• This forum contains old posts that have been closed. New threads and replies may not be made here. Please navigate to the relevant forum to create a new thread or post a reply.
  • Welcome to Tamil Brahmins forums.

    You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our Free Brahmin Community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

    If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.

Interfaith Marriage: Christian And Hindu Love Story Told In 'Saffron Cross'

Status
Not open for further replies.
OP
OP
prasad1

prasad1

Gold Member
Gold Member
It always amuses me to read the comments here by the members regarding this topic. Majority of them quote experiences of their friends, relatives. The posts are made as though they are the ultimate authority on the subject though nobody seems to be in an inter caste/ interfaith marriage. I have been married for more than 35 years to a Syrian Christian woman and I have not faced even one of the problems mentioned by these posts in my life.

I guess it is the fear of the unknown.

When I was little the elders in the family used an expression "பூச்சாண்டி பிடிச்சிண்டு போயிடும்". I am reminded of that reading all these "ஹேஷ்யம்"s.

LOL

K. Kumar

Congratulation and welcome to the forum.
My friend A hindu Doctor was married to this wonderful Christian for 42 years. She passed away last year. He has 2 adult children, and lot of grandkids. He spends his time with both of them.

It is ignorance, and also holier than thou attitude. Secondly most of them stayed in their familiar surroundings and also have friends and family in the similar environment.
There are problems even when both husband and wife come from same sub-caste, and economic background. There is compromise in every marriage even after 35 years. That is life.
 
As told by a friend it will be a problem when the children grow and want to marry. In india the caste system is still prevailing nd we brahmins should be very strict in opposing intercaste marriage to safeguard our religion, vedas and our brahmin community. A hindu is born only not converted from any other community. I am sure those who are having marriageble children born of intercaste marriage will realise this
[email protected]
 

tks

Well-known member
Few religions in the world have exclusivity built into them. For them acceptance of others is conditional to converting them.
Jews, Hindus, Syrian Christians etc do not have conversion concept and exclusivity (e.g., all who do not follow our faith are destined to hell etc) built into their theology. Such religions are gentle and can easily coexist with others.

I have seen many IR marriages work when conversion is not even indirectly implied . Children of such marriages follow traditions of both or none or choose something of their own liking
 

CHANDRU1849

Well-known member
Mostly I have noticed that children eventually follow the mother's faith in an inter faith marriage.

If the mother is a christian and the father is a Hindu..its almost 99.9999% of the time the children will be Christianity friendly.

I have noted that Hindu men only make the biggest deal and hue and cry if their wife is also Hindu..they will try to control even which Devata the wife worships etc but if a Hindu male marries a Non Hindu female..he becomes "brain dead" and follows everything his wife says!

Praise the Lord!

It is no so. If one of the partners is from an Abrahamic Religion , irrespective of gender, the children invariably follow that Religion. The ultimate winner is the Abrahamic Religion.
 

CHANDRU1849

Well-known member
What if the race was same, but each practice their own religion.
Let us say an Indian Muslim marries an Indian Hindu, or an Indian Hindu marries a Indian Christian. I have seen successful IR marriages of that kind where no conversion is involved. I have a couple with Wife being Sikh and Husband is Hindu.
On most Sunday they go separately to temple and Gurudwara.

Sikhs are not Hindus even though culturally we are similar.

In all such cases the ultimate question is about dominant religion. If IR marriage is between a Indian Hindu / non-Indian Hindu and Christian or Muslim, in most of the cases the dominant religion is either Christianity or Islam. Success of IR marriage also involves the level of religious tolerance.

In the case of Hindu and Sikh marriage, the struggle will be less, since Sikhism has its roots in Hinduism.
 

krish44

Gold Member
Gold Member
Dear Krish44,

Luck or geographic location has nothing to with it.

If you look at the comments in this forum in the year 2015, you can imagine how conservative the comments / opinions would have been in the mid 1970s. Though the TBs of Delhi were progressive in the 70s when it came to marriage they were quite conservative. Syrian Christians were equally conservative.

My wife and I worked at it to overcome every problem that is being discussed here. To our way of thinking it was no different than any other marriage. You have to make compromises to make it work.

I look at a lot of arranged marriages in my family and amongst friends, and they are no different. The successful ones have made compromises (though in most cases it is the woman who makes all the adjustments :))

It all depends on how you approach the problem and the steps you take to solve the problems. In our case we were both secure in our religious beliefs to be bold enough to respect the other one's beliefs. We faced the society as a united team and both the families accepted us for what we are. The rest was easy.

