Beating and controlling wives ..

[Ashokindeed]

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1 reason may be....>>>>

2 reason no way, because they have two children inside the home....

kids were also pushing him out...!!!

There are many reasons why a wife pushes her husband and locks him out of the house..I can think only of two reasons now.

1)She is mad with him cos he was seen with another woman

2)There is another man in the house and she doesn't want hubby dear to get into the house and find out!!!


Note: this is just a general statement and might not be the actual reason in the original case you saw happening near your flat.

 

[sunkan]

Now a days,

Situation is different " husbands are beaten by wives "

I have seen near my flat, a housewife was pushing her husband out of the apartment and locks the door..??

dear ashok,
she must be driven to do that by him, some never learn and let me tell you the girl alone is not at fault the man too
either way they should take appropriate action as marriage is an abode of tantrum and ego so one has to be very careful every time confrontation start...sunkan

 

[Ashokindeed]

http://www.tamilbrahmins.com/literature/8453-a-8.html


Go through this link..!!!

 

[sarma-61]

Man beating his wife is a common occurrence in many states in India. I suppose the Islam allows this practice too. This might have been an ancient practice but in today's context it looks as though the male is more disadvantaged (by laws). Hence it will be wise for any unmarried male to think twice before getting married.

I have seen a few youngsters who are obstinately refusing to get married after witnessing their erstwhile friends' suffering. They now jocularly say, "Why buy a cow when getting milk is no more risky?"

 

[BostonSankara]

Smt. Visalakshi,

Yes unfortunately it was successful. The scumbag went on to have a brief career in pornography before FINALLY disappearing from the public eye. Ewe! What a gross man.

But the problem started because the husband was spiritually high!

A question to the doctor in the forum...
Was the operation successful and
was he able to operate after the operation???

From wikipedia.

During the night of June 23, 1993, John Wayne Bobbitt arrived at the couple's apartment in Manassas, Virginia, highly intoxicated after a night of partying. According to testimony given by Lorena Bobbitt in a 1994 court hearing, he then raped her. (In 1994 he was tried for and acquitted of spousal rape, prosecuted by the same district attorney who prosecuted Lorena for attacking her husband.) Afterwards, Lorena Bobbitt got out of bed and went to the kitchen for a drink of water. According to an article in the National Women's Studies Association Journal, while in the kitchen she noticed a carving knife on the counter and "memories of past domestic abuses raced through her head." Grabbing the knife, Lorena Bobbitt entered the bedroom where John was sleeping and proceeded to cut off nearly half of his penis.

After assaulting her husband, Lorena left the apartment with the severed penis, drove a short while, then rolled down the car window and threw the penis into a field. Realizing the severity of the incident, she stopped and called 911. After an exhaustive search, the penis was located, packed in ice, and taken to the hospital where John Bobbitt was being treated.

The penis was reattached by Drs. James T. Sehn and David Berman during a nine-and-a-half-hour operation.[SUP]


[/SUP]

 

[renuka]

1 reason may be....>>>>

2 reason no way, because they have two children inside the home....

kids were also pushing him out...!!!

LOL!!! reason No 2 is funny or may be the kids prefer the new man.

I know of a recent divorce case where the wife managed to convince the kids to hate their father and now the kids are attached to their mums lover and hate their father.

The cause of the divorce was the wife was having an affair with another man.
The divorce settlement was messy that I was thinking its better to make a pre nuptial agreement these days so that no one just walks away with property they didnt put a single cent it.

Many woman these days just live off their husbands..do NOT contribute even one cent of their earnings to home but keep spending husbands money.
They also do not contribute any money when buying property like houses and when they divorce for what ever reason some get to walk away with 50% of property and even get to keep the house.

Just imagine..they contributed nothing but walk away with almost everything.

I sometimes wonder why people have no shame to demand what they never put any money and effort in.

A pre nuptial agreement should be encouraged these days to prevent all this complications.

 

[vgane]

Understand as per new law if husband buys property in his name from his own source of funds & when there is marital discord followed by divorce then wife is eligible to get 50% share of all properties irrespective of whether her name is in the property document or not..I think this law would help lots of women who were earlier cheated...If you are a housewife how can you expect earning power.

 

[renuka]

Understand as per new law if husband buys property in his name from his own source of funds & when there is marital discord followed by divorce then wife is eligible to get 50% share of all properties irrespective of whether her name is in the property document or not..I think this law would help lots of women who were earlier cheated...If you are a housewife how can you expect earning power.

Dear vgane,

I was talking about working women who have maids ..who spend all husbands money and never contribute to the house even a cent or by even doing any housework.Believe me many men suffer too.

