Intercaste marriages/Reasons

[Raji Ram]

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Dear P S N Sir,

FYI, I am NOT boasting when I say that my extended families have sons in law and daughters in law from other countries and

religions. You seem to have missed my post where I wrote that the parents are lucky if their children get married to brahmins!

My son wanted his bride to be chosen by Ram and me; but IF he had his own choice, what could have been done except grin and

bear it? My good karmA brought a nice brahmin girl as my d i l. That is what I believe.

Thank you!

 

[Vaagmi]

PSN said:

So, all of you want the entire brahmin families must go in for IC AND IP marriages and also convert themselves as NV fellows. Why should not you gentlemen and ladies show the way to others by getting your marriageble wards married to socalled intelligent NBS, converted ST and SC , muslims etc., and publicly releasing the invitation cards mentioning boldly the marriage is an IC or IP without first approching any brahmin family for an alliance for your wards. Doyou all have the guts to do that before preaching to others. You could also inform your religious heads, if any, and get their blssings to mention in the invitation. GOD BLESS YOU ALL

and krish44 said:

I can understand your emotions.Issues do not get settled thru emotions IMHO.

Previously , we all used to find a match only in same caste and sub caste Say iyengar/thengalai or Iyer/vadama ,. Now many have relaxed are ready to accept any tamil brahmin iyer/iyengar. Both my children are this type of mix.But IC or IR I did not have the need to do so . But in my extended family I have both IC and IR.

They have not become outcastes on that account .As a matter of info. We could not find a brahmin match for offspring of B-NB match inspite of trying very hard and had to settle for NB. The child of IR saw it fit to go to US for a better future and finding a mate from another religion, Brahmins are incapable of absorbing anyone else.

I never preach what I do not do or experienced . I am not worse off for the compromises made in terms of caste or religion. One does not do profit and loss account regarding living . One takes what best one gets and live life to maximise happiness and not get caught in caste, subcaste or religion issues. there is more to life than all this

1. The couples in IC or IR marriage have not become outcastes on that account. So IC IR marriages are alright and are as good as brahmin marriages.

What is good and bad is determined by whether the couple become outcastes or not. Great logic.

2. Brahmins are incapable of absorbing anyone else into their family. So go to US and get the recognition.

Material wealth can make one brahmin. The 65 factor of Dollar is quite attractive. That settles the issue for many. Great logic again.

3. One does not do profit and loss calculations regarding living. Live what best comes your way and live life to maximise happiness. Do not bother about caste, subcaste or religion. There is more to life than all this.

Parents owe nothing to their children other than giving birth to them(they call it love children in Europe and US honestly). Parents do not have any duty to teach them the hindu brahmin values. After all what are these values? My parents did not teach me them. So I can not teach them to my children. I give the great, indisputable and heavenly unconditional love to my children which many TB parents do not do because they wallow in ignorance. This unconditional love is such that it gives complete freedom to the children. They go their own way. We do not bother ourselves with their problems. There is indeed more to life than all these.

A cuckoo on the tree outside my bedroom window says " An American mother who carefully asks her daughter not to forget the condom when the girl goes out on one of her numerous dates (in the night) is more honest than these indian (failed) parents". That sets me thinking. LOL.

 

[sarang]

There is bound to be some disruption when large changes in wealth, environment, exposure and cultural invasion happen in a short time. All this will settle down in some time; many will return to the flock and old ways, when material needs lose their charm and worth; and sampradayic spiritual heads are able to get them back. Ahobila matam is quite successful in this.

 

[krish44]

Post53 appears to be day dream

If this thinking gives satisfaction to some , so be it

 

[psnarasimhan]

My dear Sri.Krish,
At my present age I may not be able to do justice to my friends after giving a promise. However I suggest you to go thru.SSMatri.com, ofcourse you must be aware of this matri site. You are sure to get a suitable match for your ward. I can only bless your ward " seekkirameava vivaha praapthi rasthu" Narayana,Narayana,Narayana.

 

[krish44]

Reference post #52
The last four lines are products and inferences of the person who has posted the same.

My post only contains what I think and feel .Others are free to extend their thoughts to believe what they perceive and what they think are logical consequences of their

thinking.

I am not thrusting anything on anyone and I am writing what I believe in . One can take it or trash it if it gives them satisfaction/happiness

 

[psnarasimhan]

Why you people are always think of negative approach. What is the harm in day dreaming.

