovial answer. Appreciate it much.

Had asked bcoz ppl generally think that for boys anything is acceptable, but only girls must follow rules and norms (diff rules for girls, diff rules for boys).

Usually girls are more concerned about what the parents will think, and usually they are more thoughtful than a guy, and will think twice before entering into a relationship.

Actually what Shri Pannvalan ji says is what i am seeing in my observation too - that brahmin boys are marrying NB girls a lot more.
 
hi all
marriage is not 2 individuals..but mingling of 2 families....in marriage
relationship food/culture/social customs are important...marriage
is not a temporary contact....so same nomenclature works well
than others...even boy/ girl the situations are same...so it shud
be avoided....may be looks good for short term...but always
harmful in intercaste marriage for long term....its not good for both families ..even sri krishna said in bhagavad
gita....varna sankara is dangerous to community as well as for the
nation...this is my personal 2 cents view...

regards
tbs
 
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