Innocent housewives are a different story cos they slog day in and day out at work so thats fine if they get 50% cos they have contributed to the home by work and dedication.

 

[Subhalakshmi]

My generation did so much for the husband and the family and a woman does not leave so easily, she puts in everything she has that she has absolute no identity.. but in spite of that the husband treats her like garbage, but today the women are a lot smarter, and they earn and share or sometimes, don't and put money separately, I am not saying it is good or bad, but I agree with pre-nup definitely, that way, both parties will be aware of the consequences, but again, there are some situations you just have no choice but to leave, whether it is a woman or a man, I have seen abused women and I have seen abused men, and continue to see very sad cases, here and in India..

 

[renuka]

My generation did so much for the husband and the family and a woman does not leave so easily, she puts in everything she has that she has absolute no identity.. but in spite of that the husband treats her like garbage, but today the women are a lot smarter, and they earn and share or sometimes, don't and put money separately, I am not saying it is good or bad, but I agree with pre-nup definitely, that way, both parties will be aware of the consequences, but again, there are some situations you just have no choice but to leave, whether it is a woman or a man, I have seen abused women and I have seen abused men, and continue to see very sad cases, here and in India..

Dear Subbuji,

Nowadays its a trend here too for girls to be too demanding.
I have seen many girls who are lesser educated and not good looking either but have sky high demands.

They even demand cars from future husband before marriage saying "if you want me to drive then you buy me the latest model Toyota/Honda etc."
They do not even want local made cars.

None of us female doctors demanded such things from our husbands.
All of us bought our own cars before marriage itself and after marriage combined income to purchase houses and extra cars.

Nowadays no one wants to build a home together.They want instant luxury.
Some girls have nothing much to offer in terms of education,looks or money but want an instant luxurious life like making a bowl of instant noodles.

These are the types that eventually financially ruin a husband.

 

[Ashokindeed]

Renuka mam

What is the secret behind " A doctor marrying a doctor???"

why not with others ?????

Dear Subbuji,

Nowadays its a trend here too for girls to be too demanding.
I have seen many girls who are lesser educated and not good looking either but have sky high demands.

They even demand cars from future husband before marriage saying "if you want me to drive then you buy me the latest model Toyota/Honda etc."
They do not even want local made cars.

None of us female doctors demanded such things from our husbands.
All of us bought our own cars before marriage itself and after marriage combined income to purchase houses and extra cars.

Nowadays no one wants to build a home together.They want instant luxury.
Some girls have nothing much to offer in terms of education,looks or money but want an instant luxurious life like making a bowl of instant noodles.

These are the types that eventually financially ruin a husband.

 

[renuka]

Renuka mam

What is the secret behind " A doctor marrying a doctor???"

why not with others ?????

My dear...I married an engineer.
Never liked any of the doctor mappillais who came.They looked like nerds!!LOL

 

[Ashokindeed]

Exceptional case ..!!!

First time...till today ..!!!

My dear...I married an engineer.
Never liked any of the doctor mappillais who came.They looked like nerds!!LOL

 

[renuka]

Exceptional case ..!!!

First time...till today ..!!!

Not really..so many of my female doctors friends have married engineers too.
Some have married pilots,lawyers,veterinarians,MBA's and one person I know even married an actor.

 

[Ashokindeed]

அதெல்லாம் "லெமூரியா கண்டத்தோட " போச்சு ..!!!

My generation did so much for the husband and the family and a woman does not leave so easily, she puts in everything she has that she has absolute no identity.. but in spite of that the husband treats her like garbage, but today the women are a lot smarter, and they earn and share or sometimes, don't and put money separately, I am not saying it is good or bad, but I agree with pre-nup definitely, that way, both parties will be aware of the consequences, but again, there are some situations you just have no choice but to leave, whether it is a woman or a man, I have seen abused women and I have seen abused men, and continue to see very sad cases, here and in India..

 

[DR.C.NARAYANI]

hello mr ai,the trend had been changed looong time since .(doctor weds dr) ,but then still there are few examples here & there,we will hav no options in our personal life in my POV,for social communications ,inter actions ,(we will be in discussions of surgery ,all treatments ,post operations etc etc etc only) life will be too mechaniacal (???),but for work & practice thats a good option .we should never club our personal with official life (my mr .is an engineer cum bussiness man.)

