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Age difference between boy and girl for marriage

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generally i do this in life: when an older person makes an accusation, i ignore it. when someone makes an assumption, i clarify it. you clarified to sri N abt you not being SV. until there it was perfect. but expecting an apology was taking things a bit far..so far have not expected an apology from anyone for anything...so i was just expressing stuff from my stand...at the same time ofcourse i cannot expect everyone to be like me...therefore was only expressing stuff from one view of mine...if you still do expect an apology from sri N, then ofcourse you are entitled to what you feel...that's why i said am just expressing what i felt and do not mean to hurt your feelings or expectations in anyway.
We are all equal members of this forum... and we speak in that status here, through our anonymity... so, when somebody makes an superficial accusation and when clarified, it is the onus of the person who suspected to say that it has been clarified... So, nothing is too far or too near...

But on the same note, people who purportedly claim that they are neutral could have mentioned in the forum that such suspicions are unfounded... but you didnt do that.... you simply repeat that it was an just an assumption... etc etc... and hence your explanations and clarifications are really not relevant here...

Instead of treating the case on its merit, people are prancing as if there is a war between the new members and the old members, or between the young and the old...!!! Preposterous.

did i mention you at all...and i don't think you are any reason for anyone to stop posting anything....bullying is more painful than assumptions...why do you assume it is you...
clarified; but I do not think that anybody bullies here.
 
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brown again..

But on the same note, people who purportedly claim that they are neutral could have mentioned in the forum that such suspicions are unfounded... but you didnt do that.... you simply repeat that it was an just an assumption... etc etc... and hence your explanations and clarifications are really not relevant here...

did not find it worthy enuf to mention that such a suspicion in unfounded.. was not even worth talking abt...until it became stretched too far and even perhaps maybe bcame one of the reasons for any poster to refrain from posting...you cud hv just clarified you are not sv and moved on...i suppose have hung out on enuf forums to understand that its best to pick the best and let go of the rest...there is nothing called perfection...

Instead of treating the case on its merit, people are prancing as if there is a war between the new members and the old members, or between the young and the old...!!! Preposterous.

clarified; but I do not think that anybody bullies here.

:) that's a bit strange to me :) but anyways, have had enuf for the day...c ya later...bye..
 
did not find it worthy enuf to mention that such a suspicion in unfounded.. was not even worth talking abt...until it became stretched too far and even perhaps maybe bcame one of the reasons for any poster to refrain from posting...you cud hv just clarified you are not sv and moved on...i suppose have hung out on enuf forums to understand that its best to pick the best and let go of the rest...there is nothing called perfection...
And that is where your suggestions are one-sided... without reflecting on the issue, you ventured to advise the members, but with a one-sided view!!! If it was not worthy then you should have refrained from commenting... and now you hint that it could be the reason why a certain poster does not post now... when a few minutes ago, you seemed to point out otherwise...? Curious. I do not know now who is acting in tandem!!!

I think more than the poster, the ones who offer suggestions are seriously dragging on this issue now, in the name of advice.

I had completely let off this incident until shri KRS took it up again today... at least he was one of the concerned, but you sprouted again on this incident even though it was not called for.

If people are capable of discriminating the good from the bad through an internet forum, on terms of anonymity, then they may do so. This does not reflect anywhere on my credentials...
 
brown

And that is where your suggestions are one-sided... without reflecting on the issue, you ventured to advise the members, but with a one-sided view!!! If it was not worthy then you should have refrained from commenting... and now you hint that it could be the reason why a certain poster does not post now... when a few minutes ago, you seemed to point out otherwise...? Curious. I do not know now who is acting in tandem!!!

sesh, no one can prevent anyone from thinking anyway they want to...i too am curious to know if that was the reason sri n has refrained from posting..he is far too mature for stuff like this...so am only supposing it cudn't be...

I think more than the poster, the ones who offer suggestions are seriously dragging on this issue now, in the name of advice.

if any of this sounded like advice to you, then its really unfortunate since i did not mean it to be so..

I had completely let off this incident until shri KRS took it up again today... at least he was one of the concerned, but you sprouted again on this incident even though it was not called for.

i sprouted on it in the hope that such things shd not be dragged on or looked back on. its funny actually..to think that it has been dragged on this much...so am stopping herewith.

