Anthim Kriya for Parents by willing Daughter: Thought Provoking proposition for modern times of single child norm & No son issue

[vrajagopalan57]

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Om Namo Narayanaya
It is needless reiterate that over centuries of civilization and practice of vedic rituals, the enlightened pandits of Hindu Culture and traditions, have-had uni-vocally advocated that the first right as Kartha for doing all the death rituals is the eldest Son of the deceased and if he is not available than younger brother and finally saha-gothra male person, preferably related directly to father. All these options mostly give the right to MALE only. But, in modern times, with one child norm (practiced by many brahmins) or those having only girl child/children and frankly speaking "Not so Congenial Relation among first relations in the family or do not wish to entrust them the right due to one or the other reasons- a curse" WHY a WILLING daughter cannot be the Kartha?

 

[krish44]

Daughter performing last kriya has become an accepted practice in educated brahmin families.

Nothing new or revolutionary.

In other castes also this is common.

 

[vrajagopalan57]

Daughter performing last kriya has become an accepted practice in educated brahmin families.

Nothing new or revolutionary.

In other castes also this is common.

Yes, I too agree with you & others that few cases are reported in News Paper, especially from North India.
Practical Problems faced by some Brahmin youngsters moved out of India for employment and aged parents visiting them often:
My message was to get the suggestions from the learned Vedic personnel in the Group on such last rights by daughter & practical solution, if any, for follow up rituals.
Also, there was one more query on such final rituals to me by an Indian Brahmin friend working in a foreign country where there is no Electric Crematorium or there is any scope for burning dead bodies. Only Coffin facility is available. So, accidentally something happens to his aged ailing father, how to go ahead with last rights in the foreign country & follow up rituals in India?

 

[prasad1]

I have seen this practiced in the USA by a Tamil Brahmin Family with the help of a willing Orthodox Priest.
Unusual, yes but not novel.

Society and the priests have to adapt or perish.
It might take a little longer for Tamil in TN, it generally takes a decade or more for the memo to reach Chennai, and another decade to percolate further south.

In Hinduism, can a daughter perform final rituals (cremation and bone immersion, etc.) upon her father's death?

Answer (1 of 20): Yes they can. The one who performs the Uttara kriya or Apara kriya is known as Karta. Dharma Sastra describes the order of priority of various persons who can be Kartas 1)Aurasa putra- own son 2)Poutra- Son‟s son 3)Prapoutra- Son‟s son‟s son 4)Datta putra- adopted son 5)Da...

www.quora.com

3. Performance of Shraddha by women
1. In point2 it is mentioned that the daughter, wife, mother and daughter-in-law of the deceased person have the authority to perform Shraddha. In spite of this, in the current era, the priests who conduct Shraddha deny their consent for women to perform Shraddha. This could be because in the earlier days the thread ceremony was performed for females, and in current era, this practice has been discontinued in all classes. Therefore, in accordance to that, even performing of Shraddha has been disallowed for females. In emergency conditions, however, if no one is available for performing Shraddha, then it is better for it to be performed by women instead of not performing it at all.
2. The woman performing shraddha should place a clean cotton cloth on her shoulder while performing ‘Savya-Apasavya’
Reference : Sanatan’s Holy text ‘Shraddha’

When can women perform Shraddha ? - Sanatan Sanstha

Ideally, the host should perform the ritual of Shraddha by himself. However, since we do not know how to perform it, we get it done through the priest (Brahmin).

www.sanatan.org

 

[vrajagopalan57]

?”...Society and the priests have to adapt or perish.It might take a little longer for Tamil in TN,...”. True Sri Prasad. In my opinion, we Brahmins have become more & more adoptable and started accepting girl or boy from other Brahmin clan and even geographical boundaries. We, Brahmins’s shall never “Perish” not we should allow them to perish, because our backbone is our Brahmin traditions, culture and excusing even enemies, if he surrenders. Therefore, unlike previous century, as present day girls/daughters/women are psychologically (emotionally, analytically, logically), educationally & even financially at par with their male counterpart in all the fields, where once Male held monopoly, and our constitution too give equal rights, there is no harm if our own blood “daughter-women” are permitted wholeheartedly without any inhibitions by the “learned & revered Vedic Pandits and Acharyas”-If possible” to perform the most respected Anthim Kriya / services to her beloved parents. When doing Kanyadhan gives Moksham to parents, why we should not allow the same girl child to do Anthim Kriya and show her parents the way for Moksham???? Departed souls, said to be eternally existing near its family for 10 days, too shall feel happy that it’s own flesh & blood with real tears and affection is bidding final good bye.
This is where, we Brahmins may become practically liberal and need not wait for one more Rajaram Mohanrai to end emotional Sati. However, wherever son is physically present and parents have not opted willingly for daughter than it should be SON’s mandatory duty and right as well to perform the last yatra rituals. I may be pardoned by my elders and gurus for my explicit but reasonably feasible expression on hundreds of centuries old time tested and universally accepted and followed rigid & sentimental rituals. Thanks for excusing me. Regards.