 

[krish44]

My dear Sri.Krish,
At my present age I may not be able to do justice to my friends after giving a promise. However I suggest you to go thru.SSMatri.com, ofcourse you must be aware of this matri site. You are sure to get a suitable match for your ward. I can only bless your ward " seekkirameava vivaha praapthi rasthu" Narayana,Narayana,Narayana.

Thank you for your blessings.

I am sure Narayana will give me a match who will meet the specifications of the type of girl [poor family etc] you have suggested.

 

[sarang]

It is not day dreaming. It is a happening surety.

Why you people are always think of negative approach. What is the harm in day dreaming.

 

[krish44]

Why you people are always think of negative approach. What is the harm in day dreaming.

After one has crossed 80 years ,it could be a good time pass

 

[krish44]

Ref#post 59 Ahobila mutt can organise a special meet of vadagalai brahmins and make them fall in line. why not?

just a thought..... anything is possible . in haryana they have khap panchayath which political parties cannot take on.

some sect of brahmins in south can try .

 

[Vaagmi]

Ref#post 59 Ahobila mutt can organise a special meet of vadagalai brahmins and make them fall in line. why not?

just a thought..... anything is possible . in haryana they have khap panchayath which political parties cannot take on.

some sect of brahmins in south can try .

No mutt or mutt head can replace parents. It is parents who have to teach values to their children. I taught that to my children and so I have a right to say this here. When they understand the values of a hindu brahmin family and tradition they do not stray. If the father hangs the poonool in a coat stand and speaks about it proudly to others, if a father says poonool serves only the purpose of scratching the back, when he never cares to do any nithya karma, when he never bother to go to temple with family(including children) and tell them how to pray, When a father fails to spend time talking about values with his children, he can expect that his children will certainly go astray.

And such fathers will come here to the forum to speak eloquently of the 'unconditional love' (stupid, it is love after all how can it be conditional ever?)they gave to their children, how they unlocked the uteruses of their daughters to release them from slavery (?), how they allowed their children to make their own decisions like the great, great, great whitemen's children do in US etc., Poor guys they are unable to bear the weight of the truth about their miserable failure in their duties as parents. They won't get another chance at it and that is why all this posturing.

 

[sarang]

Your crass ness is not surprising. Reborn brahmins flock, the matt has only to receive them. Of course some are irretrievably lost, who cares. Free to get back armchair Marxism, the ideology lost, but vasanas remain. Brahmins will flourish, and ex brahmins' cheap barbs will not make any difference.

Ref#post 59 Ahobila mutt can organise a special meet of vadagalai brahmins and make them fall in line. why not?

just a thought..... anything is possible . in haryana they have khap panchayath which political parties cannot take on.

some sect of brahmins in south can try .

 

[krish44]

No mutt or mutt head can replace parents. It is parents who have to teach values to their children. I taught that to my children and so I have a right to say this here. When they understand the values of a hindu brahmin family and tradition they do not stray. If the father hangs the poonool in a coat stand and speaks about it proudly to others, if a father says poonool serves only the purpose of scratching the back, when he never cares to do any nithya karma, when he never bother to go to temple with family(including children) and tell them how to pray, When a father fails to spend time talking about values with his children, he can expect that his children will certainly go astray.

And such fathers will come here to the forum to speak eloquently of the 'unconditional love' (stupid, it is love after all how can it be conditional ever?)they gave to their children, how they unlocked the uteruses of their daughters to release them from slavery (?), how they allowed their children to make their own decisions like the great, great, great whitemen's children do in US etc., Poor guys they are unable to bear the weight of the truth about their miserable failure in their duties as parents. They won't get another chance at it and that is why all this posturing.

Parents can boast about the values they have given their children if it gives them satisfaction and happiness.It is only patting their own backs

We have to ask the children about the grand hindu brahmin family and traditions lovingly thrust on them by parents.

The knowledge [Religeous indoctrination ?] so received, makes them better human beings to face the challenges of modern living { I greatly doubt that} then it would

have been a worthwhile exercise.

Many children who have undergone this at the hands of parents have either rebelled or become dysfunctional children . Religeous fanatics and jehadis fighting for

religion are products of this type of indoctrination by parents.

 

[V.Balasubramani]

No mutt or mutt head can replace parents. It is parents who have to teach values to their children. I taught that to my children and so I have a right to say this here. When they understand the values of a hindu brahmin family and tradition they do not stray. If the father hangs the poonool in a coat stand and speaks about it proudly to others, if a father says poonool serves only the purpose of scratching the back, when he never cares to do any nithya karma, when he never bother to go to temple with family(including children) and tell them how to pray, When a father fails to spend time talking about values with his children, he can expect that his children will certainly go astray.

