Changing times

[Vaagmi]

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You are absolutely correct Prof Sir! And I would add: She is better than many Iyer girls I know!

She is pretty; holds a Ph D degree; very neat and tidy; loving; soft spoken and a vegan!

She has added two pretty children to our family and we all love all of them.

P.S: But they still feel uncomfortable by the comments of a few of our relatives in the extended family!

ஆதலால் காதல் செய்திலீராயினும் மணப்பீர் வேற்று ஜாதிப்பெண்களை. அவர்களிடம் உள்ள அழகும், Ph.D. பட்டமும்,சுத்தமும் சுகாதாரமும், அன்பும் பண்பும், அடக்கி வாசித்தலும் நல்ல உணவுப்பழக்கங்களும் நம் பெண்களிடம் இல்லவே இல்லை. காதல் வளர்க, வளராவிட்டாலும் கலப்புத்திருமணங்கள் பெருகட்டும். குடும்பத்துப்பெரிசுகளின் வார்த்தைகளை காதில் வாங்கவேண்டாம் பெண்களே. அதுகள் எப்போதுமே அப்படித்தான். ஏதாவது உளறிக்கொண்டேயிருக்கும்.

 

[tbs]

ஆதலால் காதல் செய்திலீராயினும் மணப்பீர் வேற்று ஜாதிப்பெண்களை. அவர்களிடம் உள்ள அழகும், Ph.D. பட்டமும்,சுத்தமும் சுகாதாரமும், அன்பும் பண்பும், அடக்கி வாசித்தலும் நல்ல உணவுப்பழக்கங்களும் நம் பெண்களிடம் இல்லவே இல்லை. காதல் வளர்க, வளராவிட்டாலும் கலப்புத்திருமணங்கள் பெருகட்டும். குடும்பத்துப்பெரிசுகளின் வார்த்தைகளை காதில் வாங்கவேண்டாம் பெண்களே. அதுகள் எப்போதுமே அப்படித்தான். ஏதாவது உளறிக்கொண்டேயிருக்கும்.

hi vaagmi.....

enna aachu....suddenly....changed the direction of the wind.....lol

 

[Raji Ram]

ஆதலால் காதல் செய்திலீராயினும் மணப்பீர் வேற்று ஜாதிப்பெண்களை. அவர்களிடம் உள்ள அழகும், Ph.D. பட்டமும்,சுத்தமும் சுகாதாரமும், அன்பும் பண்பும், அடக்கி வாசித்தலும் நல்ல உணவுப்பழக்கங்களும் நம் பெண்களிடம் இல்லவே இல்லை. காதல் வளர்க, வளராவிட்டாலும் கலப்புத்திருமணங்கள் பெருகட்டும். குடும்பத்துப்பெரிசுகளின் வார்த்தைகளை காதில் வாங்கவேண்டாம் பெண்களே. அதுகள் எப்போதுமே அப்படித்தான். ஏதாவது உளறிக்கொண்டேயிருக்கும்.

வாகமி ஐயா அவர்களே! தாங்கள் கோபமியாக மாற வேண்டாம்!
நம்ம பெண்களில் உயர்ந்தவர்கள் பலர் உண்டு. நம்ம பசங்களுக்குத் தேடத் தெரியலையே! :fish2:

அந்தப் பெண்களில் பலரும் வெள்ளைத் தோலை நாடிப் போகிறார்களே! என்ன செய்ய?

ஏதோ வந்த வரை நன்மையை மட்டும் ஏற்கும் பண்புதான் நல்லது! வேறு வழி தெரியலையே! :noidea:

P.S: You may read this in Nadigar Thilakam Sivaji style!

 

[Raji Ram]

This might be 'arachcha mAvu'. But wish to share it in this thread ......

One of Ram's nephews is very orthodox; sports a tuft; follows the nithya karmAs; a teetotaller; with a handsome salary

in USD! One fine morning a tambram girl invited him for a cup of coffee. And she proposed to him saying that she can easily

tolerate (!!) his 'kudimi' and orthodox way of life but he has to tolerate her 'drinking' and smoking! They can make a good

couple since they are both CAs! No wonder this guy left that place without answering her! :bolt:

 

[Raji Ram]

Follow up story:

Later, that orthodox nephew got married to a girl who has her PhD in Sanskrit and a professional classical singer! :thumb:

 

[renuka]

This might be 'arachcha mAvu'. But wish to share it in this thread ......

