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Inter caste marriages
- Thread starter pannvalan
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RVR
0
It reminds me of the experience of Prof Sathyaseelan, a well know Tamil scholar, in USA. (Sri KRS - you may remember him at our college in Trichy)
Prof Sathyaseelan visisted USA and an interviewer asked him about his family life. He replied that he is married about 40 years ago and is living with her till date. The interviewer immediately shot back with another question, `how is it possible to live with the same wife for more than forty years?'
Divorce rates are going up in India also particularly in big cities. May be women empowerment in the last few decades is responsible for the same but it is inevitable.
All the best
i suppose its bcoz divorce still carries social stigma with it.
some elderly couples can live as strangers under the same roof - just to get their children married - since it wud be difficult to get an alliance for their children if they divorced.
in the previous generations, it did not matter if a woman had done ias or medicine, if a lady's in-laws made life miserable for her, she wud still adjust by staying quite and bearing it all.
to me, the only difference b/w then and now is not about women getting educated, or being finacially independent, its just that these days women do not seem to tolerate as much now - so divorce rates seem to be going up now.
i had read a long back once that punjab had the highest divorce rates...the most common reason apparently was cited as harrasment and neglect. dowry and adultery had also featured in the list of reasons.
regards.
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Sow. Sri. Renukakarthikayan,
You have quoted some of your personal experiences with respect to divine/transient/conditional love. Kindly allow me to address the general views only, please. Your views are in quotation.
“You were right when you said true love last till last rites.
See it ends there.”
Yes, it is true for the dead person. That dead person can not express love anymore due to the lack of vehicle called ‘physical body’. But, that dead person’s atman or soul or memories can still be loved. If that person had performed more deeds for the social development/social comfort, then that person would be fondly remembered by many for many years after that person’s death.
“i think there is a nice old tamil song that depicts that.
Wifes relationship is in the house.
Child comes to the funeral ground only.
Who comes with us finally?”
வீடுவரைஉறவு ; வீதிவரைமனைவி
காடுவரைபிள்ளை; கடைசிவரையாரோ? – Kannadasan.
Who has the concrete answer for that question? There are a lot of speculations, theories, philosophies; but is there any proof?
“Religion is man made at times and also wrongly interprated by some.
GOD does not demand murder.
Its man who murders.
Even animals do not murder.”
If the religion is man made, then God concept is man made too. Is there any God not attached to any of the religion? There may be a religion not attached to any God, but all the Gods were made in attachment to promote a particular religion.
Oh yes, there is at least one religion whose God demand murder from his followers. There are religions who has their divine book allegedly was revealed by the God. The words in such books are revered as God’s commands. I have read many passages from such books demanding for murder. Wrongly interpreted? No. Since millions of people are not rightly following those books, humanity still survives. It may change in the future though.
Animals are more cultured than human beings. So, they do not commit murders. (seriously. There is no sarcasm involved).
You have quoted some of your personal experiences with respect to divine/transient/conditional love. Kindly allow me to address the general views only, please. Your views are in quotation.
“You were right when you said true love last till last rites.
See it ends there.”
Yes, it is true for the dead person. That dead person can not express love anymore due to the lack of vehicle called ‘physical body’. But, that dead person’s atman or soul or memories can still be loved. If that person had performed more deeds for the social development/social comfort, then that person would be fondly remembered by many for many years after that person’s death.
“i think there is a nice old tamil song that depicts that.
Wifes relationship is in the house.
Child comes to the funeral ground only.
Who comes with us finally?”
வீடுவரைஉறவு ; வீதிவரைமனைவி
காடுவரைபிள்ளை; கடைசிவரையாரோ? – Kannadasan.
Who has the concrete answer for that question? There are a lot of speculations, theories, philosophies; but is there any proof?
“Religion is man made at times and also wrongly interprated by some.
GOD does not demand murder.
Its man who murders.
Even animals do not murder.”
If the religion is man made, then God concept is man made too. Is there any God not attached to any of the religion? There may be a religion not attached to any God, but all the Gods were made in attachment to promote a particular religion.
