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I C and I R weddings!

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Iyer ji

I do not mind getting considered as belonging to thaizhndavar caste if you accept to be called iyerval.

There is nothing derogatory about the expression IMHO.

Otherwise , ji appears easier as it is only two alphabets.

Then you might say north domination .

I consider Mama derogatory.It is used in bad sense mostly.

I do not attach much importance to any ones caste and give special respect for it...

I accept that balinese astronesian migrated from south east asia, mostly indonesian islands[java] , malays.

However in ancient bali , nine hindu sects existed. early 900 AD brought hinduism to bali and hinduism flourishes to this day.Some hindu king names are mentioned

But the people are of different stock in terms of race.Culturally they practice hindu rituals and pracxtices . They have the varna system there also. They revere

mahabharatha and ramayana.

If you call them hindus and admire them they will reciprocate.

They let me into their temples and performed puja for me.

Interestingly most of them are not vegetarians now
 
"I prefer a mix any day to the ultra orthodox kind of TB."

The ultra-mixers may well have it wrong. Any day, far better a normal practising TB (or any other kind of B) than a hate-filled EVR-inspired black-flag-waving Brahmin-hater flaunting his vote-bank, plus his ability to kill and to maim.

During my elder brother's student days at Madras Christian College, Tambaram, Madras, I have seen seven-foot high white chunnaam-covered walls painted with "PAAPPAAN OZHIGA" (in Tamil script) in six-foot high letters. Karunaanithi and gang might have cooled down outwardly, but the simmering hatred is still there, palpable in the streets of Madurai and Chennai.

Brahmins, hard up for Brahmin spouses, should "mix" with these conjugally and produce orthodox-Brahmin-hating hybrids?

Is a Balinese Brahmin also a Brahmin per Religion and Shastras?

Yes.

S Narayanaswamy Iyer
 
Dear Narayan Sir,

Since you agree that a Balinese Brahmin who is of Non Indian origin is a bonafide Brahmin too..how would you view a marriage between a Tamil Brahmin and Balinese Brahmin?

Is this acceptable?
 
How are right or wrong decided?

If a relationship results in happiness for those getting into the relationship and lasts long then it is a win win for both.

If it sours after initial euphoria, irrespective whether both are ultra orthodox brahmins , arranged match or otherwise, then it is a bad marriage.

One can be happy in either kind of marriage ultra orthodox or mixed variety.

It depends on mindset of the partners in a relationship.

Why make a drama of Own caste and exhibit caste name and associated superiority in addressing others,have expectations of worth based on caste?

People are normally civil and do not deliberately hold others to ridicule based on caste.

If one looks for insult, It might be the words of a dravidian icon or a north indian leader practising a dubious ideology and pushing hindi on all.

One need not worry about the new generation.

They are far more enlightened and will make a modern india based on thinking far removed from those of twentieth century birth.
 
Dear sir,

I take the liberty of picking this thread up for a base.


"Transgenders are God's own creation and need acceptance and respect."


Expanding on this concept, would you kindly agree at least in principle, if not in practice, that other creatures of God, human and non-human also "need acceptance and respect"?
All creatures, whether of a God or otherwise, need "acceptance and respect". In their own way in the ecosystem. I hope you do not mean inter-species marriages with your comment !

Elsewhere I have mentioned ex-jail-birds, convicts of lesser and greater crimes who have served their sentences, been released, and want to re-integrate into civil society. Are they also not God's own creation? (Same with those released from mental asylums after being cured? Even AIDS ex-patients?)
We have to talk about comparables here. A person born with a disability cannot be equated to a person who has commited a heinous act (of his volition). They are two different yardsticks.

Why do we call in the pest-busters when our wooden homes are infested with termites? Or the fumigators when we see a beehive in our tree? Or take out a coconut-leaf-rib broom when we see a cockroach? Why we do we set out rat poison, anti-rat glue, and drown rats caught in rat-traps? Why do we not protest against "live" experiments with animals in laboratories run by the pharmaceutical companies?
Simple answer - survival of the self.

