My Experiences in a Retirement Community

[V.Balasubramani]

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Big hope.lol

Such opinions are considered nothing but a knee jerk response of small minds. lol

There may be better retirement homes proving to be a 'paradise on earth' for inmates.

Let us explore positively.

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

The retirement community I am staying in is one of the best in terms of food and stay. But there are drawbacks. Medical facilities are lacking though they have an arrangement with a nearby hospital. They have a van for taking the residents to the hospital in case of Emergency. They have not got a Swimming Pool or other recreational facilities promises in their web site. This community is not one of the posh ones where you have a number of recreational facilities.

Most people prefer to come and stay for some time and then decide. Trial stay is very common. Even when they are satisfied with the trial stay people prefer short term arrangements like a short term lease before deciding on a permanent basis.

 

[renuka]

The retirement community I am staying in is one of the best in terms of food and stay. But there are drawbacks. Medical facilities are lacking though they have an arrangement with a nearby hospital. They have a van for taking the residents to the hospital in case of Emergency. They have not got a Swimming Pool or other recreational facilities promises in their web site. This community is not one of the posh ones where you have a number of recreational facilities.

Most people prefer to come and stay for some time and then decide. Trial stay is very common. Even when they are satisfied with the trial stay people prefer short term arrangements like a short term lease before deciding on a permanent basis.

dear Nachi sir,

But wont it be less mentally stimulating to be staying with only the aged and cut off from all others?

In a normal society we meet people of all ages from children the aged and anyone else in between..so we are exposed to different mental atmospheres ..but when every old person is housed under the same roof that somehow seems depressing and it is just like a prison for the elderly...segregated from the rest of the world.

I hope my opinion does not sound harsh but it just makes me wonder why a retirement home needs to exists in the first place.

 

[renuka]

Such opinions are considered nothing but a knee jerk response of small minds. lol

There may be better retirement homes proving to be a 'paradise on earth' for inmates.

Let us explore positively.

Dear Bala sir,

I have no idea how positive can any outcome be.

Paradise on earth does not really exists..I think retirement homes may just be the Neo-Alcatraz.

 

[krish44]

dear Nachi sir,

But wont it be less mentally stimulating to be staying with only the aged and cut off from all others?

In a normal society we meet people of all ages from children the aged and anyone else in between..so we are exposed to different mental atmospheres ..but when every old person is housed under the same roof that somehow seems depressing and it is just like a prison for the elderly...segregated from the rest of the world.

I hope my opinion does not sound harsh but it just makes me wonder why a retirement home needs to exists in the first place.

segregation on basis of age is a symptom of a deeply divisive society where some are kept

separately from others on the basis of age alone as the criterion. it is not a healthy sign.

it can be compared to apartheid where some were discriminated againston the basis of skin colour.

that our community senior citizens have to face this prospect is very painful

if this is the price of economic development and young ladies sharing work space with men

is such development worth anything.

our community elders have to think about the consequences of encouraging the young married

working ladies to push out the senior citizen in laws into such places.

I feel very strongly about this and would not like any senior citizen to face this in old age

 

[V.Balasubramani]

Dear Bala sir,

I have no idea how positive can any outcome be.

Paradise on earth does not really exists..I think retirement homes may just be the Neo-Alcatraz.

Doctor Mam,

The earth we live in itself is a paradise and it is the mind-set of practicing liberation that matters.

I just reproduce below one of the messages I do receive everyday from a Sai Seva friend.



THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

OUR MOST BELOVED BHAGAWAN’S DIVINE MESSAGE

Liberation is attained when the Soul shines in its own divinity.

