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Do you accept or Not..?...[ TVK ]

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Envy starts when one does not get what they want inspite of their best efforts. It is a normal human reaction depending on the level of evolution of the society. A deeply reflecting and understanding society would not have the same envy % as compared to a society where the emphasis is on individual growth (for example).

Education can help a lot in this aspect. I feel that the primary years of a kid should be on developing their emotional intelligence rather than any other. This would ensure that learning (of any sort) is in the appropriate direction. Everyone would learn to appreciate the nature of diversity, and recognize their own inner yearning.
 
There are some senior citizens who grumble about health as a way of life and to elicit sympathy. ...........
Yeah! Lamenting is a part of life for some seniors. :(

Yesterday, I got a 'pudhuk kavithai' from my friend, which is written by his friend.

His kavithai is in black and my answers are in blue! Here it goes:

ஆருக்கும் வாய்ப்பதில்லை !

காரிருக்கு வீடிருக்கு கையினிலும் பணமிருக்கு
பலபேரின் நட்பிருக்கு பரிசுகளும் குவிந்திருக்கு
என்றாலும் மனத்தளவில் என்னவோ குறையிருக்கு
எதுவென்று தெரியாமல் ஏக்கமே நிறைந்திருக்கு !

முதுமையை மறப்போம்!

நிறைகளை மட்டுமே எண்ணி,
குறைகளை மறக்கப் பழகி,
நிறைவான மனச் சாந்தி
குறையாது பெற்றிடுவோம்!

முதுமைவரும் காரணமா முறுவல்வர மறுப்பதுவா
தனிமைவரும் எனும்நினைப்பு தலைதூக்கி வருவதுவா
ஓடியோடி உழைத்துவாங்கி உள்வீட்டில் சேர்த்ததெலாம்
யாரினிமேல் பார்த்திடுவார் எனுமெண்ணம் எழுவதுவா !

முதுமையை நினைக்காமல்
முறுவல் செய்ய விழைந்தால்,
சேர்த்து வைத்த பொருள் பற்றிச்
சிந்தனைகள் தாக்கிடாது!

பிறந்தநாள் வருவதனை பெரும்பாலும் விரும்பவில்லை
குறைந்தநாள் ஆகிடுமோ எனுமேக்கம் வந்துநிற்கும்
பட்சணங்கள் செய்தாலும் பசிகூட வருவதில்லை
இஷ்டமுடன் அதைச்சுவைக்க இனிப்புநோய் விடுவதில்லை !

பிறந்த நாளில் நம்முடைய
சிறந்த பெற்றோரை நினைத்து,
இனிப்பு உண்ண விடாத
இனிப்புக் குருதி மறந்திடுவோம்!

பிள்ளைகளோ அவர்பாட்டில் பேரர்களோ விளையாட்டில்
மருமக்கள் எமைக்கண்டால் மெளனமாய் சிரித்திடுவார்
எமையொத்த வயதுடையார் இயலாமை காரணத்தால்
ஏங்கித் தவிப்பதனை இன்ரநெற்றில் பார்த்துநிற்போம் !

நம் இளமைக் காலத்தில்
நாம் செய்த செயல்களையே
நம் முதுமைக் காலத்தில்
நம் இளையோர் செய்கின்றார்!

காலையில் எழுவதற்குக் காரணமும் தெரிவதில்லை
மாலைவந்து விட்டதென மணிக்கூடு காட்டிநிற்கும்
பாயிலே எமக்குமுன்னே நோய்வந்து படுத்துவிடும்
பதறிநாம் துடித்தாலும் பார்த்தபடி சிரித்துநிற்கும் !

இறைவன் அருளும் ஆயுளில்
இறைவனையே சரணடைந்தால்,
பலாச்சுளை மேல் ஈ போலப்
பற்றும் நோயை மனம் மறக்கும்!

