Anthyesti anthim karyams

[kgopalan]

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The expired person belongs to one suthram , and the kartha belongs to another soothram. and this kartha has to do karma samskaram now the kartha has to do as per the expired persons soothram upto varushabhdeekam and then form varusha aabhdeekam the kartha can do by his own soothram.

But for yajur vedhis they can also do as per bhodhaayana sooktham.and if available he can do with his soothra manthras also at any time.

Cremation was done to the dead body.by some other person with manthras.and also had done sanjayanam the next day properly with manthras. son is coming on or before tenth day ; he can do pindothagam etc. for all the ten days.
For those who met their death by accident ,suicide. poison drinking,murdered , do praayachitham first and then do all karmas.

For cremation done without proper manthras then the son must prepare with help of purasa leaf of dhabhai grass one purusha doll and with proper manthras hr must burn it and do sanjayanam and all other karmas.

For male or female if death occures before 3 months only it must be burried.
From 24th month upto upanayanam eakarcha vidhi dahanam.

from 25th month to 36th month there is thilothagam and pinda dhanam is there.

From 37th month to 48th month thilodhagam,pinda dhanam and narayana bali should be done.

From 49th month to 60th month without manthram asthi sanjayanam.

From 61st month to 84th month without manthram nagnam, navasratham,eakothra vrithi, vrushothsarjanam, aadhyam.

From 85th month to 90th month all nthe above and also shodasam.

FRom 91st month all with manthras and also bashana sthapanam.

From upanayanam upto 12 year age all with manthras except sapindikaranam.

For married persons sapindikaranam must be done.

from the age of four for un upanayanam male unmarried female age no bar only narayana bali must be done, no sapindikaranam; no sratham.

to be continue




KARTHRU KRAMAMS; Persons who can do Pithru Karmas.

(1) Eldest son (puthran) If there are twins the person born second is the eldest. If there are sons through each of his several wives the one who is the eldest is the eldest son. If after taking a boy on adoption, a son is born the biological son is the eldest.
(2) Grand son The son of the deceased person's son.(pouthras)


(3) Prapouthras= The sons of Pouthras.

(4) DATHAN= the son who has been adopted. and the son who has been given for adoption. ( the person does the karma for his own biological father)

(5) The sons of the datthans.

(6) DANAHARI DAUHITRA=The son of the daughter who will be getting the properties of the deceased.

(7) DHANA GRAHANA ABHAVEPI= Even if no properties are got by a daughter , that daughter's son.

(8) PATHNEE= The wife who had married him as per proceeders. For women : If the deceased is a female member and if there are no karthas ae per items as above from 1 to 7 . Husband= The person who has married her as per proceedures laid out in the scriptures; Sapathni puthra:-The son of the second or another wife of the husband who has married her.

(9) PUTHRI Daughter of the deceased.

(10) JYESTA BRATHA= THE ELDER BROTHER OF THE DECEASED BORN TO THE SAME MOTHER.

(11) BRATHA= The other brothers of the deceased.

(12) BRATHRU PUTHRA= The sons of his brothers.

(13) PITHRUVYA PUTHRAN= Sons of the deceased's paternal uncles.

(14) PITHRUVYA PUTHRASYA PUTHRAN The son's of the uncle's son s mentioned in (13)

(15) PITHA= The father of the deceased.

(16) MATHA. The mother of the deceased.

(17) SNUSHA= Daughter -in- law; The person whom his son married as per traditional custom.

(18) POUTHRI The daughter of the deceased's son.

(19) DOUHITHRI= The daughter of the deceased d's daughter ( who had been properly married)

(20) POUTHRASYA PATHNI= The wife of the deceased's son's son.

(21) POUTHRASYA PUTHRI= The daughter of the grandson as mentioned above in (

(22) DATHASYA PATHNI= The wife of the adopted son.

(23) BHAGINI= The sister younger or elder born to the same mother.

(24) BHAGINEYA= The son of the sister's who had been properly married.

(25) SAPINDA= The person from the same family (creed) commencing from the deceased 's paternal grandfather till seven generations before.

(26) SAMANODAKA = The person from the same family (paternal side and creed) Whonis an older member commencing from 7th to 14 th generations.

(27) MATHRU SAPINDA= Any one upto seven generations on the mother's side.

(28)MATHRU SAMANODAKA= Any one from the mother's side from 7th to 14 th generations.

