Brahmin- non Brahmin wedding rituals

[Madisanji]

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Hi.. I am new to this forum. We are a very orthodox family and to the best of our knowledge we have tried to bring up our children too exposing them to our culture and religious practices. But once my son did his MS and came back to India after working in US for one year his thought process, ideologies etc have gone through a sea change. Initially he agreed to an arranged marriage and just as we were looking for alliances, within a month he started meeting a girl through common friends. He wanted time and all our attempts to convince him were in vain. Now he wants to marry her with our blessings. We have found out that the girl is wel educated, comes from a cultured upper middle class family, who value traditions and respect Brahmins. But we are not yet able to come to terms with the fact that our son will be bringing a non brahmin bride. We are worried about the ridicule from family and friends, as well as about our family tradition and lineage being lost.
I personally feel there is no need for a traditional Brahmin wedding. But my husband says lets not deny him all the rituals of our marriages. What is your opinion on this? And if its necessary, what are the essential meaningful rituals we should conduct? We dont want to be the laughing stock of our community as well. Thanks a bunch for the help.

 

[Mani_Chennai]

It is an old posting! Will some one object if a response is posted?

 

[S.SIVARAMAN]

It may be a delayed response to that post now from you. But sure it might be a good one also. please feel free and voice your opinion on this

 

[Mani_Chennai]

It may be a delayed response to that post now from you. But sure it might be a good one also. please feel free and voice your opinion on this

If both parties agree and perform ceremonies twice - according to their own customs and if eating meat etc., is not acceptable to one side, then just register marriage and a party is enough. Religious rituals were created to protect the marriages and witnesses- the groom riding on a horse (Harat or Janawasam were created. Now only registered marriage (with bribe) will secure the inheritance. Old Tamil Kalavu manam - just exchange garland (bought with earned money) and couple of young witnesses (without heart conditions to be in court if necessary) is enough. May look like harsh, but who cares? Party with liquor is the order of the day. Only fascinated foreigners wants now to get married in Vaidika method even in USA. So, marriage ceremonies are just a convenient way to gather and have some fun. The pain will be left to the newly wed couples! By the way, do these couple first get counseling before getting married. Only 5% work according to world surveys. But with over population of women (1-2% more than men), it is OK to try any method. But, please wait for two years to understand each other and harmonize before you reproduce. And the next time do not expect either one to by virgin. Will do in my family. Yes. I can not control and become depressed. It is their life and my duty is not to interfere with their freedom and the consequences. Karmanyeva athikaram asthe ma phaleshu kathachanaa – as usual quoting Gita to escape from my further responsibilities and sorrow.