கலைநிகழ்ச்சி கல்யாணம் காண்பதற்குச் சென்றாலும்
பலபேரும் எம்பக்கம் பார்த்திடவே மாட்டார்கள்
சிலவேளை பார்த்தாலும் திரும்பாமல் சென்றிடுவார்
அதுவே எம்மனநிலையை அடியோடு மாற்றிவிடும் !

நாம் உதவி மறவா நெஞ்சின்
நல்லழைப்பை மட்டும் ஏற்றால்,
உளம் குளிர வரவேற்பும்,
உபசரிப்பும் கிடைத்துவிடும்!

முதுமைபற்றி நினைத்துவிட்டால்
முகங்கூட மாறிவிடும்
எதுவுமே எங்களுக்கு
எதிரியாய்தான் தெரியும்

வயது ஓர் எண்ணே என
மனது எண்ண விழைந்தால்,
தளர்ச்சி மறந்து போகும்;
மலர்ச்சி முகத்தில் வரும்!

உடல்தளர்ந்து போனாலும்
உளம்தளர்ந்து போகாமல்
உளம்நிறைய மகிழ்ச்சிதனை
ஊற்றெடுக்கச் செய்திடுவோம் !

உடல் தளர்ந்து போனாலும்,
உளம் மகிழ நுண்கலைகள்
கண்டு, கேட்டு ரசிக்கும்
தன்மையை வளர்த்திடுவோம்!

எமையொதுக்கி நிற்பவரும்
இந்நிலைக்கு வந்திடுவார்
இலையுதிர்வு நிலையதனை
இயற்கையே கொடுத்திருக்கு

நமையொதுக்கி நிற்பவரின்
இந்நிலையைக் காணாமல்
இறையடியை நாம் அடையக்
குறையின்றி தியானிப்போம்!

தலைநரைக்கும் பல்லுவிழும்
தளர்வுவந்து தாக்கிவிடும்
அதைத்தவிர்த்து வாழ்ந்துவிடல்
ஆருக்கும் வாய்ப்பதில்லை !

தலை நரைக்கு Dye யிருக்கு;
தளர்வுக்கு Stick இருக்கு!
இதைத் தவிர்த்து வாழ்வதற்கு
நிறை ஆயுள் கூடாது!
 
the-naked-truth-is-always-better-than-the-best-dressed-lie-8.jpg

Source: Google images

Not always true.
As an example, there is a an old story of a monk who was meditating happily in the sun outside his cave when a beautiful but very distressed damsel came running up to him. “Help me,” she cried. “There’s a very bad man, a robber, who is trying to kill me. Please, let me hide in your cave.” Without waiting for a reply, the girl ran into his cave and hid in the dark interior. The monk had not said a word and, although slightly perturbed, he continued to meditate. A few minutes later a wild-looking man with a patch on one eye came galloping up on a black horse. When he saw the monk, he stopped and yelled at him, “Have you seen a young woman? I must find her.” Being a celibate, the monk quite calmly said to the robber, “What would I be doing with a woman?” To which the man galloped on.
The monk did not lie, nor did he honestly answer the question. However, by avoiding the truth he saved three lives: the girl’s; his own, as the robber would have had to kill him for being a witness; and the robber’s, who would have been killed as punishment.

Everything we think, say and do has an immediate effect on everyone around us. This means that our words and actions can lead to chaos and destruction as easily as they can lead to healing and friendship. So it would seem that sometimes avoiding the truth or maybe watering it down can be the more moral and compassionate act. A white lie can save a situation from getting badly out of hand.

With this awareness, we are able to discern between times when actions and words are either skillful or unskillful, where we are being a help or a hindrance. Skillful action brings out the best in each situation, such as harmlessness and generosity, while unskillful actions maintain and reinforce separation; they are basically harmful and self-centered. Their primary concern is protecting the “me.”

But while there are bad lies that are destructive and self-centered, there are also good lies that serve to not cause harm.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ed-and-deb-shapiro/when-telling-a-lie-is-right_b_841017.html
This story is repeated in various Avatars by different storytellers.
 
