Tamil Brahmins marriage

[kunjuppu]

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Our marriages have lost their significance and marriages are places where people show their strengths - jewellery wise.

One more opportunity for people to just waste food and wash off their hands.

Also these have become big places for gossip. A and b are married for 4 years and still they have no children. I am sure he or she has a problem.

kamesh,

in the newspeak, folks get to meet each other only during weddings and funerals. funerals happens sudden, but weddings are planned. so it is an occassion to meet, to enjoy company. why not look at it from that viewpoint? and not gripe or envy the amount spent. nowadays, i think folks spent the money, because they have it.

the girls have the upper hand, and no girls' parent need to spend if he does not want to. unless he is tied to the self defeating tradition of compulsive paupering himself.

re not having kids after 4 years of marriage,and further 'sure he or she has a problem' is uncalled for. it is no business of anyone else whether the couple have, have not, postpone children.

further to cast aspersions on health, i think should be avoided, if you dont mind.

thank you.

 

[Raghy]

Our marriages have lost their significance and marriages are places where people show their strengths - jewellery wise.

One more opportunity for people to just waste food and wash off their hands.

Also these have become big places for gossip. A and b are married for 4 years and still they have no children. I am sure he or she has a problem.

Dear Sri.Kameshratnam, Greetings.

Some of the Tamil Brahmin marriages are now only gaining their significance. Presently, I am negotiating our son's wedding. So far, he has proceeded like a perfect gentleman. Initially I negotiated to conduct the whole wedding; they flatly refused, almost got offended. Then I negotiated to share the expenses, which is turned down. After much negotiating, the girl has half agreed to accept some money when she comes to Australia; but in India, even her answer is 'no'! I asked the girl why they are so bent upon spending so much money....... You are right, they want to show their strength. But one should understand the motive behind such actions though.. This particular girl lost her father when she was very young; her mother, with great difficulty, raised her and her brother, got two professionals out of her children. Now this girl really like to stand tall and show off her achievements. We didn't know of these dynamics in the beginning... We saved some money for our son's wedding too.... We like to spend too!....

I was also negoting about the rituals... I wanted to reduce all the rituals that don't make sense.. We like to make the wedding as a big socialising event... Now, the vathyar has accepted to such suggestions.. for example, if our son likes to pursue higher studies, he is likely to go to an university in Australia, not in Kasi! So, Kasi yathra is cancelled; our son is not likely to start a farm (Kritchi), so Paaligai is not required....

In the yester years, we just did what we were told; seldom we asked questions. The present generation asks questions. Whatever is done, they like to do it meaningfully. Further more, I am planning to print a small booklet which would explain the significances of the chosen rituals. The youngsters are really looking forward for this wedding! I think, only now our marriages are gaining significance.

By the way, A and B not having any child even after 4 years is not a gossip at all. My own wife showed up as the eldest child after....... 13 years of marriage. Gossip? There was none; I know, we are from the same village, same street.

Cheers!

 

[happyhindu]

Dear Raghy Sir,

Please do not mind my saying this. In many families, including my own, i have seen parents of the groom saying they will spend for so and so event. After the event is over, they go on and on and on, about "we did this", "we did that".

In a patrilineal society where all the wedding expenses are expected to be borne by the bride, this gives rise to too much gossip among relatives. Many a time the bride suffers snide remarks from relatives of the groom also.

I have heard brides being asked questions (from groom's relatives) like
(a) "why you people could not spend for this", or
(b) "even if your FIL said he wants to spend why did you allow shamelessly", or
(c) "even if your MIL said no need for diamond necklace, why you people could not put it", or
(d) "why so stingy in making just 4 sweet varieties for the muhurta bhojanam"...

I beleive your future DIL is being a wise girl in handling all the expenses herself. My mother did exactly the same too. It was not to show off achievements or strength. It was just to avoid comments and future complaints. I feel its best to leave the bride and the groom to decide how they want the event to be held. If they listen to suggestions from parents, well and good. If not, hope there are no regrets.

Best wishes and regards.