If people are capable of discriminating the good from the bad through an internet forum, on terms of anonymity, then they may do so. This does not reflect anywhere on my credentials...
 
S

s007bala

Guest
Sankaran

Even though you joined us recently,and posted a nice topic,i hope i have given you my views pertaining to it,and you are enjoying our state of affairs as such :)

sb
 
S

s007bala

Guest
re

Dear KRS,

I appreciate your reply and would like to address something in general. Please write back to me if you want me to remove this posting later.

Dear KRS, Bala, SS, and anyone who feels this is apt for you,

We have a common forum here to share thoughts and also share friendliness. It is common that everyone has a different view point and we do not expect anyone here to be free from ego. But, when our discussions or writings reflect our ego or instigate a feeling of ego in the other - let us then try to reconcile and move on. The feeling of friendship should be the one that should motivate us to visit this forum again and again. Please consider this as an earnest request and no finger pointing at anyone here.

We all have enough work to do in this world and proving our point in a forum, I believe, would be the least important of them. After all, this could be a place where we can shed our egos because there is nothing to lose or gain at the end of the discussion, but for the knowledge and maturity with which we leave from here - back to our daily lives.

I have great respect for every one of you - KRS, Bala and SS as people who have helped in sharing thoughts and providing your perspectives of life.

Bala, Please write with the same decorum you normally maintain with me. I have not seen you writing Captain Haddock stuff to me. Maybe because I do not ignite you, but still...pls bala.

S V

I don't know who Captain Haddock is?but sure do know ,one captain in TN ..:)...obviously some decorum is shaken & stirred by me,otherwise i will not get so many brickbats or bouquets in the bargain,on account of my writings ROFL..:) ..arasiyaala idellam saganmjappa!!KHE KHE («Ãº¢ÂÄ þ¦¼øÄõ º¸õƒôÀ¡ )

sb
 
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S

s007bala

Guest
re

SB has posted several informative articles.

One on MahaBharatam dating the chronological order of events of the epic is note-worthy

One on the Numerology is more of practical use to any user.

He is also very witty and made valuable contributions ....

KRS is always indulging in verbal fighting and emotionalising issues... just list the people he fights over the couple of years I'm in, it is just too many and the record speaks itself.... IMHO.

mambazhatthu vandu aka Malgova.Mango :loco:

Thanks pardner,that you have appreciated some of my posts if not all.Glad for the info about KRS in the past and how he has behaved with people from the time that you have been a member here.:hat:I salute you for your honesty.

sb:amen:
 
Sankaran

Even though you joined us recently,and posted a nice topic,i hope i have given you my views pertaining to it,and you are enjoying our state of affairs as such :)

sb
]:focus:

I am a new member (junior most) hardly 3 days after joining this Forum. I saw very good responses from SB,SS,SV and others and I tend to agree with the arguments. All of a sudden, I found majority of the messages exchanged today deviated from main topic and became little personal. I was bit confused and amazed with notes exchanged.
SB, I was just wondering as to how I can interrupt and participate when your message triggered my response. My humble request to all in this Forum, let us focus on constructive discussions on the main topic without any bias and move forward. Everyone has a right to his / her opinion and it should be respected and there is no question of taking sides or forming groups if a group of people have a common point of view. I am not here to hurt anyone with my observations and it is just a suggestion to stay united and discuss threadbare about common issues confronting the brahmin commnuinity at large and see if we can add value by sharing our knowledge and experiences.
Thanks once again to you all for the quality input given to my query. It is indeed quite helpful and resourceful.
I will be very happy if I could get some links related to sage Vatsyana records on the above
Sankaran
 
S

s007bala

Guest
]:focus:

