I C and I R weddings!

[Raji Ram]

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Dear friends,

Lot of I C and I R weddings are happening, where either bride or groom is a brahmin.

Should we support these or not?

Krish Sir has posted this in another thread:

RSS chief Mohan Bhagwat has announced his intention to support inter caste marriages.

I do not know if he seriously means it.

 

[tbs]

Dear friends,

Lot of I C and I R weddings are happening, where either bride or groom is a brahmin.

Should we support these or not?

Krish Sir has posted this in another thread:

hi

this year 2017....i am attending more than 10 marriages in USA upto december ....including two tambrams...one girl and

one boy....both are tambrams.....the girl is marrying WHITE BOY.....the boy is marrying WHITE GIRL.....so all marriages

are I C /I R .....SAME BREED MARRYING IS VERY RARE IN USA....ONLY GUJUS PREFER SAME BREED...

 

[Daksha Kumar]

Inter cast marriages are okay because both parties are Hindus, like me and my husband. Although I did & have some issues which can be iorned out.

But the issue is when there is a Inter religious wedding there if we cannot bring the non Hindu partner to Hinduism we risk losing a member of our community to another religion or culture.

I think we as Hindus are very reluctant to ask the member from another religion to convert to Hinduism, while others lay it down as a condition.

We must ask at least when the groom is Hindu the bride must be asked to convert to Hinduism.

 

[krish44]

Those Tamil brahminswho went abroad in sixties and thereabouts are paying a heavy toll.

Though they enjoyed the benefits of living in a liberal society and in a land of free enterprise and oppurtunities, their children born and brought up there got exposed to

the lifestyle there and many opted/opting for people of other races/ religion. Many parents are thankful if they marry other indians not necessarily tamil brahmins.

Their divorce rates are also high. Most are in thirtees and are looking for mates similarly placed..

 

[tbs]

Inter cast marriages are okay because both parties are Hindus, like me and my husband. Although I did & have some issues which can be iorned out.

But the issue is when there is a Inter religious wedding there if we cannot bring the non Hindu partner to Hinduism we risk losing a member of our community to another religion or culture.

I think we as Hindus are very reluctant to ask the member from another religion to convert to Hinduism, while others lay it down as a condition.

We must ask at least when the groom is Hindu the bride must be asked to convert to Hinduism.

hi

it may correct....but our grooms ready to convert for the sake of GIRL....becoz getting gal is very hard now...even many

vadhyar boys are ready to marry other caste/religion gals...

 

[Daksha Kumar]

hi

it may correct....but our grooms ready to convert for the sake of GIRL....becoz getting gal is very hard now...even many

vadhyar boys are ready to marry other caste/religion gals...

Well that's why it is important that people are thought to be proud of their culture, this is not only a problem for Brahmins this problem exists throughout the Hindu community.

 

[krish44]

I was reading in one facebook forum one non brahmin boy asking what he should do to get accepted by a tamil brahmin girl.

He says he is genuinely interested in marrying one.

He is well educated from a top college and earning well.

Any advice for him?

 

[Raji Ram]

I was reading in one facebook forum one non brahmin boy asking what he should do to get accepted by a tamil brahmin girl.

He says he is genuinely interested in marrying one.

He is well educated from a top college and earning well.

Any advice for him?

No explicit advice! Another thread was closed when we started that! :lock1:

 

[Daksha Kumar]

What would the members do if their son wants to marry a non Hindu??

How many of you would insist that the other person convert's to Hinduism?

Particularly in case of a son?

 

[tbs]

What would the members do if their son wants to marry a non Hindu??

How many of you would insist that the other person convert's to Hinduism?

Particularly in case of a son?

hi

i speak myself...i have son and daughter...both are in USA...THEY ARE CALLED NRIs...here NRI MEANS...NEVER RETURNED INDIANS..

so both will marry americans only.....but generally here in USA....parents are ready to accept WHITE/HUSPANIC...but

for gals....its hard to accept....we genrally say a common word in our homes....NO BMW....NEVER BMG.....means..

BMW ...BLACK/MUSLIM/WHITE....BMW means....black/muslim/gujarati...just for thought...

 

[krish44]

OK , we can discuss what should we do to ensure TB girls marry only TB boys.

Also how can we encourage/motivate them to marry TB boys alone .

This should warm the hearts of all TB parents.

Someone told his TB girl that if you have to fall in love check his caste/religion first.

 

[tbs]

OK , we can discuss what should we do to ensure TB girls marry only TB boys.

Also how can we encourage/motivate them to marry TB boys alone .

This should warm the hearts of all TB parents.

Someone told his TB girl that if you have to fall in love check his caste/religion first.

hi

better to ask his gothra/nakshatra...then love is more successful...

 

[Raji Ram]

..... Someone told his TB girl that if you have to fall in love check his caste/religion first.

Not possible always!

We read in another thread that a brahmin lady found her F I L to be a non brahmin, only after her wedding!

 

[Raji Ram]

Some brahm girls DO listen to their parents' advice. Recently, I attended a wedding in which the groom was 80% bald! :faint2:

This brahm girl was willing to marry ONLY a brahm guy and selected him, after skype-ing for a few months and meeting

him in person once. He is very intelligent (hence that kind of dome?!?) and the girl is very very happy. But her parents

went on telling everyone that the groom is their daughter's choice!!

 

[krish44]

The most common complaint by TB girls about brahmin boys is that they are not love marriage material.