And such fathers will come here to the forum to speak eloquently of the 'unconditional love' (stupid, it is love after all how can it be conditional ever?)they gave to their children, how they unlocked the uteruses of their daughters to release them from slavery (?), how they allowed their children to make their own decisions like the great, great, great whitemen's children do in US etc., Poor guys they are unable to bear the weight of the truth about their miserable failure in their duties as parents. They won't get another chance at it and that is why all this posturing.

Well said Sir,:thumb:

 

[renuka]

Why you people are always think of negative approach. What is the harm in day dreaming.

Dear sir,

Negative approach is the best approach..its always Neti Neti(Not this..Not this) ..only then even Brahman can be realized.

Day dream is a dangerous state..its a twilight zone between Jagrut state and Swapna state..it never progresses to Sushupti and Turiya.

 

[renuka]

A cuckoo on the tree outside my bedroom window says " An American mother who carefully asks her daughter not to forget the condom when the girl goes out on one of her numerous dates (in the night) is more honest than these indian (failed) parents". That sets me thinking. LOL.

The crow outside my bedroom is even better..it was singing from the Mundaka Upanishad:

Two Little Birds..sitting on a Tree
One eats fruits and the other just sees
One knows all but the other doesnt know
There's only one though two are in a row.



I was totally shocked and told the crow.."Mr Crow Mr Crow..you have such a nice voice"

Mr Crow replied "Ha Ha Ha..this is no stealing Vada from the Patti story..that was my dumb ancestor who fell for sweet talk and lost the Vada to the fox.... BTW you want to hear me sing some more?"

I said "Yes Yes..I would enlightened to hear more Mundaka Upanishad"

Mr Crow replied "Move over Mundaka here comes Randakka!"

Andankaaka Kondakkaari
Randakka..Randakka..Randakka.. Randakka..
Achu Vella Thondakaari
Randakka..Randakka..Randakka.. Randakka.


Moral of the story: Birds do not talk about contraception...its either the Mundaka or the Randakka!LOL

 

[Vaagmi]

Parents can boast about the values they have given their children if it gives them satisfaction and happiness.It is only patting their own backs

We have to ask the children about the grand hindu brahmin family and traditions lovingly thrust on them by parents.

The knowledge [Religeous indoctrination ?] so received, makes them better human beings to face the challenges of modern living { I greatly doubt that} then it would

have been a worthwhile exercise.

Many children who have undergone this at the hands of parents have either rebelled or become dysfunctional children . Religeous fanatics and jehadis fighting for

religion are products of this type of indoctrination by parents.

1. Everything said in this thread can be dismissed lightly with the wave of a hand that it is all boasting or self patting. But that is possible only for one who is oblivious of the universal standard of good and bad. There is certainly a difference between a girl who understands the idea behind drawing a kolam in front of the house front door and the God's sannidhi every day and a girl who gets up at 10 in the morning only to get into a dress and run away to work without a bath (I am speaking about India). There is a difference between the girl who earns handsomely in USD because of her knowledge and the girl who uses her knowledge to explore the frontiers of the mind using psychotropic substances. There is difference between a girl who is restrained in her celebrations/enjoyment because of upbringing and values and the girl who celebrates wildly getting pregnant and not even knowing whose child is there in the womb. In all this there is a universal standard of what is desirable/good. When a parent has brought his/her children in such a way that the children do not fall into any of these and many more universally bad category, he can be truly proud.

2. All value teaching will be indoctrination for those who do not know values. There are more adults who regret the way they have grown up without any values. And they openly blame their parents for that. "துள்ளித்திரிகின்ற காலத்திலென் துடுக்கடக்கி என்னை பள்ளிக்கு வைத்திலனே என் தந்தையாகிய மாபாதகனே" is a refrain I hear quite often. So go and ask any children about the discipline they were subjected to by their parents in a brahmin household you will find only people who thank their parents profusely for what they did to them. It appears you are in the company of exceptions who complain to you about the locks on their uteruses and religious indoctrination.

3. Statistics say religious fanatics and jihadis fighting for religions are mostly from the background of early loss of parents, broken homes, parents deserting them etc., You need to refresh your memory perhaps.