(29) SAGOTHRA= Some one belonging to the same gothra (lineage)

(30)SISHYA= The person who has studied or learned vedas sastras from the deceased.

(31) RUTHVIK= Someone from the same gothram who is given dakshinai for the karma. When there are no relatives any brahmin can be asked to do on payment of dakshnai.

(32)BRUTHYA= The person who has worked under the deceased on employment basis.

(33) GURU= The guru who has given manthra deeksha.

(34) ACHARYA=The teacher who has educated the deceased.
(35) SAHA ADHYAAYE= The person who studied along with the deceased in the same school.

(36) JAMATHA= The son -in-law The husband of the deceased's daughter who is married in the traditional fashion.

(37) SAKHA= A close friend of the deceased.

(38)DANAHAAREE= The person who is getting the properties of the deceased. Any person given a share of the properties can be asked to do the apara karyams.

Hence those who have no son or daughter should determine beforehand , as per the order listed above , the persons(karthas) who should perform the karma after his death.

It is important that one should determine the person who will do the karma as their heir apparent . by transfering his weath and properties to the kartha well in advance and should be known to others also.

There is no restriction. One can make anybody his/her heir.But one must select a person after determining the person's abilities , committment and sincerity for performing aparakarmas and sratha ceremonies every year. that person will be called ABHIMAANA PUTHRAN,

While selecting the kartha the or

 

[kgopalan]

While selecting the kartha the order of precedence should be maintained.and sequentially the elimination should happen before the kartha is selected.

If the kartha is not selected in the above order , the samskarams performed by the kartha is futile and it does not reach the pithrus..

It is the duty of all to make sure that we do the final rites and the subsequent ceremonies to the deceased so that the jeevan attains peace in the heavenly abode.

 

[guruvayurappan]

While selecting the kartha the order of precedence should be maintained.and sequentially the elimination should happen before the kartha is selected.

If the kartha is not selected in the above order , the samskarams performed by the kartha is futile and it does not reach the pithrus..

It is the duty of all to make sure that we do the final rites and the subsequent ceremonies to the deceased so that the jeevan attains peace in the heavenly abode.

dear sir !
kindly clarify who will do last rites to person who is not having children ? his brother 's son or can the brother can do he rites ?in case of a person who is having only daughter ,who is eligible to do the rites ?
guruvayurappan

 

[kgopalan]

His immediate younger brother is having full power to do last rites for the person who is not having children. or the younger brother's son is also eligible, in case his younger brother expired before him.

for the persons who is having only one daughter his brother is eligible.His brother's son is also eligible. his- son- in- law is eligible. If his son in law is also having very old mother and he is the only son for his mother he may refuse to do last rights for his father-in-law. because he will not be eligible to do last rites for his mother , if his mother expires with in one year.

 

[renuka]

His immediate younger brother is having full power to do last rites for the person who is not having children. or the younger brother's son is also eligible, in case his younger brother expired before him.

for the persons who is having only one daughter his brother is eligible.His brother's son is also eligible. his- son- in- law is eligible. If his son in law is also having very old mother and he is the only son for his mother he may refuse to do last rights for his father-in-law. because he will not be eligible to do last rites for his mother , if his mother expires with in one year.

Dear sir,

I have seen a case here where a man had only one son and son was in jail and did not want to attend his father's funeral.

He had 2 daughters and both Sons In Law refused cos they were only sons and had their mothers still alive.

So one of the daughter said she will do the last rites for her father and she even cut her long hair very short for this final rites.

I know it was a case where no one wanted to help her but frankly speaking can't a female do the final rites?

 

[guruvayurappan]

dear kgopalan mama !
thanks for your informative post 54#
with namaskarams,
guruvayurappan

 

[kgopalan]

The act of explaining to the son or daughter or other close relatives about the good nature and help rendered by the deceased and give condolences to them is called Enquiring about the grief. When some one dies his/her jeevan will remain for ten days from the day of death at the place where aparakarmas are being performed.

During all the ten days the jeevan will remain invisible and in a very subtle form,listening to the words spoken by the visitors ,making the enquiries and observing all the events at the place. That is why it is necessary during those ten days to enquire about the grief and recall the good deeds and help rendered by the deceased soul to others.

These acts makes the jeevan of the deceased happy. gossip should be avoided. should not talk ill of the deceased.during these ten days. Our sastras says all the friends of the deceased must also come and those helped by the deceased should visit the house to enquire grief.

