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வண்ண வண்ண மனிதர்கள்!
- Thread starter Raji Ram
- Start date
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Raji Ram
Active member
I don't listen to film songs often but a few songs touch my heart!
That lady might have similar thoughts in her mind when she lands in India!
படம் : படிக்காதவன்
இசை : இளையராஜா
வரிகள் : வைரமுத்து
குரல் : K.J.ஜேசுதாஸ்
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ஊரைத் தெரிஞ்சுக்கிட்டேன், உலகம் புரிஞ்சுக்கிட்டேன்,
கண்மணி என் கண்மணி!
ஞானம் பொறந்திருச்சு, நாலும் புரிஞ்சிருச்சு,
கண்மணி என் கண்மணி!
பச்சை குழந்தையின்னு பாலூட்டி வளர்த்தேன்,
பாலக் குடிச்சுபுட்டு பாம்பாகக் கொத்துதடி! (ஊரைத்)
ஏது பந்தபாசம்? எல்லாம் வெளி வேஷம்!
காசு பணம் வந்தா, நேசம் சில மாசம்!
சிந்தினேன், ரத்தம் சிந்தினேன்,
அது எல்லாம் வீண் தானோ?
வேப்பிலை கருவேப்பிலை, அது யாரோ நான் தானோ?
என் வீட்டு கன்னுக்குட்டி, என்னோடு மல்லுக்கட்டி,
என் மார்பில் முட்டுதடி கண்மணி, என் கண்மணி!
தீப்பட்ட காயத்துல தேள் வந்து கொட்டுதடி கண்மணி..... கண்மணி! (ஊரை)
நேத்து இவன் ஏணி, இன்று இவன் ஞானி!
ஆளைக் கரை சேர்த்து, ஆடும் இந்தத் தோணி!
சொந்தமே ஒரு வானவில், அந்த வர்ணம் கொஞ்ச நேரம்!
பந்தமே முள்ளானதால், இந்த நெஞ்சில் ஒரு பாரம்!
பணங்காசக் கண்டுபுட்டா புலிகூடப் புல்லைத் தின்னும்,
கலி காலாமாச்சுதடி கண்மணி என் கண்மணி!
அடங்காத காளை ஒண்ணு அடிமாடா போச்சுதடி கண்மணி..... கண்மணி! (ஊரை)
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Raji Ram
Active member
dear raji, dont know why, but thought of you, when i hurt my stomach laughing at some of the explanations here..
http://cdnw.vikatan.com/timepass/2013/06/mqywuy/images/p26.jpg
http://cdnw.vikatan.com/timepass/2013/06/mqywuy/images/p27.jpg
http://cdnw.vikatan.com/timepass/2013/06/mqywuy/images/p26.jpg
http://cdnw.vikatan.com/timepass/2013/06/mqywuy/images/p27.jpg
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Raji Ram
Active member
உலகம் இவ்வளவுதான்!
இந்தியாவிற்குத் தன் தள்ளாத வயதில் வந்த மூதாட்டியைக் கண்டு வந்தேன்! ஒரு காலத்தில் ஓடியாடி உழைத்தவர்,
நடமாட முடியாத நிலைமையில் படுக்கையில் 24 x 7 x 365.25!! ஒரு இளம் வயதுப் பெண் உதவி செய்ய நியமிக்கப்பட்டு
அந்த வீட்டில் உலவுகிறாள்! சொந்த பந்தங்கள் செய்யாத உதவிகள் அவளால் செய்யப்படுகின்றன.
