Age difference for best married life

[krish44]

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This NB son in law frequently coming in in your narrative is because of your giving in easily to circumstances. Fight man. You will win. Giving in is the easiest thing to do. But you become a pathetic specimen when you do that.(#55)

Don't be pathetic - become pugilitic !

It is a fight over Aadhar or குடுமி - naturally it will be குடுமி பிச்சுகர சண்டை!

It is a matter of opinion who becomes the pathetic specimen.

Thee person who accepts and lives without caste biases with human values or one with steadfast adherance to caste to the extent undergoing all sufferings and

ultimately being forced to yield at the fag end of life.

In life it is a matter of choices.

Whether one maturely compromises with minimal pain or undergo lifelong suffering ultimately to yield.

 

[renuka]

Holding on to anything too rigidly forms a Karmic debt which one would face again in another life.

We might hang around life believing what we hold on to is something that can never be given up.

Its not about not adhering but its about adhering yet not being attached.

Finally the body which comes with a name and form is given up and it perishes only to take another body later which we might not even know would belong to which community or religion or even human or not.

So best is just do our duty..there is no need to disown anyone or anything for what do we really own finally?

 

[krish44]

A philosophical post from renukaji

What I have been trying to do is more pragmatic.

I am ensuring that children of these one brahmin parent marriages is get them married to boys/girls who have brahmin parents

Over time, their children will end up as full brahmins again.{ at least 75% brahmin lol}

we have succeeded in one case.

There are a couple more.

I love challenges like this.

It keeps me going.

 

[renuka]

I cant wait for the day humans marry aliens from other planets..then we can have IP marriage..inter planet marriage.

 

[krish44]

Who knows even aliens might also have a caste system. similar to ours.

When Bali hindus have a caste system why not aliens?

 

[krish44]

This tendency to reject caste polluters runs deep in blood for many.

How much indoctrination must have gone on over centuries to evolve and sustain this ?

Even in 21st century , we hang on to this firmly inspite of western education , being ruled over by british , mughals among others over centuries.

Even when one gets converted to another religion , his caste also goes to that religion.

 

[Vaagmi]

1) This tendency to reject caste polluters runs deep in blood for many.
How much indoctrination must have gone on over centuries to evolve and sustain this ?

2) Even in 21st century , we hang on to this firmly inspite of western education , being ruled over by british , mughals among others over centuries.

3) Even when one gets converted to another religion , his caste also goes to that religion.

How shallow can one get!!

1) Caste pollution is not a polution in the political sense in which it is brandeied about because of the effect of that evil influence by bigriver. It is retaining and improving on the assets gained over centuries for the sake of and for the welfare of society. Bigriver , his blind followers and others indoctrinated by his hatred opiate may not agree with this. But this is the fact.

In the same breath may I ask you a question? Will you go about kissing everyone on the street to prove that you have no tendency to reject any poluters? The crowd may include a few lepers too.

Now please do not turn around and tell me that I am calling every NB a leper. I am sure you are not that low in your wits.

It is my turn to wonder loudly how much of indoctrination you have been subjected to to hold on to this illogical position like a mule.

2) As if Western Education is a cure all medicine. And British and Mughals were great dynasties with great enlightenment ever to exist in the world. They spoilt our superior education system and injected poison in the society in the name of caste. And we have people like you who remain ever faithful to these alien master. Slave mentality.

3) So where goes your enlightened masters British and Mughals who are unable to get rid of this from amongst their herds of sheep?

Dear Krish, You can be ever thankful for your luck in getting good education. But do not give credit to the wrong factors that you think facilitated your achievement. Think about it. You need to come out of your shackles of indoctrination.

 

[Janaki Jambunathan]

What I have been trying to do is more pragmatic.

I am ensuring that children of these one brahmin parent marriages is get them married to boys/girls who have brahmin parents

Over time, their children will end up as full brahmins again.{ at least 75% brahmin lol}

we have succeeded in one case.

There are a couple more.

I love challenges like this.

It keeps me going.

Gold extracted from ore dust by Amalgamation! Your efforts to produce 75 percent pure Brahmin by Amalgamation with one successful experiment is appreciated . More trials are welcome! Get going to prop up dwindling TBs!

 

[Janaki Jambunathan]

Will you go about kissing everyone on the street to prove that you have no tendency to reject any poluters? The crowd may include a few lepers too.

Now please do not turn around and tell me that I am calling every NB a leper. I am sure you are not that low in your wits(#67)

Can a TB leper go about kissing ever one the street? Please don't turn around and tell me there are no Brahmin lepers

 

[Vaagmi]

Can a TB leper go about kissing ever one the street? Please don't turn around and tell me there are no Brahmin lepers

Could someone help with a bhashyam. I do not understand what is said here. This JJ sutra is a mystery I do not understand.

 

[krish44]

How shallow can one get!!

1) Caste pollution is not a polution in the political sense in which it is brandeied about because of the effect of that evil influence by bigriver. It is retaining and improving on the assets gained over centuries for the sake of and for the welfare of society. Bigriver , his blind followers and others indoctrinated by his hatred opiate may not agree with this. But this is the fact.

