Of love and relationships ANUSHA PARTHASARATHY

[prasad1]

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??? What happened yaar?

My reply to Biswa was a light hearted one..not a serious one.

My serious question is in the Layman reads Rig Veda thread which no one has answered yet...hoping some person will answer me.

So far I think its pretty obvious when I am kidding and when I am not.

BTW we come with nothing and go with nothing technically...no where in my post I mentioned about Hinduism..all I was saying we come with nothing and go with nothing.

So Prasad ji..where did I confuse anyone in my reply cos I did not talk about religion at all.
Now where in my post the word Hinduism is mentioned.

Coming to the fact that you feel I am deliberately or cleverly misinterpreting Hinduism..this is not the first time I have been told this..so I am kind of used to this...no big deal yaar.

regards

Note: even in Padaiyappa movie Rajini was singing that we come empty handed and we leave empty handed.

I am not going to continue this confrontation.
In your note above "WHO" came and "WHO" left.
If you are the body then what you say is true, but is it true for the Atma?
I agree you did not say about religion, but if an ambassador of India gives a statement can he later say that he was speaking for Pakistan. Similarly a learned person speaks it carries the weight of the person's knowledge. If the new version of Renuka wants to speak like a 10 year old get a new avatar, we expect the old version of Renuka to be more discreet.

 

[renuka]

I agree you did not say about religion,.

When the word religion /Hinduism was not mentioned in the post by me...Prasadji that means there is no Locus Standi.

 

[ashwin_ash]

I am not going to continue this confrontation.
In your note above "WHO" came and "WHO" left.
If you are the body then what you say is true, but is it true for the Atma?
I agree you did not say about religion, but if an ambassador of India gives a statement can he later say that he was speaking for Pakistan. Similarly a learned person speaks it carries the wait of the person's knowledge. If the new version of Renuka wants to speak like a 10 year old get a new avatar, we expect the old version of Renuka to be more discreet.

Suppose you end up a skeleton in a zoology lab, where will your 'atma' be? When you are cremated and your ashes dissolved in some sea or river, where will your 'atma' be? You don't realize, once you're gone, you're gone.. Btw, have you ever seen someone's spirit, because you speak like you've seen one.

 

[vgane]

Dear Renuka,

Honesty is not the wisest policy now because honesty has lost value. You need to replace it with a higher version.

We expect all our friends, relatives and society to be honest...So does it not behove on us to be honest...Let us strive & do our best to be honest..We can define the boundary...Like not causing injury or damage to someone

 

[krish44]

When the word religion /Hinduism was not mentioned in the post by me...Prasadji that means there is no Locus Standi.

I think we are getting over sensitive about remarks looking for hidden meanings in posts where hinduism is not even mentioned. when the other day I happened to remark jocularly that my soul will go to heaven and nowhere else , some asked whether I have christian upbringing. we are overdoing the religion bit and overreacting . pl do not look for hidden meaning in remarks and enjoy the posts . I pity renukaji. let us treat ladies with more respect and dignity else these ladies will leave the forum and we will not get valuable inputs.

 

[tks]

??? What happened yaar?

My reply to Biswa was a light hearted one..not a serious one.

My serious question is in the Layman reads Rig Veda thread which no one has answered yet...hoping some person will answer me.

So far I think its pretty obvious when I am kidding and when I am not.

BTW we come with nothing and go with nothing technically...no where in my post I mentioned about Hinduism..all I was saying we come with nothing and go with nothing.

So Prasad ji..where did I confuse anyone in my reply cos I did not talk about religion at all.
Now where in my post the word Hinduism is mentioned.

Coming to the fact that you feel I am deliberately or cleverly misinterpreting Hinduism..this is not the first time I have been told this..so I am kind of used to this...no big deal yaar.

regards

Note: even in Padaiyappa movie Rajini was singing that we come empty handed and we leave empty handed.

Dr Renu

I bolded the part and wanted to respond..

One of the benefits of an open forum is to be able to discuss freely what is in our mind. Knowing you for sometime here, I and many others do not really think you have any motives behind your comments other than to participate, learn, contribute and have fun.