 

[subbudu1]

I am reminded of the story of periyappa's son's marriage. Athai wanted to get her daughter married at any cost to periyappa's son. But he did not agree. Family gossip says he was keen on an alliance with greater dowry. Athai was so outraged that she cutoff ties with her siblings and their families for atleast two decades afterwards. Athai was related to the famous Anantharama Iyer of Simpsons and kept her links with that family strong. Not sure of now.

In all this what happened to the boy and the girl? Did their desires ever get noticed or was it all , like horse trading and exchange of gifts between the families which was so much more important than compatibility?

 

[happyhindu]

In all this what happened to the boy and the girl? Did their desires ever get noticed or was it all , like horse trading and exchange of gifts between the families which was so much more important than compatibility?

This is what happens in arranged marriages. They are infact business transactions -- how much gold the bride is going to bring, how much property is in her name, for how many people can she cook, how educated is the groom, what is his salary, etc, etc.

There is no place for what the bride and the groom themselves wish. The biggest joke in this horse trading game is that horoscopes are supposed to decide compatibility.

 

[subbudu1]

It is my understanding that Tambram marriage has only some elements from the vedic customs and mostly laukik and puranic. If this is correct, I wonder that in the days of vedic compositions, the marriage might have been simpler.
Given the fact that these folks may have been rural dwellers on the edge of the forest, I would assume that a marriage ritual was perhaps never more complex than a daily fire ritual?

We can all perhaps think in that direction and examine based on Arya samaj rituals, what we need to keep and what is to be left out.
There is no point in extracting promises which the couple do not understand, neither in taking promises which the bride and groom will not follow.
What is the point of Kashi Yatrai, when no-one goes to Kashi anymore, as someone said.

We can also simplify the marriage expenses by inviting the most important guests and webcasting the marriage for other well wishers. Instead of having the reception ceremony , a critical piece eating into the pockets of the concerned party, we could perhaps invite the important well-wishers for a snack at home.

 

[biswa]

Valli dear, imagine the inconvenience those days when there was no car and the poor groom had to break his back on a horse or even an elephant...i heard rumors of men being too sore to perform the first night...also heard that long term horse riding makes a man go kaput down there (damages testicles i hear, which was the top reason for impotence those days)...i suppose women have had it easy in this matter, they just need to sit pretty and wait for the groom to arrive.

Wonder why this did not affect Genghis Khan? I have heard that he has the maximum number of progeny in the world today.

 

[Raghy]

Dear Sowbagyavathy Happy Hindu, Greeings.

.....I beleive your future DIL is being a wise girl in handling all the expenses herself. My mother did exactly the same too. It was not to show off achievements or strength. It was just to avoid comments and future complaints. I feel its best to leave the bride and the groom to decide how they want the event to be held. If they listen to suggestions from parents, well and good. If not, hope there are no regrets.

I and my wife have decided to sit back and let the wedding function flow as the bride and groom desire. I have spoken to the elders like my mother, brides grand mother.. they all are quite amused by the whole concept. I was told, even the vadhyar was quite amused. Interestingly, our son was quite annoyed with the whole thing in the beginning... I said to him ' mate, we neither know the girl nor her family; it is the girl chosen by you! So, you have to abide by their rules!' But after explaining and negotiating, the bride family has agreed to accept many changes. I am still working on the details though. Well, we will be sharing the expenses while avoiding any undue comments. It's still early days though.

Cheers!

 

[subbudu1]

I have seen that this dowry concept has changed in our society( India ) as a whole. But things have become different and in a sense bad, and is true of most arranged marriages. Love marriages , lot of things depend on the children themselves but even here children in tight situations with their parents oblige their parents to make them happy.

The first thing which I have seen is that in most marriages, either groom or girl side or both, expect certain expenditure and show from the other party . The relative circles is a concern. In a marriage, I heard that the girls side were from a more urban side than the boys side. Some relations passed remark to the girl's parents that they had made a mess in choosing the groom right at the time of marriage eve. The complaint was that the boys side were dressed like country bumpkins and did not dress elegantly and had rather cheap tastes. The boys side quite frequently complain about the accommodation provided to them, even when they declare no expectations. Then there is this frequent complaint on we did this and we did that, as Happy Hindu mentions somewhere. In Bengal in atleast the marriages conducted of late, the boys side pay up for the reception. They let the girls handle the marriage expense, but set the limit of guests in the wedding, so that the girl side is not burdened. But even here there are quite a few political issues that creap in.

