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Laughter - The best medicine!

Another light hearted smilie

Senior Politicians X.Y Gidwani and C.D Agnihotri were talking.

C.D Agnihotri : I see your rath yatra is getting lots of crowd everywhere. I envy you

X.Y Gidwani : Oh really? You don't know my suffering. I wanted to take a piss break. But I have to be seated in the same place for 2-3 hours together without moving. It is a big torture. Many times have I thought, to hell with rath yatra....
 
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Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.


Shortly after that they were married. A few months later, on his birthday and on the way home from work, his car broke down. Since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk home. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. It was, after all, his birthday. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had 3 extra large helpings of baked beans.

All the way home he putt-putted. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe. His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and away she went to answer the phone. While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and RRIIPPP !!! It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon winner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead.

With his blindfold still on, when he heard the phone farewells he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, "SURPRISE!!!"

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party!

Source : http://wbenton.tripod.com/humor/Jokeindex167.html
 
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Madam Raji, I have a doubt
Why the jokes are wife centric??
for example மனைவி போடும் காப்பி, கிரிக்கெட் ஆட்டம் மாதிரி சில சமயம் நன்றாயிருக்கும். சில சமயம் சுமாராக இருக்கும். இன்னும் சில சமயம் நாம எதைக் குடித்தோம் என்றே தெரியாது.
When I read the above quoted, I was reminded of this joke:

டாக்டர் : தினமும் காலையில் வெந்நீர் குடிங்க.
பேஷன்ட் : தினமும் அதை தான் குடிக்கிறேன் டாக்டர். எங்க வீட்ல அதை காப்பின்னு சொல்றாங்க.
 
Madam Raji, I have a doubt
Why the jokes are wife centric??..............
May be because the writers are men, Sir!

If women write...... Here is one example from my collection:

செய்தித்தாளைக் காலையில் குனிந்து அவள் எடுப்பதில்லை - கணவர்
செய்யும் உடற்பயிற்சி அது ஒன்றே என்பதால்! :p
 
Here is a rude one!! ( I didn't write it! :D )

An elderly couple talk in the evening:

“Honey, I’m so sorry that I let out my anger at you so often.
How do you manage to stay so calm with my foul moods?”

“I always go and clean the toilet when that happens.”

“And that helps?”
“Yes, because I’m using your toothbrush."
:decision:
 
One more.... So dumb?

"I wasn't drunk yesterday!"

"Oh boy! You took the shower-head in your arms and told it to stop crying!" :lol:

 
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.......
I remember this " daam parimalam naasti, kweem madyamam, pss maha goram, nissabdam prana sankatam
 
In Stuttgart, Germany, a court magistrate must decide on a case of honourable intentions in a situation where a man hired his neighbour to get his wife pregnant.

It seems that Demetrius Soupolos, 29 and his former beauty queen wife, pictured left, badly wanted a child. However, Demetrius was diagnosed by his doctor as sterile.

Therefore, Soupolos, after calming his wife’s protests, hired his neighbour, Frank Maus, to impregnate her. Maus was already married and the father of two children. He also looked very much like Soupolos, the plan looked good.

Soupolos paid Maus $2,500 for the job. All parties involved agreed that for three evenings a week for the next six months, Maus would try to impregnate the beautiful wife for a total of 72 times.

When his own wife objected, Maus explained: “I don’t like this any more than you do, but I am doing it only for the money which we both need. Please understand.”

When the wife of Demetrius failed to get pregnant after six months, he insisted that the surrogate husband submit himself to a medical examination. It was then discovered that Maus was sterile. The discovery shocked everyone except the wife of Maus who was compelled to confess that there was another man who sired their two children.


Soupolos is now suing Maus for breach of contract but the latter refuses to return the money, saying that he made an honest effort to perform and did not guarantee conception.

This is a real story. Source : https://www.philippinesentinel.org/?p=5015

https://yen.com.gh/64399-find-man-sues-friend-failed-72-attempts-impregnate-wife.html#64399
 
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