Hinduism is an umbrella term and it is hard to interpret it, much less misinterpret. This umbrella term includes atheists also even as far back as Sri Sankara's days though the word Hindusim did not exist then . It is all about a 'way of life' striving to understand and lead a life of Dharma.

In Dale Carnegie teachings (about how to win friends and influence people) there is an interesting observation. A seemingly unfair critique is actually a disguised compliment. Not that you are looking for criticism or compliment but let me share my interpretation of recent comments.

I browse few threads in the GD section alone and I am sure there are lots of interesting posts in other areas too. A few more may be like me visiting only few threads.

Based on your posts people know that when you are serious you do have good points to make which is instructive to read.

From Sri Prasad's posts what I understood was that his expectations by reading your posts over the years has been so high that may be he could not understand seemingly jovial comments sometimes of late. The essence of his comment was actually rooted in compliment in my understanding the way I read it.

Now let me share my thoughts about how thought leaders and great story tellers deal with humor. In any topic there are essential teaching or point and in those areas people never make humorous and trivializing statements. In my view in a forum like this it will be inappropriate and sometimes in poor taste to bring profound teachings of Gita and Upanishad to trivial matters (and I am not saying that you did that or anything but I am stating this to make a point).

The humor and other emotional descriptions are best if they belong to the surrounding areas of a discussion (அலங்காரம் aspects) even on serious topics.

My interpretation of the comments you refer to is that perhaps a few of your posts and not in this instance (and I do not follow most of the threads) may not have made sense to some people coming from someone who has earned the rights to be one of the credible members of this forum. I do not think you said anything to insult anything and you dont even have to change your style just based on anyone'e post including mine.

Obviously I am not passing judgement - just trying to interpret and understand the cause for the bolded statement in your post.

One final comment. When our understanding is not strong and we have swallowed a lot of 'teaching' without fully challenging them we may find that our understanding does not help in dealing with certain situations. Then the entire teaching / preaching seem totally ludicrous. I can see some of our atheists and agnostics friends going through such a conclusion. When we come across seemingly contradictory experience compared to our understanding of teachings it is best to ask questions rather than state something emphatically which will not elicit desired response.

Again I am not saying you did any of these but wanted to point out things you already know ...

 

[renuka]

I think we are getting over sensitive about remarks looking for hidden meanings in posts where hinduism is not even mentioned. when the other day I happened to remark jocularly that my soul will go to heaven and nowhere else , some asked whether I have christian upbringing. we are overdoing the religion bit and overreacting . pl do not look for hidden meaning in remarks and enjoy the posts . I pity renukaji. let us treat ladies with more respect and dignity else these ladies will leave the forum and we will not get valuable inputs.

Dear Krish ji,

Dont worry please..BTW I am in for gender equality..that is both men and women to be treated as equals..so why do we actually need anyone to treat ladies better??

As much as I like a man to hold a door for me when I am carrying anything I would also do the same for any man when he needs someone to open the door for him.

You know I am kind of allergic to the word "Lady"..cos "Lady" denotes we have to "behave'LOL

I somehow like the word Woman better or even better the word Female cos I am so used to writing down the words Male and Female in my case records.

Have you ever heard an African guy say the word Woman? There is a real nice way they say it.
I have an African patient who keeps using that word when he refers to his wife ..he says "My woman"..it actually sounds sexy!LOL


As far as I know for now..I do not plan to leave forum..most of us here are like boomerangs..we always come back to forum..some in a different avatar thats all.

Anyway thank you so much for your post...it was very thoughtful of you.