One of Ram's nephews is very orthodox; sports a tuft; follows the nithya karmAs; a teetotaller; with a handsome salary

in USD! One fine morning a tambram girl invited him for a cup of coffee. And she proposed to him saying that she can easily

tolerate (!!) his 'kudimi' and orthodox way of life but he has to tolerate her 'drinking' and smoking! They can make a good

couple since they are both CAs! No wonder this guy left that place without answering her! :bolt:

Dear RR ji,

What was wrong with that match??

Both were 'spiritually' high isn't it?LOL

 

[Naina_Marbus]

hi vaagmi.....

enna aachu....suddenly....changed the direction of the wind.....lol

onnum aagalai - he is being just sarcastic!! Best response when dealing with people generalising with “one swallow makes the summer”. Am I right, Mr. Vaagmi?

 

[sarang]

One on 'arasa maram' and the other on 'murungai maram'!

Dear RR ji,

What was wrong with that match??

Both were 'spiritually' high isn't it?LOL

 

[Nara]

You are absolutely correct Prof Sir! And I would add: She is better than many Iyer girls I know!

Mrs. RR, you and I and a few others know that being a good human being has nothing to do with jAti and it is a shame that this even needs to be stated in the twenty first century. The apprehension that comes with IC/IR will recede once the near family gets to know the boy or the girl who has joined the family. Only the diehard caste-pedigree extremists will continue to nurse anger at the loss of jAti purity and make life miserable for all concerned. In coming years their rank will continue to dwindle anyway.

P.S: But they still feel uncomfortable by the comments of a few of our relatives in the extended family!

Such people must be upbraided in no uncertain terms and told to get lost if they continue with such comments.

Cheers!

 

[Nara]

One of Ram's nephews is very orthodox; sports a tuft; follows the nithya karmAs; a teetotaller; ..... she proposed to him saying that she can easily tolerate (!!) his 'kudimi' and orthodox way of life but he has to tolerate her 'drinking' and smoking! They can make a good

This is really a strange story, why on earth this girl even think smoking and drinking by a female will be tolerated by any B, let alone one who is orthodox enough to sport a kudumi, something wrong with the girl, or perhaps she was playing a practical joke on the boy.

In any case, I don't know why drinking is such taboo. Of course, getting drunk and behaving badly must not be tolerated, but what is wrong with moderate drinking? Alcohol does not turn a person into an irredeemable monster.

regards ....

 

[Raji Ram]

This is really a strange story, why on earth this girl even think smoking and drinking by a female will be tolerated by any B, let alone one who is orthodox enough to sport a kudumi, something wrong with the girl, or perhaps she was playing a practical joke on the boy.

In any case, I don't know why drinking is such taboo. Of course, getting drunk and behaving badly must not be tolerated, but what is wrong with moderate drinking? Alcohol does not turn a person into an irredeemable monster.

regards ....

The girl was serious Prof Sir! The parents of the boy and girl belong to the same village. But they knew it only after

meeting in the U S of A. Anyway now the boy is happily married and has a beautiful daughter.

FYI, I consider even social drinking as a bad habit. I could not spend more than a few minutes in a wedding reception

of the son of Ram's cousin because a bar was attached to the dinner table. Of course no one was drunk brim full and

misbehaving!

 

[Raji Ram]

Times are changing. Most of the girls in I T sector consider social drinking as a good habit.

The pubs in Sing. Chennai are filled with lots of girls in 'chick' dress.

 

[Nara]

...FYI, I consider even social drinking as a bad habit. I could not spend more than a few minutes in a wedding reception of the son of Ram's cousin because a bar was attached to the dinner table.

Too bad Mrs. RR, I don't, I have couple of glasses red wine with dinner everyday. None of our social gatherings is complete without a bar.

Cheers!!!!

 

[Nara]

......Times are changing.

Precisely! Those who want to cling to discredited old ideas (to the logically challenged -- I am not saying all old ideas are bad, only the discredited ones like varna/jAti, there are some damn good old ideas like the ones expounded in Thirukkural) can do so, but, unfortunately they bring grief and sorrow to their innocent near and dear ones with it.

Most of the girls in I T sector consider social drinking as a good habit. The pubs in Sing. Chennai are filled with lots of girls in 'chick' dress.

I don't think there is anything wrong with this, but, since India is still stuck in prudish patriarchal value system, they need to make sure they protect themselves from predators. Parents must make sure these girls go with trusted friends as a group so they can protect each other. The kids are going to do it anyway, it is better to proactively guide them to have fun without exposing themselves to unnecessary risks than cry over split milk afterwards.

best regards ... Dileepan

 

[renuka]

FYI, I consider even social drinking as a bad habit. I could not spend more than a few minutes in a wedding reception

of the son of Ram's cousin because a bar was attached to the dinner table. Of course no one was drunk brim full and

misbehaving!