In the same breath may I ask you a question? Will you go about kissing everyone on the street to prove that you have no tendency to reject any poluters? The crowd may include a few lepers too.

Now please do not turn around and tell me that I am calling every NB a leper. I am sure you are not that low in your wits.

It is my turn to wonder loudly how much of indoctrination you have been subjected to to hold on to this illogical position like a mule.

2) As if Western Education is a cure all medicine. And British and Mughals were great dynasties with great enlightenment ever to exist in the world. They spoilt our superior education system and injected poison in the society in the name of caste. And we have people like you who remain ever faithful to these alien master. Slave mentality.

3) So where goes your enlightened masters British and Mughals who are unable to get rid of this from amongst their herds of sheep?

Dear Krish, You can be ever thankful for your luck in getting good education. But do not give credit to the wrong factors that you think facilitated your achievement. Think about it. You need to come out of your shackles of indoctrination.

In this age, everyone looks for an elitist as per his perception Towards whom anger can be channelised.

Tamil Brahmins whose privileges have been scuttled by dravidian movement,reservation policy, hindi imposition from a central power are looking for targets for directing their anger

Well When I say ,I am secular, enjoy the good life of elitist class and an urban consumerist besides being liberal then I become a fit candidate for directing anger.

A brahmin refusing to agree that he is being discriminated as he has escaped the dravidian anger , also freely mixes with all class of people poor, other castes and

religion, the fury can only increase.

In this age of discontent everyone is looking for someone to direct their anger because of inequalities.

Very poor in villages are jealous of organised poor in cities, working class looks at urban middle class with bad feelings. We middle class look at rich and super rich and

blame them for everything under the sun.

we have become a society where all are blaming one class of elites or other.

Basic issue is disparity and change in the system to reduce them

 

[Vaagmi]

In this age, everyone looks for an elitist as per his perception Towards whom anger can be channelised.

Tamil Brahmins whose privileges have been scuttled by dravidian movement,reservation policy, hindi imposition from a central power are looking for targets for directing their anger

Well When I say ,I am secular, enjoy the good life of elitist class and an urban consumerist besides being liberal then I become a fit candidate for directing anger.

A brahmin refusing to agree that he is being discriminated as he has escaped the dravidian anger , also freely mixes with all class of people poor, other castes and

religion, the fury can only increase.

In this age of discontent everyone is looking for someone to direct their anger because of inequalities.

Very poor in villages are jealous of organised poor in cities, working class looks at urban middle class with bad feelings. We middle class look at rich and super rich and

blame them for everything under the sun.

we have become a society where all are blaming one class of elites or other.

Basic issue is disparity and change in the system to reduce them

Dear krishji,

Why this victimhood cry from an imagined agony?

I did not expect this from you. I thought we are in an animated conversation. It appears it was not so in your perception. I should be careful in future.

You think I am angry with Dravidian ideologues because I have been put down in my life. LOL. I am a brahmin. I came up in life despite all the hatred ( yes it was pure hatred. One day i witnessed in a bus in which I was riding, a purohit being spat on face with abusive language for just being a brahmin wearing a poonool. It is what is called pure , unadulterated hatred), despite all the odds loaded against me in my path of life. But I was winning laughing all the way. No hatred in return. My best friends are till this date from the NB community, who were my classmates in school and college.

And I am not angry with you. I only am arguing with you. If you do not like my way of arguing you can tell me. I will keep away. Dont hide behind victimhood barrier.

So you think you have escaped the dravidian anger and so you are happy being "secular"? This is called stockholm syndrome. Think about it.

 

[krish44]

Stockholm syndrome.Lol

If you are brought up in an environment since childhood { I am here since birth} one becomes alien I presume .

I have very few tamil friends, a couple or so from school days.

Most friends are from various colleges and elitist univ like IITs and IISc and delhi univ. they are from northern states.So there is a basic comfort level in hindi.

Here again there was no caste issues.

So I never related to anything brahmin much.

So I did not know about the dravidian movement until early sixties when I got first exposure at the time of anti hindi agitation and later emergence of DMK as the

ruling party in tamil nadu.

You might feel saintly inspite of hatred expressed by others in tamil nadu not hitting back.But these leave a mark internally .You carry the image of the assaulted

purohit spat on lifelong It could be any brahmin including you.I am happy you feel proud that you have done well despite odds and maintain friends from other

communities.

Pl feel free to express your thoughts . I am made of harder material .

I can only guess your mindset from your posts and draw conclusions .

 

[krish44]

Many of us are second generation tamil brahmins in other parts of india in north and west or abroad .We are born and brought up here. We got exposed to tamil brahmin

way of life mostly due to educational institution -Tamil school our last generation started besides vaidheeka association for religeous needs. Some cultural groups for music , dance

,theatre also came up. There were some one or two tamil writers from these parts.The schools got exposed to invasion from dravidian groups from tamilnadu in sixties leading

to falling standards and elite brahmins moved away from it. Vaidheeka association died a natural death .Cultural groups these days are promoted more by andhras than

tamils.

