Just to laugh........!!!!!!

[Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan]

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Some funny question answers for you...Superb.. enjoy it...!!!

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? ~ ~ He did.. They just didn't show it in the movies they made of him..

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? ~ ~ The same reason we wring out a wash cloth after we have squeezed it dry..

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough? ~ ~ It is actually a reinstatment fee to keep doing business there..

What is the speed of darkness? ~ ~ Darkness has no speed.. There is only a lack of light..

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours? ~ ~ Maybe they woke up every two hours.. grin..

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? Double zero of course..


How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? WoW ,,, I don't know.. Maybe we didn't need them until then..

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Because down on the ground all one can see is the building across the street..
Did you ever stop and wonder...... About what??

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! They are different breeds of dogs though...

Why do the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? ~ ~ Why Not??
Stop singing and read on......... ~ ~ Awwwwwwww

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? ~ ~ "YES!!!"

 

[Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan]

[h=6]Few Sardar jokes:-
1) Interviewer:- Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar:- A post box sir.
2.)Write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
Sardar:--Gandhi was Father of our Nation, but I don't know who is this Jayanthi.

3) Interviewer:- Just imagine you are in third floor and it suddenly catches fire. How will you escape?
Sardar:-- I will stop imagining.

4.)Teacher:-- Which is the oldest animal on earth?
Sardar:--Zebra, it is only Black and White.

5.)Sardar to Teacher:-- Madam, did you call me yester day after school?
Teacher:-- How do you say it is me?
Sardar:-- I saw a miss call in my phone.

6) Teacher:-- What is common between Jesus,Krishna,Ram,Gandhi and Buddha?
Sardar:-- They were all born on Govt. holidays, madam.
[/h]

 

[renuka]

My mother teaches my son at home and the other day my mum was asking him to concentrate and pay more attention when she is teaching him.
To my suprise my 11 year old son said this to her.(he calls her Mama)

He said :"Mama can you please have some compassion for those younger to you?
I do everything for you.I go to school for you.I study for you.I do all homework for you. And all you do at home is eat,sleep and nag me!"

I couldnt stop laughing when I heard that and I told him.."hey thats your duty as a student"

 

[B Suresh Kumar]

My mother teaches my son at home and the other day my mum was asking him to concentrate and pay more attention when she is teaching him.
To my suprise my 11 year old son said this to her.(he calls her Mama)

He said :"Mama can you please have some compassion for those younger to you?
I do everything for you.I go to school for you.I study for you.I do all homework for you. And all you do at home is eat,sleep and nag me!"

I couldnt stop laughing when I heard that and I told him.."hey thats your duty as a student"

Hi Renu,
After reading what your son has told to your mum I remember my childhood days.
My father used to tell me padi...padi... frequently. I just replied enna padi....padi nu sonna ennukku TC wanagidu.
I spent more time playing than studying

 

[Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan]

Husband: Raja Dashrath Ki 3 biwiyaan thi..........,
wife : Tho?
Husband: Toh mai 2 shadiyan aur kar sakta hun....
Wife: Soch lo............ Drupati ke 5 pati the......
Husband: Yaar tu bhi na Pagli...dil pe le leti hai.......


Wife: (shouting excitedly) Quick, pack your bags; I’ve won pounds 20 million on the National Lottery.
Husband: Where are we going?
Wife: We? Just pack your bags and get out you useless man.

 

[valli]

1. Here is how Harry Potter movies will be named if directed in Tamil -

a. Harry Potter and the bottle of Quarter
b. Harry Potter and சப்ப மேட்டர்

2. Q: Why do 'munivars' have so much resistance to worldly pleasures?
A: Since they constantly keep chanting 'Ohm' (the unit of resistance).

P.S. courtesy of internet

 

[Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan]

[h=6]BomB and Sardar

2 sardaron ko 2 bomb mile,

1st Sardar: chal police ko de k aate hain.

2 sardar: agar koi bomb raaste me phat gaya to?

1st sardar: jhoot bol denge ki 1 hi mila tha

Doctor And Sardar

Sardar 2 doctr: Mujhe 1 problem hai

DR: Kya?

Sardar: Baat karte waqt aadmi dikhai nahi deta

Dr: aisa kab hota hai?

