Joint Family VS Separate Family after marriage

[rishikesan]

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Dear Dr renuka, I am happy that you have covered all the aspects in detail l. You have also mentioned that even your own parents won"t endorse your views. It proves that you are unique in many respects & your angle of approach on any Topic is materially different, & you are firm in your conviction. Keep it up.
Rishikesan

 

[renuka]

Dear Dr renuka, I am happy that you have covered all the aspects in detail l. You have also mentioned that even your own parents won"t endorse your views. It proves that you are unique in many respects & your angle of approach on any Topic is materially different, & you are firm in your conviction. Keep it up.
Rishikesan

Dear Rishikeshan ji,

Thank you very much.

I hope you enjoyed the songs I put in this thread.

 

[krish44]

Dear Rishikeshan ji,

Thank you very much.

I hope you enjoyed the songs I put in this thread.

Hmmm carry on Renukaji

 

[Raji Ram]

........... One day a topless mama is going to hug you in a temple!LOL

Dear Renu,

If it happens by any chance, the next day news will be this:

''Naughty topless mAmA beaten up by a tambram mAmi!'' :wacko:

 

[Raji Ram]

........ I wish the mama had really learned some western customs and started kissing (on the cheek). What would you do then? Refusing and/or not reciprocating would be quite rude.

I wouldn't have even gone near that mAmA!! eace:.

I don't mind being branded as a rude mAmi!! :lol:

FYI, Biswa Sir, the NRI forum friends who visited my sweet home did NOT follow the culture of their country!

 

[renuka]

Dear Renu,

If it happens by any chance, the next day news will be this:

''Naughty topless mAmA beaten up by a tambram mAmi!'' :wacko:

Dear RR ji,

Poor mamas..why so harsh?LOL

 

[rishikesan]

Such hugging etc are rare in our Brahmin , that too tamil Brahmins & only stray cases like what has been stated above .
Max. I have seen was that when we both visited American friends , of my daughter, one family member , as we entered, just kissed my wife in the cheek, which had be taken in lighter vein as we know them well & very hospitable. I do not venture to kiss the gentleman:s wife, as it may look artificial for me. It all depends Soe are natural & you can feel it ?
But< I would never subscribe to the view that in a family with many relatives may misuse the chances deliberately ? Has any T. B has been charged of inappropriate behaviour in Pubic & work place, leave alone the so called RAPE ?
Rishikesan

 

[krish44]

Such hugging etc are rare in our Brahmin , that too tamil Brahmins & only stray cases like what has been stated above .
Max. I have seen was that when we both visited American friends , of my daughter, one family member , as we entered, just kissed my wife in the cheek, which had be taken in lighter vein as we know them well & very hospitable. I do not venture to kiss the gentleman:s wife, as it may look artificial for me. It all depends Soe are natural & you can feel it ?
But< I would never subscribe to the view that in a family with many relatives may misuse the chances deliberately ? Has any T. B has been charged of inappropriate behaviour in Pubic & work place, leave alone the so called RAPE ?
Rishikesan

rishikesanji
there is a saying ' Do unto others what others do to you"

you should have promptly reciprocated and added to indian -american friendship.

I am a Tamil brahmin in delhi since birth.

I celebrate holi and splash colours . I also celebrate Diwali at night also with north indians bursting crackers and exchanging sweets.

I also Hug all at the drop of a hat [though not kiss] all including ladies with gay abandon when I meet them after a long time

The bonhomie and warmth that is generated outweighs the risk of accusation of inappropriate behaviour.

pl try it sometime as advocated by renukaji

 

[renuka]

pl try it sometime as advocated by renukaji

Dear Krish ji,

I only asked Rishi Mama to hug his wife and child..I never asked him to become a serial hugger!LOL

 

[renuka]

BTW dear Krish ji,

Do people in the North hug each other for nothing at all..cos most of my friends there say No..they do not hug members of the opposite sex.

But once a North Indian doc here in Msia told me that he hugs all female guest that come to his house for Diwali and gives them a peck on their cheeks and his wife does the same with male guests.

Then he told me to come to his house for Diwali..I told him No way!

Then he told me "You look modern but you are a typical south indian who wont hug and kiss anyone"

Who wants to hug and kiss yaar..I dont like to touch people for no apparent reason.

