Happily divorced

[prasad1]

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Being single, or divorced is not necessarily being lonely.

 

[renuka]

Being single, or divorced is not necessarily being lonely.

True..One can be married and yet feel lonely.

 

[renuka]

Loneliness is a perception.

And as I recently read about Perception.

What is perception?Perception is not a matter of exact and undistorted experience. Perception itself is learned, and is therefore extremely subjective.

taken from:

What Is the Mind?: A Meditator’s Guide, Part 1 by Abbot George Burke (Swami Nirmalananda Giri)

 

[Dr.S.Ramanathan]

Chinna veedu and/or Parastree gamanam have been known and were existing since Vedic times; otherwise, that would not have been included in the Pancha Maha Patakams. During the last century or two, it was more fashionable or exhibitionist to show one's wealth or influence in society. Only. more often than not, it was behind the purdah. Of late, this has become more open, with no social stigma attached.
rgards,
Ramanathan.

 

[renuka]

Chinna veedu and/or Parastree gamanam have been known and were existing since Vedic times; otherwise, that would not have been included in the Pancha Maha Patakams. During the last century or two, it was more fashionable or exhibitionist to show one's wealth or influence in society. Only. more often than not, it was behind the purdah. Of late, this has become more open, with no social stigma attached.
rgards,
Ramanathan.

What about Parapurusha Gamanam?

 

[suraju06]

Renuka:
Being Divorced is not being single all over again.
Divorcees are quite busy with work,educating their children and looking into their finance and well being.
Mostly live with their children or family and life goes on as usual.
Some divorcees might wake up alone daily but that is no big deal finally.

I said:

Then for the divorced single, the life becomes a boring soliloquy in a single Act play they wake up to every day. The pity is that the individual is the actor, director and audience too. It is a miserable existence.

If the Divorcee had a family he/she can have some solace. But it can never replace a spouse lost. Waking up every morning to a world with no one to relate to is an ordeal. This happens with a childless widow/widower too.

None of us married individuals are going to be sharing a bed forever with our spouses.
One day one of us are going to go first..so the Home Alone feeling is bound to come one day..it's just that some are Home Alone much earlier than others.

Very true. The time spent together earlier and its memories keep the life going for them. Not for a divorcee. The earlier she/he wipes out these memories the better it is for her/him.

Most unmarried individuals are quite well adjusted these days.
They are happy and life goes on as usual.
Some have no regrets that they are not married.

marriage is like a besieged fort. Those who are inside struggle to get out and those who are out struggle to get in. There are a few exceptions to the rule in any situation.

 

[suraju06]

What about Parapurusha Gamanam?

parastree gamanam as well as parapurusha gamanam are nature's way of dealing with a certain special situations. There is no need to sit in judgment of them. They are enjoyable escapades for those involved and it is 'bad' for those who did not get a chance.

 

[renuka]

parastree gamanam as well as parapurusha gamanam are nature's way of dealing with a certain special situations. There is no need to sit in judgment of them. They are enjoyable escapades for those involved and it is 'bad' for those who did not get a chance.

LOL!! Very true.

 

[renuka]

Dear Suraju ji,

You wrote:

Then for the divorced single, the life becomes a boring soliloquy in a single Act play they wake up to every day. The pity is that the individual is the actor, director and audience too. It is a miserable existence.

If the Divorcee had a family he/she can have some solace. But it can never replace a spouse lost. Waking up every morning to a world with no one to relate to is an ordeal. This happens with a childless widow/widower too

.



Agreed...but there are many single childless divorcees who do not let loneliness get to them.
Many either get in to non committal relationships or keep themselves busy by joining religious organizations.

I have seen such individuals..they are so busy that they do not even have the time to rest.

BTW to a certain extent I feel almost everything in this world can be replaced.
Time erases all pains even though memories might be stored in the Recycle Bin of the mind.

The human heart is made up of 4 chambers.
2 Atrium and 2 ventricles.
So there is always space for replacement of anyone in our lives.

