I C and I R weddings!

[CHANDRU1849]

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OK I will start with the last item case study first.

Case study 1

One tamil brahmin girl from an economically weak family wanted to marry a school mate a muslim boy.

Well educated both.She was a working girl and well employed. She approached her parents who knew the boy and his parents.

They did not agree to the match .

When the extended family got involved, some wanted to prevent the marriage.

However it was pointed out to them that they are not capable to find a brahmin match nor have the financial strength to help the girls parents, they withdrew.

They got married with blessings of both parents.

For their own security the couple after marriage emigrated to canada and are happy there.

Both keep their own religion and children are muslim as father is muslim.

Could any of them done something different.?

Why the children follow Islam? This is happening in film world also. Why did the mother not insist the children to follow her religion? Hindus, in general, and women, in particular, lack courage and of course discipline.

 

[renuka]

Often, it is claimed that today's youngsters go for inter-caste marriages because they want to be freed from the shackles of tradition, orthodoxy etc. There have been umpteen thread on IC/IR marriages and this claim is almost always made. However what we understand from Krish's post is that when the IC/IR couple become parents, they demand that they be allowed to choose a bride or groom from either community for their children. Isn't that hypocritical? Or is it a result of late realization or yearning to be a part of the community they once denounced or rejected?

Dear Sir,

Dont get me wrong for saying this..but from what I have observed usually if one parent is a TB then they tend to want their progeny to ONLY marry a TB.

Most Brahmins from other communities especially Northern Indian Brahmins do not really insist their hybrid kids should only marry a Brahmin.

In fact recently one full breed North Indian Brahmin..his son married a girl who is part Tamil NB and part Irish.

I personally feel TBs eventually miss their lifestyle and have a harder time adjusting to a new lifestyle.

My husband is a super hybrid .. having an Oriental grandparent...but his family didnt mind any type of Indian.

Me being a hybrid myself..my parents just wanted a decent Hindu match preferably a hybrid who allowed me to remain a vegetarian.

There are not many NB vegetarians where I live.

 

[Raji Ram]

Raji Mam, Don't you think a suitably worded poll would suit this purpose better? Not that I object to this thread or anything, but I feel there is very little fresh thoughts or inputs here. Same aracha maavu...

Dear K B Sir,

You are correct! But, we are never tired of 'arachcha mAvu'!

Poll may not work out because in Sravna's thread, there are only a few votes so far!

 

[கால பைரவன்]

Just think what would have happened to the girl if one fine morning the boy had come home, had a plateful of thyirsadam with maavadu offered by his brahmin wife and then called her and told her Talaq three times without break. That is just nothing in his culture and it is his right directly revealed in his holy books. But, for the poor brahmin girl what a bang it would be. That is why IR marriages are to be taken with a liberal dose of salt.

The elephant in the room that is being ignored. Predictably when such inconvenient questions are asked, there is a general diatribe against brahmins. Ooh you brahmins are as fundamentalist and extremist as the abrahamics. so your daughter deserves it. Ha Ha. What do you do now?

 

[Raji Ram]

Most of the parents are ready to accept these weddings, considering them as 'kAlaththin kOlam'! :sad:

 

[Raji Ram]

In olden days the four varNAs were based on the work done by the people and then came the subdivisions of jAti.

Now it is IT jAti, Doctor jAti, advocate jAti, artist jAti and so on............ And brahmins are the most liberal minded!

 

[krish44]

The elephant in the room that is being ignored. Predictably when such inconvenient questions are asked, there is a general diatribe against brahmins. Ooh you brahmins are as fundamentalist and extremist as the abrahamics. so your daughter deserves it. Ha Ha. What do you do now?

When a NB or from any other non hindu religion gets married to a brahmin do you realise what they undergo?

In extreme orthodox case disowning of the off spring .

In more cases reluctant acceptance that they should live separately and visit only on occassions if invited.

If accepted to live with inlaws under the same roof , a kind of apartheid being practised with the new entrant.

It takes years before they are trusted and treated as family.

I have a relation a brahmin boy married to a syrian christian who after getting disowned ,got some acceptance after twenty plus years.

Both made up for it by supporting boys parents in last days.

Both religeously perform annual shraddh for his parents with girl donning nine yards saree.

 

[krish44]

In case brahmin girls marrying those from other religions it is more humourous.

Girl related to me goes to all lengths to protect her husband from her own family -parents and others.

She made him adopt hindu way of living, performed all rituals making him a willing party to it.

At grahapravesam of their home as per hindu rituals which I attended ,she lent him her gothra for the religious ceremony.lol

She ensured that her daughter married another tamil brahmin.

Well this is all love is about.

 

[tbs]

In case brahmin girls marrying those from other religions it is more humourous.

Girl related to me goes to all lengths to protect her husband from her own family -parents and others.

She made him adopt hindu way of living, performed all rituals making him a willing party to it.

At grahapravesam of their home as per hindu rituals which I attended ,she lent him her gothra for the religious ceremony.lol

She ensured that her daughter married another tamil brahmin.

