• Welcome to Tamil Brahmins forums.

    You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our Free Brahmin Community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

    If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.

Wedding rituals

Status
Not open for further replies.

pbkhema

Active member
Our present day wedding rituals are si faaar away from what had ben said in the sutras
I am giving one example,
Maali Mathhal and OOnjal
Now the highest form of marriage is the Brahmma whre the brides father gifts the bride to a suitable groom
Kanya Dhanam
The third/ fourth in the order of merit is Gandharva form where the bride and groom exchange Garlands
Now in our marraiges we do both.
But the point is that even before the Kanya Dhanam the exchange of Garlands takes place nowadays.
This takes away the benefit of the highest form of marraige.
Our Sastrigals say it is customary.
But they cannot give any srmriti tradition.
And this is vastly different from other parts of the country.
In the 1960s a very learned elderly person performed his sons marraige in this way.No Maalai Mathhal.
Now after having read both the Manu Smriti and Yanjavalika smritis I too am of the same opinion
There are more unnecessary customs.
 
kalyanam

On the day of Nitchayadhartham,Mappilai Warawhereppu is done.Garlands are exchanged too,between groom and brides.The elders agree about enetering into holy matrimony,and request all to bless.The brides younger brother adorns and makes a informal welcome in some families.

Agni, the god of fire, is central to most Hindu rites. Tradition has it that marriages be solemnized in his presence. Here he stands as the universal witness to the union. - Agni Shaakshi, accompanied by the Thozhan and Thozhi, the bride and groom take their first steps as man and wife to walk clockwise three times around the sacred fire to pay their respect to Agni, the representative of the gods. Certain rituals are performed while going around the fire.

At the end of the first round,Sapthapadi, taking seven steps facing north, is performed indicating the seven stages in the spiritual evolution of man and woman, after which the groom takes the right foot of his bride and places it on a granite stone, Ammi Midhidhal, and slips a Metty, a silver ring, on her second toe, indicating she be as strong and steadfast as the stone in the face of adversity.

On completing the second round the groom slips a second Metty on the second toe of her left foot. Arundhathi Paarthathul at this stage is the groom showing the bride the star Arundhathi. It is significant that Arundhathi, wife of the referred sage Vashistar, virtuous, chaste and devoted, was placed among the stars to be a model for all, both man and woman, to emulate.

At this moment the groom also is reminded that he remains chaste and faithful. This the priest does by drawing his attention to a cloth wrapped green branch of a tree with a myriad of oval thorns (here substituted by a stick) planted in a clay pot in front of the Manavarai. The thorns signifies the thousand eyed spectacle, Indra, the King of Heaven, was transformed into by the curse of sage Gautama for Indra's tryst with the beautiful Ahalya, the sages wife. This is a grim reminder of the price Indra paid for his indiscretion.

Ahalya turned by her husband's curse into a stone for her infidelity regains her human form purified and resplendent when the divine Rama, on his way to Mithilam, treads on it. This is the significancve of Ammi Midhidhal, the couple performed when they first circled the homam.

Modhiram Tedhudhal or finding the ring contest between the bride and the groom comes at the end of the third round.

This provides for a lighter moment eliciting giggles and chuckles as fingers play and flounder for the ring in the privacy of the pot.

Next, the couple perform the Poorna Ahuthi which is the offering of grains, honey and fruits to the gods through their representative Agni, in attendance as homam, the sacred fire, imploring them to bless and render their wedlock holy.

The Kanniga Dhanam ritual is the bride's parents giving their daughter's hand in marriage to the groom making her also a member of the groom's family. The priest calls the parents of the bride and the groom to the Manavarai.The priest pronounces the names of three generations of male foreparents, both living and dead, of the bride bride and groom inviting them to bear witness to the marriage and bless the couple. The bride's father, betel and coconut in hand, places his daughter's hand in the groom's hand indicating that the groom accept cherish and protect her all through life. The bride's mother indicates her consent by trickling water into hands of her husband, who gives a gold coin to the groom symbolic of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the coin and in turn gives it to his parents. This signifies the acceptance of the bride by the groom and his family.

