Mr. Kunjuppu has amply explained the status of our people in Canada, by highlighting the practical/actual occurances over a few decades. One major factor as is accepted by all of us is that Brahmin girls are in short supply. Therefore lot of arguments / counter arguments cannot be ignored, since not only parents of girls seem to go by the ultimate wish which includes marriages of other NB in India but various castes/ Religions are also started happening. But the fact remains that majority of the parents of both Boys & girls will not be very happy in such marriages for the simple reason that they cannot be freely mix with one & all , but only do lip-service to their respective alliance parents.
We ultimately start praising the Groom as though he is the best & as though such a Boy could no have been procured ,in our own community?
I have practically observed & vouch safe that the Brahmin ladies will be the first to rebuke the Girl for choosing out side the caste & community & finding that her words are not cared for by her own daughters they ( shamelessly ) ( excuse me if I have used a harsh word ) make a U turn or round about & proceed to proclaim that she got the Best of the world. Alas ,,,---The so--called,her husband , will also be at the receiving end , in all such embarassing situations either will not be in the fore=front or will be seen as a part of decision. He may even be out cast from his own kith/kin. Such deterioration is bound to grow & the youngsters will not regret & move on ---After all for how many more years the parents are going to live Out of sight/ out of mind The newly wedded enjoy the western life, beget child of that country & become citizens, However, most parents do visit their daughters in U,S, till they become unfit for travel & by the time the grand children,grow-up & with no chances of visiting either by parents or by the daughters/ grand children & slowly forget the roots. A new generation of Indian American Families would come to be reckoned as such be U.S Asian & may even fetch an AWARD for the Mix- Marriage ?
A.Srinivasan
dear srinivasan,
it can be frightening to think of the future based on what we know currently, and fear that the trends will ultimately result in a further decimated community. i have similar fears, though not necessarily of the same classification as yours, but similar.
and then i think, where i am and what i do. would not my great grandfather, be upset at some of the things i do. can he relate to my lifestyle, place where i live and my moral standards, ethical stances, and view of the caste system?
i dont think, even my father could influence me, in some of the key decisions that i made in life. and i expect it to be the same vis a vis, re my children and myself. so what do we do?
we cannot certainly go back to live in the agraharams of tamil nadu or palghat. our community has not had this love of the land strong enough, that wherever we go to seek out our fortunes, we keep one foot in our village, and continue to invest there and further more, retire.
our habit has been, that there has been a permanence to our departure from our native village or town. there are a few, driven by pangs of conscience, at the sight of the dilapidated kudumba deity, gather funds to do a kumbabishekam. but this is a one time affair, and soon after that, every one moves back to their place of choice, whether it be chennai, mumbai, dubai or usa.
maybe the smart thing is not to think too much. let life move, and let us move slide along with the flow. after all, fears build phantoms, which are more frightful than the original fear itself. n'est pas?
keep peace.