I am a new member (junior most) hardly 3 days after joining this Forum. I saw very good responses from SB,SS,SV and others and I tend to agree with the arguments. All of a sudden, I found majority of the messages exchanged today deviated from main topic and became little personal. I was bit confused and amazed with notes exchanged.
SB, I was just wondering as to how I can interrupt and participate when your message triggered my response. My humble request to all in this Forum, let us focus on constructive discussions on the main topic without any bias and move forward. Everyone has a right to his / her opinion and it should be respected and there is no question of taking sides or forming groups if a group of people have a common point of view. I am not here to hurt anyone with my observations and it is just a suggestion to stay united and discuss threadbare about common issues confronting the brahmin commnuinity at large and see if we can add value by sharing our knowledge and experiences.
Thanks once again to you all for the quality input given to my query. It is indeed quite helpful and resourceful.
I will be very happy if I could get some links related to sage Vatsyana records on the above
Sankaran

Sankaran

Here is a link,but i am not sure whether it has complete works of Sage Vatsayana.But truly a wonderful read.Our sages did write treatise on ayurveda too

http://www.indianetzone.com/kamasutra/

Regarding your opinion,i totally concur with you.:amen:

sb:tea:
 

KRS

Active member
Dear Sri Sankaran1950 Ji,

I apologize for causing all the side track issues on your thread. I however, posted my opinion on your topic. All these discussions have roots in the past and as a new comer you wouldn't know the history. A prime example is the posting here by malgova.

Malgova,

Please go back and analyze every posting where 'my' problem started, including some of your own. The problem always starts with the people of your ilk who do not want to hear a different idea. Being unable to argur you start the personal attacks. And I won't take it lying down. As you know in the past when there was moderation, such people, including you were chastised by them many many times. The difference is today we do not have that moderation. And this goon goes on unbridled attack, calling me senile and douche bag.

Who started all this?

By the way, I did not say that every thing this guy writes is trash. He is knowledgeable in certain narrow areas. If you consider his 'khe, khe' and 'ROFL' as witty, then what can I say - you must like slap stick comedy.

I do not think you have the qualification to comment about other's rude behaviour. If I recall, you can not even seem to understand that you are hurting others by belittling their accepted philosophies in Hinduism under the guise of speaking the 'truth'. How can then one expect the subtle feeling of empathy towards a fellow man emanating from you? So, if I were you, I would keep off this subject.

KRS



SB has posted several informative articles.

One on MahaBharatam dating the chronological order of events of the epic is note-worthy

One on the Numerology is more of practical use to any user.

He is also very witty and made valuable contributions ....

KRS is always indulging in verbal fighting and emotionalising issues... just list the people he fights over the couple of years I'm in, it is just too many and the record speaks itself.... IMHO.
 
Moderators.....

I mean , yeah they were carried away by some of the views from u,N, Brahmanyan .... so when the orthodox views are presented there was a bit of resistance from them initially,,, but i think over time they understood on what's being said from our side and they kept silent ....

I'm still not comfortable with the moderators handling your verbal fights with others... Good moderators would chastisise both the parties - but that's not done .....

Anyway moderators are humans too...they may be good techies and i don't expect any more from them....

You said : -

" I do not think you have the qualification to comment about other's rude behaviour."
This is your comment based on this -

" If I recall, you can not even seem to understand that you are hurting others by belittling their accepted philosophies in Hinduism under the guise of speaking the 'truth'."

I've not belittled anybody - I said a wrong is wrong. You seem to have some mind-block in accepting this fact. (What is the use in accepting a philosophy? )

Now you only belittle me from your mis-conception.
...................................
YOU SAID..
"How can then one expect the subtle feeling of empathy towards a fellow man emanating from you? So, if I were you, I would keep off this subject. "

It is the subtle feeling of EMPATHY that makes me to write ....

See if you see your SON doing a mistake and suffer due to that , won't you tell him hey that's a mistake please correct yourself... it is like that.

Would you be mum, thinking let him learn by himself.. if so, that's your style and this is mine.

With all the above due consideration ... I think I've the qualifications to call a rude as rude, a spade as spade , ad infinitum...

......................
 

