Age difference for best married life

[krish44]

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Thats because Age difference does not mean much unlike IC/IR.

Many would accept large age difference but not IC/IR.

Though it is a bigger sin to make girls marry old boys{can they be called boys?] due to poverty or some such reason.

Brahmin regularly married young girls with wide age difference and tried justifying it also.Not many felt guilty doing that.

If a girl is even a day older than boy , they even today are rejected outright.

Many men married more than once , with a wife living and got away with it .Others did not mourn the death of wife before remarrying.

By the way is there an ideal age difference.

Now age difference is only 2 or 3 years for educated working girls. Before it used to be four years and more.

Rajiramji, Are you satisfied with this reply which is age related

Is there any best age difference for married life?

For a boy, it is difficult to set ideal age difference for girl except to say she should be younger than him.

Girls can be flexi from zero to four keeping other qualifications also into account.

I think girls would consider looks , academic qualification and pay packet of boy before applying age bars for boys

 

[Raji Ram]

I have seen an advt. in a matrimony site, by a 29 year old well placed girl, seeking a boy (??) in the age group of 26 to 30!

Time is favorable for girls!

There is NO best age difference between couples. The give and take policy leads to a successful married life. :thumb:

It sounds odd when a girl weds a guy younger to her but Sachin seems to be very happy with his older wife! :becky:

 

[Vaagmi]

Dear krishji,

Because you are again again harping on the "caste"(as you understand it), the preferability of IC/IR marriages etc., I think I will continue to engage you here -whatever may be the assessment by you of me. LOL.

If you are brought up in an environment since childhood { I am here since birth} one becomes alien I presume.

You do not become an alien as long as you do not shoot left right and centre about your 'glorious' perception of things which are in conflict with and are detrimental to the universal perception of a culture and tradition.

I have very few tamil friends, a couple or so from school days.

That is okay. That does not mean anything and we do not judge you by that.

Most friends are from various colleges and elitist univ like IITs and IISc and delhi univ. they are from northern states.So there is a basic comfort level in hindi.

Same here too. Though for different reasons. I have spent many years in Western and Northern India.

Here again there was no caste issues.

Why caste creeps in into the narrative here?

So I never related to anything brahmin much.

That was perhaps your parents' choice in giving you values and building your value system. You could not help it any better.

You might feel saintly inspite of hatred expressed by others in tamil nadu not hitting back.But these leave a mark internally .You carry the image of the assaulted purohit spat on lifelong It could be any brahmin including you.

Why beat around the bush. You think I carry a grudge. My answer is just "NO".

I am happy you feel proud that you have done well despite odds and maintain friends from othercommunities.

That was said in a context. I do not think it is an olympic feat. It is natural to a brahmin.

Pl feel free to express your thoughts . I am made of harder material .

That is a disapointment. Hard material usually has no scope for malleability and forming. That excludes it from becoming the source material for forming beautiful objects. LOL.

I can only guess your mindset from your posts and draw conclusions .

That is okay. We are all faceless here and everything happens in the virtual world. So no problem with what you think. I have not applied for a job. LOL.

I am what I am. Thank you.

 

[krish44]

I have seen an advt. in a matrimony site, by a 29 year old well placed girl, seeking a boy (??) in the age group of 26 to 30!

Time is favorable for girls!

There is NO best age difference between couples. The give and take policy leads to a successful married life. :thumb:

It sounds odd when a girl weds a guy younger to her but Sachin seems to be very happy with his older wife! :becky:

As you can see 28-29 years is becoming new normal for marriage.

Perhaps thinking of boy{?} being younger than girl at that age does not carry much sense.

Both should be mature enough to understand it cannot be romance as for the young.

Both would look for their own space to pursue their career , hobbies and interests in addition to sharing things together.

They would have separate finances in addition to some common account for joint expenses.

How these manage their money gets interesting.

It is my thing and our thing for all material possessions.

They jointly and severally fulfill their goals and responsibilities in life.

They probably give each other space to do their own things also.

They could be happier than normal young couple who fight over money after pooling it in a fit of romantic emotion after marriage.

 

[Raji Ram]

Dear Krish Sir,

For couples, 'Your money - my money - our money concept' is much better than 'Your child - my child - our child concept'!

Just kidding!

 

[krish44]

Even in single member earning families where the male is the earning member, Female partner normally keeps some money in kitchen rice or dal dabba to be used at

her discretion.Housewives are wise. They store separately some money into which they dip when needed.Men also stash away some money secretly to buy liquor , cigarettes and

sundry expenses.

 

[krish44]

Should we talk of age difference instead of differences that crop up between couple on aging.

Yesterday I wrote about an old lady who took potshots from a gun at her husband after drinking with him for a few hours in a restaurant in bangalore.