They lack physical charm -No strong shoulders , muscles .

They are only studies oriented [ called Padips] and ammas boys.

They do not think of marriage until they are thirty plus , thinning at the top and slogging away in MNCs .

They are veg home and pose as teetotallers but consume alcohol, wines and non veg also many times outside home.

This dual behaviour is irritating in the least.

They wait for girls to take the initiative to converse or date.

All these put together is a total turn off

 

[tbs]

Some brahm girls DO listen to their parents' advice. Recently, I attended a wedding in which the groom was 80% bald! :faint2:

This brahm girl was willing to marry ONLY a brahm guy and selected him, after skype-ing for a few months and meeting

him in person once. He is very intelligent (hence that kind of dome?!?) and the girl is very very happy. But her parents

went on telling everyone that the groom is their daughter's choice!!

hi

intelligent comes with.... groom was 80% bald! :faint2:

 

[Raji Ram]

.. intelligent comes with.... groom was 80% bald!

I thought baldness indicates something else - your favorite topic!!

 

[Raji Ram]

Well that's why it is important that people are thought to be proud of their culture, this is not only a problem for Brahmins this problem exists throughout the Hindu community.

What to do, Daksha? Love is blind!

One tambrahm guy fell in love with a semi brahmin (daughter of a Muslim father and UP brahmin mother).

Since the girl's family was NOT orthodox Muslims, he escaped the conversion and was 'allowed' to BE a brahmin

- whatever it means!!

 

[Daksha Kumar]

What to do, Daksha? Love is blind!

One tambrahm guy fell in love with a semi brahmin (daughter of a Muslim father and UP brahmin mother).

Since the girl's family was NOT orthodox Muslims, he escaped the conversion and was 'allowed' to BE a brahmin

- whatever it means!!

But it is blind from both sides isn't it.

So it seems that other religions when they marry Hindus they are keen to get them converted but not vice verca.

So Hindu children must be from a very young age thought to love & respect their culture, then they will also insist that their other partner converts.

For example take a look at Fatima Babu, she is born Muslim, but she seems to be more Hindu than born Hindus ??

 

[GANESH65]

Good topic you have chosen, Krish ji.

One reason I find contributes to love/IC marriages among B' gals is the exhorbitant demands by grooms side (agreed there may be exceptions). Recently two proposals I was trying to finalise after matching horoscope and other compatibilities, for some one known to me, could not be materialised due to the Nagai-nattu, Seer-varisai issues. A love marriage is seen as an easy escape route by many girls to over come this menance, though it proves to be counter productive at a later stage. I think this forum is seriusly discussing the Love/I/c marriages, this issue can also be discussed side by side to analyse how this one affects the probable alliances within our community.

 

[sravna]

IC or IR marriages are love based marriages. The depth in love is generally very questionable and hence there are a lot of separations after sometime. Arranged marriages are somewhat better in this regard as the basis of acceptance of the other person is not based on shallow love but something which goes deeper, like faith in elders, respect for culture and tradition and so on.

Though per se I am not against IC or IR marriages, the reasons they happen is a cause for concern.

 

[krish44]

Concern for whom?

Children need the right to decide.

Girls after 18 and boys over 21 have the legal right.

Issue of caste or religion are made by our forefathers.

In a liberal society these cannot be the only basis for two adults to get into a relationship .

When families coerce,They might end up regretting later.

Already live in relationships are becoming common with both boy and girl becoming career oriented and becoming economic entities.

If it ends in marriage, at least parents are helping them to live a stabler life.

Else it might end up as an affair only scalding both youngsters in a relationship

 

[krish44]

I have come across youngsters -brahmin girls who openly say that they are not interested in the arranged marriage route for marriage.

They would make their own choices and would involve them if need be since they are parents.

Their great fear is that they will foist traditional type of brahmins on them.

These are not suitable for modern living in a changing world according to them.

 

[renuka]

IC or IR marriages are love based marriages. The depth in love is generally very questionable and hence there are a lot of separations after sometime. Arranged marriages are somewhat better in this regard as the basis of acceptance of the other person is not based on shallow love but something which goes deeper, like faith in elders, respect for culture and tradition and so on.

Though per se I am not against IC or IR marriages, the reasons they happen is a cause for concern.

Dear Sravna,

Depth of anything in this world is questionable..I am sure with your spiritual mindset you surely know nothing is not subject to change.

Even though I had an arranged marriage..I do not really believe an arranged marriage is superior to a love marriage or vice versa.

Both are marriages and need commitment for it to work out.

I recently asked my husband..what made him choose me as his wife.

His answer was just one line "Your looks"

See..this is an arranged marriage and he said he chose me cos he felt I looked good(beauty is in the eye of the beholder anyway)

So was that a superficial reason for him to marry me?

I dont think so..cos everyone does look for something in anyone.

Mine was an intercaste arranged marriage.

Faith in culture..respect for elders...I have noted some family members who had inter religious marriage their spouses respect and understand differences in culture too.

Respect,manners etc does not disappear with an intercaste or inter religious marriage.

These are basic human values that can be present or absent in anyone.

BTW I am a progeny of an Intercaste marriage and I feel I turned out just right.

 

[Raji Ram]

Good topic you have chosen, Krish ji........... .

Krish ji??

Actually I started this thread to know whether members of our forum support these I C and I R weddings or not?

So far, only TBS Sir has indicated his views.