 

[prasad1]

I am going to be brutally honest, it may hurt your feelings, I am sorry.

If you wave enough money to most of the priest you can get anything done.

Do you think that if Ms. Nita Ambani or Mayavati wanted to perform some male-only function, there is a man who can deny it?

 

[vrajagopalan57]

Nothing can or should hurt me or anyone, because one has the right to give his/her opinion on debatable issues. Yes, I agree, in Kaliyugam, it appears, even Saraswathi can not question Lakshmi. ?

 

[vrajagopalan57]

Though, I am a rigid conviction Sri-Vaishnavan, believing, following & preaching as well our well established Vedic rituals, I have posted a debatable & controversial thread on “Anthim Karma rights by daughter ...& also, replied a logical person with an additional similar practical query- what to be done in a foreign country where only coffin facility is available and what can be done for followup rituals without Asthi in India”. I shall be happy to hear feasible suggestions (really difficult to break any established rituals) from any Vedic person, including from a member Sri K.Gopalan, who have-had posted a good number of convincing practical solutions on such rituals. Reason for posting this thread has been stated by me already.

 

[c.parthasarathy]

While in Rome live like the Roamans do

 

[prasad1]

While in Rome live like the Roamans do

Improvise and adapt, not aping the Romans.
In the USA we have funeral Homes and Crematoriums that will allow a Hindu priest to perform all Hindu rites before cremation. They will also honor your desire to obtain the ashes.
Again you can perform all rites after the cremation here in the USA or take it to India.

 

[prasad1]

Though, I am a rigid conviction Sri-Vaishnavan, believing, following & preaching as well our well established Vedic rituals, I have posted a debatable & controversial thread on “Anthim Karma rights by daughter ...& also, replied a logical person with an additional similar practical query- what to be done in a foreign country where only coffin facility is available and what can be done for followup rituals without Asthi in India”. I shall be happy to hear feasible suggestions (really difficult to break any established rituals) from any Vedic person, including from a member Sri K.Gopalan, who have-had posted a good number of convincing practical solutions on such rituals. Reason for posting this thread has been stated by me already.

We need people like you. Who might be highly religious but at the same time are progressive, you can lead us through these changes to a better society.

 

[kamu]

very true !

I am going to be brutally honest, it may hurt your feelings, I am sorry.

If you wave enough money to most of the priest you can get anything done.

Do you think that if Ms. Nita Ambani or Mayavati wanted to perform some male-only function, there is a man who can deny it?

 

[kamu]

We need people like you. Who might be highly religious but at the same time are progressive, you can lead us through these changes to a better society.

Pune has women performing all religious functions [ as officiating priests ] - they also do the antim kriya . The Vedas allowed women equal rights in all samskaras, it is only the later period that women were kept in the background and not allowed to do anything except cooking - glad that is slowly going away - but it will take a generation or two before the brahmin population does nt throwup its hnds in horror at the sight of a woman performing any samskaram.

 

[vrajagopalan57]

Thanks for compliments. Wish days are not far off when our next generation shall understand the then & present constraints and practically find value based ways to execute certain emotional rituals.

 

[Mani_Chennai]

When the patriarchal society changes, now due to laws on inheritance, more female priestess will appear. The dead person does not care who did the Karma because the Atman has no sex or paternal burdens.

Daughters doing any kriya should be applauded.

We have no written document to show that Rishi Patnis did not cremate their Rishi husbands as there was not monetary legal inheritance involved. The important thing is not to allow the dead body to rot.

Our society will change slowly, but will change as much as we now have assimilated western dress, food, medicine, education and partners.