Liberation is not a nation or a suburb in paradise where

aristocratic residents secure good sites. Liberation is the

condition of one who has shed delusion. Shed delusion, then

grief will be destroyed and joy established. Removal of Grief

(Dukha-Nivrithi) and Attainment of Bliss (Ananda-Prapthi),

happen at the same time. Your mind is the villain, its other

name is desire! When you pull out all the yarn from a piece of

cloth, there is no cloth. So too, pull out all the desires from the

mind; the mind disappears and you attain freedom! Grief and

joy are the obverse and reverse of the same experience. Joy is

when grief ends, grief is when joy ends. Just as you must set the

table for two when you invite a blind person for dinner (the

blind person and his/her companion), so too, grief and joy are inseparable.(Divine Discourse,

Aug 18, 1964)



And since you are well versed in sanskrit, the following Gayathri mantra requires no explanation.

Om Bhuur-Bhuvah Svah
Tat-Savitur-Varennyam |
Bhargo Devasya Dhiimahi
Dhiyo Yo Nah Pracodayaat ||

 

[renuka]

I feel very strongly about this and would not like any senior citizen to face this in old age

I agree with you...in fact reading about retirement homes makes one depressed.

It is fine if the inmates chose to live there becos they want to be on their own but if they landed there becos no one wanted to look after them...then its sad.

 

[renuka]

Doctor Mam,

The earth we live in itself is a paradise and it is the mind-set of practicing liberation that matters.

I just reproduce below one of the messages I do receive everyday from a Sai Seva friend.



THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

OUR MOST BELOVED BHAGAWAN’S DIVINE MESSAGE

Liberation is attained when the Soul shines in its own divinity.

Liberation is not a nation or a suburb in paradise where

aristocratic residents secure good sites. Liberation is the

condition of one who has shed delusion. Shed delusion, then

grief will be destroyed and joy established. Removal of Grief

(Dukha-Nivrithi) and Attainment of Bliss (Ananda-Prapthi),

happen at the same time. Your mind is the villain, its other

name is desire! When you pull out all the yarn from a piece of

cloth, there is no cloth. So too, pull out all the desires from the

mind; the mind disappears and you attain freedom! Grief and

joy are the obverse and reverse of the same experience. Joy is

when grief ends, grief is when joy ends. Just as you must set the

table for two when you invite a blind person for dinner (the

blind person and his/her companion), so too, grief and joy are inseparable.(Divine Discourse,

Aug 18, 1964)



And since you are well versed in sanskrit, the following Gayathri mantra requires no explanation.

Om Bhuur-Bhuvah Svah
Tat-Savitur-Varennyam |
Bhargo Devasya Dhiimahi
Dhiyo Yo Nah Pracodayaat ||

dear Bala sir,

I wonder how this message is connected to the topic?

I agree that desire is the root cause of pleasure and also pain but the fact remains that segregating senior citizens from the rest of the world seems totally unhealthy in my opinion.

 

[Vanaja Mani]

From what little knowledge that I have accumulated, I find the old age people who are forced to go to these homes are ones who did not take the time and effort to cultivate a good relationship with daughters-in-law and/or their own children.

Of course the parents of NRIs whether or not they had good relationships have no other choice but to avail of such facility as their kids will never be able to look after them. The minority of these parents who have moved overseas with their kids are in most cases, living miserably as they have been taken away from familiar culture and surroundings at the fag end of their lives.

 

[renuka]

This thread does make you think of the future.For me I know I value my privacy and I know I wont like to stay in a retirement home and neither will I be willing to stay with a married child who has his own family to run.

At an old age its not easy to learn to adapt to a new environment.So staying with DIL is not going to be easy especially since I never had a sister and neither do I have a daughter..so no experience with living with females besides my mum!LOL

The only female I can "handle" is my mum that too we are as different as night and day!LOL

So what are the options? I keep looking after my health to prevent preventable diseases but what lies in the future I dont know cos I cant prevent everything.

So as long I can stay healthy I rather be on my own.

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

The pros and cons of Retirement communities have been discussed on many occasions in this forum. I started this thread NOT To bring back old arguments, but to present my experiences.

