Laughter the Best medicine

[Anu]

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Two little boys, aged 8 and 10, are extremely mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The boys’ mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.

So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.
The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,
“Do you know where God is, son?”
The boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an even
sterner tone, “Where is God?!”

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher
raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed,

“Where is God?!”

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, “what happened?”

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, “We
are in BIG trouble this time.

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(”I really LOVED reading next line again and again”)
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GOD is missing, and they think we did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
________________

 

[Anu]

Once a famous speaker said "Best Years of my life were spent in the arms of a Woman who wasn't my wife…"

Audience were in shock & silence… he added "She was my Mother" There was applause & laughter.

One of the audiences tried to crack this at home. After a drink he said loudly to his Wife in Kitchen

"Best Years of my life were spent in the arms of a Woman who wasn't my wife…"

Standing for a moment and trying to recall the 2nd half, he finally blurted out "I can't remember who she was"

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By the time he regained his senses, he was in a hospital bed with Burns of Boiled Water

 

[Anu]

செய்... அல்லது செத்துமடி... " ---- நேதாஜி..
" படி.. அல்லது பன்னிமேய்... " --- எங்கபிதாஜி....


ஆசிரியர்: எவன் ஒருவனால் ஒரு விசயத்தை மற்றவர்களுக்கு புரியவைக்க முடியவில்லையோ அவன் ஒரு முட்டாள்...

மாணவர்கள்: புரியல சார்...



போலீஸ்: பஸ் எப்படி விபத்தில் சிக்கியது ?

டிரைவர்
: அதான் எனக்கும் புரியல சார்... நான் நல்ல தூக்கத்தில இருந்தேன்.



மகன்: அப்பா! ஓவரா என்னை பக்கத்து வீட்டுப்பொண்ணோடகம்பேர் பண்ணிகிட்டு இருப்பியே... இப்பபாரு... அவ 470 மார்க்... நான் 480... மார்க்.

அப்பா: சனியனே... அவபத்தாவதுபடிக்கிறா.... நீ +2 படிக்கிரடா





நாட்டாமை: என்ரா... பசுபதி...எக்ஸாம்க்கு பெவிகால் எடுத்துட்டுப்போற ?

பசுபதி: அய்யா.. கொஸ்டின் பேப்பர் லீக் ஆகிப்போச்சாம்..

நாட்டாமை: என்ர தம்பி சிங்கம்டா.. சிங்கம்டா..... சிங்கம்டா..



முடியாதுஎன்றுசொல்பவன்முட்டாள்....

முடியும்
என்றுசொல்பவந்தான்புத்திசாலி...

இப்ப
சொல்லுங்க...என் " செல் " லுக்கு டாப்அப் பண்ணமுடியுமா...முடியாதா... ?




லவ்லட்டருக்கும் , எக்ஸாம் ’ க்கும் என்ன வித்தியாசம் ?

லவ் லெட்டர்:மனசுக்குள்ளநிறையஇருக்கும்.. ஆனாஎழுதவராது...

எக்ஸாம்: மனசுக்குள்ளஒண்ணுமேஇருக்காது... ஆனாநிறையஎழுதுவோம்... எப்பூடி ?




கணவன்: காலெண்டர் ’ ல என்னப்பாக்குற ?

மனைவி: பல்லிவிழும்பலன்...

கணவன்: கொண்டா.. நான்பாக்குறேன்... அதுசரி... பல்லிஎங்கவிழுந்தது ?

மனைவி: நீங்கசாப்ட்டசாம்பார்ல...






நம்மஅய்யாச்சாமி நடுஆற்றில்படகில்போய்ககொண்டிருக்கிறார்... அப்போது தூரத்தில் ஒரு போர்டு உள்ளதைப்பார்த்து அதில் என்ன எழுதி இருக்கிறதுஎன்று படிக்க முயல்கிறார். ஆனால் அவரால் படிக்க முடியவில்லை... எனவே அவர் படகிலிருந்து குதித்து நீந்தி சென்று படிக்கிறார்...

" இங்குமுதலைஉள்ளது...யாரும்இங்கேநீந்தவேண்டாம். "





நம்ம சூப்பர்ஸ்டார் சாப்ட்வேர் என்ஜினியராக ஒரு படத்தில் நடித்தால் பன்ச் டயலாக் எப்படி இருக்கும் ?

* J to the A to the V to the A --- JAVA
* கண்ணா... வைரஸ்தான்கூட்டமாவரும். ஆண்ட்டிவைரஸ்சிங்கில் ’ லாத்தான்வரும்.
* C க்குஅப்புறம் C++... எனக்குஅப்புறம் NO++

 

[renuka]

"Lord, I have a problem."

"What's the problem, Eve?

"I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."

"And why is that, Eve?"
"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."


"Man? What is that, Lord?"


"A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be as smart as you, so he will also need your advice to think properly."


"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's the catch, Lord?"
"Well . . . you can have him on one condition."
"And what's that, Lord? "


"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring . . . so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret . . . you know, woman to woman."

 

[Anu]

INDIAN HELL


An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks "What do they do here?" He told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a very long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks "What do they do here?"

He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in? "Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Government servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the cafeteria..