Sardar: Phone karte waqt

Sardar and Home

Man: Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte ho?

Sardar: AC k paas ja k baith jata hun

Man: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to?

Sardar: To A/C on kar leta hun

Sardar and pray

A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,

"He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade."

After 11 years Vahe Guru angrily appeared & said,"Khoti de puttar 1 vari
ticket to le le"

The real Sardar

Ek sardar ki chatri me hole tha,

kisine pucha, umbrella me hole kyun?

Sardar bola, Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega

Sardar and Hitler

Hitler says,

"There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary"

Sardar says: Ab bolne se kya faayda? "Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha
na"

Sardar and Computer

Sardar: Yar mujhe 1 hathora or keel chahiye computer k lye.

Sales man: Magar computer me inka kya kaam?

Sardar: Oye yaar mujhe computer me windows lagani hai.

Two Sardards

1st sardar: oye agar neend na aaye to kya kia jaaye?

2nd Sardar: Neend ka intizar karne se achha hai ki banda soo hi jaye

1 sardar rail ki patri per so gaya .

1 aadmi ne kaha kya kar rahe ho? Train aayegi to mar jaoge!

Sardar: Mere uper se jahaaz guzar gaya to kuch nahi hua, train kya cheez
hai?



Sardar and Police

Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaasi di jayegi.

Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Police: Kyon hasn rahe ho?

Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hun.

Sardar and Practical

In bio practical:

Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?

Sardar: I don't know.

Examiner: You r failed, what's your name?

Sardar: See my legs & tell my name
[/h]

 

[Brahmanyan]

Here is another one,

After the quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
​

And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

Cheers,
Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.


​

 

[Subhalakshmi]

some fun notices..


Funny Notices in English collected by an English tourist in Gujarat:






In an Ahmedabad Hotel:

Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read this notice.

In a Baroda hotel elevator:

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Surat hotel lobby:

Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Jamnagar:

Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily..

 

[Subhalakshmi]

In a Ahmedabad hotel near Gujarat College:

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

Edwards Laundry on Relief Road, Ahmedabad:

Drop your trousers here for best results.

In a Bhavnagar hotel:

Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is rekvested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In an Anand laundry:

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time..

 

[Subhalakshmi]

In a heritage hotel at Junagadh:

Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides (on the famous white asses) in Rann of Kutch:

Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a 5-Star Hotel cocktail lounge in Ahmedabad:

Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In the office of a Ahmedabad gynecologist:

Specialist in women and other diseases.

 

[Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan]

[h=6]A woman sees a lawyer about a divorce.
He asks, Any grounds?
Woman: yeah, about 2 acres.
Lawyer: Do you have a grudge ?
Woman: No, we have a carport.
Lawyer: Does your husband beat you up in the morning ?
Woman: No, I get up before him.
Agitated lawyer: Well, do you or don't you want a divorce ?
Woman: No, my husband wants it... he claims he can't communicate with me!
[/h]

 

[Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan]

Two Ladies Talking in Heaven
http://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/enjoythemasti

http://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/enjoythemasti1st woman: Hi! Barbara.

http://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/enjoythemasti
2nd woman: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?

http://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/enjoythemasti
1st woman: I froze to death.

http://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/enjoythemasti
2nd woman: How horrible!

http://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/enjoythemasti
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death.. What about you?

http://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/enjoythemasti
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But

http://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/enjoythemasti instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.
​

 

[B Suresh Kumar]

Hi
Read this joke earlier but still enjoyed it again

 

[Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan]

Hi
Read this joke earlier but still enjoyed it again

you are right, Suresh ji.. some of the good jokes are repeating again and again but they are worth reading one more time.. really funny.... Thank u for your comments.. keep posting.. with regards.. Anandi

 

[Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan]

[h=6]Three men were drunk and they stopped a taxi.....the taxi driver figured that they were not in their right minds......so, he just switched on the engine and switched it off after a while and told them : "we have arrived"......

The first man gave him money..... the second one thanked him.....but the third one....he slapped the taxi driver.....