One of the reasons for going to a retirement community is the inability to carry on alone. We stayed alone for more than 10 years before looking out for a retirement community. For the last 5 years we had someone bring food for us. My wife was cooking only Breakfast and dinner. But even this was difficult. I found it difficult to do the shopping for provision, vegetables etc.

We are happy to be in the Retirement Community. My children are also happy. My daughters in law helped us to setup our house. My children are in India.

 

[P.J.]

Of course the parents of NRIs whether or not they had good relationships have no other choice but to avail of such facility as their kids will never be able to look after them. The minority of these parents who have moved overseas with their kids are in most cases, living miserably as they have been taken away from familiar culture and surroundings at the fag end of their lives.

Many Aged brahmin couples are in this situation; as the cost of medical care is huge in any foreign country , they have no other option to live
and manage themselves alone as long as their health permits; once one of them depart, things become really bad for the surviving partner.

Widowed women can manage and adjust with some relatives, but men find it very hard.

only option for such men is to move to an old age home!!

 

[V.Balasubramani]

dear Bala sir,

I wonder how this message is connected to the topic?

I agree that desire is the root cause of pleasure and also pain but the fact remains that segregating senior citizens from the rest of the world seems totally unhealthy in my opinion.

Doctor Mam,

In your version it is segregating.

But there are sections, who are like-minded-Senior Citizens willingly coming together and love to live in a friendly environment by sharing their thoughts, helping the needy, etc etc.

 

[V.Balasubramani]

We are happy to be in the Retirement Community. My children are also happy. My daughters in law helped us to setup our house. My children are in India.

Sir,

You are blessed. Have a nice time and enjoy your stay.

Regards

 

[Raji Ram]

.......our community elders have to think about the consequences of encouraging the young married

working ladies to push out the senior citizen in laws into such places.

I feel very strongly about this and would not like any senior citizen to face this in old age

Dear Krish Sir,

The elderly people are NOT pushed to senior resorts by the working daughters in law, always! The problem arises when the

elderly people have their child / children far away in India or abroad! When they are unable to tackle the daily chores, even

with the help of maids, they seek the resorts thinking of hassle free life. If a person who is not interested in orthodox life is

living among those who are very orthodox, then he will feel like fish out of water, for sure! Those who are very orthodox won't

be happy among people who are not orthodox. There are many types of resorts and one has to be very careful in choosing the

right kind of environment. If the right environment is chosen and is affordable with their own savings / with assistance from

the children, the elderly persons will be happy!

P.S: For example, I can't tolerate the group of mAmis who brag in Hindi all the time! :blah:

 

[Raji Ram]

Nachi Sir has chosen a right environment and is happy in the senior resort.

Let us all wish him and his wife a very comfortable and nice stay there!

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Renu,

Now the minimum age to go to some senior resorts is only 55!

So, all the persons moving around will not be very old.

The inmates also keep in touch with their loved ones by regular Skype chats / WhatsApp. :thumb:

 

[krish44]

Dear Krish Sir,

The elderly people are NOT pushed to senior resorts by the working daughters in law, always! The problem arises when the

elderly people have their child / children far away in India or abroad! When they are unable to tackle the daily chores, even

with the help of maids, they seek the resorts thinking of hassle free life. If a person who is not interested in orthodox life is

living among those who are very orthodox, then he will feel like fish out of water, for sure! Those who are very orthodox won't

be happy among people who are not orthodox. There are many types of resorts and one has to be very careful in choosing the

right kind of environment. If the right environment is chosen and is affordable with their own savings / with assistance from

the children, the elderly persons will be happy!

P.S: For example, I can't tolerate the group of mAmis who brag in Hindi all the time! :blah:

Rajiramji

I am unable to agree that old age homes is the way senior citizen should live .

nor I am in favour of children in creches or looked after by servants.

living styles of seniors[orthodox etc] or distance[ child working abroad] are excuses for not staying

together as a family.

these society should not approve off and exended families can play a role to keep parents and

childen together for the good of both . these types of families can be a lot of nuisance for relatives

and extended families. we have strict rules in our famiily discouraging break up of families

 

[kunjuppu]

The pros and cons of Retirement communities have been discussed on many occasions in this forum. I started this thread NOT To bring back old arguments, but to present my experiences.