It is best to make the enquiries on the day of death, and remain close to the bereaved and assisting them.If this is not possible, one can visit the house on even days except monday, tuesday and friday., even the monday is an even day thanjavur dist. people will avoid going to the deceased house.

If the husband dies while the wife is alive , the obsequies enquiry should not be made on tuesdays and fridays. and ladies should go there after consuming some food and tieing one manjal in the saree thalapu. On the first day and on the 10th day all can go to enquire. there is no restriction. On the first day you may go for enquiry till the body of the deceased is still on that house. you should not go on the first day after the body left the house.

On the first day, those making enquiry should leave the house before the karma is started for the body. If they cannot leave before karma starts , they should leave the place only after the karmas are finished and the body leaves to the cremation ground. One should not leave the place in the middle.

Those who proceed to the cremation ground on the first day should remain there, till the karmas are finished. Some custom suggests that people should also visit the next day for sanchayanam. People who visits the the house of the deceased for condolences should to the extent possible not come in close contact with those of the house avoid bodily contact.

Friends and relatives except close relatives who are visiting the house for condolence should not consume any food or drink in the first ten days. even though it is brought from outside and outsiders are serving you. Those who don't follow these restrictions may not derive the full benefit of their pujas,japams, homas etc;

After making condolences and before entering one's own house ,the person should bathe head to toe in the rear of the house or in the river or pond. In addition the person should again wet his feet before entering the house.

When one travels to another town or city for condolences, he/she should first to go to friend or relative's house , then visit the house of the deceased for condolence. After the visit, he/she must return to the friend/ relative's house again, have a bath and then return to the dwelling place.

If one happens to go directly to the deceased's house for condolence , then he/she must not visit any house on his return but straight return to the dwelling house. Our maharishis with their foresight and considering the welfare of the people have shown restrictions, they are bound to derive the maximum benefit of the good deeds one does in his/her life time.

 

[muraleec]

Dear Sir,

Recently, my father's younger brother (Chithappa) expired. We just finished all the rituals including Homam. Now, wanted to know if we can proceed with festivals, temple visits, offering prarthanai (Kanikkai), etc. during the first year (until Varusha Abthikam). The deceased has only wife and daughter, no male child.

Thank you in advance.

 

[kgopalan]

As per sastras you should not go to temples for one year. After varushabhdheekam only you can proceed with festivals, temple visits , offering prarthana etc;no festivals for this first year.

 

[asadu]

Sir,

Where can I find the Various Dhanams as defined in our sastra for these karmas and what dhanam for which purpose also to whom it should be given ?

(because, yesterday i attended one subasweekaram function and the sastrigal was reading the slokam and explaining, two three people questioned about the dhanams, particularly about gold dhanam and how it helps the departed soul and they could not get proper reply)

thanks in advance.

 

[muraleec]

Daily Poojais

As per sastras you should not go to temples for one year. After varushabhdheekam only you can proceed with festivals, temple visits , offering prarthana etc;no festivals for this first year.

Thank you very much sir for the swift response. How about Kolam, Lighting Lamp and daily poojai at home?

 

[kgopalan]

For one year no kolam in nadu vaasal of the house in the street. But spray cowdung water daily in the nadu vaasal on the road. Daily you wash your house. you may put kolam in the pooja room. you may do daily routine poojas., manthra japams, sandhya vandhanam, gayathri japam chanting slokas. You may lit kuthu vilakku in the pooja room or in the pooja place.

only daily pooja on srijayanthy, vinayaka chathurthy, (You can chant rudhram, chamakam, purusha sooktham, all sahasra namams, slokams.)
navarathry, saraswathy pooja and deepavali and pongal.days. you can prepare on the next day of each festival sweets ansd savories to munch . You should not do on that day kai murukku,seedai, kolukatai etc;

You can take oil bath on deepavali time but should not wear new clothes, no pattasu or sweets and savouries. Do karadian nonbu pooja and wear kair on the hand. without preparing karadai.

 

[Sridhar54]

Hello,
I am new to these forums. Was trying to find an answer to my close friend's (Tamil Iyer,Vadama) dilemma. His wife hates his parents and relations have been strained for over two decades. His parents are old and could get the call from God anytime. Knowing that his wife and parents do not mutually like each other, he is wondering if he should include his wife in performing the rituals. He believes that since his wife hates his parents, he will actually be doing a disservice to his parents by having her participate in the post Demise ritualsAny opinion on this will help.