Best,
 
There is new india emerging.

If one goes to social forums , one can see many youngsters are in a relationship in teens.

Many in metros single on first job invariably date ,most working girls look for boys later turning boyfriends as both as escorts [our metros are so unsafe for single

women] and lasting relationships. Most of these relationships are a shade better than one night stands. Some last and end up married. Others break when one of them

moves for better oppurtunities to another metro or goes abroad.

Most get physical . Caste or religion do not enter in these relationships. Only when some think of marrying they try reaching to parents for legitimacy. Wise parents

accept and carry on .Obstinate make it messier leading to fractured relationships.

The most difficult issue for children is to handle parents of either side. I know some who are in relationship for years and simply carry on saving themselves the torture

of getting parental acceptance.

So all discussions of IC/IR by senior citizens are irrelevant as youngsters have their own agenda and thinking on how to choose and live with another person
 
So all discussions of IC/IR by senior citizens are irrelevant as youngsters have their own agenda and thinking on how to choose and live with another person


May be an expert opinion offered by a veteran of this Forum in the thread opened by another veteran.

In another three months, one of the coterie member will again open a thread and few can found discussing vehemently on the very same subject.. viz pros and cons.

Some seems to enjoy such discussion on this ever green topic ...perhaps it comes handy whenever few gets bored.

Let us carry on the topic....in this ever changing world.

This thread has safely traversed so far by touching highly sensitive subjects like LGBT, Mahabarata, Ramayana…Indonesian Bali… DNA analysis, Ista Devatha…Kuladevata…Papam…Punyam…etc etc

There is no dearth for Masala…lol

Wishing the thread safe journey..

Sarve Jana Sukhino Bhavantu.... :)
 
........ So all discussions of IC/IR by senior citizens are irrelevant as youngsters have their own agenda and thinking on how to choose and live with another person
Dear Krish Sir,

But for this irrelevant discussion, YOU have posted a lot, though most are arachcha masala. Thank you! :)

IMHO, the percentage of 'that' category of youngsters is not yet alarming.
 
Dear Krish Sir,

But for this irrelevant discussion, YOU have posted a lot, though most are arachcha masala. Thank you! :)

IMHO, the percentage of 'that' category of youngsters is not yet alarming.
Dear Rajiramji,

I am also a senior citizen.

I also keep saying the same things in different languages in various ways .

But the basic theme is many of us have become irrelevant.

We either have to come to terms with changes which are taking place too fast or get totally sidelined..

Luckily tamilnadu has less of live ins.

In other metros like bangalore , delhi or mumbai it is alarming.

Most house owners turn a blind eye to tenants in relationships.{ I am also one. I only tell them that if they run into trouble with cops or other residents it is their look

out}.

Many hotels face the issue of youngsters in relationship wanting rooms for a weekend getaways.They turn away some without proper documents or luggage.

Homestays are easier to get for these youngsters and these places are discreet.

Social forums have queries on where to stay on visits by such live in couple on holidays and weekends.

Life is indeed difficult for these youngsters.

Most in live ins postpone having kids and abort sometimes unsafely.Thats a danger.

Some go ahead and have it . Then they get desperate to marry and get family concurrence.

In some cases they succeed. Where families are powerful it is goodbye to relationship.

Ultimate end with false cases against one of the young couple and nasty break up.
 
I find all these live in relationships hard to digest that it is actually happening in India.

Out here its unheard off among Hindus and Muslims.
Muslims would be arrested under Shariah Law and Hindus dont live in cos parents would object.

Also the country is too small to misbehave..all news would reach parents very easily.
 
Here in india also witch hunts take place.

It is happening in northern states, some being dubbed romeos and fixed.

Then these anti valentine day activists attacking couples in hotels , parks and public spaces.

Freedom park in delhi has become the place with no freedom to meet for youngsters.

Then there are the cops always waiting to make a fast buck nailing these youngsters.