Oh yes, there is at least one religion whose God demand murder from his followers. There are religions who has their divine book allegedly was revealed by the God. The words in such books are revered as God’s commands. I have read many passages from such books demanding for murder. Wrongly interpreted? No. Since millions of people are not rightly following those books, humanity still survives. It may change in the future though.
Animals are more cultured than human beings. So, they do not commit murders. (seriously. There is no sarcasm involved).
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Women empowerment is a must and it is not yet complete in India.
But, sadly this has also given the necessary courage and arrogance too in many cases.
(Yet, only men commit heinous crimes even though in many cases, a woman will be the cause or the instigator).
Coming to the rate of divorces, women empowerment is just another reason as others. Therefore, we cannot reverse the process of women empowerment to reduce the divorces in the society. If we do it, it will result in more degradation in other ways. (poverty, adultery, suicides, lunacy etc. will be on the rise).
Divorce is the result of growing intolerance between the husband and wife. It is more prevalent in urban settings, amongst educated and employed (both employed)
persons. Sadly, these persons call themselves as urban elites! What a shame!
Law has become divorce-friendly nowadays. People also have started thinking it is better to break the relationship, as continuing it further is not in the interests of both partners. The social stigma attached to divorces is also slowly disappearing.
I know personally many divorcess, not finding it so difficult, painful and shameful, as it was once, when they looked for a suitable match for their boy/girl.
All things said and done, Indian couples make better adjustments, whether it is out of sheer necessity or willingness or both.
But, sadly this has also given the necessary courage and arrogance too in many cases.
(Yet, only men commit heinous crimes even though in many cases, a woman will be the cause or the instigator).
Coming to the rate of divorces, women empowerment is just another reason as others. Therefore, we cannot reverse the process of women empowerment to reduce the divorces in the society. If we do it, it will result in more degradation in other ways. (poverty, adultery, suicides, lunacy etc. will be on the rise).
Divorce is the result of growing intolerance between the husband and wife. It is more prevalent in urban settings, amongst educated and employed (both employed)
persons. Sadly, these persons call themselves as urban elites! What a shame!
Law has become divorce-friendly nowadays. People also have started thinking it is better to break the relationship, as continuing it further is not in the interests of both partners. The social stigma attached to divorces is also slowly disappearing.
I know personally many divorcess, not finding it so difficult, painful and shameful, as it was once, when they looked for a suitable match for their boy/girl.
All things said and done, Indian couples make better adjustments, whether it is out of sheer necessity or willingness or both.
S
sapthajihva
Guest
Yes, women empowerment has helped a lot... sec 498A is the latest brahmasthra for women... unfortunately, it seems that the usage has digressed a lot.
Regards,
Regards,
can divorce not ever be an outlet for damage control of a bad marriage?
there is only so much, in our society that is known between the boy and the girl. many secrets are withheld, and there is no such thing as opening your heart out before the marriage.
let us all examine our own families. can we not come up with atleast ONE secret which we are prone to hide from an intended sambandhi?
eventually it gets found out. and what should be the reaction? should it be, 'OK i got duped. but what to do? this is my fate. i have got to live with it' or find another way out of it.
these are white people. this colleague of mine, used to say, that the happiest day of his & his sister's life was the day when their mother and father separated.
all of a sudden, there was peace in the house. no more screaming. throwing of pots and pans. then the father & mother married someone else, and each is very happy.
this above is a simplistic example, but i hope to make a point here. sometimes, two people, are never meant to be together, and through circumstances become husband and wife, only to realize their utter incompatibility.
how can you mix oil and water?
so, point blank, condemning divorce, maybe we should analyze the root cause of such, and come up with guidelines so that this phenomenon can be reduced.
i do not believe same or inter caste marriage has anything to do with compatibility. marrying within caste, helps, as many of the values are the same. but marrying outside, also has its charms, and in a fair match, each is more anxious to accommodate and this is what love is all about.
how can parents, who arrange marriage, ever understand the concept of love. i do not mean love as portrayed in tamil movies. but serious getting to know each other, and that determination at some point after the relationship has matured, with an eagerness to share the rest of the life together.
parents whose motto is காதலாவது கத்திரிக்காய் are rather naive into thinking, that once married, everything will be alright.
everything won't be alright. only thing that will happen is two people living in their own lies.