Why should there be any kind of monetary influence in a marriage. All this leads to unnecessary discussions on he is stingy , she is stingy. They are cunning and so on. I have attended two tamil brahmin marriages recently, and both marriages were filled with this tinge of the other party is a cunning person syndrome. In other marriages the girls side spent exorbitantly and inviting nothing less than professional musicians to perform at the marriage. Is this all necessary and do we call our marriages as holy, inspite of all this? Will our Gods and Rishis be blessing such petty events?

It is time we think about it and go for a low expense marriage which calls for no discussion on the spending mindset of the bride and grooms family.Drop the barath on the horse please may be use your own personal car to pick the groom from the temple if you have one. Else let the groom be welcomed from the temple and taken to the house for wedding, may be even by public bus or auto, if that is one's affordability. Let there be no discussion on the mindset and the fame of the grooms and brides side families. I am sure your gods will be come if they have to come when marriage is conducted in a sane and humble atmosphere.

 

[happyhindu]

Wonder why this did not affect Genghis Khan? I have heard that he has the maximum number of progeny in the world today.

lol, so true, heard he sired entire clans....maybe the man kept ice on his jewels to prevent testicle damage and practiced a lot of sexercise to reverse the effects of horse riding...:decision:

 

[B.Krishnamurthy]

Shri.Raghy has mentioned about'Paligai thelippu' function. I think this function is performed mostly by ladies as the concluding event in a marriage.
All along I was under the impression that this function represents that the newly married couple get their children soon
.In most of the south Indian houses,it is customary to prepare curd on a daily basis identifying curd as 'Goddess of wealth' and no one will offer to give curd to others(other houses after sunset).
I request knowledgeable people to clarify on both the points and to explain their significance.
As father of 4 daughters who are all married as per south Indian Iyer customs,I welcome changes in our marriage functions and curtail unnecessary and lavish expenditure.

 

[nannilam_balasubramanian]

How far I am correct I do not know. But in our house, the following things
are followed strictly. Shaving or Stitching Cloth after sun set is not done and
it is treated as bad. It is a common belief in our house that one should not
comb hair after sunset. As milk and curd are treated as Lakshmi i.e. wealth
it is not parted with others after sun set. Similarly, in some of our relatives
house, they do not give salt after sunset. As regards eating curd at night,
my grandpa used to tell that eating heavy and taking heavy foods during night
may affect digestion. So he used to tell that we should take only curd milk
bath. This is still in vogue in our family.

Balasubramanian
Ambattur

 

[sarang]

Cricketeer R Aswin marries his childhood friend Preeti, a traditional wedding. There was even a video in the net on the malai mathum sadangu perched on relatives shoulders. The couple and the people surrounding the event are happy and participating.

1. If marriage is seen as a union of two families, or as a business relationship, the two families them selves can discuss and decide on the terms, expenses and allocation. In many brahmin middle class families, with the parents and the marrying couple gainfully employed, common expenses are shared between the families. Whether the marrying couple contribute is not clear, as this is not generally disclosed. Boy's and girl's friends form a significant guest list and includes a few foreign colleagues.

2. Todays newly weds are also clever and retain all the dowry and gift articles storing expensive ones - gold, silver, diamonds - in the bank locker, the parents acting as caretakers.

3. Essential to flamboyant wedding spans a wide spectrum; is it not better to leave it to the couple, their parents who know what they can afford, what is necessary for their personal happiness and pleasure. Lakshmi mittal spent a vast sum on his children's weddings; as long as one can spend without depleting his resources or getting into debt, what is the need to comment or criticize.

4. Ostentation, dowry, elaborate reception lunch and dinner have nothing to do with brahmins, willingly executed by all castes, communities, jains, christians and muslims.