In last thirty years, the generation next to us has moved away from anything tamil,study in convent and elite schools, at best speak only tamil. Marriages with locals of

other castes mostly kayasths, yadav and others have become common place.They are more comfortable in hindi.

I suppose it should be same with next generation brahmin kids in US. They are born there and are more comfortable with english than tamil,relate to open society

there ,some bold inter mix and marry locals of other race.They would hardly ever think of returning to india. At best it can be a tourist destination for them

We have all become an inter mixed types half brahmin and half other caste, religion .These are inevitable changes and irreversible.

Those who have less exposure to these types might get agitated at these changes.But these are here to stay

 

[Raji Ram]

Whatever be the thread title, Krish Sir brings in I C / I R weddings in his posts!

 

[krish44]

Thats because Age difference does not mean much unlike IC/IR.

Many would accept large age difference but not IC/IR.

Though it is a bigger sin to make girls marry old boys{can they be called boys?] due to poverty or some such reason.

Brahmin regularly married young girls with wide age difference and tried justifying it also.Not many felt guilty doing that.

If a girl is even a day older than boy , they even today are rejected outright.

Many men married more than once , with a wife living and got away with it .Others did not mourn the death of wife before remarrying.

By the way is there an ideal age difference.

Now age difference is only 2 or 3 years for educated working girls. Before it used to be four years and more.

Rajiramji, Are you satisfied with this reply which is age related

Is there any best age difference for married life?

For a boy, it is difficult to set ideal age difference for girl except to say she should be younger than him.

Girls can be flexi from zero to four keeping other qualifications also into account.

I think girls would consider looks , academic qualification and pay packet of boy before applying age bars for boys

 

[Raji Ram]

I have seen an advt. in a matrimony site, by a 29 year old well placed girl, seeking a boy (??) in the age group of 26 to 30!

Time is favorable for girls!

There is NO best age difference between couples. The give and take policy leads to a successful married life. :thumb:

It sounds odd when a girl weds a guy younger to her but Sachin seems to be very happy with his older wife! :becky:

 

[Vaagmi]

Dear krishji,

Because you are again again harping on the "caste"(as you understand it), the preferability of IC/IR marriages etc., I think I will continue to engage you here -whatever may be the assessment by you of me. LOL.

If you are brought up in an environment since childhood { I am here since birth} one becomes alien I presume.

You do not become an alien as long as you do not shoot left right and centre about your 'glorious' perception of things which are in conflict with and are detrimental to the universal perception of a culture and tradition.

I have very few tamil friends, a couple or so from school days.

That is okay. That does not mean anything and we do not judge you by that.

Most friends are from various colleges and elitist univ like IITs and IISc and delhi univ. they are from northern states.So there is a basic comfort level in hindi.

Same here too. Though for different reasons. I have spent many years in Western and Northern India.

Here again there was no caste issues.

Why caste creeps in into the narrative here?

So I never related to anything brahmin much.

That was perhaps your parents' choice in giving you values and building your value system. You could not help it any better.

You might feel saintly inspite of hatred expressed by others in tamil nadu not hitting back.But these leave a mark internally .You carry the image of the assaulted purohit spat on lifelong It could be any brahmin including you.

Why beat around the bush. You think I carry a grudge. My answer is just "NO".

I am happy you feel proud that you have done well despite odds and maintain friends from othercommunities.

That was said in a context. I do not think it is an olympic feat. It is natural to a brahmin.

Pl feel free to express your thoughts . I am made of harder material .

That is a disapointment. Hard material usually has no scope for malleability and forming. That excludes it from becoming the source material for forming beautiful objects. LOL.

I can only guess your mindset from your posts and draw conclusions .

That is okay. We are all faceless here and everything happens in the virtual world. So no problem with what you think. I have not applied for a job. LOL.

I am what I am. Thank you.

 

[krish44]

I have seen an advt. in a matrimony site, by a 29 year old well placed girl, seeking a boy (??) in the age group of 26 to 30!

Time is favorable for girls!

There is NO best age difference between couples. The give and take policy leads to a successful married life. :thumb:

It sounds odd when a girl weds a guy younger to her but Sachin seems to be very happy with his older wife! :becky:

As you can see 28-29 years is becoming new normal for marriage.

Perhaps thinking of boy{?} being younger than girl at that age does not carry much sense.

Both should be mature enough to understand it cannot be romance as for the young.

Both would look for their own space to pursue their career , hobbies and interests in addition to sharing things together.

They would have separate finances in addition to some common account for joint expenses.

How these manage their money gets interesting.

It is my thing and our thing for all material possessions.

They jointly and severally fulfill their goals and responsibilities in life.

They probably give each other space to do their own things also.

They could be happier than normal young couple who fight over money after pooling it in a fit of romantic emotion after marriage.

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Krish Sir,

For couples, 'Your money - my money - our money concept' is much better than 'Your child - my child - our child concept'!

Just kidding!