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Laughter - The best medicine!

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Raji Ram

Raji Ram

Well-known member
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Raji Ram

Raji Ram

Well-known member
:hug:!!!!!!!!!!

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress.

How much does it cost?"


"Only one kiss per yard, " replied the smirking male clerk.


"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards."

With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth,

then held it out teasingly.
The girl snapped up the package, pointed to a little old man standing beside her, smiled and

said. "Grandpa pay the man."

Source: BabaMail
 
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Raji Ram

Raji Ram

Well-known member
Before and after !!!!!!!!!!!!

Marriage is an exciting part of our life. The vows we made on our wedding day really did mean the world to us,

and we thought the blessed joy of matrimony would never die. However, once we are married, that thrill does

dip - let's be honest about it!


The hilarious joke below makes this truth perfectly clear!

Husband: At last! I can hardly wait!

Wife: Do you want me to leave?

Husband: No! Don't even think that.

Wife: Do you love me?

Husband: Of course! Always have and always will!

Wife: Have you ever cheated on me?

Husband: No! Why are you even asking?

Wife: Will you kiss me?

Husband: Every chance I get!

Wife: Will you hit me?

Husband: Hell no! Are you crazy?!

Wife: Can I trust you?

Husband: Yes.

Wife: Oh my Darling!


This was BEFORE the wedding.

To see what happens AFTER the wedding, read from end (bottom) to start (top) ...
 
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Raji Ram

Raji Ram

Well-known member

A preacher went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule (jackass to the knowing) in the

churchyard. He called the police. Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the preacher

to the health department.
They said since there was no health threat that he should call the sanitation department.

The sanitation manager said he could not pick up the mule without authorization from the mayor. Now, the preacher

knew the mayor, and was not to eager to call him. The mayor had a bad temper and was generally hard to deal with,

but the preacher called him anyway.


The mayor did not disappoint. He immediately began to rant and rave at the pastor and finally said, "Why did you

call me anyway? Isn't it your job to bury the dead?"
The preacher asked the Lord to direct his response. He said:

"Yes, Mayor, it is my job to bury the dead, but I always like to notify the next of kin first!"
 
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Raji Ram

Raji Ram

Well-known member
An 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash.

They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest in health, food, and exercise. When they

reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and

master bath suite and Jacuzzi.


As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "It's free," Peter replied,

"this is Heaven." Next, they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed up to.


They would have golfing privileges every day and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great

golf courses on earth. The old man asked, "what are the green fees?" Peter's reply, "This is heaven, you play for free."


Next, they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out. "How much to

eat?" asked the old man. "Don't you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!" Peter replied with some exasperation.

"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly.


Peter lectured, "That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and

you never get sick. This is Heaven."


With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, shrieking wildly. Peter and his

wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong.
The old man looked at his wife and said,

"This is all your fault! If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"
 
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Raji Ram

Raji Ram

Well-known member

During King Solomon's reign, there was a handsome, successful young man who was wanted by all the young maidens in the

kingdom. This young man was certainly aware of his advantages, and he would go wild with different girls and promise each

of them the whole world. While most of the ladies knew he could not be trusted, two young women took his words seriously

and announced to their family that they were going to marry the most successful and beautiful man in the kingdom.

The rumors of the marriage spread, and the two mothers of the young women who heard that someone else would marry the

wanted man began to quarrel over the fate and future of their daughters. After failing to settle the dispute, the mothers

decided to go to King Solomon, the wisest man, and ask him to decide which of their daughters would marry the boy.

They dragged the young man to court and made their claims to the wise king. Solomon listened to them patiently,

And after they finished he ordered, "Bring me the greatest sword in the palace, I will split the man in two, and

each woman will receive half of him!" The first mother looked rather indifferent and said, "Bring him the sword."

The other mother, who was shocked by the order, yelled, "Your majesty, remove the command, I will give up the

groom-only do not spill his blood!"

King Solomon looked at the women with a big smile and said, "The first mother’s daughter will marry the young man!"

The confused court clerk turned to Solomon and said, "My wise king, aren’t you confused? The first mother was willing

to cut that young man into two!" "Right!" King Solomon replied,

"This proves that she is worthy of being his real Mother in law!"

Source: BabaMail
 
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Raji Ram

Raji Ram

Well-known member
Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into

the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "OOh dad, there's one."

"No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to feed the dogs. We'll just wait."

Well, a little while later, along came this really fat woman. The son said, "Hey dad, she's plenty big enough."

"No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait."

About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with

that one dad. Let's eat her." "No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either."

"Why not?" asked the son. "Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother."

Source: BabaMail
 
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Raji Ram

Raji Ram

Well-known member
A nerd is a NERD!!

Two nerdy male students meet on campus one day.

One of them notices that the other is on a shiny new racing bike.

He calls out to the other: "Hey -- nice bike! Where did you get it?"


"Well," replies the other, "I was walking to class the other day when this pretty, young co-ed rides up on this bike.


She jumps off, takes off all of her clothes, and says 'You can have ANYTHING you want!!'"


"Good choice," says the first, "her clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Source: BabaMail
 
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Raji Ram

Raji Ram

Well-known member
A teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it and to return

the next day to tell their stories.

In the classroom the next day, Joe told his story first, "My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One day we were

taking lots of eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the truck when we hit a big bump in the road; the basket

fell off the seat and all the eggs broke. The moral of the story is not to put all your eggs in one basket."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Next, Mary said, "We are farmers too. We had twenty eggs waiting to hatch, but when they did we only got ten chicks.

The moral of this story is not to count your chickens before they're hatched."

"Excellent!" said the teacher again, very pleased with the responses so far.

