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Retirement Communities

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post #42 by Nachinarkiniyanji

You may ask why I did not go to an actual village on the banks of Kaveri. We would have loved to. But Kaveri has almost dried out. The places are really hot. And
most important is that we will not be accepted by the local Brahmins. In a village life that is important. But Tamil Brahmins do not accept any one who does not conform. Sangom had written about the behavior of the Brahmins in one of the Retirement communities.
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Why this presumption that the local brahmins will not accept? Accept what-that you are brahmins? Does it really matter? And what is this conforming? Wearing a poonool? or doing the tharpanam on Amavasya day? I am asking these questions to just understand a little more. If these are too personal to be discussed you need not answer. It is ok with me.

post #48 by Nachinarkiniyanji,
Wanted a cosmopolitan group. But frankly this is almost impossible because the vast majority of the people who come to these communities are Brahmins.
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Why this preference for cosmopolitan group? Why not just a non-brahmin group or community of retirees? Again questions, just to understand better. Of course answering would be purely your choice.

Thanks
 
Nacchinarkiniyan said:
Thank You, tbs

In my case it is sort of Dream Come True. We have always dreamt of living a cottage in a village near a river. Having a small garden of our own. And a temple nearby. This residential community comes very close to our dreams.

In fact the retirement Communities are selling Dreams.

Cottage, garden, mountains/hills nearby, greenery, temple nearby or temple inside the complex.

These are the dreams of most of us. Almost all the people I met were singing the praise of the environment.

Unfortunately some of us are so taken in by the Urban Utopia that they have forgotten to dream.

You may ask why I did not go to an actual village on the banks of Kaveri. We would have loved to. But Kaveri has almost dried out. The places are really hot. And
most important is that we will not be accepted by the local Brahmins. In a village life that is important. But Tamil Brahmins do not accept any one who does not conform. Sangom had written about the behavior of the Brahmins in one of the Retirement communities.

So this is Idealism.
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hi nachi sir,

thank u for ur nice explanation...im very happy that ur dreams comes true...i feel PURE BRAHMIN type communities are many

hypocratical problems....i hate agraharam type retirement communities....i think multi facility communities have multiple problems tooo..

EVERYTHING IS STING ATTACHED....i like multicultural may be good...but it has its own problems....one caution.....PUGHU PONDATTI

ALWAYS LOOKS GOOD....we know real problems after some months of staying...recently my mom stayed in an OAH for a limited

period....she was fed up more restrictions....now she came back....IT WAS PAID OAH NEAR CHENNAI.....so tell ur experiences

of staying after some months....
 
Thanks Nacchi sir for giving a lot of info. on retirement communities.Pl do share your experiences of your stay there.with best wishes.
krish44
 
sangom said:
Your view may be the right one. I had left out the fact that our decision not to go to any retirement home was based not ssingly on Vanaprastha alone; we had visited a few more in and around Coimbatore as also Pollachi and we had the advantage of knowing a local resident of Coimbatore who knew some people living in different OAHs and so we thus had the benefit of fuller information (at least that is what I believe) than what we could have got from mere visits of one or two days in each OAH.

That said, let me wish you and your wife a very happy, healthy, long and peaceful life in the Retirement Community which you have selected.

I have since edited my post #31 suitably and request that you may kindly make suitable changes in your reply also.
Click to expand...

sangom ji
pl PM me on what is to be deleted.on post 31 to do the needful.Thanks
 
I like to record my views here! :)

In our colony there is a group, which chants Narayaneeyam, almost once in a week in one of the group member's houses. When I

talk to them, I find the same type of ego which the Hindi speaking brahmin mAmis who are settled (especially in Bombay / Delhi)
have! They feel one (or more) level(s) above others. Some start preaching, even if others are NOT ready to listen to them! :kev:

So, as Nacchi Sir has pointed out, it is essential to find out the environment of the retirement resort, to choose the right one.