Dear Renu,

If our parents inculcate good values in us right from childhood, we will NOT envy others.

But envying is natural to humans and hence our Gurus teach us not to envy.

Thiruvalluvar says the righteous path is to avoid envy, desire, anger and bad words. I think the sequence is perfect!

Because, envy will result in desire; desire will result in anger (by not getting what was wished for); anger results in

using harsh words.

அழுக்காறு அவாவெகுளி இன்னாச்சொல் நான்கும்
இழுக்கா இயன்றது அறம்

azhukkARu avAvekuLi innAchchol nAngum
izhukkA iyandradhu aRam -
(KuraL 35)

Dear RR ji,

I still somehow feel envy isnt entire normal to humans...envy is a sign of total lack of acknowledgment of another's ability.

I feel its a defect to feel envy.

I will relate an incident when I was a teen...I used to be very good in sports and held the district record for 100 Meters and High Jump for 3 years when I was teen...then one fine day a new girl from a different school came for competition and she was very good in 100 meters running and initially she was slightly slower than me but then she started to be as fast as me and finally she became faster than me.
I trained hard to win...without any envy..in fact we used to train together cos we both had to compete at state level..
She finally beat me at the state level.

I did not feel envious of her...she was a worthy opponent..I took as an honour to lose to her cos she and I trained well togther both helping each other excel.

I trained real hard..so did she..so what is there to be envious?


I feel by adopting this way of thinking that we accept our shortcomings despite trying our best..we should not feel envious of the opponent and feel honored if we lose out to a worthy person even if he/she could be the rival.
 
Yeah! Lamenting is a part of life for some seniors. :(

Yesterday, I got a 'pudhuk kavithai' from my friend, which is written by his friend.

His kavithai is in black and my answers are in blue! Here it goes:

ஆருக்கும் வாய்ப்பதில்லை !

காரிருக்கு வீடிருக்கு கையினிலும் பணமிருக்கு
பலபேரின் நட்பிருக்கு பரிசுகளும் குவிந்திருக்கு
என்றாலும் மனத்தளவில் என்னவோ குறையிருக்கு
எதுவென்று தெரியாமல் ஏக்கமே நிறைந்திருக்கு !

முதுமையை மறப்போம்!

நிறைகளை மட்டுமே எண்ணி,
குறைகளை மறக்கப் பழகி,
நிறைவான மனச் சாந்தி
குறையாது பெற்றிடுவோம்!

முதுமைவரும் காரணமா முறுவல்வர மறுப்பதுவா
தனிமைவரும் எனும்நினைப்பு தலைதூக்கி வருவதுவா
ஓடியோடி உழைத்துவாங்கி உள்வீட்டில் சேர்த்ததெலாம்
யாரினிமேல் பார்த்திடுவார் எனுமெண்ணம் எழுவதுவா !

முதுமையை நினைக்காமல்
முறுவல் செய்ய விழைந்தால்,
சேர்த்து வைத்த பொருள் பற்றிச்
சிந்தனைகள் தாக்கிடாது!

பிறந்தநாள் வருவதனை பெரும்பாலும் விரும்பவில்லை
குறைந்தநாள் ஆகிடுமோ எனுமேக்கம் வந்துநிற்கும்
பட்சணங்கள் செய்தாலும் பசிகூட வருவதில்லை
இஷ்டமுடன் அதைச்சுவைக்க இனிப்புநோய் விடுவதில்லை !

பிறந்த நாளில் நம்முடைய
சிறந்த பெற்றோரை நினைத்து,
இனிப்பு உண்ண விடாத
இனிப்புக் குருதி மறந்திடுவோம்!