கூட்டுக் குடும்பமாக வாழ்ந்த காலத்தில், இரக்க மனம் படைத்த ஓரிருவர் முதியோருக்கு உதவிடுவார்; இது போன்ற
பணியாட்கள் வர மாட்டார்கள்! இப்போது 'முதியோரைப் பாதுகாக்கும் பணியாளர்கள் மையங்கள்' சிங்காரச் சென்னையில்
வந்துவிட்டன! பத்தாயிரம் மாதச் சம்பளம்; உணவு தராவிட்டால், அதற்கென மேலும் நாலாயிரம்; பணிக்கு அனுப்பும்
மையத்திற்கு மாதம் இரண்டாயிரம் - ஆக மொத்தம் பதினாறாயிரம்! அவருடைய மகனும் மருமகளும் மீண்டும் வெளிநாடு
செல்ல விழைய, இப்படிப்பட்ட நிலையில் சிறுவயதில் அவரிடம் நிறைய உதவிகள் பெற்ற எவருமே அவரைப்
பார்த்துக்கொள்ள விரும்பாததால், ஒரு நண்பர் 'கடைசி நாட்கள் கவனிப்பு மையம்' ஒன்றிற்கு அனுப்பிவிட உபதேசிக்கிறார்!
அதில் மாதம் இருபதாயிரம் வரை ஆகுமாம், உணவு உட்பட! நினைவு நன்றாக இருந்து, உடல் மட்டும் தளர்ந்து போய்விட்ட
அவருக்கு, இது போன்ற கவனிப்பு மையத்தில் தனியாக விடுவது எத்தனை மனக் கஷ்டத்தைத் தரும்?
மனம் கசந்துதான் போய்விட்டது! உலகம் இவ்வளவுதான்! :sad:
dear raji,
while your post is emotional, and lays the guilt/fault on the current generation for failing to take care of the aged, one fact you have bypassed - ie in the olden days, with large families, everyone had about 8 children on the average, if not more.
while some succeeded, others were average, and one or two stayed behind, contented to watch over the lands or enjoy the benefit of free lodging in the parents' house and such.
today, we have one or two children. and we put the pressure on them to succeed. in my own case, the pressure was to do better and better, and the benchmark of success was to move out of india and do something abroad. when it has drilled into the head of the child from day one, that ultimate goal is 'foreign foreign foreign', without thinking through the consequences of the same, and at the moment of success, to scale back, and become care giver to the aged at home, seems impractical. for most people anyway.
one reason i chose canada, is because it is very kind to let parents in, with short wait period (my parents 2 months 1988). still dad did not come and mum hated it here. and could not adjust, apart fro the usual mil/dil tensions.
i have a whole slew of cousins now, in their 50 thru 60s, all living alone in chennai, with children in usa. i wonder how these will handle their old age, but all of them, 100%, are happy that their children are out of india. for many reasons, but the primary being, the quality of life and educational opportunities.
i am with you 100% re the loneliness and the sense of abandon of the aged, where the son/daughter lives far away. it is one of the side effects of this age, but one way to look at it, is that the usa settled children, when it comes to their old age, they would not have this problem. a society in the midst of great migration - that is what we are.
with modern health and medicine, i feel that we live too long - beyond our normal useful life, and into a vegetative useless state with 100% care needed. previous generations, on an average, died earlier.
there was a lady in toronto, for whom i arranged through my relatives in chennai, affordable old age accommodation. this lady did not thank me. but complained about how high the costs were, and since she had to subsidize the parents, she was having a tough time, what with mortgage and cost of living in toronto. i almost threw up when i heard this. there are children. and children.
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Raji Ram
Active member
Dear Kunjuppu Sir,
What hurts me is this! The son (and d i l) have earned enough and they have come back without finishing all their work
overseas and expect one of his cousins to take care of his elderly mother! All of them refuse saying that she is HIS mother
and not theirs! Living tooooo long is a curse, Sir!
P.J.
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Raji Madam
My sister in law is still looking after her mother who is more than 85; this old lady lost her only son about 10 years back
My sister in law lost her husband about 3 years back.
My sister in law and her aged mother are living alone in T Nagar.
My Sister in Law's son is working in Canada, but she does not want to go there leaving her mother in old age home.
This is the mind of a daughter!!
My sister in law is still looking after her mother who is more than 85; this old lady lost her only son about 10 years back
My sister in law lost her husband about 3 years back.
My sister in law and her aged mother are living alone in T Nagar.
My Sister in Law's son is working in Canada, but she does not want to go there leaving her mother in old age home.