thank you.
there is only so much, in our society that is known between the boy and the girl. many secrets are withheld, and there is no such thing as opening your heart out before the marriage.
let us all examine our own families. can we not come up with atleast ONE secret which we are prone to hide from an intended sambandhi?
eventually it gets found out. and what should be the reaction? should it be, 'OK i got duped. but what to do? this is my fate. i have got to live with it' or find another way out of it.
these are white people. this colleague of mine, used to say, that the happiest day of his & his sister's life was the day when their mother and father separated.
all of a sudden, there was peace in the house. no more screaming. throwing of pots and pans. then the father & mother married someone else, and each is very happy.
this above is a simplistic example, but i hope to make a point here. sometimes, two people, are never meant to be together, and through circumstances become husband and wife, only to realize their utter incompatibility.
how can you mix oil and water?
so, point blank, condemning divorce, maybe we should analyze the root cause of such, and come up with guidelines so that this phenomenon can be reduced.
i do not believe same or inter caste marriage has anything to do with compatibility. marrying within caste, helps, as many of the values are the same. but marrying outside, also has its charms, and in a fair match, each is more anxious to accommodate and this is what love is all about.
how can parents, who arrange marriage, ever understand the concept of love. i do not mean love as portrayed in tamil movies. but serious getting to know each other, and that determination at some point after the relationship has matured, with an eagerness to share the rest of the life together.
parents whose motto is காதலாவது கத்திரிக்காய் are rather naive into thinking, that once married, everything will be alright.
everything won't be alright. only thing that will happen is two people living in their own lies.
thank you.
N
Nara
Guest
Dear Shri Pannvalan:
Greetings!
I asked you for the source for the above statistics twice. You have not responded to my request. So I think we have to take it as an unsubstantiated statement.
I hope there is only one kind of marriage, a love marriage, whether arranged or otherwise -- but that is asking for too much in any society.
Left to our own devices, the selfish genes in our bodies push us into making decisions that maximize the probability of producing children who are in turn well placed to produce children themselves. The blind love that youngsters feel result from these urges.
Men are attracted to physical beauty of women which the women have developed as a surrogate to indicate reproductive prowess.
For women, their reproductive success depends upon the ability of her mate to protect and provide for her. So they are less moved by physical attractiveness of a man, though that would be a definite plus, but more with high paying job and advanced education. The courage to go out and talk to girl is also attractive to her because that is an indicator of the man's ability to provide for her.
Arranged marriages interfere with these natural urges. The rules and regulations of a rigid and ordered society has kept the youngsters from rebelling too much. But these rules and regulations also act as genes do. Some have coined the word meme to study this theory. In TB community the rigid caste based arranged marriage meme, though quite strong even now, it is slowly but surely going extinct. That is just the way it is, it cannot be stopped just by wishing it away. More and more TB boys/girls and going to get hitched with more and more NB boys/girls. It is our duty to make sure we support our youngsters properly so that all of us can have joyful lives.
Cheers!
Greetings!
I asked you for the source for the above statistics twice. You have not responded to my request. So I think we have to take it as an unsubstantiated statement.
I hope there is only one kind of marriage, a love marriage, whether arranged or otherwise -- but that is asking for too much in any society.
Left to our own devices, the selfish genes in our bodies push us into making decisions that maximize the probability of producing children who are in turn well placed to produce children themselves. The blind love that youngsters feel result from these urges.
Men are attracted to physical beauty of women which the women have developed as a surrogate to indicate reproductive prowess.
For women, their reproductive success depends upon the ability of her mate to protect and provide for her. So they are less moved by physical attractiveness of a man, though that would be a definite plus, but more with high paying job and advanced education. The courage to go out and talk to girl is also attractive to her because that is an indicator of the man's ability to provide for her.
Arranged marriages interfere with these natural urges. The rules and regulations of a rigid and ordered society has kept the youngsters from rebelling too much. But these rules and regulations also act as genes do. Some have coined the word meme to study this theory. In TB community the rigid caste based arranged marriage meme, though quite strong even now, it is slowly but surely going extinct. That is just the way it is, it cannot be stopped just by wishing it away. More and more TB boys/girls and going to get hitched with more and more NB boys/girls. It is our duty to make sure we support our youngsters properly so that all of us can have joyful lives.