பிள்ளைகளோ அவர்பாட்டில் பேரர்களோ விளையாட்டில்
மருமக்கள் எமைக்கண்டால் மெளனமாய் சிரித்திடுவார்
எமையொத்த வயதுடையார் இயலாமை காரணத்தால்
ஏங்கித் தவிப்பதனை இன்ரநெற்றில் பார்த்துநிற்போம் !

நம் இளமைக் காலத்தில்
நாம் செய்த செயல்களையே
நம் முதுமைக் காலத்தில்
நம் இளையோர் செய்கின்றார்!

காலையில் எழுவதற்குக் காரணமும் தெரிவதில்லை
மாலைவந்து விட்டதென மணிக்கூடு காட்டிநிற்கும்
பாயிலே எமக்குமுன்னே நோய்வந்து படுத்துவிடும்
பதறிநாம் துடித்தாலும் பார்த்தபடி சிரித்துநிற்கும் !

இறைவன் அருளும் ஆயுளில்
இறைவனையே சரணடைந்தால்,
பலாச்சுளை மேல் ஈ போலப்
பற்றும் நோயை மனம் மறக்கும்!

கலைநிகழ்ச்சி கல்யாணம் காண்பதற்குச் சென்றாலும்
பலபேரும் எம்பக்கம் பார்த்திடவே மாட்டார்கள்
சிலவேளை பார்த்தாலும் திரும்பாமல் சென்றிடுவார்
அதுவே எம்மனநிலையை அடியோடு மாற்றிவிடும் !

நாம் உதவி மறவா நெஞ்சின்
நல்லழைப்பை மட்டும் ஏற்றால்,
உளம் குளிர வரவேற்பும்,
உபசரிப்பும் கிடைத்துவிடும்!

முதுமைபற்றி நினைத்துவிட்டால்
முகங்கூட மாறிவிடும்
எதுவுமே எங்களுக்கு
எதிரியாய்தான் தெரியும்

வயது ஓர் எண்ணே என
மனது எண்ண விழைந்தால்,
தளர்ச்சி மறந்து போகும்;
மலர்ச்சி முகத்தில் வரும்!

உடல்தளர்ந்து போனாலும்
உளம்தளர்ந்து போகாமல்
உளம்நிறைய மகிழ்ச்சிதனை
ஊற்றெடுக்கச் செய்திடுவோம் !

உடல் தளர்ந்து போனாலும்,
உளம் மகிழ நுண்கலைகள்
கண்டு, கேட்டு ரசிக்கும்
தன்மையை வளர்த்திடுவோம்!

எமையொதுக்கி நிற்பவரும்
இந்நிலைக்கு வந்திடுவார்
இலையுதிர்வு நிலையதனை
இயற்கையே கொடுத்திருக்கு

நமையொதுக்கி நிற்பவரின்
இந்நிலையைக் காணாமல்
இறையடியை நாம் அடையக்
குறையின்றி தியானிப்போம்!

தலைநரைக்கும் பல்லுவிழும்
தளர்வுவந்து தாக்கிவிடும்
அதைத்தவிர்த்து வாழ்ந்துவிடல்
ஆருக்கும் வாய்ப்பதில்லை !

தலை நரைக்கு Dye யிருக்கு;
தளர்வுக்கு Stick இருக்கு!
இதைத் தவிர்த்து வாழ்வதற்கு
நிறை ஆயுள் கூடாது!
There is a nice hindi song

Sung by talat mehmood and mohd. rafi

'Gum ki andheri raat me ,dil ho na bekrar kar. Subha jaroor ayegi ,subha ka intezar kar'

This is on youtube

It says when you have sorrow, do not get despondent,a fresh morning will dawn, wait for it.

The complete song has been beautifully written and composed to music.
 
Not always true.

But while there are bad lies that are destructive and self-centered, there are also good lies that serve to not cause harm.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ed-and-deb-shapiro/when-telling-a-lie-is-right_b_841017.html
This story is repeated in various Avatars by different storytellers.

Prasad Ji,

Here is another story....

Always try to speak the truth...