Many get into a murderous rage over small things , age having something to do with it.

When there is more age difference between married boy and girl , there are more chances that the older will be more mature and fights will be less.

 

[Raji Ram]

......... When there is more age difference between married boy and girl , there are more chances that the older will be more mature and fights will be less.

:nono: Krish Sir; can't generalize!

Have we NOT seen mAmAs who are more than a decade older than their mAmis and still driving them like a slaves? :whip:

Maturity has nothing to do with age alone!! :lol:

 

[Raji Ram]

One of my maternal uncles had saint yOgam in his horoscope! Mom was worried.

A clever astrologer got him a match, whose horoscope had the yOgam to attract the spouse. :hug:

He will soon celebrate his 90th birthday with the happy mAmi, three sons and families! :thumb:

 

[renuka]

Physical age and maturity do not always go hand in hand.

Some older ones are irrational and fight mongers!LOL

 

[Raji Ram]

Physical age and maturity do not always go hand in hand.

Some older ones are irrational and fight mongers!LOL

Yeah! But fight mongers better be careful in our dear forum. eep:
Or, their account shall be :lock1: !

 

[Falcon]

Yeah! But fight mongers better be careful in our dear forum. eep:
Or, their account shall be :lock1: !

Our dear Forum has saw so many Fight Mongers... just visit achieves....

But it is the mischievous mongers who are to be very careful though not with the Forum Moderator but with their own conscience....

 

[Raji Ram]

New avtar, so soon!!

 

[Falcon]

New avtar, so soon!!

It is like 'Maggi' two minutes noodle.lol

It just take 'two minutes'...!

They may ban the product....

But again it is in the market....

One cannot overcome temptations....

The product has managed to enter every Indian home meeting the challenges

It is an interesting experience to come out with new avatar everytime.... like new waves in the ocean...

 

[prasad1]

New avtar, so soon!!

This time I caught, it. LOL

 

[renuka]

Our dear Forum has saw so many Fight Mongers... just visit achieves....

But it is the mischievous mongers who are to be very careful though not with the Forum Moderator but with their own conscience....

Dear Falcon,

Welcome to Forum.

Glad to meet you!

 

[Falcon]

This time I caught, it. LOL

One cannot be a 'Tube light' all the time.LOL

I have this thing to share....

Soure: Google images.

 

[Falcon]

Dear Falcon,

Welcome to Forum.

Glad to meet you!

Oh …Thank you so much Doctor Mam,

Just read in another thread about your most friendly responses

You are proving it again and again…

Let me also take this opportunity to thank our Moderator for the opportunity

It is indeed a pleasure to spend time among friends with lot of difference of opinion, instead of like-minded ones.

After all who is to decide as to ‘who is right and who is wrong’ …?

We are seeing in our daily life that cases which were convicted in the lower court, ends in acquittal in the higher courts vice-versa..

It is better to embrace the difference which is also good IMHO.

 

[krish44]

I do not know what is bothering him.

Probably has been seeing the film navarathri of shivaji ganesan in nine roles.

 

[Falcon]

I do not know what is bothering him.

Probably has been seeing the film navarathri of shivaji ganesan in nine roles.

Nothing bothers...

But the only thing is about the disturbed mind coming here and talking long and tedious sermons untireingly.

 

[Raji Ram]

........ Glad to meet you!

(again)! :tea:

 

[PasupathykovilPanjami]

The girl becomes a 'teen' at the very start thirteen. For obvoius reasons.
The boy is just a boy till he completes nineteen. For him 'Teen' starts at the end of nineteen!
The difference if you notice, is SEVEN years.
A thirteen-year-girl and a neneteen-year-boy will have similar expectations, desires and dreams for life.
The same state continues years after years.
This, probably, is the origin of the saying "seven is heaven".
I hope this adds another dimention to 'age-difference' for married couple.
Will do more of soliloque.
Luv.
M P Haran.

 

[prasad1]

Les Francaises, they are not like us. French President-elect Emanuel Macron is married to a woman 24 years his senior, 64-year-old Brigitte Trogneux Macron. She used to be his (married) high school drama teacher. Her oldest daughter was one of young Macron’s classmates.

And in France, this is not that big a deal.

The number of married couples with wives who are at least two years older than their husbands has jumped 67 percent in the last 50 years, according to a new analysis by the National Center for Family & Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University.[FONT=proxima_nova]“I do think it’s notable,” Susan Brown, co-director of the center, told TODAY.[/FONT]
[FONT=proxima_nova]“It speaks to the ways in which marriage has become more flexible and individualized. So these traditional notions about whom we can marry — who would be an appropriate husband or wife — have gone by the wayside and we’re now more accepting of different types of partners and mates.”