Cheers!
N
Nara
Guest
This is a sincere question, which university offers these degrees? Do we really have M.A. and Ph.D. courses in Astrology?
Cheers!
RVR
0
When BJP Government was in power, it gave permission for the universities to start courses on Astrology. Now several universities in India offer courses in Astrology.
All the best
That's precisely why i do not think matching horoscopes before marriage helps create a successful marriage. Atleast it does not provide that 100 % certainity that it will result in a happy marriage.
3 ppl i know were married based on horoscopes, meaning, they were married off to people with whom they got the best horoscope match.
Despite the so-called 7/10, 8/10 and 9/10 match, with all sorts of more detailed predictions and matching based on 36 points and so on, none of the marriages turned out happy.
Couples put on this great farce of being 'a happy family', just for the sake of the world. Their lives are filled with loneliness and incompatibility within.
In one case, the husband and wife preferred to stay away from each other, in different cities, citing the excuse of their jobs, but did not legally divorce, just bcoz they were afraid that no one wud marry their children if they divorced.
There is someone called God above all else. Like all predictive sciences, astrology too has its own limits.
There are only a few rare ppl who go for arranged marriages these days. In such cases too, they ask their parents to give them time. They take a few months to talk to the prospective bride or groom, to get a feel of how things might turn out.
They agree to the wedding only if they feel that the relationship can turn out well. Otherwise, more and more folk prefer to remain unmarried these days, rather than marry just for the sake of marrying...
And then there is also something called an arranged marriage but an intercaste one. Though i reckon it was not common in the past, it seems to have become common now. Its similar to those young folk putting 'caste no bar' in their wedding advertisements.
This usually seems to happen when one is not able to get a good match from within their caste, so they look outside. For that wider reach and better choice. Infact they can come across as ppl not willing to compromise on their preferences and expectations, and those that are willing to give caste a miss if their expecations can be met with elsewhere. And they always seem to select based on their pre-expected criteria..
The best marriages, naturally, are those that start off on an honest note.
Yet, in this whole medley called fate, marriage somehow is like a lottery ticket. No matter how carefully one selects. Man proposes, takes all care, but finally God disposes.
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happy,
i agree with you. i have always felt that marriage is a lotttery.
we have to be extremely grateful, if ours turns out to be a happy one. because, there is no reason for its success, as much as if it had failed.
there are several models towards the end product that is marriage.
the one, that is officially blessed in this forum, is the traditional one ie relationships between families initiated through horoscope matching. the next step would be, i guess, would be the discussion, again among the parents, about each others' status, salaries of the boy girl, place of domicile and family compatibility.
not the prime deciding factor is family compatibility, as this operates still under the old paradigm that tamil hindu weddings are between two families, and it is only incidental that the boy girl are married to seal this process.
the boy girl bajji sojji meeting is the icing on the cake. at this point, so much work has been done, that it is an effort on the part of the boy or the girl to refuse. this was easier done in the bygone days, when the number of brides and grooms were dime a dozen. in these days of rationed brides, and over eager grooms, i am not so sure.
the love marriage route is another model. i do not know, that how much this model, places its practices based on what we see in the tollywood movies. there we see the hero sees the heroine. he tells her he loves her in the first scene, without even getting to know anything about her. it is all physical attraction.
there are members here who had love marriages. was it anything like this? are there members here, who fell in love, but fell out and did not marry. such stuff is common in the west. falling in love does not necessarily lead to marriage, as in the process of getting to know each other, fissiporous tendencies are detected, and most often, the parting is mutual and on good terms.
how do our romeos and juliets behave within the confines of tollywood love? an answer to this, would help us immensely to dig deeper into the title of this thread.
thank you.
i agree with you. i have always felt that marriage is a lotttery.
we have to be extremely grateful, if ours turns out to be a happy one. because, there is no reason for its success, as much as if it had failed.
there are several models towards the end product that is marriage.
the one, that is officially blessed in this forum, is the traditional one ie relationships between families initiated through horoscope matching. the next step would be, i guess, would be the discussion, again among the parents, about each others' status, salaries of the boy girl, place of domicile and family compatibility.