Telling the truth is a very good habit. If you always speak the truth, you can save yourselves from lots of trouble!

Here is the story of a man, who did a lot of bad things, but his promise to tell the truth saved him.This is a true story, so read it carefully.

Once a man came to the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and said, “Oh Prophet of Allah, I have many bad habits. Which one of them should I give up first?”

The Prophet said, “Give up telling lies first and always speak the truth.” The man promised to do so and went home.
At night the man was about to go out to steal. Before setting out, he thought for a moment about the promise he made with

the Prophet. “If tomorrow the Prophet asks me where have I been, what shall I say?

Shall I say that I went out stealing? No, I cannot say that. But nor can I lie. If I tell the truth, everyone will start hating me and call me a thief. I would be punished for stealing.”

So the man decided not to steal that night, and gave up this bad habit.

Next day, he felt like drinking wine, when he was about to do so, he said to himself, “What shall I say to the prophet if he asks me what did I do during the day? I cannot tell a lie, and if I speak the truth people will hate me, because a Muslim is not allowed to drink wine.”

And so he gave up the idea of drinking wine.

In this way, whenever the man thought of doing something bad, he remembered his promise to tell the truth at all times. One by one, he gave up all his bad habits and became a good Muslim and a very good person.

MORAL: Make a promise: I shall always speak the truth.

Soure:
https://moralsandethics.wordpress.com/2007/11/27/always-speak-the-truth/

Truth alone trumphs - Sathyameva Jayate
 
Dear Renu,
As I wrote earlier, it is the upbringing by the parents that makes a good person. :angel:

Some parents keep on pressurizing their children to be always first in the class / sports! I have seen a few moms who ask the kid to say

all the answers, soon after getting out of the examination hall. Such children are unable to accept the success of another and become

envious too. If children are taught to do their best and await the result, it will make their minds much more stable.

Recently, lot of suicides are happening because of failure in exams / in love! :sad:
 
........... But while there are bad lies that are destructive and self-centered, there are also good lies that serve to not cause harm. .........
Dear Prasad Sir,

Very true! Words (at times lies :) ), that brings no harm to anyone is acceptable and considered 'vAymai', as per ThirukkuraL.

''vAymai enappaduvadhu yAdhenin yAdhondrum
theemai ilAdha solal.''

We face several situations in life, when we have to hide a truth or even tell a lie, to save the good relationships in our family! :)

 
IMHO opinion, minimum interference from parents makes children better.

They cope better than others who get [mis] guided by parents and they learn thru experience.

I have not done badly without any indoctrination by parents.

When I got second rank in univ, my parent thought I had passed in second class. You know outward appearances can lie about hidden academiic geniuses.lol

Since I never got formal directions on anything, I learnt by experimentation.

I did not face moral pressures of following any particular path .

Only those who are protected by families find themselves getting into suicide loops on failure in love or academics.

Battle hardened guys like me living on self belief move on for fresh pastures on failures on any front.

My philosophy is carry on boys -there are too many things to do in life to be held down by so called failure of any sort.

When the front door is closed, always find out if there is a backdoor or if you can jump over the wall.

This is what staying in hostels taught me.lol
 

Prasad Ji,

You may be right.

Stories may be there stressing the importance of truth, harmful truths and harmless lies.

And there are lot of things that contribute for one to practice truth in real life leave alone upbringing by parents

For example most of us have minimum two or three birth days..

If you ask anyone, he may say ….this is my 'Star birth day'…… this is 'date birth day' and ……. this is my 'for the sake of age' etc

Most of them would have given fake birth day while entering service in Government and would be retiring from service on attaining superannuation. But the actual date may differ….

And where is truth..???

In Court the Applicant, Respondents, Witnesses will be asked to take the oath as testimony '
everything or anything he will speak will be nothing but the truth. And everyone dutifully take the oath and ......

Can we say all of them speak the truth……??

While there can be only one truth, how come these parties submit two statements after taking oath on a Holy book…??