But my other Nortie friends in India tell me they dont do such thing becos thats not part of Indian culture becos Indians are just supposed to greet but a Namaste and not even by shaking hands.

So I really dont know what is the exact hugging situation.

 

[biswa]

pl try it sometime as advocated by renukaji

But please stay away from RRji!

RRji, clearly the really naughty forum mamas were scared to visit your house.

 

[Raji Ram]

BTW dear Krish ji,

Do people in the North hug each other for nothing at all..cos most of my friends there say No..they do not hug members of the opposite sex.

But once a North Indian doc here in Msia told me that he hugs all female guest that come to his house for Diwali and gives them a peck on their cheeks and his wife does the same with male guests.

Then he told me to come to his house for Diwali..I told him No way!

Then he told me "You look modern but you are a typical south indian who wont hug and kiss anyone"

Who wants to hug and kiss yaar..I dont like to touch people for no apparent reason.

But my other Nortie friends in India tell me they dont do such thing becos thats not part of Indian culture becos Indians are just supposed to greet but a Namaste and not even by shaking hands.

So I really dont know what is the exact hugging situation.

Hmmmmmmmmm.... Happy to read your post, Renu!

At least ONCE you are traditional like ME!! :lol:

:hug: Situation?? Any gathering for Krish Sir and many others!

P.S: Krish Sir might not be informed of the next get together in Sing. Chennai, if it happens in my sweet home!! :becky:

 

[Raji Ram]

Are our old age homes the much desired vanprastha for the parents ?

but it is directly parlokam from there -no returning to son and DIL

Of course!! Everyone knows that!

 

[Raji Ram]

........... Yes ...its logic..the role of parents end when a child gets married............

Dear Renu,

I have snipped your rather lo...........ng post!

If your mom followed that logic and thought her role ended with your wedding, you should have sought a fake 'nAni'

to take care of your dear son! Writing in forum is much more easy than practically facing the problems in life!

P.S: There are many valuable relationships other than the 'intimate' one! :thumb:

 

[krish44]

Yesterday after the hug posts , I happened to hear on you tube Bharathiyars ' chinnanchiru kiliye . There is a stanza " kannathil muthaamittal .....' . I heard the version sung By

MLV and V N Sundaram.

Well the poet was a tamil vaishnavite brahmin.

As such kissing on the cheeks is not taboo among tamil brahmins it appears. comment RRji

 

[V.Balasubramani]

So I really dont know what is the exact hugging situation.

Doctor Mam,

In North they practice unique etiquette and customs as we have distinct and different legacy.

Public display of affection is limited, hence hugging and kissing opposite sex is a toboo here.

Husband and wife hug each other, hug kids, at times brothers and sisters.

Same sex will hug and kiss each other to show their regards and affection.

Normally, opposite sex who hugs each other in public are considered sisters and brothers which is a rarest of rare happening.

Shah Rukh Khan will hug Salman Khan, Arvind Keijriwal will hug Kapil Sibal, .....

In north they are equally proud about their legacy and custom.

And above all we have moral policing everywhere.

Just my two cents

P.S: Of course, there are crazy people too who tend to cross the lakshman rekha taking advantage of the situation/opportunity.

 

[renuka]

Dear Renu,

I have snipped your rather lo...........ng post!

If your mom followed that logic and thought her role ended with your wedding, you should have sought a fake 'nAni'

to take care of your dear son! Writing in forum is much more easy than practically facing the problems in life!

P.S: There are many valuable relationships other than the 'intimate' one! :thumb:

Dear RR ji,

Since she agreed to help out of love for her grandchild..I agreed..otherwise I would have not worked long hours or may be not worked at all.I would have gladly given up my job for sometime to look after my son.

But I have realized that a parents helping out to take care of grandchild comes with a lot of emotional black mail too and we are at their mercy at times.

So with all that in mind I wrote that parental role should end after a child gets married.I know I wont repeat this again..I will not look after my grandkids in future for some personal reasons.


So its was not as if I was writing something else and doing something else.

BTW one of the reasons she loves to take care of my son is becos she mainly thinks she does a better job than me even though I know I too can do a good job.

Coming to intimate relationships..that is always needed.

From who else are you going to get French Kiss from RR ji??

Not from Mama or Machan! Only from Spouse!LOL

Dear RR ji,

Today surprise your spouse..greet him at the door with a long Casablanca kiss!