not the prime deciding factor is family compatibility, as this operates still under the old paradigm that tamil hindu weddings are between two families, and it is only incidental that the boy girl are married to seal this process.
the boy girl bajji sojji meeting is the icing on the cake. at this point, so much work has been done, that it is an effort on the part of the boy or the girl to refuse. this was easier done in the bygone days, when the number of brides and grooms were dime a dozen. in these days of rationed brides, and over eager grooms, i am not so sure.
the love marriage route is another model. i do not know, that how much this model, places its practices based on what we see in the tollywood movies. there we see the hero sees the heroine. he tells her he loves her in the first scene, without even getting to know anything about her. it is all physical attraction.
there are members here who had love marriages. was it anything like this? are there members here, who fell in love, but fell out and did not marry. such stuff is common in the west. falling in love does not necessarily lead to marriage, as in the process of getting to know each other, fissiporous tendencies are detected, and most often, the parting is mutual and on good terms.
how do our romeos and juliets behave within the confines of tollywood love? an answer to this, would help us immensely to dig deeper into the title of this thread.
thank you.
Nara,
What I said was based on my own observations, readings and verbal reports of several of my friends and acquaintances.
If you want, I can conduct a study and produce one report. But, that is not my aim.
Therefore, you can modify your sentence like this:
"It was an unsubstantiated fact and not a simple statement from me".
What I said was based on my own observations, readings and verbal reports of several of my friends and acquaintances.
If you want, I can conduct a study and produce one report. But, that is not my aim.
Therefore, you can modify your sentence like this:
"It was an unsubstantiated fact and not a simple statement from me".
N
Nara
Guest
Sorry Shri Pannvalan, there cannot be an unsubstantiated fact.
Conducting a rigorous research study takes a lot of time and effort. So, I am not suggesting you do that. But, if you had added a small caveat, "in my opinion" ahead of the statement there would not have been any confusion.
regards....
Unsubstantiated in the sense not substantiated by any research or a formal social study done by an academic, as you demand.
But, 'the fact' is very much substantiated by so many living examples, before our own eyes.
I still say, whatever I said was not my own opinion or expression.
If what you had seen in your life is totally different from what I had seen, heard or read, that's not my fault.
We may put this finding to vote, if you agree.
But, 'the fact' is very much substantiated by so many living examples, before our own eyes.
I still say, whatever I said was not my own opinion or expression.
If what you had seen in your life is totally different from what I had seen, heard or read, that's not my fault.
We may put this finding to vote, if you agree.
RVR
0
Prof Nara and Sri Pann
Let us not argue on the quantum too much.
Both of you may be correct in your geographical areas.
Please go through the following article
Divorce - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
India still has the lowest divorce rate of 1% followed by Sri Lanka at 1.5%.
As a country, let India keep atleast this record.
All the best
Let us not argue on the quantum too much.
Both of you may be correct in your geographical areas.
Please go through the following article
Divorce - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
India still has the lowest divorce rate of 1% followed by Sri Lanka at 1.5%.
As a country, let India keep atleast this record.
All the best
N
Nara
Guest
Sorry once again, facts such as the ones you reported are not established by majority vote. I won't be surprised if a majority here thinks this 20% 20% statistics you cited is valid. Shri Sharma specifically referenced this statistics and even called for an end to love marriage between B and NB.
However, the statistics I could find from reliable sources put the divorce rate at 1.1% in India. That was the reason for my interest. But if it was just a finding on your part from your personal observations, I have no quibble with that.
regards....
I don't think the success rate of love marriages is just 20%.
Whether a love marriage or an arranged marriage, divorces in india still seem rare; and comparatively lower than those of other countries.
It does not seem to matter how the couples got married, usually people in india tend to remain married and avoid divorce, esp to avoid social stigma i think. Wonder if there is any percentage to measure sufferage in arranged marriages, i mean in those traditional setups where the wife hardly has any say.
The younger generation is least bothered about social images, so such things have started changing now, esp in the recent times, abt a decade or so i think, changes have been rather rapid. From conservative suddenly the times moved to casual no strings attached relationships...