One of the reasons for going to a retirement community is the inability to carry on alone. We stayed alone for more than 10 years before looking out for a retirement community. For the last 5 years we had someone bring food for us. My wife was cooking only Breakfast and dinner. But even this was difficult. I found it difficult to do the shopping for provision, vegetables etc.

We are happy to be in the Retirement Community. My children are also happy. My daughters in law helped us to setup our house. My children are in India.

thank you nacchi. hope to hear more from you re your day to day experience and some interesting events concerning your fellow retirees. anecdotes and such... thank you.

 

[kunjuppu]

.. and further to my last post..let us respect nacchi's reminder note, re not to regurgitate the pros and cons of a retirement community. those that wish to do that, can open another thread. this is for nacchi's experience, and our feedback & queries, that he may or may not wish to answer.

 

[prasad1]

I second Kji's and Nachiji's views on this thread. Let members post their experiences of retirement homes.

I have a question about the definition of Retirement home used in this thread.
Quality of life? How much tariff/month? Who is it meant for? What level of assistance is provided?
I would not include old-age home run as a charity.

 

[tbs]

hi

just listen some nice and bad experiments in retirement community from nachi sir....i think ....smoking is not allowed in

retirement communities....so nacchi sir became a NON SMOKER...LOL

 

[Nacchinarkiniyan]

Another important aspect of Retirement communities is Social Contact. Once you are retired you lose touch with colleagues. I remember that in the place where I was staying previously, the older people used to get together in a Mediacl Shop which was run by one of their sons. We use to chitchat, discuss local politics and talk in general.

Now in the Retirement Community that is not a problem. I meet a number of people when I go for a morning walk and talk to them. Then again you meet them during breakfast, lunch, tea or Dinner.

Getting older and retirement both involve a change in lifestyle for most people and it’s important to take care of yourself mentally as well as physically.

Depression is a common problem in older adults. The symptoms of depression affect every aspect of your life, including your energy, appetite, sleep, and interest in work, hobbies, and relationships.

As you grow older, you face significant life changes that can put you at risk for depression.

Causes and risk factors that contribute to depression in older adults and the elderly include:

• Health problems – Illness and disability; chronic or severe pain; cognitive decline; damage to body image due to surgery or disease.
• Loneliness and isolation – Living alone; a dwindling social circle due to deaths or relocation; decreased mobility due to illness or loss of driving privileges.
• Reduced sense of purpose – Feelings of purposelessness or loss of identity due to retirement or physical limitations on activities.
• Fears – Fear of death or dying; anxiety over financial problems or health issues.
• Recent bereavements – The death of friends, family members, and pets; the loss of a spouse or partner.

If you’re in good mental health,
you can:
– Make the most of your potential.
– Cope better with life which may change as we become older, such as being a carer for a loved one
– Play a full part in our life with our family, friends and community

In the retirement Community you meet people with the same kind of problems. For example my community has a couple of people who have undergone Knee replacement Surgery. My wife wanted to have a Knee Replacement surgery. We have learnt a lot from the other residents. The same case with all kinds of surgery like Cataract.

 

[renuka]

I have a question here...its might sound a bit weird..but with some many new faces in a retirement home..has any husband or wife there left their current spouse for a new inmate?

I am not kidding...people could fall in love anytime.

I wonder if any such cases actually happened? How will that be addressed by the management?

 

[Naina_Marbus]

I have a question here...its might sound a bit weird..but with some many new faces in a retirement home..has any husband or wife there left their current spouse for a new inmate?

I am not kidding...people could fall in love anytime.

I wonder if any such cases actually happened? How will that be addressed by the management?

Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be

<span style="font-family: &quot">[video=youtube;xZbKHDPPrrc]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZbKHDPPrrc[/video]