 

[sangom]

Shri.Raghy has mentioned about'Paligai thelippu' function. I think this function is performed mostly by ladies as the concluding event in a marriage.
All along I was under the impression that this function represents that the newly married couple get their children soon
.In most of the south Indian houses,it is customary to prepare curd on a daily basis identifying curd as 'Goddess of wealth' and no one will offer to give curd to others(other houses after sunset).
I request knowledgeable people to clarify on both the points and to explain their significance.
As father of 4 daughters who are all married as per south Indian Iyer customs,I welcome changes in our marriage functions and curtail unnecessary and lavish expenditure.

Dear Shri Krishnamurthy,

Paalikai

After 'vratam mooykkal', paalikai theLitthal is done by both sides, separately. But it is customary to invite the close relatives of the other party (groom/bride) also to sprinkle 'paalikai' of either side.

Five claypots are arranged and nine types of grains, pre-soaked in water are ceremonially sown in these pots by Sumangalis. After the marriage, the sprouted seedlings are released in a river or pond. This ritual is believed to invoke the blessings of the guardian angels of the eight quarters (aṣṭadikpālakas), for a healthy life and progeny to the couple. Another belief is that the fish eating the sprouts will bless the couple with fertility.

This is not a vedic rite and has, obviously, been adapted later on. I am not sure whether this paalikai is observed by other communities in TN or the other southern states. Those who know may post.

Being a non-vedic rite, there are no mantras chanted for this. Because of the attending circumstances and social compulsions, this has, of late, turned into a good aspect of marriage for the videographer. The sequence of doing this after vratham, is no longer strictly adhered to and this ceremony goes on as an important sideshow managed mostly by the ladies on both sides. Almost all 'sumangalis' are nowadays invited for this 'paalikai theLitthal' and all of them, dressed in their best, invariably feel happy to be videographed. Soon, this may overshadow the other non-vedic rite of 'thaalikettu', imo!

 

[valli]

Shri Balasubramanian

Shaving or Stitching Cloth after sun set is not done and
it is treated as bad. It is a common belief in our house that one should not
comb hair after sunset.

Just curious to know why shaving or stitching cloth after sunset is treated as bad! Is there any special reason why one should not comb hair after sunset?

Thanks

 

[sangom]

Shri Balasubramanian



Just curious to know why shaving or stitching cloth after sunset is treated as bad! Is there any special reason why one should not comb hair after sunset?

Thanks

Even in my childhood, sewing (by hand with thread and needle) was not advised. This was a job exclusively of women and usually of the grown-up girls awaiting marriage those days. There was no electricity and people depended on kerosene or oil lamps. My mother used to admonish always in the following words "இருட்டினபின் தைக்காதே, கண் கெட்டுப்போகும்". So I think it explains the rationale. Shaving might not have harmed the eyes but sure it could have caused inconvenient bruises.

As for combing (that too women) it is the belief that when a woman unties her hair the deity representing all inauspiciousnesses viz., moodhevi will be lingering around that person. That was why our women never used to comb their hair except in privacy. One lady who used to publicly untie her hair, apply fragrant hair oil, comb etc., (total one hour she used to spend on this daily) sitting in the open verandah (thiNNai) of the agrahaaram house, was branded as a prostitute by others and young men used to linger around her cracking lewd jokes with her.

 

[kunjuppu]

...As father of 4 daughters who are all married as per south Indian Iyer customs,I welcome changes in our marriage functions and curtail unnecessary and lavish expenditure.

BK,

congrats first in your remarkable achievement of marrying off 4 daughters. you are increasingly a rare breed. not many have 4 daughters these days.

I think from my early days, I have heard folks saying that we need to simplify, the rituals, the functions, the money spent and what not, on weddings. Nothing has come of it. Only empty words.

If at all anything, both in Chennai and in Toronto, tambram weddings include MORE functions. Mehndi, which was the old marudhani idal, a quiet activity prior to wedding, is now a big group tamasha, along with music, dancing and (drinks). Atleast the ones that I went.