Kunjuppu ji's post on movie style love stories was so common in the past. Sometime, people fell in love for the sake of love..
In the past, holding hands was the biggest thing and wud lead to scandalized stories..ofcourse ppl eloped, but marriage was treated as a sacrament, a once in a lifetime affair, and there was a tinge of naive idealistic romance to all that..
These days kids seem to know how to differentiate b/w love and lust. No wonder i hear that IT places like call centres in bangalore have condom vending machines. Movie type love seems to be on the dwindling side, or so it seems in my observation. Kids are no longer kids. When it comes to ambitions and career goals, they seem to have their head firmly on their shoulders. They do not mind changing partners. And quite a chunk of them do not treat marriage as a sacrament...no wonder divorces are increasing amongst GenX..
Whether a love marriage or an arranged marriage, divorces in india still seem rare; and comparatively lower than those of other countries.
It does not seem to matter how the couples got married, usually people in india tend to remain married and avoid divorce, esp to avoid social stigma i think. Wonder if there is any percentage to measure sufferage in arranged marriages, i mean in those traditional setups where the wife hardly has any say.
The younger generation is least bothered about social images, so such things have started changing now, esp in the recent times, abt a decade or so i think, changes have been rather rapid. From conservative suddenly the times moved to casual no strings attached relationships...
Kunjuppu ji's post on movie style love stories was so common in the past. Sometime, people fell in love for the sake of love..
In the past, holding hands was the biggest thing and wud lead to scandalized stories..ofcourse ppl eloped, but marriage was treated as a sacrament, a once in a lifetime affair, and there was a tinge of naive idealistic romance to all that..
These days kids seem to know how to differentiate b/w love and lust. No wonder i hear that IT places like call centres in bangalore have condom vending machines. Movie type love seems to be on the dwindling side, or so it seems in my observation. Kids are no longer kids. When it comes to ambitions and career goals, they seem to have their head firmly on their shoulders. They do not mind changing partners. And quite a chunk of them do not treat marriage as a sacrament...no wonder divorces are increasing amongst GenX..
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N
Nara
Guest
Dear Shri Sharma,
I have no doubt you are a genuinely sincere person and you are helping a lot of people who want your services. I respect that.
However, I am unable to see any value in Astrology. Planets have gravitational effect and that is it. To think the planetary position at a given point in time will have differing effects on individuals based on the planetary position when they were born does not make any sense whatsoever.
It is unfortunate that a government in this day and age sponsors courses on this and facilitates its citizens to spend their energies mastering it, is a disservice.
Thank you.
RVR
0
Indian marriages in the past are mostly arranged. Even today, marriages are mostly arranged with some exceptions.
Divorce rate in India is the lowest in India with just 1%.
If the arranged marriages works better in India, why don't we continue the same practice.
We don't have to follow the western society at least when it comes to marriage.
Once I was listening to Bhagavath Geetha of swami Parthasarathi of vedandha institute.During one of his visits to USA, he jokingly told to some people there, `why don't you have a specific period contract period for marriage'. Pat came the reply, `good idea, we will consider it seriously
Let the western world follow their own practices.
All the best
Divorce rate in India is the lowest in India with just 1%.
If the arranged marriages works better in India, why don't we continue the same practice.
We don't have to follow the western society at least when it comes to marriage.
Once I was listening to Bhagavath Geetha of swami Parthasarathi of vedandha institute.During one of his visits to USA, he jokingly told to some people there, `why don't you have a specific period contract period for marriage'. Pat came the reply, `good idea, we will consider it seriously
Let the western world follow their own practices.
All the best
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C RAVI
0
Sri RVR ji,
In my opinion, you are perfect in your conclusion-
---------------------------
"If arranged marriages works better in India, why don't we continue the same practice"
---------------------------
In western countries, especially in America and Canada as long as I could come to know through many of my clients, the human life’s are not based on culture and emotions.
We should accept the fact that they respect relationship and believe in God. But their life decisions are not based on other's compulsion in general. I don't want myself to point out as whether it is correct or wrong.
In these countries girls and boys indulge in sex right from their teenage. Majority of them don't carry any sense of morality and is just a part of life as long as a boy and girl mutually agrees to have intercourse. Parents are no way a hindrance for all these.