Well this is all love is about.

hi

another ELICHAVVAYAN AMMANJI....LOL

 

[krish44]

hi

another ELICHAVVAYAN AMMANJI....LOL

TBSgaru

Most brahmin girls in IC/IR marriages would do anything to get legitimacy within their own caste for their children and not face the difficulties they had undergone.

It is normal aspiration.

By spurning them we are not doing anything holy.

 

[tbs]

TBSgaru

Most brahmin girls in IC/IR marriages would do anything to get legitimacy within their own caste for their children and not face the difficulties they had undergone.

It is normal aspiration.

By spurning them we are not doing anything holy.

hi sir,

its not....we are holy or not....i know one more story that they want their child get POONAL CEREMONY TOO...some months

back...like this couple ...they want their child's ayushoma like tamil brahmin system...i feel sad with them...they dont

like brahmin system....but they want their kids follow ONLY BRAHMIN SYSTEM....where is the logic?....

 

[krish44]

If one goes to social media to see preferance of indian youth ,most think that only inferior persons opt for arranged marriages.

They would largely like to socialise with those of other gender, have boy friends and girl friends and get into relationships.

They would like to approach parents if and when they would like to marry.

If the relationship ends before that, so be it and move on.

Thats new india even in tier 2 or 3 cities.

Parents just have the choice to say yes or get lost.

So parents can maturely think nod before getting rejected by children for life.

The issue is who needs whom .

Age is on the side of youngsters.

 

[Raji Ram]

...its not....we are holy or not....i know one more story that they want their child get POONAL CEREMONY TOO...some months

back...like this couple ...they want their child's ayushoma like tamil brahmin system...i feel sad with them...they dont

like brahmin system....but they want their kids follow ONLY BRAHMIN SYSTEM....where is the logic?....

Logic, TBS Sir? Simple.

How else to boast (?) that they ARE brahmins though they are liberal enough NOT to follow brahmin customs everyday!

 

[Raji Ram]

If one goes to social media to see preferance of indian youth ,most think that only inferior persons opt for arranged marriages.......

:nono: Krish Sir! No generalization please.

There are many highly placed youngsters, who allow their parents to do the initial search and then decide after skype-ing

and if they like each other meet in person. Some youngsters enter live-in relationship but it is not yet at an alarming rate.

BTW, do you know that tambrahm guys are afraid of girls in a certain metro? (don't want to mention which one!)

 

[tbs]

:nono: Krish Sir! No generalization please.

There are many highly placed youngsters, who allow their parents to do the initial search and then decide after skype-ing

and if they like each other meet in person. Some youngsters enter live-in relationship but it is not yet at an alarming rate.

BTW, do you know that tambrahm guys are afraid of girls in a certain metro? (don't want to mention which one!)

hi

mumbai ki gaadi/mumbai ki ladki kisi keliye rukti nahi...its just proverb....means the bus/girl in mumbai.....waiting

for none....

 

[Raji Ram]

​Sorry, it is NOT Mumbai.

 

[tbs]

​Sorry, it is NOT Mumbai.

hi

dilwale dilliwale hote hai......

 

[Raji Ram]

It is NOT Delhi either. And.......... no more clues!! :becky:

 

[krish44]

:nono: Krish Sir! No generalization please.

There are many highly placed youngsters, who allow their parents to do the initial search and then decide after skype-ing

and if they like each other meet in person. Some youngsters enter live-in relationship but it is not yet at an alarming rate.

BTW, do you know that tambrahm guys are afraid of girls in a certain metro? (don't want to mention which one!)

OK

I will send you the name of social media site frequented most by youngsters all over india

It belongs to the facebook group.

You can log in and see yourself.

 

[Raji Ram]

F B? I don't like it!

 

[krish44]

I too do not like facebook or twitter

It is a sister site aimed at youngsters.

Most youngsters are hooked to it.

It will give you the pulse of young indians .

I read it to appraise myself as to what these young are upto.

If one has to deal with them ,one must be on their wave length.

When I get tired of TB site , I switch over to that.

That kind of restores the balance.

 

[krish44]

When I look for match,I look for tamilnadu based only if the need is for a traditional girl.

I try karnataka [My community has a large number of eligible girls in karnataka -hebbar or mandYam type. One can find them both traditional and liberal.

If I want some dating before marriage types, Best would be poona ,mumbai belt or delhi..

I keep away from US or foreign based.

With marriage material born and brought up in india, it could be a total disaster.

Our boys cannot cope with anyone with totally liberal make up and those believing in gender equality.lol

I do not mind singapore based -where you find career types with an open mind where girl decides and boy agrees.

 

[biswa]

Krishji, the way you have used "I" it almost seems like you are looking for yourself!

 

[krish44]

Krishji, the way you have used "I" it almost seems like you are looking for yourself!

Lol

 

[Raji Ram]

Krishji, the way you have used "I" it almost seems like you are looking for yourself!

:thumb: I too thought so!!