K. Kumar
dear kumarji
delhi is different. it is more cosmopolitan. It is my home.

even then , it is true that it requires a lot of adjustments more than a conventional marriage

recently when I attended a grahapravesam of one such couple-girl being syrian christian with TB

husband a relaative of mine, the rituals were with hindu pandits and the girl in traditional 9yar ds

saree with kumkum and thaali.

yet there was a photo of jesus christ in the glass almirah in the room where the rituals were to be

performed. the photo suddenly got removed at the start of the function and the girl was very

upset

the photo was discovered later in the couples

bedroom conveniently hung there by the husband to avoid embarrassment to his hindu relatives.

I do not know if the husband was beaten up by the girl later for this.lol

this is the kind of adjustment one has to make .

their child sports a christian middle name by which she is referred iby mothers relatives and by hindu name by

fathers relatives.

she ultimately went off to US as she could not put up with dual identity
 

CHANDRU1849

Well-known member
My friend A hindu Doctor was married to this wonderful Christian for 42 years. She passed away last year. He has 2 adult children, and lot of grandkids. He spends his time with both of them.

What is the religion of 2 adult children and grand kids. Why have you not mentioned it?
 

Raji Ram

Gold Member
Gold Member
......My wife and I worked at it to overcome every problem that is being discussed here. To our way of thinking it was no different than any other marriage. You have to make compromises to make it work. ............

We faced the society as a united team and both the families accepted us for what we are. The rest was easy.
Dear Sir,

You accept that you had to overcome every problem that is being discussed here, which means that there ARE problems.

These are the பூச்சாண்டி-s!

Your families have accepted and so your problems were less! God / Gods bless your family. :)
 

krish44

Gold Member
Gold Member
more than the intercaste or inter religion couple their children find it difficult to find matches in arranged marriage.

It took me more than three years to find a match for B-NB offspring -a boy with a PG foreign degree well employed.

most brahmins refuse such matches if father is NB while mother of th boy a TB preferred a TB match. ultimately I



could get a NB girl to marry the boy.

brahmins are very particular about caste. summarily reject NBs.in arranged matches.
 

zebra16

Well-known member
It always amuses me to read the comments here by the members regarding this topic. Majority of them quote experiences of their friends, relatives. The posts are made as though they are the ultimate authority on the subject though nobody seems to be in an inter caste/ interfaith marriage. I have been married for more than 35 years to a Syrian Christian woman and I have not faced even one of the problems mentioned by these posts in my life.

I guess it is the fear of the unknown.

When I was little the elders in the family used an expression "பூச்சாண்டி பிடிச்சிண்டு போயிடும்". I am reminded of that reading all these "ஹேஷ்யம்"s.

LOL

K. Kumar

It also amuses me a lot when you wake up from the slumber and start to share your so called **"pearls of wisdom****" quite unnecessarily. Yours is post # 18 and not a SINGLE POST in the thread till then has contained anything against the IR marriages but you start off your post with your dismissive style of "it ALWAYS amuses".

About your experience of 35 years of marriage, is it not evident that you do not have any experience of same caste or arranged marriage and all that you hear or see is second hand opinion? So what gives you the right to get yourselves amused?

May be you have forgotten another tamizh proverb "ikkaRai Mattukku akkaRai pachchai", the grass is green on the otherside for the cow and this is what makes you guys to keep returning to this forum.
 

zebra16

Well-known member
What is the generalization that is offending you? If the shoe does not fit, it is not for you. If it fits you wear it. I did not post with you in my mind. Then it does not right for you to lecture others. Don't go looking for a fight, when it was not there.

A few days before, you started off one of your posts with a grand-standing quotation of "Satyam bruyat priyam bruyat,...."

If this is the tone and tenor of your agreeable manner of speaking, I shudder to think what you disagreeable manner would be ? :)
 

Naina_Marbus

Well-known member
As a diversion, here is a story:

Lauren is white, from England, studying pharmacy. Abhiram is from India who lived and worked in New Jersey for sometime.

In December 2012 they connected through a vegetarian forum online. As they chatted, something clicked, they fell in love, and within days of that first online conversation decided they wanted to be together. Just a few weeks later Lauren moved to India and they got married. They now live in Nagpur with Abhiram's family.

This video describes how Lauren is adjusting to life as a traditional Indian wife.


BBC News - 'My new life as an Indian wife'
 
Last edited:
K

kkumar29

Guest
zebra16,

It is obvious that you seem to get all riled up whenever you see a post from me and make statements without either reading my post properly or not comprehending what is posted by me. You made a similar post when I posted about Australia and asked me why I don't comment on happenings in India.

In my post I did not make any comments about arranged marriages or same caste marriages. My post was targeted at posts by members who were talking about perceived problems in IR marriages without experiencing it themselves.

But then I am wasting my time explaining to you, who seems to have no ability to comprehend the written word.