The groom then presents the Koorai and the Thaali to the bride and welcomes her into his family. Before presenting these to the bride, they are blessed by the priest and are taken around in a tray to be blessed by the elders in the congregation.

The bride now leaves the Manavarai and retires to her bridal boudoir. She then returns to the Manavarai, dazzling in her gold braided Koorai, and garlands the groom expressing thus her consent and acceptance.

The crowning stage of the wedding is the Thaali ceremony. Thaali, a gold talisman with embossed sacred signs strung on a Kodi (a gold chain) is a cherished ornament a wife wears next to her heart while her husband lives.

To begin the Thaali ceremony, the priest calls for Gettimelam, Thavil accompanied by Nadhaswaram rising to a crescendo, to drown utterances for chatter of a house lizard that may spell Abha-sagunam or bad omen.

The groom stands and ties the Thaali-Kodi (Thaali - chain) around the bride's neck and with a finger spots her forehead

with Kungumam (vermillian dust) the red dot being called Kunguma-Pottu, another symbol of a married Hindu woman.

Simultaneously a shower of flowers blesses the couple. The priest holds high a lit oil lamp symbolizing the divine light witnessing the nuptial knot. Also now a coconut is cracked into two halves by a close member of the family symbolizing a bloodless sacrifice. The sweet coconut water signifying love, the white kernel purity and the broken shell selfishness shed.

The wedded couple now exchange garlands and the groom moves to accommodate the bride on his left, Shakthi's place beside Shiva and also the left half she is seen in the Ardhanareewara vadivam. They also feed each other a mouthful of elixir, a mix of fruit, milk and honey, as a promise of sweet and endless love they hope to share. From this point the bride becomes a Sahadharmini, an equal partner in the discharge of social duties and the attainment of their spiritual objectives.


Aseervaadham - Blessings,The priest first blesses the couple, showering them with rice, a symbol of happiness, prosperity and fertility, followed by the parents of the groom, the bride, their close relatives and the guests. The wedding ceremony ends with an Arathi as the newlyweds stand at the Manavarai.

Oonjal-swinging together when elders take drishti out of your aura and take aarathi too.


Virundh-upacharam - The Wedding Feast ,There is great rejoicing as a feast is spread to celebrate a momentous occasion.

Mute blessings flow from guests honoured and entertained with a Virundhu (breakfast.lunch/dinner) from a menu appealing to Aarusuvai (the six tastes) that the human palette is said to be able to clearly discern.

Shanthi Muhurtham-The copulation time specified by panchangam is calculated.So,that the offspring as per kula deivams blessings happens.Of course these days,such things are left to couples to decide.

sb
 
Balaa is missing the point at issue,The present day rituals have got jumbled up with local customs
 
Naandhi During Wedding

In the earlier thread on the subject which has been closed and which I read only today I would like to mention a few facts
1.Not all family tradions have it
2 In Skandapurana in connection with the marraige of Siva with Parvati(Himavan's daughter) there is a mention that he preformed Naandhi
3. My copy of the translation of Apastamba Sutra does not contemplate it.
 
re

Balaa is missing the point at issue,The present day rituals have got jumbled up with local customs

hema,its bound to happen.let's go with the flow and enjoy the marriages..as a matter of fact in ancient times,there was nothing to be formally called as marriage.there was a time the man just shared the woman and the children born were treated as one big family.the chief was the leader.and he had many woman.it was a different dharma all together.everyone treated the children as their own and raised communities.the girl will live with children in her mothers place only and similiarly the boys.we have evolved or say we claim that we have evolved,and today in practice with our customs.there are so many olai chuvadigals available.elders have chosen and codeified which is acceptable to modern ways of life.acchaaryaals set standards.many such gurus exist.therefore many patterns of life.