 

[krish44]

Suppose you end up a skeleton in a zoology lab, where will your 'atma' be? When you are cremated and your ashes dissolved in some sea or river, where will your 'atma' be? You don't realize, once you're gone, you're gone.. Btw, have you ever seen someone's spirit, because you speak like you've seen one.

ash ji there is something final about death. once you are gone as you say you are cremated and ashes are in some river. others like karma and rebirth ,soul joining absolute soul are only beliefs of hindu religion.religion is based on faith and it would not be meaningful to justify on scientific basis looking for empirical evidence and from experimentation. Hence it is on take it or leave it basis.Luckily hinduism is a liberal religion. you do not get chased away for your beliefs. you can be a dissenter and get on in life if it gives you satisfaction and happiness.this freedom is what makes me proud to belong to this religion

 

[renuka]

Dr Renu

I bolded the part and wanted to respond..

One of the benefits of an open forum is to be able to discuss freely what is in our mind. Knowing you for sometime here, I and many others do not really think you have any motives behind your comments other than to participate, learn, contribute and have fun.

Hinduism is an umbrella term and it is hard to interpret it, much less misinterpret. This umbrella term includes atheists also even as far back as Sri Sankara's days though the word Hindusim did not exist then . It is all about a 'way of life' striving to understand and lead a life of Dharma.

In Dale Carnegie teachings (about how to win friends and influence people) there is an interesting observation. A seemingly unfair critique is actually a disguised compliment. Not that you are looking for criticism or compliment but let me share my interpretation of recent comments.

I browse few threads in the GD section alone and I am sure there are lots of interesting posts in other areas too. A few more may be like me visiting only few threads.

Based on your posts people know that when you are serious you do have good points to make which is instructive to read.

From Sri Prasad's posts what I understood was that his expectations by reading your posts over the years has been so high that may be he could not understand seemingly jovial comments sometimes of late. The essence of his comment was actually rooted in compliment in my understanding the way I read it.

Now let me share my thoughts about how thought leaders and great story tellers deal with humor. In any topic there are essential teaching or point and in those areas people never make humorous and trivializing statements. In my view in a forum like this it will be inappropriate and sometimes in poor taste to bring profound teachings of Gita and Upanishad to trivial matters (and I am not saying that you did that or anything but I am stating this to make a point).

The humor and other emotional descriptions are best if they belong to the surrounding areas of a discussion (அலங்காரம் aspects) even on serious topics.

My interpretation of the comments you refer to is that perhaps a few of your posts and not in this instance (and I do not follow most of the threads) may not have made sense to some people coming from someone who has earned the rights to be one of the credible members of this forum. I do not think you said anything to insult anything and you dont even have to change your style just based on anyone'e post including mine.

Obviously I am not passing judgement - just trying to interpret and understand the cause for the bolded statement in your post.

One final comment. When our understanding is not strong and we have swallowed a lot of 'teaching' without fully challenging them we may find that our understanding does not help in dealing with certain situations. Then the entire teaching / preaching seem totally ludicrous. I can see some of our atheists and agnostics friends going through such a conclusion. When we come across seemingly contradictory experience compared to our understanding of teachings it is best to ask questions rather than state something emphatically which will not elicit desired response.

Again I am not saying you did any of these but wanted to point out things you already know ...

Dear TKS ji,

Thanks for reply..as one ages he/she does not take life too seriously anymore..hence may be you see humor in lots of my posts.

BTW that post about we come with nothing and go with nothing even from the religious point of view can not be deemed totally wrong..cos this is often said to remind people to be less materialistic and not hold on to anything too tight.

Even Alexander the Great when he died asked for his body to be taken around with his hands up and exposed to show to the world that no matter how much he conquered he left empty handed.

BTW this makes a good read:

Become Soul Conscious!
We brought nothing with us when we came, and would take nothing with us when we leave this world. In fact, we will leave a little extra behind if we lead a life of goodness and philanthropy. If we become soul-conscious, death will be an "ordered" process, carried out in full consciousness and with understanding of cyclic purpose.
Once understood, the fear of death ceases. It gives us a certain power to control our passing over to the other side of the veil. Let us approach death with as much normalcy as we can manage."
How to Approach Death

 

[sravna]

Suppose you end up a skeleton in a zoology lab, where will your 'atma' be? When you are cremated and your ashes dissolved in some sea or river, where will your 'atma' be? You don't realize, once you're gone, you're gone.. Btw, have you ever seen someone's spirit, because you speak like you've seen one.