Mughals were wise.

They left behind a lot of monuments for youngsters to have meeting places.
 
Mughals were wise.

They left behind a lot of monuments for youngsters to have meeting places.

There are books and list of monuments which now stands on the site reported to have been built with material of Hindu temples....
 
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.......... Mughals were wise.

They left behind a lot of monuments for youngsters to have meeting places.
Sing. ChennaivAsigaL don't need any help from the Mughals! :D

The places like Vandalur zoo, snake park, children's park have lots of tree, under which thiruttu lovers meet to have fun! :hug:

When I visited these places, almost all the benches had young couples - must be unmarried ones in their teens. :shocked:

But live-ins are not very popular here, by God's grace! :pray2:

P.S: I used the word 'couple' because....

''couple - noun

1. two people or things of the same sort considered together.

2. two people who are married or otherwise closely associated romantically or sexually. ''

 
How are right or wrong decided?

What is universally considered right is right.

If a relationship results in happiness for those getting into the relationship and lasts long then it is a win win for both.
If it sours after initial euphoria, irrespective whether both are ultra orthodox brahmins , arranged match or otherwise, then it is a bad marriage.One can be happy in either kind of marriage ultra orthodox or mixed variety.It depends on mindset of the partners in a relationship.

If drinking rum results in happiness drink plenty of it. It is also a win win situation. The liquous merchant is happy, the bartender is happy and you are happy. Every one is happy. But alcohol is also habit forming. So there is a 100% probability that you will end up as an alcoholic and may die of cirhosis prematurely in life. Those who know that alcohol can enslave you advise you. But for you happiness is sacrosanct as it comes quickly with alcohol. So go to hell. Who is bothered. It is the duty of the elders to warn. It is the duty of Govt. to warn. It is the duty of scriptures to warn. Period.

Why make a drama of Own caste and exhibit caste name and associated superiority in addressing others,have expectations of worth based on caste? People are normally civil and do not deliberately hold others to ridicule based on caste.

Why tie yourself in knots? Your first sentence is contradicted by the second sentence. No brahmin rubs his caste on others unless under extreme provocation.

If one looks for insult, It might be the words of a dravidian icon or a north indian leader practising a dubious ideology and pushing hindi on all.

It is the nature of human beings to ignore insults. Only when you are made a ilichchavayan, the insults becomes too much and even then brahmins express controlled anger with a purpose.

One need not worry about the new generation. They are far more enlightened and will make a modern india based on thinking far removed from those of twentieth century birth.

The new generation needs guidance from the elders. Otherwise it will be a listless drift ending in disaster.

When the inexorable march of time demands of you only to bend a little, you are readily advocating to crawl and lick the boots. That is the pity of the day. There are many like you. And that is the curse.
 
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1. Basic premise appears to be -what brahmin thinks is right alone is right. Let everyone salute him and march behind him with folded hands.

2.Only arranged marriage settled by ultra orthodox brahmin seniors are good. All children should tie the knot as directed and be happy.

3.We will isolate ourself and show our anger only if it suits our interests.Otherwise we will continue to swallow our pride and wait for better oppurtunity to fix others.

4.Those who do not agree with us are drunkards,crawlers before other sects and worst curses are waiting for them around the corner.

Pity the cursed krish44.lol
 
1. Basic premise appears to be -what brahmin thinks is right alone is right. Let everyone salute him and march behind him with folded hands.

2.Only arranged marriage settled by ultra orthodox brahmin seniors are good. All children should tie the knot as directed and be happy.

3.We will isolate ourself and show our anger only if it suits our interests.Otherwise we will continue to swallow our pride and wait for better oppurtunity to fix others.

4.Those who do not agree with us are drunkards,crawlers before other sects and worst curses are waiting for them around the corner.

Pity the cursed krish44.lol

Just surrender to Narayana any curse would be lifted and a Sudarshan Chakra would protect you...Ma Suchah.
 
