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Marraige Into an Orthodox Family

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Daksha Kumar said:
Now that I am completely "MAAMIFIED" just wondering that if I should continue posting my experience so far to this thread or open a new one what do the members suggest.

Willing to answer to my best if members want to know something
Click to expand...

mAmI returns!LOL

Hey Daksha...may be you can open a thread in chit chat section and you can share your experiences with all of us.

Its nice to see you brimming with happiness of being in love..married to be person you loved...not many intercaste lovvu marriages are so well accepted by both groom and brides side.
That way you are fortunate.
 
Daksha Kumar said:
For example if one person makes a lot of changes for the marriage I think the relationship will be strong from the start, like in my circumstances I made a lot of changes to my self , so By doing that I have become very attached and the our bond has been tested from my side it has been proven to be strong.

Also from his side he has that feeling about me that I have given up so much to be with him, so that creates a lot of bond and understanding between us.
Click to expand...

Yes..you have made a lot of changes for him..in a way that should make you both closer cos he would feel there is some common grounds for you to bond even further.

May be one can adapt and change without actually losing one's true nature.

You do seem like a loving girl...so learn all new dishes from your MIL.

When I got married I observed what MIL cooked so that I could cook for husband what he liked and also introduced what I was used to eating.
 
Daksha Kumar said:
I would not say there needs to be a vacuum in a marriege for there to build a strong relationship. ............
Click to expand...
The vacuum might happen, if the girl gets homesick!! ;)

Is she understands her new commitments in life, then the vacuum will surely disappear. But as Vaagmi Sir says, this can't be

generalized. I never felt homesick because, I lived in a township where my sister also lived with her hubby and two lovely kids.

In fact, she strongly recommended Ram, after seeing his good nature! OH! malarum ninaivugaL!! :lol:
 
Raji Ram said:
The vacuum might happen, if the girl gets homesick!! ;)

Is she understands her new commitments in life, then the vacuum will surely disappear. But as Vaagmi Sir says, this can't be

generalized. I never felt homesick because, I lived in a township where my sister also lived with her hubby and two lovely kids.

In fact, she strongly recommended Ram, after seeing his good nature! OH! malarum ninaivugaL!! :lol:
Click to expand...

Dear RR ji,

I remember on my wedding day my mum was crying a little.

I told her "hey why are you crying..I am still alive!"

I never felt any vacuum cos I was posted far away from home and also stayed alone for a few months after marriage cos of working in a different state.

Then I resigned after a while and joined private sector to be with husband.

Msia is so small a country...so no need of vacuum feeling...but overall I feel I had more freedom being married than staying with parents!LOL
 
tbs said:
.. may be touching the feet of "girl" for METTI...may be first and last for men too...
Click to expand...
:thumb:

The bride's mAmi is the one who wears the metti on the bride's toes, in Iyer marriages. :)

Groom touches the bride's right foot (big toe) only during saptapadi, the famous seven steps!
icon3.png
 
renuka said:
mAmI returns!LOL

Hey Daksha...may be you can open a thread in chit chat section and you can share your experiences with all of us.

Its nice to see you brimming with happiness of being in love..married to be person you loved...not many intercaste lovvu marriages are so well accepted by both groom and brides side.
That way you are fortunate.
Click to expand...

Yes I will open a new thread, but I would want to know what type of info to include and what would make interesting reading for members.

I am indeed very happy and thanks for your concern.

I gave up a lot and adopted new things so that I could have a fulfilling life with my loved one and It has been the best for us both
 
Daksha Kumar said:
Yes I will open a new thread, but I would want to know what type of info to include and what would make interesting reading for members.

I am indeed very happy and thanks for your concern.

I gave up a lot and adopted new things so that I could have a fulfilling life with my loved one and It has been the best for us both
Click to expand...

Just start one thread....members would flock there esp the male members who would be hoping for some post marriage girl talk.

But sadly they wont be getting any such info!LOL

You can share about the new experiences into an orthodox family..new lifestyle etc..just share what you like.
 
renuka said:
Yes..you have made a lot of changes for him..in a way that should make you both closer cos he would feel there is some common grounds for you to bond even further.

May be one can adapt and change without actually losing one's true nature.

You do seem like a loving girl...so learn all new dishes from your MIL.

When I got married I observed what MIL cooked so that I could cook for husband what he liked and also introduced what I was used to eating.
Click to expand...

I wouldn't say we had common grounds before and that's why we fell in love to each other and the adjustment came after.

I won't say I have lost my nature it's my appearance that has changed completely.

But my new way of dressing does make me a bit unrecognisable. If you take my face for example before I just put a small black sticker pottu and small plastic studs which is fashionable these days.

But now I put a larger kumkumam on my forehead, have two mookuthis on both noses both are around 1cm in width , and 2 large Vaira Thodu on my ears around 1.25 cm in width.

So that's where the change comes, so this hardly makes any difference to my personality. I talk & laugh the same way I did before, I treat people the same way as before
I respect everyone as before so I am whom I am.??
 
Raji Ram said:
The vacuum might happen, if the girl gets homesick!! ;)

Is she understands her new commitments in life, then the vacuum will surely disappear. But as Vaagmi Sir says, this can't be

generalized. I never felt homesick because, I lived in a township where my sister also lived with her hubby and two lovely kids.

In fact, she strongly recommended Ram, after seeing his good nature! OH! malarum ninaivugaL!! :lol:
Click to expand...

Malarum ninaivugal are always beautiful!!!!??

I do understand my new commitments

I would say that the fact I agreed to change my self so much is indeed is a sign that I have accepted the new commitments.