Dear Ash,

How sure you can be what you see with your eyes or test in a laboratory is real? If you are sure what you see with your eyes exists in the world , how can you deny the existence of what you discern with your mind? Of course you may say that not everything imagined is real but that what is arrived at by the mind alone can also be real, is something you need to accept . Why do you want to restrict reality to what is seen by the eyes only? Its not acknowledging an important source of knowledge.

Scientific knowledge will grow from its kid status only if it acknowledges non physical reality.

 

[krish44]

Dear TKS ji,

Thanks for reply..as one ages he/she does not take life too seriously anymore..hence may be you see humor in lots of my posts.

BTW that post about we come with nothing and go with nothing even from the religious point of view can not be deemed totally wrong..cos this is often said to remind people to be less materialistic and not hold on to anything too tight.

Even Alexander the Great when he died asked for his body to be taken around with his hands up and exposed to show to the world that no matter how much he conquered he left empty handed.

BTW this makes a good read:

approaching death with normalcy-I am reminded of socrates
When prison guards told him to prepare for his death
He said- my whole life has been preparation for death

 

[tks]

Dear TKS ji,

Thanks for reply..as one ages he/she does not take life too seriously anymore..hence may be you see humor in lots of my posts.

BTW that post about we come with nothing and go with nothing even from the religious point of view can not be deemed totally wrong..cos this is often said to remind people to be less materialistic and not hold on to anything too tight.

Even Alexander the Great when he died asked for his body to be taken around with his hands up and exposed to show to the world that no matter how much he conquered he left empty handed.

BTW this makes a good read:

Dr Renu

Someone had sent a write up from a blog part of which I am reproducing here ...



Life is like a river watched from a height in that total panoramic view, we are able to see that endless movement of water, the barriers in the form of boulders trying to cause hindrance to the flow of water and smooth exist in the form of gorge which makes way for the flow. The river water never stops its surge penetrating every abyss in the route and finally meets the ocean.




Well, if life is like water flowing in the river then what are we humans in it?




In the river a log of wood floating on the surface come from one side and another from some other direction, they flow together for a little distance. They may remain in contact for a short time until a strong wave shakes them and then they part again. There are possibilities that these two logs of wood which parted away may meet again but they will have to separate again after sometime. Exactly in the similar fashion in our life we humans are related to each other in the form of father, mother, brother, sister, husband, wife and children. We live together in one life span and get separated, we could meet again in the different birth and again there is separation.




We humans come together for a life time and then drifted away, sometimes to meet again and sometimes never to meet again. So do members of a family come together only for the brief time of this life span. Death is inevitable for those who are born and rebirth is also certain for the dead who has wantons and desires to be fulfilled. There is no harm in developing Bandhavya (relationships) but it should never be of Mamakara (mine-ness) which leads to Moha (attachment). There are fewer twinge in losing Bandhavya while it haunts to lose one with whom we have developed Moha…..…Moha and Mamakara induces ownership, but we can never be owners of anything even our own body.

 

[renuka]

In the river a log of wood floating on the surface come from one side and another from some other direction, they flow together for a little distance. They may remain in contact for a short time until a strong wave shakes them and then they part again. There are possibilities that these two logs of wood which parted away may meet again but they will have to separate again after sometime.

Wow! A perfect escape clause for anyone planning to have an extra marital affair..if they get caught by their spouses that can just say "hey all you guys and I are just log woods floating down the stream of live....so what is the big deal.?You are one log wood and he/she is another log wood..We Came..We Saw ..We Left!LOL




Disclaimer: This post of mine is purely my personal thought.It has no bearing what so ever with any current religion or philosophy.Any similarity between my post and any current religion or philosophy is purely coincidental.

 

[sarang]

Not good, no longer valid and not acceptable. Modern trend is not what the writer or perpetrator thinks or does, but what the other person perceives and how he interprets. So be warned! Many are ready to raise the red flag and do not lower it even if the person says - I am sorry and ready to apologise if my words have unintentionally hurt someone's feelings.