This is the mind of a daughter!!
yes it is an embarassing situation for the son and the mother. personally, i think, it is something to be sorted out between son and mother.
the cousins, cannot be first level support, especially for chronic care. it is a lot of responsibility. if the health is ok, then it is another issue, and probably relations would have no problem if mother stayed with them.
i agree, all in all, a messy situation.
if the son is in mid east, easier to come back to india. if in the west, almost impossible. esp when kids are involved. i think so.
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Raji Ram
Active member
Daughters are great P J Sir! But what I do not understand is, they love ONLY their moms and not the husband's, in most of the cases!
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Raji Ram
Active member
Very true Sir!
Daughters are great P J Sir! But what I do not understand is, they love ONLY their moms and not the husband's, in most of the cases!
raji, the mother daughter bond is considered the strongest bond between two humans. even when they are close to beating each other up, very soon they make up. hard feelings do not last..but on the other hand...between dil/mil மருமகள் ஒடச்சா பொன்குடம் மாமியார் ஒடச்சா மண்குடம் ! no?
it is just not meant to be. it is a rare dil, who will nurse feed cleanup care the mamiyar. after all, the lady is a stranger. whereas with the mother, it is one who gave birth to her and succoured her through growing up and maturity.
i have always advocated mothers to stay with the daughters and not worry about the loss of 'gauravam' re not staying with sons. it has historically worked well and free of tensions. the sons can contribute financially, and that will be appreciated by the son in law, who normally does not care if the mil lives with them. atleast in the cases that i know.
P.J.
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Daughters are great P J Sir! But what I do not understand is, they love ONLY their moms and not the husband's, in most of the cases!
Raji Madam
They love their husbands, no two opinions about that.
As Kunjuppu Sir Pointed out, daughter/mother relationship is always different, the fight verbally, but never takes seriously.
Mother's staying with daughter is not always possible because son in law parents might be staying with her.
In my sister in law's mother's case, her daughter in law is staying with her son who is in Singapore, although she come back after her Visa period is over, again she goes back; so she has to stay with her daughter.
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Raji Ram
Active member
Now a days it is the other way!
மருமகள் ஒடச்சா மண்குடம்; மாமியார் ஒடச்சா பொன்குடம்!!
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Raji Ram
Active member
Dear Kunjuppu Sir,
There are some DILs in our family circle who take care of their MIL with love. One DIL has 'Ayilyam' star for which the family
objected once upon a time to select! (Ayilyam mAmiyArukku AgAdhu!) She is one of the best DILs in our family circle. :thumb:
I thought of sharing the following:
At one time, many people in the Western world anticipated retiring in their 50s or 60s. Now, they are embarking on new careers at the very time that they might have previously been expected to begin a life of leisure. Increased longevity and a drive to keep contributing to society have led to what are often referred to as "encore careers"Marci Alboher is the author of The Encore Career Handbook: How to Make a Living and a Difference in the Second Half of Life. She is also vice president of Encore.org, a nonprofit that helps millions of people pursue second acts for the greater good.This is what she has to say:“Ten thousand baby boomers are turning 65 every day, and it's going to be like that for the next 20 years or so. By 2050, we're going to have more people over 65 than under 30. This is a very big demographic shift. At the same time, we have a longevity shift. It's not so much that we're living longer; we are living longer technically by a few years. But the period of life that's extended -- 50s to 70s -- are years of vitality and engagement that used to be years that weren't that useful to people.”
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Raji Ram
Active member
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Raji Ram
Active member
இடிப்பாரை இல்லா......