 

[kgopalan]

Inform to sastrigals. He will make koorcham from dharbai on behalf of his wife . he can do with the help of this koorcham . his wife need not participate.

 

[suraju06]

Respected Gopalan Sir,

I find from your posts that women can perform the anthim karmas for departed relative. Is there any restriction on the women visiting the smasanam where the karmas take place? Thank you.

 

[nannilam_balasubramanian]

In accordance with the Hindu rites, the dead body is brought to Shmasanam for
carrying out antim sanskar or what we call it as last rites. At the cremation ground,
only the Kartha has to carry the sacred fire to Shmasanam (after necessary arrangements
are made by the Vettiayn, who normally resides by the Shmasanam) and light funeral
pyres Chithai after the Sastrigals chant the Mantras.
If I am correct, Hindu scripts too give details regarding the selection of the Site
for Shamsanam. This I heard it from our Sastrigals, who was explaining it on a query
from one of our relatives. He said that it should be on northern direction of village
with the Medai sloping towards south, and it should preferably near a river or
some source of water and should not be visible from a distance.

Traditional creation of dead bodies are usually made of wood and cow dung made
circle pieces (Viratti). In order to facilitate easy cremation, these days, electric or
bio gas based furnaces are used in crematoria.
The Shmasanam is normally said to be abode of ghosts, evil spirits, fierce deities,
etc. Some Mantravadi or Tantrics also use the Shmasanam for their tantric acts.
Hence, people do not visit Shmasanam after night, even cremation is done before
sun set. According to hindu rituals women do not go to shamsanam, only males are
advised to come to the Shmasanam by the Sastrigals and only the Kartha or
his Rep is allowed to perform last rites. Sometimes, in villages Vettians only
reside in or near shamsanam.

Balasubramanian
Ambattur

 

[suraju06]

Dear N. Balasubramanian,

In post #49 Sri Gopalan Sir has said "kartha has to come to the place where cremation is done........" In post # 51 under Karthru kramam, he has further said puthri (daughter) is eligible to be a kartha (9th option). This naturally raises the doubt whether a woman should go the cremation ground if she happens to be the kartha. Please let Sri Gopalan sir answer this question.

Cheers.

 

[renuka]

Respected Gopalan Sir,

I find from your posts that women can perform the anthim karmas for departed relative. Is there any restriction on the women visiting the smasanam where the karmas take place? Thank you.

Out here woman go to cremation grounds too.It is no longer a taboo for a woman to go to a smashanam.

In January this year when my maternal grandmother passed away my mum's bro did the final rites and I was the one helping him put ghee all over the firewood.

 

[nannilam_balasubramanian]

May be some people permit to do it. I shall be thankful if Mr Goplan Sir makes it clear
about this point. In South India, wherever I have visited, mainly Brahmin families, whatever
I noticed, I had submitted the procedure followed for information. I shall be thankful
for Mr Gopalan Sir to brief about it, which would be beneficial to everyone. As far as I know,
submit the following :

After the Mantras are chanted by the Sastrigal, the Karta circumambulates the dead
body anti-clockwise three times, usually starting at the feet, followed by close relatives.
Others are permitted to go round once instead of three times. A few grains of rice,
or coins are sometimes placed at the mouth by the relatives and friends after each round.
Some keep the coins at the dead body's hand and take it to preserve at home. At the end,

the Karta carries a clay pot of water on the left shoulder. Another person - next of kin,
or an authorised person of Sastrigal walks behind him with a sharp iron instrument. Both of
them go around the dead body anti-clockwise three times. When the person carrying the
pot reaches the head each time, he stops for a second or two, and the one with the iron
instrument hits the pot gently to make a hole so that water flows out from the hole.
The first hole is made at the bottom of the pot, the second one at the centre above
the first hole and the third one at the top, above the centre hole. This water is splashed
with the back of the left hand onto the corpse by the person who follows. This procedure
is repeated till three holes are made. At the third round, the pot is dropped behind the person
carrying it. He walks away without turning back or looking at the body. In fact, after litting
the chitha, one is not supposed to see back. The principle behind this concept is that the water
assumed as Ganga Jalam and it is the medium that separates the dead from the living, i.e.
nearest to the kin.

Balasubramanian
Ambattur

 

[Kanhasr]

My mother passed away three days ago,my elder brother fr USA has come fr karyams and returns after 13 day ceremonies.he has no facility fr maya sikas etc .tho he was Martha fr 13 day ceremonies since I live in India can I take over and do maasikam karyams?