Another function, is the discourse of a ganapaadigal, during the lazy sleepy wedding afternoon. The last one I attended, this function, attendance was made mandatory, by the organizers, and the ganapadigal, not only did he have a loud voice even more magnified by the mike, but ensured that everyone was awake by quizzing us about what he had just discoursed.

Then in the evening reception, there are the numerous stalls – chaat, icecream and what now, along with the kutcheri which no one listens.

I guess I was way ahead of my time, when I offered to marry my spouse in a temple. Followed by a reception. The wife to be and her family rejected it, though my parents were willing to go along.

To my children, we have given them a good life, free education and board. Have told them, not to expect too much for their weddings. They are expected to contribute, with us in a ‘help mode’. Only future will tell how this pans out.

 

[padmanabhan_2654]

இன்னும் இந்த வழக்கம் தேவையா?
சமீபத்தில், ஒரு திருமணத்திற்காக கோவை சென்றிருந்தேன். அவர்கள், பிராமண வகுப்பை சேர்ந்தவர்கள் என்பதால், அவர்களின் சம்பிரதாயப்படி, தாலி கட்டும் நேரத்தில், மணமகள், தன் தந்தையின் மடியில் அமர்ந்து கொள்ள வேண்டும். அந்த மணமகளுக்கோ லேட் மேரேஜ்; 30 வயதிருக்கும். இரட்டை நாடி உடம்பு; எடை, 90 கிலோ இருக் கும். மணமகளின் தந்தையோ, மிக வும் ஒல்லி; அவருக்கு, 70 வயது இருக்கும். முகூர்த்த நேரத்தில், மணமகளை அவர் தன் மடியில் அமர்த்தி, தாலி கட்டும் தருணத்தில், மணமகளின் உடல் எடை யால், காலில் ரத்த ஓட்ட மின்றி, மூச்சுத் திணறி, அரை மயக்கத்தில் விழுந்து விட்டார். மணமேடையே சிறிது நேரம் அமர்க்களப்பட்டு விட்டது.
முன்பு, பால்ய வயதில் திருமணம் நடத்திய போது, மிரட்சி விலக, தந்தை மடியில் உட்கார வைத்து திருமணம் நடத்தினர். இதை, இன்றும் சம்பிரதாயம் என்ற பெயரில் கடைபிடித்து, அவஸ்தைக்கு உள்ளாவதில் என்ன பயன்?
காலத்துக்கு ஏற்ப உணவு, உடைகளில் ஏற்பட்ட மாற்றங் கள், பழைய சம்பிரதாயங்களிலும் ஏற்பட வேண்டும் என்பது தான், அன்றைக்கு விழாவுக்கு வந் திருந்த பலரின் குரலாகவும் இருந்தது. புது வாழ்க்கை, சந் தோஷத்துடன் அல்லவா துவங்க வேண்டும்!
— சசி பிரபு, சென்னை.


Dear Members

Just came across the above piece!

Maybe, some members would like to comment on this!?

Kind regards

Marriage customs exist with some specific rules. There are also exceptions to the rules which come into play depending on extraordinary circumstances.

[There are exceptions to every rule abiding by a custom]

In the above case, the purohit (Vadiyar) who conducted the marriage could have made the custom flexible.

The purohit (Vadiyar) could have asked the father to sit on a chair and the bride on a small stool below the chair with the father keeping both his hands on the bride's shoulder during the kanyadanam and the tying of "Thali".

After all, the purohit (Vadiyar) who performs the marriage has the full authority to determine what should be done depending on the circumstances of the case and make it flexible. Nobody is going to question the purohit's (Vadiyar's) action.

 

[kunjuppu]

Marriage customs exist with some specific rules. There are also exceptions to the rules which come into play depending on extraordinary circumstances.

[There are exceptions to every rule abiding by a custom]

In the above case, the purohit (Vadiyar) who conducted the marriage could have made the custom flexible.

The purohit (Vadiyar) could have asked the father to sit on a chair and the bride on a small stool below the chair with the father keeping both his hands on the bride's shoulder during the kanyadanam and the tying of "Thali".