Dear RR ji,

Even though I do not drink..I do not feel social drinking is bad or good.

It is just a different lifestyle that's all.

I group alcohol,cigarette,coffee,tea and paan chewing under the same category..it is habit forming..so its neither really good nor really bad.

 

[vgane]

Times are changing. Most of the girls in I T sector consider social drinking as a good habit.

The pubs in Sing. Chennai are filled with lots of girls in 'chick' dress.

The girls need to be careful in pubs as there are instances of drinks being spiked with date rape chemical

 

[Raji Ram]

............ None of our social gatherings is complete without a bar........

Thank God you don't live in Sing. Chennai.

Our family circle in India does not have social drinking during family gatherings!

The cousin I had mentioned was from Philly and arranged his son's wedding in Thiruvananthapuram.

 

[renuka]

Dear RR ji,

I think I have told this before in forum that I once went to a Pakistani furniture shop out here to look at some stuff and the guy there told me to take a look at the mini bar wine cabinet he was selling.

My husband and I told him that we do not drink and the very next moment they guy assumed that we must be Muslims and told us to purchase new carpets for Eid.

I told my husband that this guy must be thinking that only a Muslim wont drink alcohol!LOL

Anyway we bought what we came to buy with a good discount!

 

[renuka]

The girls need to be careful in pubs as there are instances of drinks being spiked with date rape chemical

True..best to avoid being seen drinking in anywhere cos we have no idea who is watching us and who has what in their mind.

 

[auh]

The fining agents used in wine making are traditionally animal based - gelatin, isinglass, eggs etc. It is only of late that organic agents are used. The old world wines used blood too but that has been stopped now.

A similar process of filtration is done for beer using animal product but there are many that use non-animal substitutes.

So vegetarians and vegans beware.

 

[prasad1]

You can find any excuse to support your "preconceived" end results.
We make choices in life to suit us and then find justification for it.

 

[Raji Ram]

.......... We make choices in life to suit us and then find justification for it.

Very true Prasad Sir!

This has happened several times in my circle of relatives. The start for a match for the son is with specifications like

a pretty girl more than 5' 8" tall; holds masters degree; from an affluent family and so on. After some tedious search

no such girl would be available! Then they justify saying that such a girl will surely be arrogant; it is good that we got

this homely face who is not tall, holding just a bachelors degree and from a lower middle class family! Similar type of

justifications are given for IC / IR weddings too! :blah:

Once a mAmi commented when her grand daughter got married to a mudhaliar boy, 'namma manushA kooda ivvaLavu

AsaiyA irukka mAttA! en pEththi romba adhrishtasAlithAn!!'

 

[Raji Ram]

It is mandatory that I write special oonjal songs for the weddings in our family circle.

The latest one has these lines:

'madhi mugam mandhahAsamAy
Alison-idam nEsamAy
pathiyAy Ana sandhOshamAy
Anubav azhagu roopamAy

rathna oonjalil AdinAr
aththanai sutramum koodinAr
.......................

The song was sung during the oonjal function (venue: Pittsburgh temple) by the groom's chithi and a seems to be a hit!

 

[Vaagmi]

Nara,

Mrs. RR, you and I and a few others know that being a good human being has nothing to do with jAti and it is a shame that this even needs to be stated in the twenty first century.

No one would deny that being a good human being has nothing to do with jAti. But why do you get stuck there. Please move on further. When that "good human being" occurs very frequently in a recognizable homogeneous group of people in a society should you not sit up and recognize it? And
further should you not study to understand why that frequent occurrence is noticed in that societal group? I consider it a shame that this simple and beautiful truth of a "given situation" or a "given fact" is always downplayed, mocked at, opposed and derided with a lot of energy in this twenty first century when statistics and statistical methods have been accepted as reliable scientific tools.

The apprehension that comes with IC/IR will recede once the near family gets to know the boy or the girl who has joined the family. Only the diehard caste-pedigree extremists will continue to nurse anger at the loss of jAti purity and make life miserable for all concerned. In coming years their rank will continue to dwindle anyway.

Just as the caste is a given fact, the IC/IR marriages too, once they have happened, are a given thing. There is nothing that can be done to change the situation. But people can be taught to avoid getting into it by teaching values and several other things about the culture etc.(which you will call supremacist nonsense). So purists will remain purists (I am borrowing the term purists from you because you are unable to see brahmins in any other light) even if IC/IR marriages take place. Don't worry about them.

Thanks.