Shri Sangon,
Unfortunately you have wrongly understood my expression - "girls not realizing the real charm of life in this materialistic world with a different mental make up".
You concluded that I meant "Charm Of Life" "only" in terms of physical beauty of the girls and their sexual potency!!
My definition of charm of life is not the color of the skin, the physical beauty and the sexual potency.
My definition of charm of life is - getting married at least between 25 and 27 years of age; sharing the happy and sad moments of life with husband; sharing ups and downs of life with the husband; taking life ahead and starting to have kid before the husband turns 30 or at least 33 years of age, establishing prosperity in family life by sharing and giving the best of her contributions along with her husband and in all live in peace with physical and emotional comfort, sense of contentment in jointly heading towards common goal and getting old with the 1 intimate partner, sharing every thing with that 1 Man in life, much before getting too old, too matured and too cynical only to "NOT" feel like getting married and committed to that 1 guy in life for the rest of life.
If you say that the above charm of life is the oldest and outdated fashion to mean and live a charm full life, and am stuck with such stupid ideas, I have noting to argue with you because you are right to say considering the present trend/life style.
But, for me the above is what is the charm of living a life for both men and women.
I don't consider the sexual pleasure in its fullest strength and spice as the real charm of married life. Sex is the need of the humans and as such is the mutual demand and supply between the married couples. BUT that alone is not that makes the life charm full and contented.
You are wrong Sir!!! There are many guys as well who sexually can perform well even at the age of 40 AND there are many girls who not only develop physical and psychological complication and sexually become impotent BUT would lose the chance of getting conceived altogether as well.
My definition of charm of life is not just physical..It's more of emotional bondage with love and care with 1 partner, with physical and emotional intimacy with 1 partner and the sense of pleasure and contentment in having the time together and growing to get old together with just that 1 partner and having the children nurtured, grown up and settled at the right time. The pleasure of delivering a baby from her own womb, having had the intimate physical sex with 1 partner as her husband by mutually sharing intimate love, care and emotional frequencies, I feel, can never be attained by having a child in other technological ways and means and adoption.
Dear Shri Ravi,
I feel you have not read my post, given below, as a whole, but the moment you found that there was some writing which did not agree with your notion about "charm of life", you felt challenged. S/Shri PJ and Raghy chose to join the chorus may be because they refuse to see how the tabra girls nowadays look at marriage and married life, as I gather from various second-hand sources, of course (since it is not possible for an old man belonging to the previous generation to talk of such things direct to a girl of marriable age, at least here in Kerala.
The problem with a few tabra households (and I think this point has also been discussed by us before, may be more than once) is that they simply refuse to wake up to the changing equations in our society.
Shri PJ and Shri C. Ravi have mentioned that the girls will "lose their charm" after a certain age; Shri Ravi goes further, in post # 9 and says what charm will be there in life if a girl gets married after she loses her pristine looks and beauty. I feel both of them are still in the 19th. or 18th. century mindset. Even though it may be offensive to some readers, may I say that performance-wise it is the boy (husband) who normally will age faster than the girl (wife). Added to this natural process is the present day "awareness" among women that a good husband has to be efficient enough to satisfy his wife in the bed also and not merely in the other mundane matters. There was a newspaper report sometime back saying that the percentage of divorce applications based on husband's lack of virility is steadily increasing. Hence, it is all the more necessary for the boy/male to set sail before the wind turns unfavourable (காற்றுள்ளபோதே தூற்றிக்கொள்).
There is an adage among illiterate Marathis which means that a road never gets tired, but it is only the pedestrian who does so!!
As you will kindly see, I was talking about the "changing equations in our society" by which term I meant the changing/changed attitudes also. From the info. available to me it looks as though the views expressed by yourself, PJ and Raghy, do no longer hold good. And, may I say for Raghy's valuable attention that I am not writing anything from "my life experience".
Kindly read Shri suraju's post
here and an earlier one, also from him. You will, if you are probably sensitive enough to the changes taking place here, in India, understand that the girls are not trying to "experiment" on anything; rather, their approach to marriage is more like buying a new home or apartment which has to come completely ready and fully furnished as per the tastes of the potential buyer.
And, I got an opportunity to chuckle after reading your and Raghy's posts about someone marrying at 60 and getting a son through a 40 year woman. Among Malayali's there is a joke known as "koDakkambi prayOgam", if you do not know kindly ask any Mallu friend.
You are wrong Sir!!! There are many guys as well who sexually can perform well even at the age of 40 AND there are many girls who not only develop physical and psychological complication and sexually become impotent BUT would lose the chance of getting conceived altogether as well.
Re. the portion in bold fonts - whose assessment is this, the guys' own, I presume! Ialso agree with the 30 seconds' remark but you will have to read it along with "a good husband has to be efficient enough to satisfy his wife in the bed also" from my post, please.
Lastly, let us disabuse our minds from the conviction that the world is what and how we think it is. Thank you!
