NON marraige of brahmin men

[kunjuppu]

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Whatever may be the subject matter, when the talk is about India and Indians, there is mostly a standardized way of generalizations.

I think, comparing the Indian culture with that of Western culture people end up exaggerating and generalizing India and Indians.

ravi,

our country is of 1.2 billion, with enough varieties of shapes, figures and cultures. so what is true, is also, not true. for every white, there is also a black, and millions in the shades between.

i think, for india, for indians, western eastern southern northern all applies - somewhere within our family, friends and countrymen.

maybe that is the charm of the melange that we india. truly an enigmatic paradox or a paradoxic enigma? i dont know

 

[Raji Ram]

Each couple will have their own type of intimacy and this should NOT be published in a public forum!

When we can not share these even with parents or siblings, how can we ever share these in a forum?

P.S: Do I think so because I live in Sing. Chennai? :decision:

 

[renuka]

Dear Renuka,



That was broad brush stroke. I don't think the bed rooms were such dull and boring places even in the years of last generation. That was too much of a generalization.

Cheers.

Dear Sir,

I did use the word "the average Indian male".
It was not a broad brush generalization.

 

[renuka]

Whatever may be the subject matter, when the talk is about India and Indians, there is mostly a standardized way of generalizations.

I think, comparing the Indian culture with that of Western culture people end up exaggerating and generalizing India and Indians.

Dear Ravi,

When I use the word Indians..I do not mean Indians from India alone..I mean PIO too.

 

[renuka]

Each couple will have their own type of intimacy and this should NOT be published in a public forum!

When we can not share these even with parents or siblings, how can we ever share these in a forum?

P.S: Do I think so because I live in Sing. Chennai? :decision:

Dear RR ji,

I am off for the day cos it is a Public Holiday out here since yesterday was Thaipusam...

I had written some semi controversial post yesterday to get everyone into discussion mode.

Let the discussions begin!LOL

 

[sarang]

Perhaps "the average male I know" would have been more appropriate.

As an expert statistician, I can give you any average value/result choosing the 'right' sample, discarding irrelevant (not conforming to my average, manipulating the data and stretching the arguments.

You have drawn a straight line through two points.

Dear Sir,

I did use the word "the average Indian male".
It was not a broad brush generalization.

 

[balak223]

Mr. Raghavan,
You are one of the large number of eligible bachelors in our community , having not many options available in seeking an ideal life partner.
I have already a dozen relatives in my family who are in the age group of 25-32 who have no idea how their wife will look like. They are decently employed and are worthy boys without any bad habits.
I observe that most of the love marriages that happen in our community pertains to girls of our community prefering boys of other communities. Very few boys prefer a wife from other communities. This is the cause of imbalance.
My above observation requires authentication from fellow members.
Our boys are more god fearing, more polite, more courteous, more humble and more attached to their family. The girls are the other way round now a days. They are earning money, they are educated and are supported by parents who dance to the tune of these egoistic girls, who lack manners and courtesy. They clearly indicate that the boy's parents cannot stay with them after marriage. This is discussed as a condition before marriage.
Pathetic !
I am advising the nice young boys of our community, to explore alliance from brahmin girls from other communities. I find them more well behaved than our own. For example, I find the Maharashtrian Brahmin girls are superior to ours in humility and courtesy despite their education. We should have a system of exchanging Jatakam from among the Maharashtra / Karnataka brahmin communities.

 

[renuka]

Perhaps "the average male I know" would have been more appropriate.

As an expert statistician, I can give you any average value/result choosing the 'right' sample, discarding irrelevant (not conforming to my average, manipulating the data and stretching the arguments.

You have drawn a straight line through two points.

Dear Sarang ji,

As a doctor since 1995 I have seen many cases of the weird kind and also many patients with marital problems who do disclose very intimate details to their doctors when seeking for help.

Also as a doctor we exchange case notes and compare and contrast marital discord cases with close doctor friends and we get to learn about other cases too.


Also having close relatives who are lawyers taking divorce cases too..all sorts of cases are seen.


My knowledge of human behaviour and instincts mainly are from my years of observation of humans in my field of work.

So in a way you may be right to say that the usage of the terminology "the average male I know" might be more appropriate but may be I should have said the "average male I know in the my field of work".

But from my observation I have noted that Indian males tend to view females as 2 types..

One.. girlfriend material and another wife material.

Wifey material is mostly expected to be docile, totally ignorant about reproduction and the skills that come along with it.

 

[kunjuppu]

Dear RR ji,


Let the discussions begin!LOL

dear renuka,

and this applies to the public too,

you have ended your post with LOL.

i find nowadays a lot of notes, posts, emails and twitters, with LOL in abundance.

now this LOL is new to me. i was told, this means Laugh Out Loud.

so i did, in this case, exactly what you suggested. i laughed out loud, after reading your post. then i read it again, without LOL. in both cases, it meant the same - your urgings for public participation, to your semi-controversial post (which one is that, as i find none of your semi or completely controversial at all)

all in all, can you explain why you added LOL? was it a mock? or a guffaw? or a sneer?

hope you dont mind. thanks..

ps. i browsed through all your posts. i loved your #72. what astounded me, was all this happening in an islamic malay society, which banned viswaroopam.