After all, the purohit (Vadiyar) who performs the marriage has the full authority to determine what should be done depending on the circumstances of the case and make it flexible. Nobody is going to question the purohit's (Vadiyar's) action.

hilarious!!

 

[Raji Ram]

அறுபதுகளில், தந்தைகள் மனைப் பலகையில் அமர முடியும்! மூட்டு வலிக் கேஸ்கள் குறைவு. அப்போது, தந்தை

மனைப் பலகையில் அமர, அவரின் முன் அதே திசையை நோக்கி மணமகளை ஒரு வைக்கோலால் அமைத்த ஆசனத்தில்

அமர்த்துவார்கள். இப்படித்தான் என் இரு தமைக்கயரின் திருமணங்களில் நடந்தது. எழுபதுகளில் தந்தை மடியில் அமர்வது

மீண்டும் வழக்கமாகிவிட்டது. தந்தை ஒரு சேரில் அமர, மணப்பெண் பாவனையாக அவர் மடியில் அமர, சம்பிரதாயச்

சடங்குகள் செய்யப்படும்! என் திருமணம் 1976 இல் நடந்தபோது, நான் அன்புத் தந்தையின் மடியில்தான், பாவனையாக

அமர்ந்தேன். அப்போது எடையும், 'ஜீன்ஸ்' படப் பாடலில் வரும் அதே ஐம்பது கிலோ தானே! அமலா குறிப்பிட்டதுபோல்,

பெருமையாகவே இருந்தது! எங்கள் புரோகிதர் - அவர் ஜோக் சொல்லிக்கொண்டே மந்திரங்கள் சொல்லுவார் - ராகு காலம்

ஏழரை மணிக்கு வரும் என்பதால், அவசரத்தில், என் கையை வைக்காமலேயே, தரை வார்க்கச் சொல்லிவிட்டார்! நான்

அமைதியாக அமர்ந்திருக்க, ராமின் கையில் தேங்காய் மட்டும்! நான் அப்பாவிடம், 'அப்பா! என் கையை நீங்கள் வைக்கவே

இல்லையே!' என்று கூற, அருகில் இருந்த அனைவரும் சிரித்துவிட்டனர்! பின் முறைப்படி 'தாரை வார்த்தல்' நடந்தது!


'சீஸ்' தின்பதால் பல பெண்கள் இன்று மிகவும் எடை கூடியுள்ளனர். அவர்களால் பாவனையாக அமரவே முடியாது; எடை

படுத்துமே! எனவே 'சபுக்கடீ' என்று அப்பா மடியில் அமர்ந்துவிடுவார்கள்! பாவம் அப்பா எப்படி சமாளிப்பார்? எனவே ஒரு

சட்டமே கொண்டுவரலாம். அதாவது, அப்பா ஒல்லியாக இருந்தாலோ, அல்லது பெண் 55 கிலோவுக்கு மேல் எடை

இருந்தாலோ, மடியில் அமர அனுமதி மறுக்கப்படும்! அவளைச் சேரில் அமர்த்தி, தந்தை அவள் அருகில் நின்றுகொள்ள

வேண்டும்! இப்படிச் செய்தால் மட்டுமே அப்பாக்கள் பிழைப்பார்கள்!

:ballchain: . . . eace:

 

[kunjuppu]

raji,

in india, i do not know if cheese consumption is that popular like in the usa.

but, one look at the ssmatri.net site and i figure atleast 50% of the girls look like மத்த பரணிஸ் which is a shame.

because mid twenties, prior to marriage is meant to be the time, when the girls are supposed to be at the best - figure, manners, temperment, behaviour and above all attractiveness. i guess these days with lopsided female male ratio, in favour of the females, any fat female will have no problem finding a mate. but woe to a fat guy. condemned forever to bachelorhood and mommy's cooking, which probably was the reason for his obesity in the first place.

 

[Raji Ram]

....in india, i do not know if cheese consumption is that popular like in the usa.

but, one look at the ssmatri.net site and i figure atleast 50% of the girls look like மத்த பரணிஸ் which is a shame..

Please visit any kind of Pizza centers in SingArach Chennai, Sir! You will know how much of cheese is consumed here.