P.S: I wrote that one of our friends are settled happily in a retirement resort. Ram and I can not tolerate that type of 'bhajan'

environment!! :nono:
 
Raji Ram said:
I like to record my views here! :)

In our colony there is a group, which chants Narayaneeyam, almost once in a week in one of the group member's houses. When I

talk to them, I find the same type of ego which the Hindi speaking brahmin mAmis who are settled (especially in Bombay / Delhi)
have! They feel one (or more) level(s) above others. Some start preaching, even if others are NOT ready to listen to them! :kev:

So, as Nacchi Sir has pointed out, it is essential to find out the environment of the retirement resort, to choose the right one.

P.S: I wrote that one of our friends are settled happily in a retirement resort. Ram and I can not tolerate that type of 'bhajan'

environment!! :nono:
Click to expand...
Rajiram ji
Ladies from bombay and delhi are a different type of breed. may not be good for any group activity such as chanting narayaneeyam. similarly you will find different characteristics from ladies who have lived abroad for quite sometime and would look down on anything indian.. they develop a one upman ship attitude and are unhappy with the new environment they have returned to.
environment is very important anywhere leave alone retirement communities.
I liked the other option you have mentioned about a distant relative choosing a place near you available in a small house run as business to accomodate senior citizens. senior citizen need to do some out of the box thinking to satisfy their needs of good food ,security and medical care.
For many ,it is not a money issue.
They are some options
1. there are a lot of independant working girls in hostels in chennai who would be ready to share flats for security .
2 There are many working couples with kids in age group 0-5 yrs looking for security in their homes for kids besides giving company to their kids during daytime. they can engage servants and also want somebody to oversee them
senior citizen with large homes can accomodate these types in return for security
there are many ladies in chennai mostly brahmins who are prepared to cook good meals but not able to home deliver.if suitable arrangements are made they can help senior citizen
there may also be a need for senior citizen to live near relatives and friends who can help in emergencies. also proximity to medical care and hospitals is a must which dictates that they should live in heart of town where all facilities are available.
retirement communities are a mirage. it is good to be down to earth and find meaningful solutions near where one stays or nearby than pumping money into resorts
 
Dear Krish Sir,

You will be surprised to know that the groups of mAmis who chant slOkams, look down upon the ladies who are not in any such group!

I compared them to the mAmis from North, who often add 'mathlab' in their conversation, may be to add style!! :)

The distant relative about whom I wrote has siblings and nephews who are well to do! But none of them are generous to give

financial support except one sister, who helps but wants them to thank her all the time! Even then, how to generate 20,000 +

every month to support them in Sing. Chennai? They want ONLY brahmins to cook their food even in OAH! Hence we are trying

some 'home' attached to a brahmin community in Kerala. I feel sad for their plight! That is why I wrote that the words in KuraL

'poruL illArkku ivvulagam illai' is very true.
 
Is there a place to live a peaceful life for the lower middle class elderly couple, who are not supported by the extended family?

This is one of the major problems that the not-so-fortunate elderly brahmins face in life! :sad:
 
Raji Ram said:
Dear Krish Sir,

You will be surprised to know that the groups of mAmis who chant slOkams, look down upon the ladies who are not in any such group!

I compared them to the mAmis from North, who often add 'mathlab' in their conversation, may be to add style!! :)

The distant relative about whom I wrote has siblings and nephews who are well to do! But none of them are generous to give

financial support except one sister, who helps but wants them to thank her all the time! Even then, how to generate 20,000 +

every month to support them in Sing. Chennai? They want ONLY brahmins to cook their food even in OAH! Hence we are trying

some 'home' attached to a brahmin community in Kerala. I feel sad for their plight! That is why I wrote that the words in KuraL

'poruL illArkku ivvulagam illai' is very true.
Click to expand...
RRji
I do not know the types who get into slokam chanting groups. perhaps they are also like the kitty party types in north where ladies meet once or so a fortnight and eat and play games and gossip in some hotels in the afternoons. midsized hotels give a discount to them to organise their parties there
If money becomes an issue for senior citizens,they just have to team up with others who have money and might need them for their security.
I know of many brahmin seniors who order food once a day and spread it over lunch and dinner and cut costs.They find it cheaper than cooking home.They also share their accomodation with singles or working couples with one kid.these citizens have to find some avenues for wealth creation. on 10 k or so a month it should be possible to live OK. I do not know the poverty level to which these senior citizen have sunk to.most have a minimum pension to bank on. If they live near temples such as nanganallur anjaneya, they can atleast not have hunger pangs. many brahmins get their prasadams more than twice a day to survive. Upto a hundred get midday meals.even a shared accomodation or 1bhk one can get for 3-4k a month.only it requires a little setting up expense.
 