[/FONT]
[FONT=proxima_nova]Meanwhile, the number of marriages with husbands who are at least five years older than their wives declined from almost one-third of all couples 50 years ago to just one-quarter today.[/FONT]
[FONT=proxima_nova]“As we see more flexibility in mate selection and defining who is an appropriate spouse, it means that women have more options now,” Brown said. “They don’t have to marry a man who’s older than them. They can pick someone who’s a few years younger, and that will be acceptable and viable.”

http://www.today.com/health/share-marriages-wives-older-husbands-rise-t39781





Of Course Sunil Dutt, Sachin Tendulkar, Abhishek Bachchan, Raj Kundra, Dhanush, Saif Ali Khan and many more married older women. [/FONT]

 

[prasad1]

A study published in 2008 in the journal Psychology of Women Quarterly found that women 10 or more years older than their partners report being more satisfied and committed to their relationships than women who are the same age or younger than their partners. That could be because the power dynamic in those relationships is more equitable, said social psychologist Justin Lehmiller, co-author of the study, or because only the most solid partners pursue age gap romances given the stigma.

People in age gap couples perceive more prejudice against their relationship than same-sex or interracial couples, Lehmiller's research has found. Women bear the brunt of the criticism regardless of whether they're on the younger or older side of the spectrum, with the cougar or gold digger labels reflecting a deeply rooted sexism that judges women's sexual activities far more often than men's are judged, said Lehmiller, who teaches at Harvard University.


Though the double standard persists, acceptance has come a long way. A 2003 AARP study found 34 percent of women older than 40 were dating younger men, with 8 percent seeing men 10 or more years younger.

Helen Piper, a 60-year-old retired paramedic living in Harrisburg, Penn., said age was a nonissue when she married a man nine years her junior six years ago; she and church friends in similar relationships joke that they're in a cougar club. For her husband, Jeffrey Piper, 51, a retired state police trooper, the confidence that came with Helen's age was attractive because he likes women who say what they want.
Compare that with when Felicia Brings was 31 and dating a 25-year-old man in the 1970s and so feared losing her job over it that she kept the relationship a secret. "I was so ashamed," recalled Brings, now 65 and living in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. "At that time, if the guy was younger, you were considered a pervert."

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/...20120919_1_age-gap-age-difference-age-matters

 

[prasad1]

What would a star couple have in common with the Iyers?
Like Bollywood stars Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai, Gitanjali and Subodh Iyer, bank professionals from Mumbai, also have an age difference of three years.
Gitanjali is older than Subodh.
Talk to them about this and they laugh. "It doesn't matter any more," says Gitanjali, "We had almost forgotten about these small things."
But was it a 'small thing' when they got married? "It wasn't," she admits.

Both of them came from traditional families. Gitanjali is a Sindhi and Subodh a South Indian. They met in State Bank of India and fell in love. When the couple decided to get married, they realised it was not going to be an easy journey.

They had to decide on a strategy to tackle their respective parents. "We sat and discussed how we are going to go about it," says Subodh, "It was not a conventional marriage. Firstly, it was an intercaste match. And then, I was younger than the bride."The maturity levels of both the partners can make or break a marriage. That was the case with Ernest and Yasmin Remedios. Yasmin, a writer and yoga teacher, met Ernest, who works for E-serve, an IT company, while on a hiking trip.

The romance blossomed despite the age difference. "Our age was never a problem," says Yasmin. "Ernest is more mature when it comes to finance, home, and I don't think I would be able to manage without his support," she feels.

It also helped that they got the support of their respective families. She says their ethnic backgrounds are close (Yasmin is a Parsi and Ernest is Christian), as such both their parents were ok with the relationship.


Marriage counsellor Ratna Khemani says, "We've grown up with the traditional idea of a husband protecting the wife, caring for her, earning for her after they are married. That has changed today because both are qualified and earning." However, Ratna cautions that a big age disparity has led many couples to separate.
"If there is an eight to nine-year gap, the chance of it working out seems less bright. The first few years of bliss will be replaced by tension resulting from the insecurities that often creep up in a woman's mind," she says. Something as common as friends too can widen the rift between couples, as both sets have different mindset.

Stress too plays a role in the breakdown of these marriages.
"Today marriages between older women and younger men don't often work because of stress in everyday life. Criticism over expectations, fears and a suspicious nature add to the problems," she says. Financial disparity also plays a very key role, she adds.
Surprisingly, child bearing is never considered a problem because many high-powered couples do not even think of having a child these days.

Despite all these disparities, however, Ratna says these marriages can work if:

• Both want it to work.
• Both love, trust, and respect each other.
• Adjust to and understand each other's needs, and
• Are there for each other.

http://www.rediff.com/getahead/2007/jan/23rel.htm

It is 10 years old article, things are different now.