 

[P.J.]

Most TB girls are like this:


Husband Shop

A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

"Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

The fourth floor sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.

"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.

"Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 6,875,953,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Hence many of our TB boys are seeking seeking seeking.....

 

[renuka]

dear renuka,

and this applies to the public too,

you have ended your post with LOL.

i find nowadays a lot of notes, posts, emails and twitters, with LOL in abundance.

now this LOL is new to me. i was told, this means Laugh Out Loud.

so i did, in this case, exactly what you suggested. i laughed out loud, after reading your post. then i read it again, without LOL. in both cases, it meant the same - your urgings for public participation, to your semi-controversial post (which one is that, as i find none of your semi or completely controversial at all)

all in all, can you explain why you added LOL? was it a mock? or a guffaw? or a sneer?

hope you dont mind. thanks..

Dear Kunjs,

LOL has many meanings..it is like a Vishwaroopam itself..multiple forms and multiple modes.

You see sometimes forum goes into Kumbhakaran deep slumber and some post wakes all of us up!

So my LOL was in that avatar..to wake everyone up as in "what is she LOL ing about now?? What does she mean?? Is that supposed to be a mock, guffaw or sneer?" Just kidding..don't take my post too seriously..I sometimes write nonsense too.

All I can say is LOL is like a reflex these days..no specific meaning.

 

[sankara_sharmah]

In India it is common to find girls walking around holding hands. Boys also do it.

My friends from the Western countries especially from U.S are surprised to say the least. This behaviour has a different connotation there.

Indians do not even hug their children in public leave alone kiss them.

That is our culture.

There are many reasons for that. One of them is we avoid touching any one. Every one talks about Untouchability. Among Hindus everyone is untouchable.

Hindus have carried the concept of Personal Space a bit too far.

Personal space - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I do not see any real felt need for changing that.

 

[Raji Ram]

........ All I can say is LOL is like a reflex these days..no specific meaning.

Dear Renu,

LOL is anyday better than LOLLU!! :lol:

P.S: The above smiley is for 'LOL'!!

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear S S Sir,

You should visit the beaches, parks and Vandalur zoo to find many teenagers walking - holding hands.

Each and every bench had a couple sitting and hugging! I thought, 'Am I in Sing. Chennai or the U S of A?'

I took this snap soon after this pair settled down on a bench in the zoo - a decent snap and hence posting it!

They must have 'escaped' from school / college!

 

[sankara_sharmah]

Raji,

Happy to see young lovers spending time together.

We could not do it when we were young. The younger generation is lucky.

Where do you think the Lovers should go? These people can not afford a restaurant.

This had to happen because love marriages are increasing.

Things are changing and younger people are influenced by the TV and cinema.

But I do not think it is wrong.

Nothing set in stone.

My earlier post was about not showing love/affection in public by married couples and families.

Not applicable to young lovers.

 

[varadha2u]

Also it is better not to lose self respect. Better wait. Heaven will not fall if some one is not going to marry. Think of the difficulties. Childrens education, cost and their upliftment and so on. I sincerely beleive there should be a give and take policy and not one sided.

 

[P.J.]

Dear S S Sir,

You should visit the beaches, parks and Vandalur zoo to find many teenagers walking - holding hands.

Each and every bench had a couple sitting and hugging! I thought, 'Am I in Sing. Chennai or the U S of A?'

I took this snap soon after this pair settled down on a bench in the zoo - a decent snap and hence posting it!

They must have 'escaped' from school / college!

Raji Madam

If they are sitting like that even in Chennai Climate ( hot, hotter, hottest) means it is something different!!
Ammam, why should you probe these things?

 

[sangom]

In India it is common to find girls walking around holding hands. Boys also do it.
My friends from the Western countries especially from U.S are surprised to say the least. This behaviour has a different connotation there.
Indians do not even hug their children in public leave alone kiss them.
That is our culture.
There are many reasons for that. One of them is we avoid touching any one. Every one talks about Untouchability. Among Hindus everyone is untouchable.
Hindus have carried the concept of Personal Space a bit too far.

Personal space - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I do not see any real felt need for changing that.

Dear SS,

I also agree — there is no real need to ape the US or western way of showing physical intimacy at all points and places.

Our way of life has, imo, enough scope for showing our genuine love and affection to every one in our close family circle and outside it also. The only thing is that both the parties should know and understand the means of such expression/communication of that love/affection.

 

[renuka]

Dear S S Sir,

You should visit the beaches, parks and Vandalur zoo to find many teenagers walking - holding hands.

Each and every bench had a couple sitting and hugging! I thought, 'Am I in Sing. Chennai or the U S of A?'

I took this snap soon after this pair settled down on a bench in the zoo - a decent snap and hence posting it!

They must have 'escaped' from school / college!

Dear RR ji,

What is this??
This couple is sitting so far away from each other?