K. Kumar
 

krish44

Gold Member
Gold Member
As a diversion, here is a story:

Lauren is white, from England, studying pharmacy. Abhiram is from India who lived and worked in New Jersey for sometime.

In December 2012 they connected through a vegetarian forum online. As they chatted, something clicked, they fell in love, and within days of that first online conversation decided they wanted to be together. Just a few weeks later Lauren moved to India and they got married. They now live in Nagpur with Abhiram's family.

This video describes how Lauren is adjusting to life as a traditional Indian wife.


BBC News - 'My new life as an Indian wife'
very nice naina marbusji.

thanks for a wonderful post.
 

zebra16

Well-known member
zebra16,

It is obvious that you seem to get all riled up whenever you see a post from me and make statements without either reading my post properly or not comprehending what is posted by me. You made a similar post when I posted about Australia and asked me why I don't comment on happenings in India.

In my post I did not make any comments about arranged marriages or same caste marriages. My post was targeted at posts by members who were talking about perceived problems in IR marriages without experiencing it themselves.

But then I am wasting my time explaining to you, who seems to have no ability to comprehend the written word.

K. Kumar


Actually you are wasting other people's time. You started to get "amused" without any reason. I do understand your compulsion to present yourselves as "NAANUM IRRUKIREN" whenever the IC/IR marriages crop up and start to pontificate as if you are the only one in the world to have IR marriages,,, a sort of 'AAIYRUTHIL ORUVAN" SYNDROME lol
 
Last edited:

tbs

Well-known member
As a diversion, here is a story:

Lauren is white, from England, studying pharmacy. Abhiram is from India who lived and worked in New Jersey for sometime.

In December 2012 they connected through a vegetarian forum online. As they chatted, something clicked, they fell in love, and within days of that first online conversation decided they wanted to be together. Just a few weeks later Lauren moved to India and they got married. They now live in Nagpur with Abhiram's family.

This video describes how Lauren is adjusting to life as a traditional Indian wife.


BBC News - 'My new life as an Indian wife'
hi

nice....i think abhiram is marathi brahmin boy...
 
K

kkumar29

Guest
Dear Sir,

You accept that you had to overcome every problem that is being discussed here, which means that there ARE problems.

These are the பூச்சாண்டி-s!

Your families have accepted and so your problems were less! God / Gods bless your family. :)

Ms Raji Ram,

I guess my statement was not worded right. I should have said that we anticipated the kind of problems being discussed here. We had discussed how we would handle each situation that we could foresee and stood together as a team. No external party was allowed to interfere in our decisions. We listened to both our families and accommodated their wishes as much as practical and possible. That is the reason why the conservative members in both families were able to accept us. As an example, we got married in a Church, got married the TB way and got married in the Registrar's office to keep the GOI happy. It is a question of how much you trust and love your partner and what you are willing to compromise for the partner. What I am trying to say is that if the couple understand and respect the other person's beliefs and religion it is not an insurmountable problem. It becomes a problem only if it turns into an ego issue.

I will stop here otherwise Mr. Zebra16 will get his knickers in a twist and start howling.

This will be my last post.

K. Kumar
 
Last edited:

Raji Ram

Gold Member
Gold Member
I R couples have no problems if they live far away from India! :peace:

If in India, they have to attend several religious functions in the family and extended families. Not all families will be happy to have

persons from other faith on such occasions. A chinese girl felt like fish out of water while attending a Homam in my friend' house, as

she unable to follow any of our customs and traditions! She also feared to come near the Homam, fearing the wrath of Indian Gods! :)
 

zebra16

Well-known member
I R couples have no problems if they live far away from India! :peace:

If in India, they have to attend several religious functions in the family and extended families. Not all families will be happy to have

persons from other faith on such occasions. A chinese girl felt like fish out of water while attending a Homam in my friend' house, as

she unable to follow any of our customs and traditions! She also feared to come near the Homam, fearing the wrath of Indian Gods! :)


Hshhhhhhhh.... Please do not write such straight forward things. Mr K Kumar will get more amused :) The chinese bride and the TB groom should have sought the assistance of Mr KK and should have prepared, in advance, the itenerary of homams to attend and to skip. You will know about these things only if you have had personal IR marriage, otherwise you know a zilch about such thngs.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top
Thank you for visiting TamilBrahmins.com

You seem to have an Ad Blocker on.

We depend on advertising to keep our content free for you. Please consider whitelisting us in your ad blocker so that we can continue to provide the content you have come here to enjoy.

Alternatively, consider upgrading your account to enjoy an ad-free experience along with numerous other benefits. To upgrade your account, please visit the account upgrades page

You can also donate financially if you can. Please Click Here on how you can do that.

I've Disabled AdBlock    No Thanks