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wedding rituals

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I had an opportunity to visit Ramachandra Ashram at Manapakkam, Porur in Chennai.It was a grand sight to see thousands of devotees assembling there.Dozens of young men and men were married before the SWamiji just by exchanging rings or tying manglasutra.It was a painful sight to see the wedding ceremony reduced to the boittom. Even church marriages are better. I s it not making a mockery of the Hindu customs?
Positively if you see unnecessary expenses are avoided and wastage of food would be at the minimum. For a marriage what is important is consensus of mind and blessings of some good people above all god's wish.
The vaidika portion must be performed fully for an Astika. The most important being the pANigrahaNam and the saptapadI. The other laukika portions could be avoided, like the expenses on kAshi-yAtrai etc.
I performed all the rituals of TB for my daughter. I feel a unconventional TB marriage,is like lunch without salt. As regards wastages, even in our daily cooking for say 4 persons, there may be some wastages, which depending on the quantity either we throw or give to needy persons. In marriages of 400 guests it is increased by 100 times. As marriage is one time affair ( hopefully ), we should not harp on wastages, but give importance to rituals & customs.
The vaidika portion must be performed fully for an Astika. The most important being the pANigrahaNam and the saptapadI. The other laukika portions could be avoided, like the expenses on kAshi-yAtrai etc.
Kaasi Yatra is not actually a laukika rite. Brahmins have advanced and hence it looks like a laukik affair now.
How many of us perform the vaidika portion in marriage ceremonies by correctly reciting the Sanskrit mantras and by being correctly told about the sanctity of each and every ritual ???!!!!! I do appreciate the need to perform the vaidika portion appropriately. But a critical review of the art of performing marriages spread over more than a couple of days and also on convergence of various school of thoughts so as to perform the marriage customs in a simple yet appropriate manner needs to be done by elders in our society and the Vaidikas.

What about the need for Jaana vasam/Mappilai Azhaipu? Is it relevant and is it being performed in the way it ought to be ?

What about Kashi Yatra's relevance ? Modern day Kaashi yatras during marriages are with Stylish Umbrellas with rose petals showered on the bridegroom when the umbrella is opened, hand-fan (Vishari) with lot of decorations and even the walking stick (Vadi) in fashionable outer coverings. Can we not have Kaashi yatra without such pomposity / comforts ? Are we taking Customs for a ride in the name of grandeur ?

What about Mangalya suthra dharanam/Thalikettu being performed by the bride sitting on the lap of her father? I heard that this
was performed because in olden days during Saisav Vivah / Child marriages, the girl had the tendency to run away and hence the practice which is still being followed.
In another marriage, I saw that the brides parents were not allowed to be near the bride during the Thalikettu/Mangalya suthra ritual because as per the vaidika after the 'Dhara Ceremony/Dhara vaathu kodukkal' the parents of the bride have lost their right to be beside her. Quite strange when one goes through all this.

Yes, there is a need to follow rituals/tradition but without losing its relevance, without unnecessary pomp and splendour and with refinement.

I do not certainly wish to hurt the sentiments of anyone.

Let us continue with a frank and purposeful discussion.

Rattan Kumar.R.
[email protected]
Dear All
i require suggestions on advice for the marriage of my son of 30 years
we reside outside the country
he has decided to marry a punjabi girl , after nearly 2 years we have accepted the same .
The brides family has accepted to conduct the marriage as per Tamil brahmin custom.
We are looking for event arrangers , sastrigals to conduct the same in Mumbai .
can we receive advice on

- What should the rituals to be done
- suitable sastrigals for this in Mumbai
- event agents for this function .

Thanks for your replies and assistance in advance
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