 

[suraju06]

Dear Renuka,

Agreed...but there are many single childless divorcees who do not let loneliness get to them.
Many either get in to non committal relationships or keep themselves busy by joining religious organizations.
I have seen such individuals..they are so busy that they do not even have the time to rest.
BTW to a certain extent I feel almost everything in this world can be replaced.
Time erases all pains even though memories might be stored in the Recycle Bin of the mind.
The human heart is made up of 4 chambers.
2 Atrium and 2 ventricles.
So there is always space for replacement of anyone in our lives.

I understand what you are saying. But there are some voids which can never be fulfilled. By keeping ourselves busy after a traumatic loss we only try to fill the vacuum. It never substitutes the original.

The two atriums (or is it atria) and the two ventricles are in effect just two chambers as each pair is interconnected. So there is enough space for only two in those two chambers. One is self and the other is the dear one. When a third one comes it is one too many and the space becomes congested.

Please read thishttp://www.tamilbrahmins.com/litera...1-2993-3021-2970-3007-2965-2995-3021-a-4.html #39.

Cheers.

 

[Iyyarooraan]

There are many comparisons and competitions in today's world. They have competition in personal belongings, footwears, and of course divorces! One of the divorcees must definitely be happy. If both the spouses are happy at the divorce, they are really married to happiness. Good think about divorce is you do not have to look for auspicious day/time. They can still celebrate their marriage day as Divorce day because it was the cause. Islam is quickest in granting divorce. Even in sleep if you say - talaaq, talaaq and talaaq (similar to moonnu mudichchu), ​it is over.

 

[N.R.Ranganathan]

Pati, patni and woh !

 

[prasad1]

There are many comparisons and competitions in today's world. They have competition in personal belongings, footwears, and of course divorces! One of the divorcees must definitely be happy. If both the spouses are happy at the divorce, they are really married to happiness. Good think about divorce is you do not have to look for auspicious day/time. They can still celebrate their marriage day as Divorce day because it was the cause. Islam is quickest in granting divorce. Even in sleep if you say - talaaq, talaaq and talaaq (similar to moonnu mudichchu), ​it is over.

On no divorce day has to be auspicious too. First of all you have kill the astrologer who fixed the marriage, because he was fake as a $3.00 bill. Secondly you have to burn all those vows of eternal marriage. A failure of marriage should have consequences, as children suffer.

If the threat of punishment does not work, it means that the punishment was not carried out, or you have to design a better threat. We have become too complacent in our age old rituals, they need to be modified.
When a superstition stops working, it needs to discarded (not to be treated as an aberration).

 

[prasad1]

Good questions:

1)Chinna Veedu is NOT a woman who lives in a small house.
She is a woman who provides a SMALL OPPORTUNITY for man to have some fun on the side.

2)Cost of Chinna Veedu out here is a sports car,condominium,monthly allowance,overseas holidays,designer clothes,diamonds,jewels and business contracts and opportunities.

3)Some woman want this sort of agreement becos it is less of a commitment.
Being a wife is a full time job.
Chinna Veedus out here feel let a wife do all the work and help a man reach his full potential in terms of money and then Chinna Veedus just walk over and enjoy the fruits of action and hard work of the Periya Veedu.

4)Most men think their Chinna Veedus should be loyal to them.
But for a Chinna Veedu..she has no legal compulsion to be loyal.
So if a man is looking for loyalty he is better off having a Canine.

Ask Hemamalini (Chinna veedu). Sorry bjp guys.

 

[renuka]

The two atriums (or is it atria) and the two ventricles are in effect just two chambers as each pair is interconnected. So there is enough space for only two in those two chambers. One is self and the other is the dear one. When a third one comes it is one too many and the space becomes congested.


Cheers.

I am reminded of this stanza in a song:

In the Chambers of my heart,
A Shrine I have for Thee,
Come O' Lord, Come O'Life,
Come Thou Dwell in me.




God is the only occupant who can fill up all chambers of our Heart without congesting our system.
All other occupants come and go some with a trace and some without a trace.

 

[biswa]

parastree gamanam as well as parapurusha gamanam are nature's way of dealing with a certain special situations. There is no need to sit in judgment of them. They are enjoyable escapades for those involved and it is 'bad' for those who did not get a chance.

Do we think there are no negative consequences for these events? Are not all affairs eventually found out, usually to detrimental effect?