4. And finally how did you get the impression that children who grow up in brahmin households with values and culture of brahmins are not better human beings or that they are unable to face the so called challenges of modern living? Everywhere brahmins are shining and that itself bears out the success of the way they have been brought up. Please check up your facts. LOL.

 

[psnarasimhan]

after one has crossed 80 years ,it could be a good time pass

let it be. Thank you. Then what are you going to do with such people. When your dad reaches that age tell him to keep quite. I pray your dad live long to pass that age. Please do not throw him out for such time passing. How young you are now.? You will also get that period of 80+ and then you will know about time pass.

 

[renuka]

3. Statistics say religious fanatics and jihadis fighting for religions are mostly from the background of early loss of parents, broken homes, parents deserting them etc.

.

Dear Vaagmi ji,

I strongly disagree....most Vaishnavas come from very stable homes!LOL

 

[Vaagmi]

Dear Vaagmi ji,

I strongly disagree....most Vaishnavas come from very stable homes!LOL

I agree with your disagreement and leaves it at that. I thought of a different reply with a strong sting. But being a vaishnav sAtvik I decided to stop with this. That is what is called upbringing, values and culture. LOL.

 

[renuka]

T. All this will settle down in some time; many will return to the flock and old ways, when material needs lose their charm and worth; and sampradayic spiritual heads are able to get them back.

It seems to me that Religion promotes poverty.

What has lack of wealth got to do with spirituality?

Can we really preach religion to a starving person?

Nope.

I feel certain amount of wealth is needed for the mind to even focus on Moksha!

Really....we only can renounce something which we had have and used it and then discard it.

A poor man needs to survive first..earn money..support his family and only then he can think even of religion.

What we call religion today is NOT religion..its just a transaction.

Only when we renounce everything is when we really are religious and thats the only day we really pray...a desireless prayer.

But religious heads seems to favor mankind to be suffering in poverty just to hoodwink them into thinking that lack of material wealth = spirituality.

I read once that a beggar might think he is the same as Lord Buddha becos even Lord Buddha is begging.

But the truth is Lord Buddha gave up everything after having known it..but the beggar has not given up anything cos he has not had a chance to know it yet.

 

[renuka]

I agree with your disagreement and leaves it at that. I thought of a different reply with a strong sting. But being a vaishnav sAtvik I decided to stop with this. That is what is called upbringing, values and culture. LOL.

Well its a well concealed "Sattvik" reply..the sting was intended and had left an impression in your mind even though you did not type it.So technically it is not Sattvic anymore!LOL

This is what is called analysis! the up-going of the impulses with valuable input..the culture of the Central Nervous System!LOL

 

[Vaagmi]

Well its well concealed "Sattvik" reply..the sting was intended and had left an impression in your mind even though you did not type it.So technically it is not Sattvic anymore!LOL

This is what is called analysis!LOL

It is like this.

Two live options present themselves before me simultaneously. I am detached and am looking at them.

One is a scorpion with a sting and another is a flower with fragrance.

Scorpion promotes itself saying the sting is strong and will instantly send the target into a spin.

The flower promotes itself saying it is ever so soft and can sooth the frayed tempers and instantly bring down the temperature to tolerable levels.

The flower further presents a clinching fact. That I am after all a khandarpa and flower is a must for me.

I picked the flower.

This is what is called being poetic and articulate. Being analytic is being a cold reductionist. Being poetic is being live, sensitive, permeating and warm.LOL.

 

[renuka]

It is like this.

Two live options present themselves before me simultaneously. I am detached and am looking at them.

One is a scorpion with a sting and another is a flower with fragrance.

Scorpion promotes itself saying the sting is strong and will instantly send the target into a spin.

The flower promotes itself saying it is ever so soft and can sooth the frayed tempers and instantly bring down the temperature to tolerable levels.

The flower further presents a clinching fact. That I am after all a khandarpa and flower is a must for me.

I picked the flower.

This is what is called being poetic and articulate. Being analytic is being a cold reductionist. Being poetic is being live, sensitive, permeating and warm.LOL.

Well even stings or bites can be poetic..

There is a belief that when a Tarantula bites its victim and the victims get into a hypnotic state and has an urge to get up and dance and leap in the air.

Many piano pieces have been composed to depict this state.

The music is simply mesmerizing..that even when I hit my piano keys I feel like swaying like a Tarantula in its web luring her victim.

So that way I am also like you..the Kandarpa..you lure with flowers..I lure with venom!LOL