Dear TBS,
Mine was also an arranged marriage. We were not relatives and hadn't seen each other before.
I was very particular about not demanding or accepting dowry. I purchased my dress, wrist watch etc. with my own money. Besides, when my wife landed in my house, I had it fully furnished with Colour TV, Fridge, Sofaset, Cots, Mattresses, Mixie, Gas Stove and Cylinder, Dining Table, Fans, Air-cooler (large) etc. All at my cost. (I already had a brand new motorcycle with me).
I also contributed 50% of the cost of Thirumangalyam and bought the 'Koorai Pudavai' (a silk sari) for her.
There is a small story behind this. I was once travelling in the Pandian Exp from Chennai to Madurai. I and my fellow passengers started chit chatting to pass time.
Gradually the conversation touched the topic of dowry in brahmin families.
Then one of the co-passengers, Prof. Chandrika, HOD of Biotechnology, Madurai Medical College threw a challenge to me, if I would marry a girl without accepting any dowry, even when offered. I was a bachelor at that time and had very lofty ideals and firm principles about my future life. Therefore, without any hesitation, I accepted her challenge.
Now, coming to the point, yes, many brahmin girls are also afraid of the huge expenses of a girl's marriage because of which parents and brothers had to borrow substantial sums which can be redeemed only after 5 to 10 years. Therefore, the unwritten rule of the girl's side bearing the financial burden of conducting the marriage is one valid cause.
Secondly, many parents do not want to lose their daughter's income very soon, because of the huge investment made in her upbringing and education. This delays the marriage beyond a reasonable level. So, the girl attains frustration and starts doubting if she could marry at all in the foreseeable future.
Thirdly, because many girls are brought up like sons with full freedom in many matters, they easily mingle with boys of their age in college or office (workspot). This creates some sort of inexplicable attraction between one boy and one girl. Ofter this is misunderstood as 'love'.
Other grounds for inter-caste marriages are peer pressure, influences by the TV and Cinema, frequent quarrels within the family which force the girl to choose the early marriage as an escape route, financial problems, moral support and help rendered by someone known and the false assurances given by the males concerned to remove the fear and misconception in the minds of the girl.
Over-protected girls also venture to do some experiment with love.
I shall add more points later.
Mine was also an arranged marriage. We were not relatives and hadn't seen each other before.
I was very particular about not demanding or accepting dowry. I purchased my dress, wrist watch etc. with my own money. Besides, when my wife landed in my house, I had it fully furnished with Colour TV, Fridge, Sofaset, Cots, Mattresses, Mixie, Gas Stove and Cylinder, Dining Table, Fans, Air-cooler (large) etc. All at my cost. (I already had a brand new motorcycle with me).
I also contributed 50% of the cost of Thirumangalyam and bought the 'Koorai Pudavai' (a silk sari) for her.
There is a small story behind this. I was once travelling in the Pandian Exp from Chennai to Madurai. I and my fellow passengers started chit chatting to pass time.
Gradually the conversation touched the topic of dowry in brahmin families.
Then one of the co-passengers, Prof. Chandrika, HOD of Biotechnology, Madurai Medical College threw a challenge to me, if I would marry a girl without accepting any dowry, even when offered. I was a bachelor at that time and had very lofty ideals and firm principles about my future life. Therefore, without any hesitation, I accepted her challenge.
Now, coming to the point, yes, many brahmin girls are also afraid of the huge expenses of a girl's marriage because of which parents and brothers had to borrow substantial sums which can be redeemed only after 5 to 10 years. Therefore, the unwritten rule of the girl's side bearing the financial burden of conducting the marriage is one valid cause.
Secondly, many parents do not want to lose their daughter's income very soon, because of the huge investment made in her upbringing and education. This delays the marriage beyond a reasonable level. So, the girl attains frustration and starts doubting if she could marry at all in the foreseeable future.
Thirdly, because many girls are brought up like sons with full freedom in many matters, they easily mingle with boys of their age in college or office (workspot). This creates some sort of inexplicable attraction between one boy and one girl. Ofter this is misunderstood as 'love'.
Other grounds for inter-caste marriages are peer pressure, influences by the TV and Cinema, frequent quarrels within the family which force the girl to choose the early marriage as an escape route, financial problems, moral support and help rendered by someone known and the false assurances given by the males concerned to remove the fear and misconception in the minds of the girl.
Over-protected girls also venture to do some experiment with love.
I shall add more points later.
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