I know a son who drives his widowed mother to the nearby temple, to survive on the prasAdham distributed there, twice a day.

She gets a widow's pension of Rs. 500 from the state govt. She has been an annalakshmi to many guests in her younger days

and now her plight is this! It makes my heart heavy, when I listen to such real life stories! :pout:
 
Dear Krish Sir,

The couple with one kid will be ready to approach a good creche rather than keeping an old couple to take care of the kid.

Such solutions like 'adopting parents' will happen only in cinema and not in real life. With medical expenses soaring high,

elders have become unwanted stuff even for their own children. Nothing other than the money saved for the future will help!
 
continuing my last post , the lifestyle of lower middle class is governed by provision of roof over the head for senior citizens by their families and senior citizens contributing to food expenses. if their living together with children is abandoned by these citizens for whatever reasons, it is likely to result in misery.the only way is to team up with non family people to tackle the problem of dignified living.I can see that they cannot give up their brahmin lifestyle or food.rentals can be expensive. some can help them to get the govt benefits like senior citizen pension . theycan exploit the food options such as amma unavagam etc. senior citizen ladies can help in wedding and such events to garner money . many brahmins get tied to purohits and caterars for financial benefits as unique position as a brahmins entitles them to some minor income. but they need to think creatively to become financially viable with minimum support
 
Raji Ram said:
Is there a place to live a peaceful life for the lower middle class elderly couple, who are not supported by the extended family?

This is one of the major problems that the not-so-fortunate elderly brahmins face in life! :sad:
Click to expand...
hi RR madam,

i saw this ad in some other forum...


One independent villa (1450 sqft area), 2 bedroom hall kitchen, puja room is available for rent immediately at Tapovan Senior Citizens Foundation, Coimbatore.


Monthly food expenses Rs. 3,000/- per head
Monthly maintenance Rs. 4,000/- approx


Those interested please contact at below mentioned telephone nos.


Jayashri - 9486116472
Narayan - 8608880296
 
Raji Ram said:
I know a son who drives his widowed mother to the nearby temple, to survive on the prasAdham distributed there, twice a day.

She gets a widow's pension of Rs. 500 from the state govt. She has been an annalakshmi to many guests in her younger days

and now her plight is this! It makes my heart heavy, when I listen to such real life stories! :pout:
Click to expand...
RRji
Do you know even well off brahmin families in nanganallur depend on the temple for their breakfast and tiffin needs. they get good prasadam hot and in few minutes.they need not unnecessarily cook and they also save on gas and provisions.
unless senior citizens develop inner strength and decide to get up and fight it out ,they are likely to be more miserable and they can also make everyone unhappy around them.
 
Raji Ram said:
Dear Krish Sir,

The couple with one kid will be ready to approach a good creche rather than keeping an old couple to take care of the kid.

Such solutions like 'adopting parents' will happen only in cinema and not in real life. With medical expenses soaring high,

elders have become unwanted stuff even for their own children. Nothing other than the money saved for the future will help!
Click to expand...
RRji
You know in SOS village near delhi ,destitute ladies abandoned by their families act as mothers to 3-4 orphans per flat where they are housed and they can stay for a lifetime there.Widowed ladies are most sought after for looking after terminally ill patients. these people require only
a will to
live well. many suffer mental problems due to abandoning of immediate famililies.they also live in the past .
the way to get someone to stay with you is to take a large flat first and then offer PG furnished accomodation at high
rent to single ladies. this arbitrage on rents can get seniors free accomodation.One can claim 30-40 percent extra rent for furnished
accomodation.similarly,one can offer breakfast and dinner to them and get free food in bargain. one requires initiative and seed money . also think big to live well
what do you think the people who take franchise for ladies hostel do. on very little seed money ,they are rolling in cash. only I wish senior citizens use their brains instead of wallowing in self pity
 
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mkrishna100 said:
Why do Mami's need to use mathlab while they talk . We used Mathlab a technical tool our Engineering studies :)
For More on Mathlab :
MATLAB - The Language of Technical Computing - MathWorks India
Click to expand...