 

[renuka]

Hmmmmmmmmm.... Happy to read your post, Renu!

At least ONCE you are traditional like ME!! :lol:

:hug: Situation?? Any gathering for Krish Sir and many others!

P.S: Krish Sir might not be informed of the next get together in Sing. Chennai, if it happens in my sweet home!! :becky:

Dear RR ji,

I hate shaking hands too.

There is one medical representative that loves to shake hands each time he comes and I when he comes I act as in I am on the phone and I ask him to sit down..so that he does not get to shake hands.

He keeps bragging on how much he is into deep meditation but I cant understand why he wants to shake hands.

I also avoid serial huggers and serial kissers..male or females both.

 

[renuka]

Doctor Mam,

In North they practice unique etiquette and customs as we have distinct and different legacy.

Public display of affection is limited, hence hugging and kissing opposite sex is a toboo here.

Dear sir,

That is what my friends told me too.

I agree with your post.

 

[Raji Ram]

Yesterday after the hug posts , I happened to hear on you tube Bharathiyars ' chinnanchiru kiliye . There is a stanza " kannathil muthaamittal .....' . I heard the version sung By

MLV and V N Sundaram.

Well the poet was a tamil vaishnavite brahmin.

As such kissing on the cheeks is not taboo among tamil brahmins it appears. comment RRji

ayyO! ayyyyO!

That 'chinnanchiRu kiLi' is the cute little kid 'KaNNammA' - the female version of tiny tot Krishna!

I remember the lyrics of a line from another song - 'PAppA pAttu pAdiya Bharathi nAnthAnE':

'KaNNan pAttaik kAmugan pAdi ooraik keduththAnE, en pEraik keduththAnE!' :dizzy:

 

[krish44]

VBJi has only reservations it appears about hugging in public.

his hugging list permits same sex[ homo or lesbians?] , children , brothers and sisters

one could add old friends if not strangers or chance acquaintances.

the hugging circle depends on extent of familiarity than anything else.

I think too much is being made out of simple hugging projecting such people as queer or sex maniacs. or act bordering on craziness.

first time I went abroad, to attend a multinational course[residential] in france,the professor in charge a french man hugged all at the time of parting . All westerners

reciprocated.warmly .

As an indian [ I was thirty five] I wondered whether He will do the same with me .well he did and also kissed me warmly in public on both cheeks,lol

even indian traditional indian women would do namaste to most indians here in india and show no hesitation for extending their hands for a shake when they are in europe

or US.I do not know of course if they wash their hands later to overcome their bad feelings of whitemans touch

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Renu,

If your son or d i l request you to take care of your grandkid, would you not follow your mom?

I know that your answer will be 'NOPE' because you know how to escape in any situation! :bolt:

 

[krish44]

ayyO! ayyyyO!

That 'chinnanchiRu kiLi' is the cute little kid 'KaNNammA' - the female version of tiny tot Krishna!

I remember the lyrics of a line from another song - 'PAppA pAttu pAdiya Bharathi nAnthAnE':

'KaNNan pAttaik kAmugan pAdi ooraik keduththAnE, en pEraik keduththAnE!' :dizzy:

If you see the video , The hero who sings it looks lovingly at lalitha one of travancore sisters , the heroine dancing to his rendering of the sentences mentioned.lol

now RRji you are making allowances for age.

the exception list extends with the times we live in

what was unacceptable is becoming common place now

 

[renuka]

Dear Renu,

If your son or d i l request you to take care of your grandkid, would you not follow your mom?

I know that your answer will be 'NOPE' because you know how to escape in any situation! :bolt:

I dont think I would.

 

[renuka]

even indian traditional indian women would do namaste to most indians here in india and show no hesitation for extending their hands for a shake when they are in europe

or US.I do not know of course if they wash their hands later to overcome their bad feelings of whitemans touch

Dear Krish ji,

Unless I am forced too..then I dont mind shaking hands...but if know the person fairly well I dont see any reason why I need to shake hands each time the person sees me especially if its job related.

Its not about washing hands or anything..its just that I am not comfortable shaking hands or hugging or kissing for that matter.

There a few patients that kiss me..they are old women..so I dont mind.

There have also been a case where a young male patient kissed me on my cheek in the hospital psychiatric ward..so that was excusable..becos he was not sane.