Sri auh, Veteran, who is most welcome to join in this thread, says:-

We have to talk about comparables here. A person born with a disability cannot be equated to a person who has commited a heinous act (of his volition). They are two different yardsticks.

He seems to have touched on a basic point. The point is that only "comparables" are equal creatures of God. This leads to the "1984" situation that all humans are equal, but some are more equal than others.

He talks about "yardsticks", i.e. units created by humans for measurement. Does God have such yardsticks? And does he use them for rewards and punishnments in this world, in the earlier world, and in the next world?

Sinners who have atoned adequately for their sins (like unwed single mothers), adults, adolescents and children who have paid the price for their misdemeanours and their crimes (as classified by fellow-humans) and seek re-integration into society, into OUR society, should be measured by a different yardstick and adjudged as unfift? God has given us the authority to do that? Or only to some of us selecgted by themselves?

When? Where? How?

Compassion, simple charity, fraternal feeling for needy fellow-humans should be discarded in favour of judgmental classification into comparables and incomparables?

Did not Adolf Hitler say that peripatetic Gypsies, the mentally challenged, the impoverished in the ghettoes, the learning-challenged, the physically challenged, the colour-skinned, the Jews, are all incomparables and should be eliminated? Are moving in that direction?

Would what one contributor in these TB columns blithely labels as the ultra orthodox kind of TB (his own dismissive term for simply for one who follows TB religious customs and is not ashamed of it) be an execrable incomparable?

Would one contributor in these TB columns who asserts that at any time he prefers a glass of shandy or a cocktail to a flute of champagne from a top vineyard, count among the enviable "comparables"?

Would it make any difference to Sri auh and those who agree with him, if the posited "person who has commited a heinous act (of his volition)" was later found insane and not in possession of his faculties at the time of the alleged offence, and would definitely have been acquitted had a good criminal lawyer defended him?

Not all matters are pure white or pure black' some are grey areas?


Veteran Krtish44 brings out this out this pungent point:-

Why make a drama of Own caste and exhibit caste name and associated superiority in addressing others,have expectations of worth based on caste?

The question is entirely misconceived.

The real question is twofold: Why parade one's inferiority complex, be ashamed of one's true identity by hiding or by erasing one's caste name if one is a Brahmin -- Sharma, Iyer, Iyengarr, Agnihothri, Ghanapaadi, Bhattaachaarya, Bhatt, Dvivedi, Trivedi, Chaturvedi, Samavedis, Namboodiri? And why feel guilty of having ancestors who used these caste names?

Why seek to ridicule and voluntarily offend those who correctly use these caste names in this TB forum? Why act like the famous fabled fox who lost his tail and asked all other foxes to cut off their own tails? Or like the unsung lion who went for a massive shave and ended up looking like a lioness?

Because one Iyer in this TB forum dares to identify his caste, as his parents and all his menfolk did, you quiver and quake with a massive inferioirty complex -- is that all there is to it? You have expectations of notoriety and worth based on castigating caste on a Brahmin website?

Would you require our present Prime Minister to be known only as Shankar, and fiercely condemn him for "making a drama of Own caste and exhibiting caste name and associated superiority in addressing others,have expectations of worth based on caste"?

Would you delete "Pandit" from our former and first Prime Minister Jawahar Lal Nehru's nomenclature? Ask Lal Bahadur Shaasthri, former PM, to delete "Shaasthr"i from his name? Demand that Atal Behari Vajpayee, another past PM, be known simply as Atal Bihari?

White Americans -- descended from Poles, Germans, Frenchmen, Italian s, Greeks -- travel to Europe in search of heir roots. Blacks go to Africa in search of their roots. Creoles go to both Europe and to Afrlca in search of their own roots.

You want all Tamil Brahmins to cover up, burn and bury their roots because of your personal anti-caste chauvinism?

"அன்புமிக்க தப்பித் பிழைத்து ஜீவித்திருக்கும் உயர் திரு க்ரிஷ் நாற்ப்பத்தி-நாலு அவர்களே" என்று பணிவுடன் அழைத்தேன். ஏன் ஸார் குதிதிச்சு ?

