Those of us who are married males in this forum, I find, do not talk of the ideal love, both as adjective, and noun. we had it comparatively easy finding a spouse, compared to the tambram average youth of today.
I think today has changed from my times of 30+ years ago, when the male still had an advantage ie the sight of seeing girls’ fathers beating into your doorstep. Not any more.
So, I think, today’s youth, particularly post 30+, meander their thoughts on the concept of ideal love, perhaps because, the reality is so depressing ie lack of even meeting one potential mate, let alone marriage. More like a teenager wishing for his first girl friend. Almost wistful and childish, I find some of their concepts of love. And very far removed from reality too.
Instead of eulogizing an ideal love, I would rather see, these folks, come down to reality, and vent their true feelings, on the hare brained tambram female of today, who though accomplished, wishes for a spouse, in unrealistic terms. Failing which, she opts to marry outside the caste.
Why should a girl earning 6 lakhs a year, expect her hubby to earn more? If he earns 4 lakhs only, wont 10 lakhs family income give them a good life style?
Why should the age difference be only +2 years? Why cant she, if she is 29, marry a 26 year old boy? Or a 34 year old boy? Would these make bad husbands?
I have found that the process oftoday’s tambram marriage process, is among the most, Darwinian playfields ever – ie survival of the fittest, with each lower strata finding his or her own level. Even during the heyday of arranged marriage it has always been thus.
For example, if the girl is fair and pretty, and the arranged boy is short and dusky, the balance would probably have been provided by wealth, a great job, or life in the usa or such. You would never find a pretty fair girl marrying a dark boy below her social status in those days.
Today, love marriages, have turned all these time tested practices, topsy turvy, which is why we have here in this forum, and outside, boys in their 30s, well employed, with zero prospect of finding a tambram bride.
Poetic justice it may be, for all the wrongs of the ages, done to the girls and their fathers, by the boys’ side. But to me, the girls’ behaviour, resembles more, the cutting of one’s nose, to spite one’s face.
There should be no stigma I feel, in a girl marrying someone who earns less or who is not so well endowed. There is no formula for good marriges. It is hard work, understanding, accommodation and these a girl would find, can be done with any willing young man.
Otherwise, they might be better off marrying lamp posts and go for invitrio fertilization. No need for men, who after donating their sperm, can simply wither away, and disappear from the face of the earth.