KRS

Active member
moderators.....
malgova,
i mean , yeah they were carried away by some of the views from u,n, brahmanyan .... So when the orthodox views are presented there was a bit of resistance from them initially,,, but i think over time they understood on what's being said from our side and they kept silent ....
this is where you are absolutely wrong. Past moderation involved not in editing orthodox ideas. It involved in people name calling others, instead of debating the ideas. If you want, i can go back and quote yourself where they intervened to illustrate this point. They are now keeping silent because some of them are not active anymore.
i'm still not comfortable with the moderators handling your verbal fights with others... Good moderators would chastisise both the parties - but that's not done .....
chastise for what? They chastised only people who crossed the line. And that came much more from what you call as 'your side'.
anyway moderators are humans too...they may be good techies and i don't expect any more from them....
praveen seems to be a techie.....not others.

you said : -

" i do not think you have the qualification to comment about other's rude behaviour."
this is your comment based on this -

" if i recall, you can not even seem to understand that you are hurting others by belittling their accepted philosophies in hinduism under the guise of speaking the 'truth'."

i've not belittled anybody - i said a wrong is wrong. You seem to have some mind-block in accepting this fact. (what is the use in accepting a philosophy? )
again, you are oblivious of the pain caused by your assertion that there is only one philosophical truth. First of all no one can establish that there is only one philosophical truth as you have not. You can only quote certain passages from our scriptures selectively to 'establish' your truth. You do not accept the arguments of either madhvacharyal or sri ramanuja. If one understood the maha maha vakya 'all paths lead to him', you would not have the insensitivity to belittle those philosophies. Yes, you did belittle them.

now you only belittle me from your mis-conception.
i do not belittle you. I am belittling your lack of empathy and sensitivity, because this directly impedes your often stated goal of brahminical unity.
...................................
You said..
"how can then one expect the subtle feeling of empathy towards a fellow man emanating from you? So, if i were you, i would keep off this subject. "

it is the subtle feeling of empathy that makes me to write ....

See if you see your son doing a mistake and suffer due to that , won't you tell him hey that's a mistake please correct yourself... It is like that.
wrong analogy. A father has the obligation and the power to make his son behave, if he behaves wrongly. Because our religion accepts all valid philosophical thoughts (rooted in vedas), you can not call other philosophies as wrong or mis behaviour.

anyways, who gives you the power to think that you are their 'father'? This type of thinking itself is arrogance, borne out of the same 'superiority' complex displayed by certain abrahamic religions to spread their faith. This is exactly why i said you lack empathy.

would you be mum, thinking let him learn by himself.. If so, that's your style and this is mine.
we are talking about established, recognized ways of life and worship for centuries now of millions of people. They have been taught according to theor sambradhayams and you according to yours. They are not asking to change yours. Why would you ask them to change theirs?

with all the above due consideration ... I think i've the qualifications to call a rude as rude, a spade as spade , ad infinitum...
you can call anything you want. But don't expect me to remain silent. I will continue to speak out against such sectarian affirmation of 'truth' based on wrong fundamental assumptions about our religion.

......................
krs
 
Regards philosophy - I think we went thru that earlier....

You disqualified yourself saying that you are several thousand feet away to the subject matter.. so why waste time.

On calliing names...

You provoke others to do so and you indulge in replying to them... as an elder you could have easily avoided ... it takes 2 to tango .
 
MM,

1) Are followers of VA acceptable to you? Do you consider them in anyway as seperated or away from whatever is the "truth"?

2) I gave you the example of my mum. Now i give you the example of the rest of her folk - practically everyone in generations of her parents and previous to that seem to have undergone samasrayanam. Is their chosen path acceptable to you? Do you consider their path as not-the-ultimate "truth"?

[Please note: someone i know wud have liked to discuss whatever you had mentioned about advaita (even a non-brahmin seems to know enuf to counter what you said), but i think those who are following VA are decent enough not to hurt your sentiments regardless of how you seem to view them. Therefore they are not involving in debating with you. They accept your path also as valid and wish that you do not judge their chose path. All philosophies have their place under the sun. After all, it does not matter if i say sarvam narayana kritam or if you say sarvam shivamayam...ellam avan seyyal, who are we to judge)].

3) If you think provocation is as acceptable reason for calling names, then i really do not know what to say..and how wud you define 'provocation'? If anyone says something not in line with your thinking-process, is that acceptable enuf to be called as 'provocation'?
.....nobody here is a politician fooling or misguiding masses.....if you really wanna get angry, then get angry with those kind of ppl, not here....there is no place for name-calling in decent conversations.
 