Marriage is a private part of life of these girls and boys. If a boy and a girl decides to marry, than parents are not of any consideration. Both of their families need not be necessarily united for this.
I have read many articles where husbands decides to divorce citing the reason that wife is not sexually active and vice versa.
If there exists any rifts between husband and wife, the prime reason would be their sexual disagreements. And most importantly extra marital affairs.
They mutually get divorced concluding to be just good friends ever and easly get remarried.
If these separated couple happen to meet each other as good friends, with their new spouse and new children, would say that - "Unnodia Kozhandaigalun, Ennodiya Kozhandaigalum; Nambalodiya kozhandaigaludan Natpu udun pazhagrargal"
In India sex is not a plaything. It's divine and meant only in a legal way. This is applicable to all the families in a society who all are living a descent life. There is no need to think about few people who don't have moralities. Exception always exists.
In our social culture, girls and boys are not encouraged/allowed to indulge in sex before marriage. In fact they were been thought of discipline and moralities. It was only after AIDS epidemic broke out, people were advised to use protections and have safe games by way of much open and elaborate campaigns. Around 8 years before, in one of the magazines I found a picture of a kid blowing the condom, thinking it a balloon.
In Indian society marriages bring not only a boy and girl together but their families as well. In present scenario girls and boys have been provided liberty by their parents to make their own partner selection, Off course within the scope of social setup. This not only help in happy and healthy family setup but a healthy social setup as well.
Inter-cast marriages can only be exceptional. It can be based on purely unexpected True Love. It should not be the motive of today’s Brahmin boys and girls to get rid of Shaasthram, Sampradayam & Kalacharam and to escape from Brahmin bashing. And consider themselves in par with well developed and matured Americans having broad mentality and wider life perspectives with much practical approach that can guarantee one’s liberty in every part of life and for everything.
"Contract period for marriage " may be a good idea. But children born during that contract period would be on receiving end. They would be suffering and would gain many wrong perceptions of life. Ultimately we would end up with lots of future generation children having psychic problems, becoming rapist and serial killers (may be than indulging in randomly firing on innocent people in schools and colleges). This way I believe we would be in par with much appreciated American Social setup.
Do we really require American social setup in India???
Respectable members,
when I was reading Chi. Ravi's posting, few questions came to my mind. I am not asking these questions at anyone in particular.
1. What is the connection between pre-marital sex and morality? I am not asking about excessive cases here. This is a very general question (lot of westeners connect pre-marital sex to morality too).
2. Why only women are expected to protect their chastity (karpu) so much so that, in a lot of instances the female victim of an assult involving rape decides to choose between facing the society or committing suicide; why the society is more cruel than death towards the female victims of rape?
Thank you.
when I was reading Chi. Ravi's posting, few questions came to my mind. I am not asking these questions at anyone in particular.
1. What is the connection between pre-marital sex and morality? I am not asking about excessive cases here. This is a very general question (lot of westeners connect pre-marital sex to morality too).
2. Why only women are expected to protect their chastity (karpu) so much so that, in a lot of instances the female victim of an assult involving rape decides to choose between facing the society or committing suicide; why the society is more cruel than death towards the female victims of rape?
Thank you.
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Sir,
Fine . There may not be any causal connection between pre-marital sex and morality. But What about the responsibility and consequences of such relationships? Venkat
Fine . There may not be any causal connection between pre-marital sex and morality. But What about the responsibility and consequences of such relationships? Venkat
Sri. Venkat asked:- (in connection to pre-marital sex and morality)
"What about the responsibility and consequences of such relationships?"
The youngsters who try sex due to harmonal overdrive belong to our society too. Why our society is not taking the responsibility for the consequences? the society wants to run away from a simple resposibility so much so that, society is prepared to become more cruel than death, that too untimely death for an active and cheerful young female.
"What about the responsibility and consequences of such relationships?"
The youngsters who try sex due to harmonal overdrive belong to our society too. Why our society is not taking the responsibility for the consequences? the society wants to run away from a simple resposibility so much so that, society is prepared to become more cruel than death, that too untimely death for an active and cheerful young female.
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