They should sit closer I feel.
May be they are not really lovers..could be just good friends.

 

[Raji Ram]

........ May be they are not really lovers..could be just good friends.

Dear Renu,

I took the snap as soon as they sat on the bench! You can imagine what would have happened later on!

There were cautions like 'beware of snakes' in a few places with dense trees but even under those trees I could find intimate

couples!! Most of them appeared to be school / college going boys and girls. In Chennai Senthamizh these activities are called

ரூட் உடறது, நூல் உடறது, கடலை போடறது! :hug:

 

[renuka]

Dear Renu,

I took the snap as soon as they sat on the bench! You can imagine what would have happened later on!

There were cautions like 'beware of snakes' in a few places with dense trees but even under those trees I could find intimate

couples!! Most of them appeared to be school / college going boys and girls. In Chennai Senthamizh these activities are called

ரூட் உடறது, நூல் உடறது, கடலை போடறது! :hug:

Dear RR ji,

Ok good..cos it is nice to watch couples in love..their face will have some Tejas.

It does not really matter if their love last or not cos we have to live for the moment..sometimes too much planning for the future we miss out the present.

So enjoyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

 

[tbs]

hi
it is nice to watch couples in love..their face will have some Tejas.

i feel laughing this TEJAS....then brahmin boys have these kind of TEJAS....they are really BAYANTHANGOLLI..but in chennai beaches...

we can see a lot of TEJAS like this....MAXUMUM MARINA BEACH/BEASANT NAGAR /TVMR BEACHES...A LOT OF TEJAS AVAILABLE..LOL.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88WREnjAp28

 

[renuka]

hi
it is nice to watch couples in love..their face will have some Tejas.

i feel laughing this TEJAS....then brahmin boys have these kind of TEJAS....they are really BAYANTHANGOLLI..but in chennai beaches...

we can see a lot of TEJAS like this....MAXUMUM MARINA BEACH/BEASANT NAGAR /TVMR BEACHES...A LOT OF TEJAS AVAILABLE..LOL.

நானà¯￾ பேச நினைபதெலà¯￾லாமà¯￾ - Naan pesa ninaipathellam - YouTube

Dear TBS Garu,

In my college in India there were TB guys too.
Mostly were quite quiet types but one of two were quietly dating some Seventh Day Adventist(SDA) girls.

Most of SDA students in our college were very shy and timid types and always had a bible in their hands.. I used to wonder what on earth these guys would have been discussing with SDA girls cos SDA girls only talk about Jesus or about the how Devil will attack if people do not pray..

 

[kunjuppu]

Dear TBS Garu,

In my college in India there were TB guys too.
Mostly were quite quiet types but one of two were quietly dating some Seventh Day Adventist(SDA) girls.

Most of SDA students in our college were very shy and timid types and always had a bible in their hands.. I used to wonder what on earth these guys would have been discussing with SDA girls cos SDA girls only talk about Jesus or about the how Devil will attack if people do not pray..

renu,

i know a couple of these types of tambram guys. one was my classmate.

for five years during undergraduate, every day almost, he used to attend the resident temple in the campus. one never saw him without viboothi on his forehead. soft spoken and good at his studies, he was what we would call an ideal paappaan kid.

till he went to the usa. dont know what happened there. he got involved in the reformed church of the korean mr moon. moonies these were called. the local preacher picked out a korean girl for him, who did not speak a word of english.

the usa adventure we came to know, through another classmate, a close friend. the moonie guy, could not speak a word without reference to the bible, ate just about nothing, talked about mortification, and slept on the floor, with stones onthe ground over which he lay a thin blanket. The friend also met the Korean girlfriend, who had a Korean bible and showed her teeth all the time. As my friend did not speak Korean and the Korean had no word of English.

The parents, from kovai, were heartbroken. But they had a few more sons, and did not take to heart, as much as a female neighbor of mine, in madras, who on hearing that their IIT educated son, wanted to marry a white American, went beserk and had to be sent to an asylum.

Such is life.

 

[Iyer]

When I was in my Higher Secondary classes (Std XI and XII) I was one among only 3 Brahmins in class. I was despised by my Non Brahmin Hindu classmates since I exhibited Brahmin Traits. They had nicknamed me as Viswamitra.

However my Christian classmates struck a cord with me. Especially an Anglo Indian girl, who attends an Anglican church, who was pious, diligently reading the Bible and prayerful was an intimate friend and we were mutually the best companions. I was the most brilliant in Mathematics and she would consult only me for coaching and this brought us together. I had spent weekends in her house and her parents were very understanding. Barring her traditional, customary embrace and kiss, on special occasions like birthdays, christmas etc, we never touched each other during the course of our friendship but were always found in each other's company to the extent that we were gossipped about as 'going steady'.

We remained friends long after leaving school yet ours was not a love-affair. Neither did we impose our faith on the other but on the contrary mutually appreciated the other's culture.

Our society is still imprisoned in the cocoon mindset, jumping to conclude every courtship as love affair.