 

[Subhalakshmi]

I am sure it is different in Malaysia Renu, but in India things have changed a lot too.. they are quite demanding.. not for cars, from what I understand they don't want to cook, most of them want to eat outside all the time.. I still cook and when I was newly married, and later used to make at least three meals, breakfast, lunch and dinner and always snacks were available.. nothing was bought.. of course, it is convenient no doubt..

What I am trying to say is there should be a balance in a marriage, it should always give and take, both should work towards the marriage and should first be friends and understand each other good and bad.. If a woman is a professional, she definitely has her pride so it is better to have separate accounts and let both contribute towards the housing expense etc.. even vacation should be shared, once the children come slowly things will become one or both will have that respect for each others privacy.. so there is no demand or any ugliness

 

[renuka]

I am sure it is different in Malaysia Renu, but in India things have changed a lot too.. they are quite demanding.. not for cars, from what I understand they don't want to cook, most of them want to eat outside all the time.. I still cook and when I was newly married, and later used to make at least three meals, breakfast, lunch and dinner and always snacks were available.. nothing was bought.. of course, it is convenient no doubt..

What I am trying to say is there should be a balance in a marriage, it should always give and take, both should work towards the marriage and should first be friends and understand each other good and bad.. If a woman is a professional, she definitely has her pride so it is better to have separate accounts and let both contribute towards the housing expense etc.. even vacation should be shared, once the children come slowly things will become one or both will have that respect for each others privacy.. so there is no demand or any ugliness

Dear Subbuji,

Its not really a matter of pride to have separate accounts cos all of us had separate accounts the moment we went to work.
So even before marriage separate accounts existed and after marriage both contribute to the household expenses from their individual accounts.

Yes even vacation is shared..I pay for my own flight tickets,he pays his own,expenses is shared 50% -50% and we both combine and share for child.

That way its fair to both husband and wife cos its not fair to let the husband alone to shoulder the financial burden of the family if the wife is also an earning member.

 

[Subhalakshmi]

Renu dear, I fully agree with you.. that is why your marriage is a balanced one darling god bless you..

 

[Ashokindeed]

I would like to share a incident, my friend (elder to me, around 7 years) who is Tamil Brahmin and married to a Tamil Brahmin girl (she completed B.Sc). Arranged marriage only.He is working as a Business development officer in Mumbai. He was with his parents and working in Chennai. After marriage, he got transferred to Mumbai and he took his family along with him(I know, he is the only son for his parents) . After few months, his wife started issues with his parents and one fine day they left to Chennai.He felt very sad and he convinced his parents somehow.


Then, from last 2 months he use to come to my flat so often. (previously I only use to go to his apartment once in a while)



In the sense, Saturday & Sunday he use to be with me only.He comes around at 8 O clock in the morning & goes around 10 at night. I noticed this around 3 - 4 weeks. After all, I can not ask, why are you coming ??.


I am having a self cooking arrangements within my flat and I am staying alone, hence I do not have any problem. In fact, I am so happy with some one coming and spending time with me. However, I don't want to encourage this,since that can ruin their married life, I thought for a while & asked him very politely, what is the problem and why are you so disturbed? initially he refused that statement and I was keep on poking him. Finally he literally cried & explained, he is no way suits with outside food & most of his life, he was with his parents, his mother use to prepare food & he carries to office. Now, his wife is not willing to cook, all the time she wants outside food. He kept a maid for cooking. There was lot of miscommunication between them, she was not cooking south Indian dishes, since she is a Maharashtrian.



Everyday she fights with him, he says "I come here for peace and food.!!!

How can I react ??


Now, I am in Gujarat for official work, Even last sat & Sunday he was in my flat alone...!!!



WHAT TO DO, whom to be blamed ????

 

[renuka]

I would like to share a incident, my friend (elder to me, around 7 years) who is Tamil Brahmin and married to a Tamil Brahmin girl (she completed B.Sc). Arranged marriage only.He is working as a Business development officer in Mumbai. He was with his parents and working in Chennai. After marriage, he got transferred to Mumbai and he took his family along with him(I know, he is the only son for his parents) . After few months, his wife started issues with his parents and one fine day they left to Chennai.He felt very sad and he convinced his parents somehow.


Then, from last 2 months he use to come to my flat so often. (previously I only use to go to his apartment once in a while)



In the sense, Saturday & Sunday he use to be with me only.He comes around at 8 O clock in the morning & goes around 10 at night. I noticed this around 3 - 4 weeks. After all, I can not ask, why are you coming ??.