தட்டிக் கேட்க ஆளில்லாதவர், தான் செய்யும் தவறைத் தெரிந்துகொள்ளவே மாட்டார்! செல்வச் செழிப்பு உள்ளதால்,
அவரைச் சுற்றி ஒரு 'ஆமாம் சாமி'க் கூட்டம் இருக்கும். என்ன செய்தாலும் எவரும் தட்டிக் கேட்க மாட்டார்கள்! வீண்
செலவுகள் எத்தனை செய்தாலும், எவரை மதிக்காமல் பேசினாலும், யாரும் அறிவுரை வழங்க மாட்டார்கள்! ஏனெனில்,
அவருடைய மதிப்பும், பண பலமும் அத்தகையது. இது போன்ற மனிதர்களிடம் கொஞ்சம் ஒதுங்கி இருத்தல் நலம். நாம்
ஏதேனும் நல்வழி சொன்னாலும், தவறாகவே புரிந்துகொண்டு தாக்குவார்கள்!
'இடிப்பாரை இல்லா ஏமரா மன்னன்
கெடுப்பார் இலானும் கெடும்'
என்ற குறளின் பொருளை இவர்கள் அனுபவத்தில்தான் அறிவார்கள்!! :decision:
mskmoorthy
Active member
The same sentiment (in fact the same sloka) is stated in vidur nIti (mahAbhArata, AshramavAsika parva) , vAlmiki rAmayana Aranya kAnda
yudha kAndA
http://www.tamilbrahmins.com/litera...-2992-3016-2965-2995-3021-a-6.html#post177134
सुलभाः पुरुषा राजन्, सततं प्रियवादिनः ।
अप्रियस्य तु पथ्यस्य, वक्ता श्रोता च दुर्लभः ॥
sulabhAH puruShA rAjan, satataM priyavAdinaH |
apriyasya tu pathyasya, vaktA shrotA cha durlabhaH ||
--vAlmIki rAmAyaNam 3.37.2. and 6.16.21
It is easy to find people, O King, who always speak pleasantly.
Those who speak unpleasant things that are recuperative and those who listen to it are hard to find.
yudha kAndA
http://www.tamilbrahmins.com/litera...-2992-3016-2965-2995-3021-a-6.html#post177134
सुलभाः पुरुषा राजन्, सततं प्रियवादिनः ।
अप्रियस्य तु पथ्यस्य, वक्ता श्रोता च दुर्लभः ॥
sulabhAH puruShA rAjan, satataM priyavAdinaH |
apriyasya tu pathyasya, vaktA shrotA cha durlabhaH ||
--vAlmIki rAmAyaNam 3.37.2. and 6.16.21
It is easy to find people, O King, who always speak pleasantly.
Those who speak unpleasant things that are recuperative and those who listen to it are hard to find.
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Raji Ram
Active member
Dear Kunjuppu Sir,
I have been observing for quite some years! No one wants to take advice especially if it is something to correct them!
I have stopped advising people long back! It is a general observation of many people in my circle of relatives and friends!
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Raji Ram
Active member
Dear Prof. M S K Sir,
Thanks a lot for pointing it out! I take pleasure in quoting Saidevo Sir here:
Dear Kunjuppu Sir,
I have been observing for quite some years! No one wants to take advice especially if it is something to correct them!
I have stopped advising people long back! It is a general observation of many people in my circle of relatives and friends!
thank you raji.
it works two ways too. do you take advice from people? how easily you accept that? i am not kidding here.
most often, we dont like to hear the truth. and it takes a little bit of humility, to understand that we may be in the wrong, and sometimes, for many things, to think through the process, and come to a solution acceptable to us.
most often, we also tend to misunderstand. we fail to ask the most important follow up - ie CLARIFICATION. what did you mean when you said this? or that?
i can only think of the no of times, my own posts here have been misunderstood, deliberately or otherwise. such is life!!
my father had this wonderful habit...he used to ask atleast 3 people for perspective on any important decision. he used to get 3 different viewpoints, but from that, he was able to distil and form the best solution for him. what was good for him, may not have been what was suggested, but those pieces of advice helped him form a conclusion, based on more information. i wish i had done these on many an occassion and i would have been a million dolla richer
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Raji Ram
Active member
1. I have accepted many so far! In fact, Ram was recommended by my dear sis V R maam, who was living in the
same colony in Vizag.
2. My dad too had a 'family council' consisting of a few elders in our family, to discuss main issues! :grouphug:
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