Wow! A perfect escape clause for anyone planning to have an extra marital affair..if they get caught by their spouses that can just say "hey all you guys and I are just log woods floating down the stream of live....so what is the big deal.?You are one log wood and he/she is another log wood..We Came..We Saw ..We Left!LOL




Disclaimer: This post of mine is purely my personal thought.It has no bearing what so ever with any current religion or philosophy.Any similarity between my post and any current religion or philosophy is purely coincidental.

 

[renuka]

Not good, no longer valid and not acceptable. Modern trend is not what the writer or perpetrator thinks or does, but what the other person perceives and how he interprets. So be warned! Many are ready to raise the red flag and do not lower it even if the person says - I am sorry and ready to apologise if my words have unintentionally hurt someone's feelings.

Gibb's Rule 7: "Always be specific when you lie"

Gibb's Rule 6: "Never say you're sorry. It's a sign of weakness."

 

[krish44]

Gibb's Rule 7: "Always be specific when you lie"

Gibb's Rule 6: "Never say you're sorry. It's a sign of weakness."

according to Erich segal -love story-being in love is never having to say you are sorry. Have I confused both sarang ji and renukaji.?

 

[tks]

Wow! A perfect escape clause for anyone planning to have an extra marital affair..if they get caught by their spouses that can just say "hey all you guys and I are just log woods floating down the stream of live....so what is the big deal.?You are one log wood and he/she is another log wood..We Came..We Saw ..We Left!LOL




Disclaimer: This post of mine is purely my personal thought.It has no bearing what so ever with any current religion or philosophy.Any similarity between my post and any current religion or philosophy is purely coincidental.

The log in a river metaphor applies to ALL relationships including your friends, parents, spouse, your extra-marital affairs and your love of things !!

In the end everyone is all alone with a relationship to only their true self if they even can even recognize it.

If someone needs to have an affair they do not need any metaphors or theories . If someone wants to kill their close relatives or spouse they do not need any justification, they only need a relationship to their darkest desires.

There are people who have sold their children to sexual slavery in return for their relationship to money.

Even our attempt to project a persona of our own to others is fake too

All those are logs floating in the river making you think you have some sort of relationships.

In a way none of these are actually big deal

 

[renuka]

according to Erich segal -love story-being in love is never having to say you are sorry. Have I confused both sarang ji and renukaji.?

Gibb's Rule 3: "Don't believe what you're told. Double check."

 

[renuka]

In a way none of these are actually big deal

Try to be the river..let the logs float downstream..do not let them sink and neither let them hold on to you.

 

[krish44]

Gibb's Rule 3: "Don't believe what you're told. Double check."

doube check with whom- spouse?

 

[renuka]

doube check with whom- spouse?

Dont you see NCIS?

 

[krish44]

Dont you see NCIS?

sorry no .what or who is NCIS?.I am an ignorant fellow

 

[tks]

Try to be the river..let the logs float downstream..do not let them sink and neither let them hold on to you.

The metaphor is not suggesting a prescriptive way to try to be something. It was trying to covey that in life one is all alone no matter what you think you are trying. Even the act of trying itself assumes that somehow trying makes a difference ...

One can disagree with a metaphor of an author with or without understanding.

Or add prescriptive element to a description but that may be missing the point of what the author was trying to convey.

 

[prasad1]

sorry no .what or who is NCIS?.I am an ignorant fellow

It is an American TV show.
NCIS is an American police procedural drama television series, revolving around a fictional team of special agents from the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, which conducts criminal investigations involving the U.S. Navy and Marine Corps.

 

[krish44]

It is an American TV show.
NCIS is an American police procedural drama television series, revolving around a fictional team of special agents from the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, which conducts criminal investigations involving the U.S. Navy and Marine Corps.

my enjoyment is increasing as members point out that pleasure comes out of floating like a log in the river with other logs[read old ladies]and seeing NCIS serials. what more do we need . valentine days for the old as advised by chattisgarh govt and ghost stories of kuldhara jaisalmer