I am having a self cooking arrangements within my flat and I am staying alone, hence I do not have any problem. In fact, I am so happy with some one coming and spending time with me. However, I don't want to encourage this,since that can ruin their married life, I thought for a while & asked him very politely, what is the problem and why are you so disturbed? initially he refused that statement and I was keep on poking him. Finally he literally cried & explained, he is no way suits with outside food & most of his life, he was with his parents, his mother use to prepare food & he carries to office. Now, his wife is not willing to cook, all the time she wants outside food. He kept a maid for cooking. There was lot of miscommunication between them, she was not cooking south Indian dishes, since she is a Maharashtrian.



Everyday she fights with him, he says "I come here for peace and food.!!!

How can I react ??


Now, I am in Gujarat for official work, Even last sat & Sunday he was in my flat alone...!!!



WHAT TO DO, whom to be blamed ????

Food is not an excuse yaar,
Even my mum and dad are from different states and she and he both can cook any sort of food.

Its a small issue..tell your friend to get used to her cooking.

Hey so you are having your friend over for weekends..thats nice also you guys can check out some chicks together!!One Bachelor and one married Loner is more than enough to paint the town RED!!!LOL

 

[Raji Ram]

My explanation to the 'give and take' policy: Give respect and take respect!!

Look at the plight of this husband who tried to betray his wife!

The proverb 'kallAnAlum kaNavan; pullAnAlum purushan' is outdated!!
Now watch this video and get :scared:

Cheating husband beaten up by wife in India - YouTube

 

[C RAVI]

Food is not an excuse yaar,
Even my mum and dad are from different states and she and he both can cook any sort of food.

Its a small issue..tell your friend to get used to her cooking.

Hey so you are having your friend over for weekends..thats nice also you guys can check out some chicks together!!One Bachelor and one married Loner is more than enough to paint the town RED!!!LOL

Dear Renuka,

Ashok has said that the house maid in Mumbai is Maharashtrian and appointing her to cook for the couple was not convincing.

He didn't say that his friend's wife cooks only North Indian/Maharashtrian recipe. He said, his friend's wife don't ever want to cook and have all meals from the restaurant.


I think I am happy here as a bachelor, eating b/f, lunch, dinner, tea, coffee etc..etc.. from the verity of shops outside.


No need to go to friend's apartment for peace of mind as well. Off course, I go only for a good pass time, not just to escape from any bitter situation.



Dear Renuka, why you suggesting Ashok and his married and depressed friend to hook up and enjoy with chicks together just because no other family members in Ashok's appartment?

Is this the way to show that you are not aging/getting old and you are still young, enthusiastic, energetic and naughty?

 

[Ashokindeed]

OH!!! NO !!!

helloooo....naangalam aachharamaana pullainga pa !!!

Renu mam,

she don`t want to cook at all. She fights everyday with him. I went once to his house, I noticed, she is bit rude only.

Atleast, I am happy about him, he did not touched any alcohol and all....

my friend use to say " ithulaiyum vera kalyanathukku munnadi, jathagam parkaiyila 10 porutham irukkunu sonnanga, antha aal mattum kaila kedchan !!!"

hahahahhah !!!!

Food is not an excuse yaar,
Even my mum and dad are from different states and she and he both can cook any sort of food.

Its a small issue..tell your friend to get used to her cooking.

Hey so you are having your friend over for weekends..thats nice also you guys can check out some chicks together!!One Bachelor and one married Loner is more than enough to paint the town RED!!!LOL

 

[Ashokindeed]

Ravi sir,

I too enjoy being a bachelor...!!! I do what I like to do,

I recalled a saying about marriage " AFTER MARRIAGE, BOYS ARE LOOSING THEIR BACHELOR (DEGREE) & GIRLS ARE GAINING THEIR MASTERS (MRS.) DEGREE !!! "

I am at Gujarat now, next week I will be in Mumbai, next to next week " who knows, where I am"....

vaazhga bachelors !! vaazhga Ravi sir...!!

Dear Renuka,

Ashok has said that the house maid in Mumbai is Maharashtrian and appointing her to cook for the couple was not convincing.

He didn't say that his friend's wife cooks only North Indian/Maharashtrian recipe. He said, his friend's wife don't ever want to cook and have all meals from the restaurant.


I think I am happy here as a bachelor, eating b/f, lunch, dinner, tea, coffee etc..etc.. from the verity of shops outside.


No need to go to friend's apartment for peace of mind as well. Off course, I go only for a good pass time, not just to escape from any bitter situation.



Dear Renuka, why you suggesting Ashok and his married and depressed friend to hook up and enjoy with chicks together just because no other family members in Ashok's appartment?

Is this the way to show that you are not aging/getting old and you are still young, enthusiastic, energetic and naughty?