Pizzas and other junk food make the girls like 'baraNi's and they do not seem to worry about it either. Their salary is FAT too

and hence their obesity may not be a problem in the marriage market.

 

[Raghy]

Dear Shri Krishnamurthy,

Paalikai

After 'vratam mooykkal', paalikai theLitthal is done by both sides, separately. But it is customary to invite the close relatives of the other party (groom/bride) also to sprinkle 'paalikai' of either side.

Five claypots are arranged and nine types of grains, pre-soaked in water are ceremonially sown in these pots by Sumangalis. After the marriage, the sprouted seedlings are released in a river or pond. This ritual is believed to invoke the blessings of the guardian angels of the eight quarters (aṣṭadikpālakas), for a healthy life and progeny to the couple. Another belief is that the fish eating the sprouts will bless the couple with fertility.

This is not a vedic rite and has, obviously, been adapted later on. I am not sure whether this paalikai is observed by other communities in TN or the other southern states. Those who know may post.

Being a non-vedic rite, there are no mantras chanted for this. Because of the attending circumstances and social compulsions, this has, of late, turned into a good aspect of marriage for the videographer. The sequence of doing this after vratham, is no longer strictly adhered to and this ceremony goes on as an important sideshow managed mostly by the ladies on both sides. Almost all 'sumangalis' are nowadays invited for this 'paalikai theLitthal' and all of them, dressed in their best, invariably feel happy to be videographed. Soon, this may overshadow the other non-vedic rite of 'thaalikettu', imo!

Dear Sri.Sangom Sir, Greetings.

When I got married, I ws told, Paaligai sprouts are the first seedlings for the groom to start farming/cultivation on his own. I argued, what if the groom was already farming? I was told, groom was not expected to have anything since he was just out of education at gurukulam; so, he would need the start up seedlings and seeds. In the 5 days wedding situations, paaligai would have grown to seedling conditions; it can be transferred. Basically the groom seeds the bride on the 4th night and plants paaligai on the 5th day. My grandmother actually kept the paaligai for 5 days. they were disposed on the 5 th day only.

Cheers!

 

[sangom]

raji,

in india, i do not know if cheese consumption is that popular like in the usa.

but, one look at the ssmatri.net site and i figure atleast 50% of the girls look like மத்த பரணிஸ் which is a shame.

because mid twenties, prior to marriage is meant to be the time, when the girls are supposed to be at the best - figure, manners, temperment, behaviour and above all attractiveness. i guess these days with lopsided female male ratio, in favour of the females, any fat female will have no problem finding a mate. but woe to a fat guy. condemned forever to bachelorhood and mommy's cooking, which probably was the reason for his obesity in the first place.

kunjuppu,

my neighbour -woman -has got a sole distributorship licence for the milky mist brand of 'cheese', mfd. somewhere near salem or erode or pollachi, i think. every other day the refrigerated truck supplies huge quantities! and for the nb keralite, cheese and chciken have become as indispensable as idli and curd for us, the older tabras!

I do not know about TN brahmin households but hotels in TN serve a number of dishes with cheese. And I am told by my relatives living in Nagercoil, TNLY, etc., that our girls do relish nv food along with their peers when they go to hotels. Hence, one cannot be too sure about the food habits of our children even, today, and parents will be the last persons to come to know because the parent-child relationship has not yet become completely like friendship and there is still some amount of வெச்சுக்கட்டு or reservation on both sides, imho.

Girls additionally have all comforts and no exercise, plus, when they get a good enough job, they start 'expanding'; one hilarious phrase given to such cylindrical girls by a very old woman who sells vegetables is "ammankovil" - the round type small temples which dotted the Tamil country side adjacent to the kerala border once upon a time! she will say அம்மன்கோவில் போலெ வீர்த்து சீர்த்த பெண்ணு.

 

[N.S.Venkateshwaran]

The girl could have done it better. She should not have sat on her father's lap putting her full weight knowing his condition. She could have sat very lightly putting a little strain on her legs. After all the whole exercise is over in a few minutes and a little pain on the girl's part could have saved her father the trouble. Need is for common sense.