KRS

Active member
Hey malgova,

You started this converstion by saying I am 'emotionalizing' the issue.

I said you are not quali9fied to judge me and gave examples.

Because of people like you, I have decided I am not going to be civilized, in dealing with the likes of you. Because you don't know the meaning of being 'civilized'.

You bring shame and controversy to our religion. Because of people like you, our religion is diminished.

Please don't make a fool of yourself arguing. Again, you have no argument except to again calling names. Sabash!

I know the readers know this.

KRS


Regards philosophy - I think we went thru that earlier....

You disqualified yourself saying that you are several thousand feet away to the subject matter.. so why waste time.

On calliing names...

You provoke others to do so and you indulge in replying to them... as an elder you could have easily avoided ... it takes 2 to tango .
 
krs - cool ...

it's a fact that you emotionalise issues and indulge in verbal fighting.. i've seen from the date i've joined here..... i simply reflected the facts....

re - philosophy and religion... yourself said you are several thousand feet away ... so you disqualify yourself ... and moreover we have finished with our discussions on that , you even apologised to me for your emotional out-burst... so why re-start again.

cool...
 
krs

take the recent example from your reply on the other thread..

you are rude in dismissing the article by a well-known and respected intellectual of our land. You could differ from his view, and politely put up your arguments against his. But instead you RUDELY threw that away.

You also told very crudely about village-heads and villages, in your hatred with people differing from your views.

Now please don't tell me that's what you learnt about civilzation.
 
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hh !

i'm not angry with anyone or anybody - om shanti!

common,don't you know what is provocation?

then you jolly well know now, - if there is a contorversy between 2 groups of people,then in the name of peace , if someone directly and indirectly only support one group and asks the other group to remain silent (a nice word to use here is peace) and praises only one group. Then the intention of that person is simply to PROVOCATE. This person is provocating the controversy.

You got it now?...
 
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S

s007bala

Guest
Sankaran

I am sorry to use your thread for addressing issue.My request to all members,i have opende a thread called Truce Invitation,those who have issues plz join there and participate ,with all mis-understandings,so that we are united as a community.In a community,there will be differences,and we really can sort things out,plz join in that thread all of you and thrash out mis-understandings.Sankaran ,thanks again.

sb
 
Apologies to Sankaran for using this thread.

Not sure if Praveen will be willing to open another restricted access thread. And in this case its not a name-calling scenario..the stand off b/w the orthodox and the commoners appears to be an ongoing thing. Perhaps Praveen can move this discussion to a new or another thread....though i suspect it might be a futile exercise since in this case it is a case of (seemingly unresolvable) ideological difference....and (for me atleast) it is impossible to reason out with person whose faculties can mistake a suggestion to pick-the-best-leave-the-rest and let-go-move-on as equivalent to asking to anyone to remain silent (when on earth did i ever ask anyone to remain silent)...

So am forced to use this thread...all i wish to say is if there has been any ruin to the existence of brahmanical communities, it has been coming from the orthodox section of this kind (not to be mistaken with an other genuine orthodox section that truly lives their brahmanical life following their traditions the sampradaic way)....ironically these fake orthodoxies claim to protect dharma in the name of what they already set out to ruin a few hundred years ago...and its God's infinite grace that such namesakes are an extreme minority that nobody wishes to heed to in the real world...Hereforth ends my views and posts on this forum. Thankyou.
 
Thanks HH for your understanding and intervention. I agree with your views and I will not express my views any more in this post. Thanks for all those giving valuable inputs to my queries. It is indeed very useful.
 

KRS

Active member
Malgova,
I don't want to respond here in this thread anymore. I am continuing our conversation in the thead I have started 'Implications of Logic and Faith in Modern Times'. See my response to both your postings there in the near future.
KRS

krs - cool ...

it's a fact that you emotionalise issues and indulge in verbal fighting.. i've seen from the date i've joined here..... i simply reflected the facts....

re - philosophy and religion... yourself said you are several thousand feet away ... so you disqualify yourself ... and moreover we have finished with our discussions on that , you even apologised to me for your emotional out-burst... so why re-start again.

cool...
 
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