sb
 
hema,its bound to happen.let's go with the flow and enjoy the marriages..as a matter of fact in ancient times,there was nothing to be formally called as marriage.there was a time the man just shared the woman and the children born were treated as one big family.the chief was the leader.and he had many woman.it was a different dharma all together.everyone treated the children as their own and raised communities.the girl will live with children in her mothers place only and similiarly the boys.we have evolved or say we claim that we have evolved,and today in practice with our customs.there are so many olai chuvadigals available.elders have chosen and codeified which is acceptable to modern ways of life.acchaaryaals set standards.many such gurus exist.therefore many patterns of life.

sb
THis is to carry our sutras to absurditymOur Sutras do not enclurage more than one maraige except if they have no son,My main thurst was that local customs have started overshadowing our sutiric ritualsmA perfectly religiouly valid marraige can be completed in a couple of hours
By the way I am PBK and not hema
 
The grihya sutras speak of several types of marraige.The form of marriage now being performed in almost all Brahmin weddings is the Brhamma form of marraige.
The essemtials are
The brides father invites the groomto marry his daughter
(I am not dealing with the pre marriage ritual aspects)
Then he gives his daughter as a gift to the groom (Kanyadhanam)
Then (as per Aapastamba sutra and Baudhanya sutra) the groom gives her a new piece of dress
She wears and and then they go round the fire seven times.Sapthapathi.This is the most important.
All other aspects are regional and customory
The grihya sutras do not speak of Maangalya Dharanam.In the north it is not there
 
But Hema ji...

I was told that in 40 Samskaaras, mangalaya dhaaranam is specified....and there are specific manthras for this samskara....
Could be elaborate please...
It may b e a part of the smaskaras but the grihyasutras do not specify it. As posted by me earlier it is not there in the North
It is a custom only in the south
What I am saying is we have so many unwanted rituals in the present day.They may be there by custom.But do we want it.
By the way I am pbk and not hemaji
 
It may b e a part of the smaskaras but the grihyasutras do not specify it. As posted by me earlier it is not there in the North
It is a custom only in the south
What I am saying is we have so many unwanted rituals in the present day.They may be there by custom.But do we want it.
By the way I am pbk and not hemaji

pbk,

i have witnessed the arya samaj wedding. it is not a brahmin wedding, as the arya samaj do not believe in caste or in vikragams. ie no pullayar statue either.

it is a vedic wedding, with the essentials of a hindu rituals shorn of acquired practices over time or regional variations. start to finish, it is around 1 hour 22 minutes. the bride and the groom enter separately and sit together.

the parents and the public sit away from the dais. there is no tamasha like மாப்பிளை அழைப்பு, நலங்கு or ஊஞ்சல்.

the gentleman who conducts it here in toronto canada where i live, is a retired professor, and is used to holding audiences' attention. he conducts the wedding like a classroom lecture, with a mike, and walks through the significance of the rituals, with both the audience and the couple getting married.

all in all, it is a silent, sombre and rapt function, with nothing of the frivolities of our weddings. but it is amazing, how short it is.

the only wedding shorter than that, is a recent kerala wedding i attended. the namboodri's function was a bare 20 minutes. all the TBs who attended, were pleasantly surprised, and vowed to go for this, if their broods would go along. :)
 
I am NOT saying or advocating quisk wedding rituals.What I wanted to say was unwanted rituals can be eleminated.
eg. Nischyatharthan on the day before the marriage
OOnjal
Malai Maththal etc
 
I am NOT saying or advocating quisk wedding rituals.What I wanted to say was unwanted rituals can be eleminated.
eg. Nischyatharthan on the day before the marriage
OOnjal
Malai Maththal etc

exactly.

what i said is the time taken for all the vedic rituals including sapthapadi. in its essence, our rituals are simple and to the point. we have added ஆபராணம்ஸ் over the years :)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Latest ads

Back
Top