 

[biswa]

There are many comparisons and competitions in today's world. They have competition in personal belongings, footwears, and of course divorces! One of the divorcees must definitely be happy. If both the spouses are happy at the divorce, they are really married to happiness. Good think about divorce is you do not have to look for auspicious day/time. They can still celebrate their marriage day as Divorce day because it was the cause. Islam is quickest in granting divorce. Even in sleep if you say - talaaq, talaaq and talaaq (similar to moonnu mudichchu), ​it is over.

Don't know about the ex-spouses. But definitely the children are not happy. Perhaps somebody should put their happiness first?

 

[renuka]

Do we think there are no negative consequences for these events? Are not all affairs eventually found out, usually to detrimental effect?

Dear Biswa,

I was seeing 90210 series last night..you know the one about all teenagers in Beverly Hills?

Ok there was a line there which went "Sometimes the desire for someone might be so strong that we do not think of the consequences"

You see Biswa,none of us really know tomorrow?

So live for the day..if at all anyone gets caught they can quote this:


Whatever happened, happened for the good; whatever is happening, is happening for the good; whatever will happen, will also happen for the good only. You need not have any regrets for the past. You need not worry for the future. The present is happening...

What did you lose that you cry about? What did you bring with you, which you think you have lost?

What did you produce, which you think got destroyed?

You did not bring anything - whatever you have, you received from here. Whatever you have given, you have given only here. Whatever you took, you took from God.

Whatever you gave, you gave to him. You came empty handed, you will leave empty handed.

What is yours today, belonged to someone else yesterday, and will belong to someone else the day after tomorrow.

You are mistakenly enjoying the thought that this is yours. It is this false happiness that is the cause of your sorrows.


Taken from Internet.

 

[biswa]

Hmm, not sure this explanation will always work for the aggrieved party. Unfortunately, most of the women I have met are not so much into philosophy. Even if taken from the internet.

 

[renuka]

. Unfortunately, most of the women I have met are not so much into philosophy.

Dear Biswa,

I have heard this many times..that most women are not so much into philosophy.
You see this is where women lose out to men.

We women should really be into philosophy and talk in riddles and poetry..only then husband will not think it is nagging cos he has to stop and pay attention and think "what is my wife saying?"


You see most women just get worked up and nag like some angry Tasmanian Devil.

 

[renuka]

Pati, patni and woh !

and the Woh can be asking "Hum Aapke Hai Kaun" for the rest of her/his life!

 

[manoharkumar]

Whatever happened, happened for the good; whatever is happening, is happening for the good; whatever will happen, will also happen for the good only. You need not have any regrets for the past. You need not worry for the future. The present is happening...

What did you lose that you cry about? What did you bring with you, which you think you have lost?

What did you produce, which you think got destroyed?

You did not bring anything - whatever you have, you received from here. Whatever you have given, you have given only here. Whatever you took, you took from God.

Whatever you gave, you gave to him. You came empty handed, you will leave empty handed.

What is yours today, belonged to someone else yesterday, and will belong to someone else the day after tomorrow.

You are mistakenly enjoying the thought that this is yours. It is this false happiness that is the cause of your sorrows.

Gitaa in simple words Renuka Madam. very aptly used. Cheers.

 

[kk4646]

Gitaa in simple words Renuka Madam. very aptly used. Cheers.

"Gitaa in simple words Renuka Madam."....aaaahhhhaaaa...is it compliment or....???!! to Renuka Madam or to Gitaa..?

TVK

 

[renuka]

Gitaa in simple words Renuka Madam. very aptly used. Cheers.

Yes sir...it is from Gita only but I did not type the source as from Gita and instead wrote "taken from Internet" so that no one will misunderstand my post.

It is meant to be for fun and no disrespect to Gita.

I wrote that for fun to show how we can actually twist and turn philosophy to suit our whims and fancies !!LOL

 

[guruvayurappan]

And mitra shatru!

dear sir !
shatru(due to marriage ) becoming mitra so shatru mitraa !!
what is the necessity for divorce when they are able to friends divorce
they can have frank discussion & make agreements as suggested by Mr.Ravi
if the wife wants her husband only for initial purpose,then only the problem starts
guruvayurappan