"படிக்காதவர்களும் தாழ்ந்தவர்களும் அந்தணர்களை அய்யர்-வாள் என்பார்கள்."

ஏன் படிப்பில் தாந்தவர் என்று புரியவில்லை ? ஏன் பிறப்பில் தாந்தவர் என்று துள்ளுகிறீர்கள் ? ஆங்கிலம் உயர்ந்தது நம் தமிழ் தாழ்ந்தது என்று நினைக்கிறீர்களா ?

ஒருவர் இராஜலக்ஷ்மி வேங்கடஸுப்ரமண்ய அம்மாள் என்ற பெயர் இட்டுக்கொண்டால் அவரை தூக்கி வீசி அவமானிப்பிரீர்களா ? சொல்லுங்கள் ஸார் .

குறை ஒன்றும் இல்லை மறைமூர்த்தி கண்ணா, குறை ஒன்றும் இல்லை கோவிந்தா, கோபாலா கேசவா!

In the wise words of another Veteran in this TB forum:

When the inexorable march of time demands of you only to bend a little, you are readily advocating to crawl and lick the boots. That is the pity of the day. There are many like you. And that is the curse.

Madam Renuka, a Veteran, asks:-

"Since you agree that a Balinese Brahmin who is of Non Indian origin is a bonafide Brahmin too..how would you view a marriage between a Tamil Brahmin and Balinese Brahmin? Is this acceptable?"

Marriages between a Sri Lankan Brahmin and a TB have been accepted, haven't they? And a Bangladeshi Brahmin with a TB? And a Nepalese Brahmin with a TB? Tomorrow perhaps a Pakistani Brahmin with a TB?

If the groom's side and the bride's side share and follow the same shaasthraas, rites and rituals, have the same high regard for the principles enunciated in the Shruthis, smruthis and other scriptures, are born to Brahmin parents who are themselves born to Brahmin parents, what are the objections?

On what grounds?

S Narayanaswamy Iyer
 
One kalai IyengAr groom's mom refused to decorate the bride (from another kalai) with AndAl koNdai! :)

The method of wearing madisAr also was different in the groom's and bride's sides!

I think rites and rituals vary even within sub-sects of brahmins, leave alone brahmins from other states in India / other countries!
 
Iyer ji
The site is one which has many brahmins. It is not exclusively composed of brahmins alone.

Our constitution provides for equality of all castes , religions.

Though there is reservation policy to rectify the economic imbalances in indian society, it perhaps gives a fillip to more casteism.

Everything we start looking from the prism of caste.

Those who enjoyed privileges in the past on account of belonging to a particular caste start feeling disgruntled. They have been carrying their caste name as a badge of

honour, feel slighted if someone calls them iyerval instead of iyer avergal . They think all are out to get them , demean them , feel persecuted due to reservation policy

denying them the lofty position in society by virtue of their caste.If one of their own clan, who has not faced any discrimination having lived thousands of miles away

from such a discriminating society says he does not believe in caste , why get upset? One might feel proud to carry a caste name .One cannot expect all other to

honour them just because they carry such a name.People are respected for their knowledge, their outlook, the way they treat all humanfolk. To find fault in addressing

alone giving examples of people adding their caste names sounds a bit jarring. The days of drum beating ones caste telling dalits to get out of their path is over.Sooner

People realise this ,better it is for them.

Now to call names for my views using the caste card is totally unacceptable.
 
One kalai IyengAr groom's mom refused to decorate the bride (from another kalai) with AndAl koNdai! :)

The method of wearing madisAr also was different in the groom's and bride's sides!

I think rites and rituals vary even within sub-sects of brahmins, leave alone brahmins from other states in India / other countries!
Some need to learn from me,an iyengar by birth.

My iyer DIL wears our madisar on occassions. Nice thilakam and kondai when needed.

Thats the price of love for vaishnavite brahmin.lol
 
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