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Laughter - The best medicine!

Raji Ram

Well-known member
Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into

the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "OOh dad, there's one."

"No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to feed the dogs. We'll just wait."

Well, a little while later, along came this really fat woman. The son said, "Hey dad, she's plenty big enough."

"No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait."

About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with

that one dad. Let's eat her." "No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either."

"Why not?" asked the son. "Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother."

Source: BabaMail
 

Raji Ram

Well-known member
A nerd is a NERD!!

Two nerdy male students meet on campus one day.

One of them notices that the other is on a shiny new racing bike.

He calls out to the other: "Hey -- nice bike! Where did you get it?"


"Well," replies the other, "I was walking to class the other day when this pretty, young co-ed rides up on this bike.


She jumps off, takes off all of her clothes, and says 'You can have ANYTHING you want!!'"


"Good choice," says the first, "her clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Source: BabaMail
 

Raji Ram

Well-known member
A teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it and to return

the next day to tell their stories.

In the classroom the next day, Joe told his story first, "My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One day we were

taking lots of eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the truck when we hit a big bump in the road; the basket

fell off the seat and all the eggs broke. The moral of the story is not to put all your eggs in one basket."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Next, Mary said, "We are farmers too. We had twenty eggs waiting to hatch, but when they did we only got ten chicks.

The moral of this story is not to count your chickens before they're hatched."

"Excellent!" said the teacher again, very pleased with the responses so far.

Next, it was Barney's turn to tell his story: "My dad told me this story about my Aunt Karen ... Aunt Karen was a flight

engineer in the war and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey,

a machine gun, and a machete." "Go on," said the teacher, intrigued.

"Aunt Karen drank the whiskey on the way down to prepare herself; then she landed right in the middle of a hundred

enemy soldiers. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more

with the machete till the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher. "What did your father say was the moral of that frightening story?"

"Stay away from Aunt Karen when she's drunk."

Source: BabaMail
 

Raji Ram

Well-known member

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.

After the initial embarrassment, they both go to sleep, the man on the top bunk, the woman on the lower.

In the middle of the night, the man leans over, wakes the woman and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but

I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket?"

The woman leans out and, with a glint in her eye, says, "I have a better idea, just for tonight, let's make

pretend that we're married."

"OK! AWESOME!" the man says happily.

"GOOD... get your own darn blanket!" came the reply.

Source: BabaMail
 

Raji Ram

Well-known member

A fire started on some grasslands near a farm.
The county fire department was called to put out the fire. The

fire was more than the county fire department could handle.
Someone suggested that a nearby volunteer bunch

be called.
Despite some doubt that the volunteer outfit would be of any assistance, the call was made.

The volunteers arrived in a dilapidated old fire truck. They rumbled straight towards the fire, drove right into

the middle of the flames and stopped!
The firemen jumped off the truck and frantically started spraying water

in all directions.
Soon they had snuffed out the center of the fire, breaking the blaze into two easily-controlled

parts.
Watching all this, the farmer was so impressed with the volunteer fire department's work and was so grateful

that his farm had been spared, that right there on the spot he presented the volunteers with a check for $1,000.

A local news reporter asked the volunteer fire captain what the department planned to do with the funds.


"That ought to be obvious," he responded, wiping ashes off his coat.

"The first thing we're gonna do is get the brakes fixed on our fire truck!"

Source: BabaMail
 

Raji Ram

Well-known member
Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV when he hears a knock at the door.

When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clipboard and yelling, "You sign! You sign!"

Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts.
Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the

Chinese man starts to yell louder, "You sign! You sign!"


Nelson says to him, "Look mate, you've obviously got the wrong bloke. Please leave", and shuts the door in his face.

The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it the little Chinese man is back with a huge truck

of brake pads. He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling, "You sign! You sign!"
Mr. Mandela is getting

a bit annoyed by now, so he shoves the little Chinese man back, shouting: "Look, push off ! You've got the wrong bloke!

I don't want them!" Then he slams the door in his face again.


The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again. On opening the door,

the same man is standing there thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting "You sign! You sign!" Behind him are two

very large trucks full of car parts.
This time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the little man by his shirt

front and yells at him; "Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want

to give these to?"
The little Chinese man looks at him very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says:

"You not Nissan Maindealer?"