But who knows what life has in form of challenges, I am confident that I can face them ????

At the moment one of the biggest challenges is going out with everyone giving me a glare and looking at me!!

Another challenge is trying to prove that I can follow all the principals a married Brahmin lady should.

I hope I will archive it ??
 
Daksha Kumar said:
I wouldn't say we had common grounds before and that's why we fell in love to each other and the adjustment came after.

I won't say I have lost my nature it's my appearance that has changed completely.


I respect everyone as before so I am whom I am.
Click to expand...

Dear Daksha,

There is always some common grounds for people to fall in love even though both could be from different communities or even different religions for that matter.

Surely some amount of mental compatibility is there to hold on to the interest...that eventually leads to LOVVU!

Even though you do say you have made changes and adapted but at times I get slightly mixed signals with regards to your response..that is I see a person who has made changes out of love but yet there is something about you I can not decipher.

You are an interesting person ..that much I can say.

Please start a thread in Chit Chat section..Raji Madam and I would surely chat with you and as usual whenever RR ji and I enter a thread..then everyone else follows!LOL
 
renuka said:
Dear Daksha,

There is always some common grounds for people to fall in love even though both could be from different communities or even different religions for that matter.

Surely some amount of mental compatibility is there to hold on to the interest...that eventually leads to LOVVU!

Even though you do say you have made changes and adapted but at times I get slightly mixed signals with regards to your response..that is I see a person who has made changes out of love but yet there is something about you I can not decipher.

You are an interesting person ..that much I can say.

Please start a thread in Chit Chat section..Raji Madam and I would surely chat with you and as usual whenever RR ji and I enter a thread..then everyone else follows!LOL
Click to expand...
hi

we have durga and lakshmi in our forum....we need saraswati too...so renu/RR madam/daksha together as tridevis...
 
RR ji should be Saraswati cos she is into Carnatic Music .

I am not too fond of Lakshmi somehow.
 
renuka said:
Dear Daksha,

There is always some common grounds for people to fall in love even though both could be from different communities or even different religions for that matter.

Surely some amount of mental compatibility is there to hold on to the interest...that eventually leads to LOVVU!

Even though you do say you have made changes and adapted but at times I get slightly mixed signals with regards to your response..that is I see a person who has made changes out of love but yet there is something about you I can not decipher.

You are an interesting person ..that much I can say.

Please start a thread in Chit Chat section..Raji Madam and I would surely chat with you and as usual whenever RR ji and I enter a thread..then everyone else follows!LOL
Click to expand...

Yes , I will of course but would be helpful what aspects would the members like so I also could share

Typing is not that easy these days being in 9 yards length of saree, find it a bit difficult to type so might take a couple of days ??
 
Basically how are you coping with the duties related to cooking -brahmin cuisine, observing brahmin rituals, consuming brahmin vegetatarian food without onions,garlic .

Have you thought about simplifying dress to wear madisar with saree of shorter length -RRji is good at advising you on that.?

You might become homesick....Take care. Best wishes
 
krish44 said:
Basically how are you coping with the duties related to cooking -brahmin cuisine, observing brahmin rituals, consuming brahmin vegetatarian food without onions,garlic .

Have you thought about simplifying dress to wear madisar with saree of shorter length -RRji is good at advising you on that.?

You might become homesick....Take care. Best wishes
Click to expand...
hi

its called LOVVU....love makes everything possible...it make impossible to possible....the power of REAL LOVVU...
 
Dear Renu,

I think this thread can continue as it is because it is in Sociology forum and Daksha is sharing her experiences
in her mAmified life! If a new thread goes to chit chat, it might become less serious! Just a thought. :decision:
 
Dear Krish Sir,

I wonder whether Daksha's family will 'agree' to my new invention of making madisAr saree with six yards! :)

Though my sisters in law make fun of me, I have made four easy madisArs and use them according to the occasion.

Tomorrow is sumangali prArthanai in my extended family and I have dried a silk madi madisAr saree, a few minutes back! :cool:
 
Raji Ram said:
Dear Renu,

I am sure you know to whom TBS Sir points out ( in order)!! :lol:

BTW, I am more of Saraswathi than Lakshmi because I play the veena and spread Carnatic music! ;)
Click to expand...

Dear RR ji...yes..I know he is hinting I am DurgaLOL

May be I should transform into Bhadra Kali.

I did write that you are Saraswati cos you know Carnatic Music which includes the Veena.

For me..am I really a Durga?
Well..I play 3 musical instruments..Piano..Recorder and Harmonica..I like reading religious text..crazy to acquire knowledge..a polyglot.

So where do I fit in?..

I am not into Lakshmi but neither am I as serene as Saraswati..neither am I as powerful as Durga ..confusingLOL
 
Raji Ram said:
:thumb:

The bride's mAmi is the one who wears the metti on the bride's toes, in Iyer marriages. :)

Groom touches the bride's right foot (big toe) only during saptapadi, the famous seven steps!
icon3.png
Click to expand...

That's what I was wondering aswell my hubby never touched my feet apart from moving my legs during saptapadi.

But when I did go on my knees to do my namaskaram I did hear one lady tell make sure that I touch his feet with my hands
???
 
Raji Ram said:
Dear Renu,

I think this thread can continue as it is because it is in Sociology forum and Daksha is sharing her experiences
in her mAmified life! If a new thread goes to chit chat, it might become less serious! Just a thought. :decision:
Click to expand...

That's what I was thinking aswell!!!

But anyway if members can point out specific interests, I am more than willing for a new thread

Renu ma'am your opinion?
 
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