Next, it was Barney's turn to tell his story: "My dad told me this story about my Aunt Karen ... Aunt Karen was a flight

engineer in the war and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey,

a machine gun, and a machete." "Go on," said the teacher, intrigued.

"Aunt Karen drank the whiskey on the way down to prepare herself; then she landed right in the middle of a hundred

enemy soldiers. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more

with the machete till the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher. "What did your father say was the moral of that frightening story?"

"Stay away from Aunt Karen when she's drunk."

Source: BabaMail
 
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Raji Ram

Raji Ram

Well-known member

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.

After the initial embarrassment, they both go to sleep, the man on the top bunk, the woman on the lower.

In the middle of the night, the man leans over, wakes the woman and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but

I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket?"

The woman leans out and, with a glint in her eye, says, "I have a better idea, just for tonight, let's make

pretend that we're married."

"OK! AWESOME!" the man says happily.

"GOOD... get your own darn blanket!" came the reply.

Source: BabaMail
 
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Raji Ram

Raji Ram

Well-known member

A fire started on some grasslands near a farm.
The county fire department was called to put out the fire. The

fire was more than the county fire department could handle.
Someone suggested that a nearby volunteer bunch

be called.
Despite some doubt that the volunteer outfit would be of any assistance, the call was made.

The volunteers arrived in a dilapidated old fire truck. They rumbled straight towards the fire, drove right into

the middle of the flames and stopped!
The firemen jumped off the truck and frantically started spraying water

in all directions.
Soon they had snuffed out the center of the fire, breaking the blaze into two easily-controlled

parts.
Watching all this, the farmer was so impressed with the volunteer fire department's work and was so grateful

that his farm had been spared, that right there on the spot he presented the volunteers with a check for $1,000.

A local news reporter asked the volunteer fire captain what the department planned to do with the funds.


"That ought to be obvious," he responded, wiping ashes off his coat.

"The first thing we're gonna do is get the brakes fixed on our fire truck!"

Source: BabaMail
 
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Raji Ram

Raji Ram

Well-known member
Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV when he hears a knock at the door.

When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clipboard and yelling, "You sign! You sign!"

Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts.
Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the

Chinese man starts to yell louder, "You sign! You sign!"


Nelson says to him, "Look mate, you've obviously got the wrong bloke. Please leave", and shuts the door in his face.

The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it the little Chinese man is back with a huge truck

of brake pads. He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling, "You sign! You sign!"
Mr. Mandela is getting

a bit annoyed by now, so he shoves the little Chinese man back, shouting: "Look, push off ! You've got the wrong bloke!

I don't want them!" Then he slams the door in his face again.


The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again. On opening the door,

the same man is standing there thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting "You sign! You sign!" Behind him are two

very large trucks full of car parts.
This time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the little man by his shirt

front and yells at him; "Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want

to give these to?"
The little Chinese man looks at him very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says:

"You not Nissan Maindealer?"

Source: BabaMail
 
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Raji Ram

Raji Ram

Well-known member
OMG! Ali Baba!!

Four men were discussing coincidences at a bar.

The first man said: "My wife was reading a Tale of Two Cities and she gave birth to twins."


"That’s funny", the second man remarked. "My wife was reading The Three Musketeers and she gave birth to triplets"

“My goodness,” the third man chimed in.

“The same happened to me. My wife had quintuplets after reading The Five People You Meet in Heaven.”


The fourth man shouted, now looking quite ill, "Good God, I have to rush home!"

When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed,

"When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves!!"

Source: BabaMail
 
V

V.Balasubramani

Guest
OMG! Ali Baba!!

Four men were discussing coincidences at a bar.

The first man said: "My wife was reading a Tale of Two Cities and she gave birth to twins."


"That’s funny", the second man remarked. "My wife was reading The Three Musketeers and she gave birth to triplets"

“My goodness,” the third man chimed in.

“The same happened to me. My wife had quintuplets after reading The Five People You Meet in Heaven.”


The fourth man shouted, now looking quite ill, "Good God, I have to rush home!"

When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed,

"When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves!!"

Source: BabaMail


Baba mail Jai ho.......

Very useful for C n P. LOL
 
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Raji Ram

Raji Ram

Well-known member
My intention to start this thread is to share good humour received from various sources, with forum FRIENDS!

And, there is NO need for unsolicited comments from others!
 
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Raji Ram

Raji Ram

Well-known member
Oh! Federal government!!

During a terrible storm, all the highway signs were covered with snow.

The following spring, the state decided to raise all the signs twelve inches at a cost of six million dollars.

“That’s an outrageous price!” said a local farmer, “but I guess we’re lucky the state handled it instead of

the federal government.”

“Why’s that?” asked the state trooper that was talking to him.

The farmer paused for a minute before he responded.

“Because knowing the federal government, they’d have decided to lower the highways.”


Source: BabaMail
 
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V.Balasubramani

Guest
My intention to start this thread is to share good humour received from various sources, with forum FRIENDS!

And, there is NO need for unsolicited comments from others!

[h=1]Every member of the Forum start threads only with some intention, idea, thought, etc etc[/h][h=1][/h][h=1]The people who complain should first look themselves in the mirror.
6ac41b696434311a936895a135e5b6a9.jpg
[/h][h=1]If you are beyond comments, then only you should criticise others.[/h][h=1]
The bone of contention is about C n P
[/h][h=1]And the main source for this thread appears to be BABA Mail, etc etc[/h]And now, commenting on others about C n P, just reminds me of the proverb ‘Pot calling the kettle black’.

The Forum is general, while you enjoy the privilege of entering into others thread and pass comments, you should also be equally prepared to face the comments of others. It cannot be a 'one way traffic'. LOL
 
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