 

[kgopalan]

Your elder brother can only do masikams. he can do all he 12 months masikams on 12th day, and can go to USA. Before varushabdeekam he must come here and do all masikams again.

 

[sangom]

Respected Gopalan Sir,

I find from your posts that women can perform the anthim karmas for departed relative. Is there any restriction on the women visiting the smasanam where the karmas take place? Thank you.

Dear Shri Suraju,

As per our custom existing for the last several decades/centuries, women are not allowed to go to the smasaanam. But the rigveda gives a picture as though the womenfolk attending the funeral proceeded (accompanied the procession of the dead body) some way up to the smasaanam, but the priest exhorted them to go back to their houses, take bath and continue their routine.

In those vedic days a man without male progeny could nominate one of his daughters or his only daughter, as the case may be, as his "putrikaa" or son. This entitled that daughter to inherit her father's wealth as if she were a son proper; but the flip side was that her first son was not to do the anthyeshti of his parents but only of his maternal grandparents. Though I have not found any clear evidence, it may have been that if the man died before the putrikaa got a son, she was to perform the funerary rights also; this is my surmise only. Smritis give the list of relatives and I think Shri Gopalan sir has quoted the same.

 

[sangom]

Hello,
I am new to these forums. Was trying to find an answer to my close friend's (Tamil Iyer,Vadama) dilemma. His wife hates his parents and relations have been strained for over two decades. His parents are old and could get the call from God anytime. Knowing that his wife and parents do not mutually like each other, he is wondering if he should include his wife in performing the rituals. He believes that since his wife hates his parents, he will actually be doing a disservice to his parents by having her participate in the post Demise ritualsAny opinion on this will help.

Shri Sridhar54,

For doubts like yours there can be two kinds of solutions, one, strictly as per the Dharma Sastras and Grihya Sootras. Here, the answer is very clear : likes, dislikes in this world will not affect matters relating to rituals after death, and if these are not conducted as per the Sastra injunctions, pitru saapam (curse of the manes) may befall the karta and/or his progeny for the next 7 generations. Hence, your friend's wife must participate in all the after-death rituals.

The second kind of answer is that since our people have migrated to different foreign countries and many of them have also become citizens of those countries, we should make do with whatever others of our group (tabras, Vadama Iyers, if you say so) do there. If your friend sincerely feels that his wife's participation in the post-demise rituals will tantamount to disrespect of his parents, let him do those rituals alone. There is no need to consult and get approval from anybody, imho. The essential point to be ensured is that we remember our parents (at least one day in a year) for all the sacrifices they must have done to take care of us till we could stand on our own legs. I will advise my son who is abroad, to remember us (my wife and myself) after our passing away, if he can do that without any dislike or hostility; otherwise let him not do anything.

As the Charvaakas said, we cannot serve a feast to two brahmins in the ground floor of our house and then say that the hunger of our friend sitting in the first floor of the same house would have been satiated by that. Then where is the question of satisfying the hunger and thirst of people who are no more alive and about whom we have really no reliable idea?

Secondly, the different groups of people in this world remember their dead near and dear ones in very many different ways. Are all these erroneous and only our tabra style is the correct one? If so all the rest of the world's population must be suffering pitru saapam, which does not appear to be the case. I have also heard about a very orthodox brahmin who did not do any post-demise ritual (excepting the lighting of the pyre) because his father was a tyrannical person and had been very cruel to the son during his young days.

 

[sunshine]

Dear Sri KGopalanji

Pranams

Pls. can you explain the ritual /custom to be followed / done by brother/s if his/their sister's husband [means bro-in-law] passes away who has grown up children, daughter married off and son [kartha] not married yet. The deceased is about 80 years old.

The brothers have to give a 6 yards saree to the sister right?? Besides this what other ritual / custom to be done by the deceased's in-laws side from 10th to 13th day ceremony for Iyer Palakkad brahmins? The nephew to be given any veshti or something? And what else?

Kindly explain.

Kind Regards and thanks.
Sunshine

PS: This msg I posted yesterday in the same forum, but not found.......

 

[margam]

Dear Sir,
My sister recently passed away and she is unmarried. J would be thankful if you could kindly enlighten on the rituals that needs to be done and how the pindam on 12th day needs to be joined with the pitru pindams

Thanks
Regards
Chandrasekaran