This upbrining is also another well dressed lie IMO

It may be the circumstance..... that determines... what to speak either truth or lie.

Have we not seen many in this Forum come with lot of stories…

And who knows these are true..

Most may be for the sake time pass
… !!
 
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We need not emulate the father of the nation as far as speaking the truth is concerned.

I see no harm in pleasant lying if it gives happiness to others.

Of course , always tell women they are pretty and reserve judgement on appearances.

Keep quiet for peace all around at home than explicitly speaking the truth that some are idiots[Domestic peace is more important than honest truth].

Who wants frank fools who shout out the obvious truth around specially if they are old and senile?
 
And the truth is, we have conveniently, as usual, derailed the thread.

And there is one Member who will justify this act of most of us.. LOL
 
Satyameva jayate is cause of downfall of many.

Hrishikesh mukherji made a film satyakam about an engineer who refuses to compromise with truth and his colleague who tries to help him knowing him .

Interesting .

available on youtube for a free afternoon viewing
 
IMHO opinion, minimum interference from parents makes children better. ..... l
It depends on the virtues of the parents, Krish Sir! :D

BTW, I have seen many good children of bad parents. This is a real credit to those children who grow up as good citizens. :thumb:

Also, those born to fighting parents often opt for a love marriage. :)
 
Between outright lie and absolute truth, there are various shades.

It is not a zero or one proposition.

So there can be a healthy mix ensuring it is harmless and add to overall good and happiness.
 
It depends on the virtues of the parents, Krish Sir! :D

BTW, I have seen many good children of bad parents. This is a real credit to those children who grow up as good citizens. :thumb:

Also, those born to fighting parents often opt for a love marriage. :)
My children are good.In fact they are excellent.

thats not because of my upbringing let me confess. Thats inspite of me.

I detested being called for parent teacher meetings of my children. My kids used to love going with me. I had the good habit of only half listening what teachers

said about my children and never ask them about it.After the event go for a wild celebration with my children and not tell my better half about what happened in

school.

I have signed progress reports without saying a word about numbers there.

So I suppose they are good children inspite of me

Love marriage does not depend on parents. Parents expectation is they should have a say in selection of spouse of children.

This is a misplaced expectation in modern days of late marriages.

Children know better than parents as regards whom they want as mate.

It is sensible to keep mum and bless them if they ask for it.
 
There was a popular TV Talk Show by Aamir Khan Satyameva Jayate. It was very popular touching sensational topics and social issues prevalent in India such as female foeticide, child sexual abuse, rape, honour killings, domestic violence, untouchability, alcoholism, and the criminalization of politics.

This programme was aired on various channels and the first one was during May 2012, second in March 2014 and the third in October 2014.

Of course people who wear blinds and who have very narrow mind set may not be knowing all this.
 
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Good confession, Krish Sir! :)

But, I give full credit to my parents for inculcating virtues in me. :hail:

As you say, kids are smarter in this generation and learn good or bad by themselves.

So, thank God for making your children good citizens!! :D

 
The same Aamir khan talked about his wife suggesting they leave the country because of intolerance.

Following the path of satya and speaking frankly about his fears brought him brickbats
 
Raji Ram;364321[FONT=georgia said:

But, I give full credit to my parents for inculcating virtues in me. :hail:

[/FONT]

My children are good..

This is typical self boasting....

Members who are ego centered come here to publicize their alleged virtues...

Since no one else speak, they have no other alternative except to blow their own horn.. LOL

Please go ahead... who knows the real values, real virtues and real goodness...??
 
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The same Aamir khan talked about his wife suggesting they leave the country because of intolerance.

Following the path of satya and speaking frankly about his fears brought him brickbats


You also get brick bats and I also get brick bats...

Can you point out a single person who has not get into any trouble..??

Especially those who follow Sathyam will certainly get more brick bats initially..

And don't link irrelevant issues and dilute the argument.
 
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