Hi Mkrishna,

The MathLab you are talking about is perhaps something different from the mathlab that RRji is speaking about. Your mathlab is Math+Lab whereas RRji's mathlab is just mathlab in Hindi. In hindi the word mathlab means "meaning". We come across people using that word mathlab in conversation as a comma or semicolon. Similarly the word "mAne" is also used by the Hindi speaking TB women as a punctuation mark in conversation. When they use it that way it means nothing. You can take it that they are at a loss of words and yet want to fill your ear with some sound and so this mathlab comes handy. And have you seen people using the tamil word "vanthu" (வந்து) every now and then in conversation without meaning anything by that. It is just like that.
 
Raji Ram said:
I like to record my views here! :)

In our colony there is a group, which chants Narayaneeyam, almost once in a week in one of the group member's houses. When I

talk to them, I find the same type of ego which the Hindi speaking brahmin mAmis who are settled (especially in Bombay / Delhi)
have! They feel one (or more) level(s) above others. Some start preaching, even if others are NOT ready to listen to them! :kev:
Click to expand...


RR ji,

Dont worry..I will teach you Malay.

Speak to those Maamis in Malay.

Tell them "Salam Sejahtera..Apa Khabar? Sudah masak nasi dadih?"(Greeting..how are you? have you prepared Thayir Sadam?)

Belum lagi?? (Not yet)

Tak guna langsung! (good for nothing)

Cepat pergi masak..saya nak makan!(go prepare fast ..I want to eat).


You talk this to them and they will get utterly confused and say "Oye! What happened to the Raji maami? Did she take some Dharu Sharu? What language is she speaking yaar?"
 
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Dear Renu,

Good idea! But ONLY after making sure that the mAmi I am talking to does NOT know Malay!! :spy:
 
Raji Ram said:
Dear Renu,

Good idea! But ONLY after making sure that the mAmi I am talking to does NOT know Malay!! :spy:
Click to expand...

RR ji,

Dont worry..even if she knows Malay she wont know all the*^%$# words that I know..so when in doubt just ask my assistance.
 
Factors to be considered for choosing a Retirement community.

3. One of the main reasons for choosing to move into a retirement ommunity are the numerous facilities avilable. This is what differentiates a Retirement Community from a run of the mill Old Age Home.

The facilities are

1. Kitchen and dining hall where nutritious food is supplied.

2. Regular water supply. R. O water for drinking.

3. Prayer hall. Some communities organize regular discourses.

4. Swimming pool.

5. Jacuzzi.

6. Car Parking.

7. Mini Golf course.

8. Club House.

9. Library.

10. Hospital.

11. Resident doctor.

12. Temple.

The communities offer these facilities to tempt the customers.

These facilities come with a price tag. More the facilities the more expensive the community is. And you pay for using these facilities.

Looking at the brochure of some of the Communities, you may feel that these are not Retirement Communities but gated communities with a number of facilities thrown in.

You have to choose the facilities you want and decide.

Some of the Communities encourage community activities. They have monthly picnics, regular meets, eat outs etc. These activities make the stay pleasant. When we were staying in one of the communities, they had a 3 day Pongal festival with involvement of the nearby villages. It was real fun. They have moonlight dinners once a month. They have get together at the drop of a hat.

Good Retirement communities have a specific person who is in charge of organizing such indoor and outdoor activities for the residents of the community. These activities are the antidote for loneliness and depression. Such activities are recommended by psychologists who treat seniors.

Please check up these.

Average Age of residents:

This was one of the factors in our decision. We did not want to go to place where most of the people are in wheel chairs. There are communities where the average age is 65+. We wanted a younger group.

Conclusion:

All the facilities cost money. Land prices have sky rocketed because of the influx of many Retirement Communities to Coimbatore. The cost of a cottage in a Retirement community in Coimbatore is more than the cost of a flat of similar size in the outskirts of Chennai.
 
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