Source: BabaMail
 

Raji Ram

Well-known member
OMG! Ali Baba!!

Four men were discussing coincidences at a bar.

The first man said: "My wife was reading a Tale of Two Cities and she gave birth to twins."


"That’s funny", the second man remarked. "My wife was reading The Three Musketeers and she gave birth to triplets"

“My goodness,” the third man chimed in.

“The same happened to me. My wife had quintuplets after reading The Five People You Meet in Heaven.”


The fourth man shouted, now looking quite ill, "Good God, I have to rush home!"

When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed,

"When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves!!"

Source: BabaMail
 
OMG! Ali Baba!!

Four men were discussing coincidences at a bar.

The first man said: "My wife was reading a Tale of Two Cities and she gave birth to twins."


"That’s funny", the second man remarked. "My wife was reading The Three Musketeers and she gave birth to triplets"

“My goodness,” the third man chimed in.

“The same happened to me. My wife had quintuplets after reading The Five People You Meet in Heaven.”


The fourth man shouted, now looking quite ill, "Good God, I have to rush home!"

When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed,

"When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves!!"

Source: BabaMail

Baba mail Jai ho.......

Very useful for C n P. LOL
 

Raji Ram

Well-known member
My intention to start this thread is to share good humour received from various sources, with forum FRIENDS!

And, there is NO need for unsolicited comments from others!
 

Raji Ram

Well-known member
Oh! Federal government!!

During a terrible storm, all the highway signs were covered with snow.

The following spring, the state decided to raise all the signs twelve inches at a cost of six million dollars.

“That’s an outrageous price!” said a local farmer, “but I guess we’re lucky the state handled it instead of

the federal government.”

“Why’s that?” asked the state trooper that was talking to him.

The farmer paused for a minute before he responded.

“Because knowing the federal government, they’d have decided to lower the highways.”


Source: BabaMail
 
My intention to start this thread is to share good humour received from various sources, with forum FRIENDS!

And, there is NO need for unsolicited comments from others!
[h=1]Every member of the Forum start threads only with some intention, idea, thought, etc etc[/h][h=1][/h][h=1]The people who complain should first look themselves in the mirror.
[/h][h=1]If you are beyond comments, then only you should criticise others.[/h][h=1]
The bone of contention is about C n P
[/h][h=1]And the main source for this thread appears to be BABA Mail, etc etc[/h]And now, commenting on others about C n P, just reminds me of the proverb ‘Pot calling the kettle black’.

The Forum is general, while you enjoy the privilege of entering into others thread and pass comments, you should also be equally prepared to face the comments of others. It cannot be a 'one way traffic'. LOL
 

Raji Ram

Well-known member
A school teacher stopped to gently correct her student, when she found him making faces at others on the playground,

She thought for a minute about what to say, then came up with what she thought was the perfect solution.


Smiling sweetly, she said: "Son, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and

I would stay like that."
Just as the teacher paused, David also paused to think and replied:

"Well, Ma'am! I guess that should be TRUE!!"
 

Raji Ram

Well-known member
One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied,

'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week'. The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'Thank You' card and a dozen roses waiting for

him at his door.

Later, a grocer came in for a haircut, and when he tried to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept

money from you , I'm doing community service this week'. The grocer was happy and left the shop. The next morning

when the barber went to open up, there was a 'Thank You' card and a bag of fresh vegetables waiting for him at his door.

Then a politician came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money

from you. I'm doing community service this week'. The politician was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen politicians lined up waiting for a free haircut. :flock:

And that illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

REMEMBER: POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON. ;)

This is a forward from my friend. :)
 

Raji Ram

Well-known member
A judge was punishing three dumb men because they had committed a crime. Their sentence was to spend

a few years in the desert. The judge said that they could each take one thing with them.


The first guy decides to take an umbrella, so that he can have shade whenever he wants.


The second guy decides to take a water bottle so that he won't get thirsty.


Finally, the third guy decides to take a car door.


The judge asked, "Why in the world would you want to take a car door?"


The man exclaimed, "If it gets too hot, I can roll down the window."

Source: BabaMail
 

Raji Ram

Well-known member
Ever like to taste Beans Goat curry or Frog's plait??

Here is a hilarious menu card: (please click on image to enlarge)


hilarious menu card!.jpg
 

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