The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them must have realized that the car didn’t move an inch..

so, he asked the third man: "what was that for?" The third man replied: "control your speed next time you got here so quick you almost killed us.....
[/h][/QUOTE]

 

[Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan]

Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

• Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

• I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

• A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

• Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

• Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

• You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

• Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

• Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
  

• Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

• Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
  

• Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something
• They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!

• Man: Is there any way for long life?

Dr: Get married.

Man: Will it help?

Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will

never come.

 

[Subhalakshmi]

Dear Dr. Anandi, I am so glad that you started this thread, I see so many I liked and whenever time permits I go through them quickly.. some are so funny and I am laughing so hard, my husband, one day said to me, you are totally hooked on that Tamil Brahmin site, I said Yes, specially when I read the jokes and truth be told, also some comments made by the members, I sit and laugh.. anyway, just wanted to say that we all need to laugh everyday to keep truly a healthy mind and body.. god bless you..
love
Bushu

 

[Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan]

Thank you so much Bushu ji... I am really happy to read your comments.. I also try to do the same, try to make you all smile, help to to get relaxation and rejuvenation by my articles..I see that when you read my comments, articles, songs or jokes.. it should be simple, sweet and down to earth along with some morals, some lessons for the life.. By this way I learn and improve myself.. it is a self motivation, self learning, I am learning to be more humble, polite, to be a good listener and above all I have understood how to mix with others in a forum, how to be a part of a group.. Thanks to all of you. and special thanks to you for your precious comments. take care.. with warm regards.. Anandi

[h=6]10 men and 1 woman.

Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter.

The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, Because otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.

She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general,
and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.

As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping . .
[/h]

 

[B Suresh Kumar]

10 men and 1 woman.

Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter.

The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, Because otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.

She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general,
and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.

As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping . .

the woman claimed she gives up everything for men in general but it was the ten men who gave up everything
The men lose / loose even when appreciating woman

 

[valli]

10 men and 1 woman.

Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter.

The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, Because otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.

She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general,
and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.

As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping . .

Oh Anandi! I just burst into laughter on reading this that it startled my son! Very nice one!

Kind regards

 

[valli]

One small correction - it has startled my whole family!

My daughter was cross with me and said, "சிரிக்கப் போறதா இருந்தா சொல்லிட்டு சிரி!"

Kind regards

 

[Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan]

the woman claimed she gives up everything for men in general but it was the ten men who gave up everything
The men lose / loose even when appreciating woman

Suresh ji, as per speech she was very true with her words and she was suppose to jump too, but the men got excited and wanted to appreciate her for the touching speech given, but totally forgot where they are and in which condition.. The problem came there.. What to do...Who is clever and who is not, that's not the question here.. let us conclude both were sentimental but the place was wrong to one lost the life.....Sorry for them....

 

[Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan]

[h=6]Dear Bushu ji....As laughing is a good exercise to keep fit and to keep you in good spirits all the time... So, just for laugh.. Here we go again.. A hilarious drama which is totally out of this world....I hope you will enjoy....)



The angel Gabriel came to the Lord and said:
...
'I have to talk to you.

We have some Indians up here in heaven and they are causing problems. They're swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, they are wearing Dolce and Gabana saris instead of their white robes, they are riding Mercedes and BMWs instead of the chariots, and they're selling their halos to people for discounted prices.

They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clear or clean, since they keep crouching down midway eating samosas and drinking chai (tea). Some of them are even walking around with just one wing !

They do not believe in discipline and push their way through the line.'

The Lord said, 'Indians are Indians. Heaven is home to all my children. If you want to know about real problems, give Satan a call.'

Satan answered the phone, 'Hello? Damn, hold on a minute.' Satan returned to the phone, 'OK I'm back. What can I do for you?'

Gabriel replied, 'I just wanted to know what kind of problems you're having down there.'

Satan says, 'Hold on again. I need to check on something.'

After about 5 minutes Satan returns to the phone and said, 'I'm back. Now what was the question?'

Gabriel said, 'What kind of problems are you having down there?'

Satan says, 'Man I don't believe this .. Hold on.'

This time Satan was gone at least 15 minutes. He returned and said,

"I'm sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now. These Indians are trying to install air conditioning and making hell a comfortable place to live in by putting out the fire, which is there to keep them uncomfortably hot!!

Since they are so tech savvy, they were trying to start a telephone and IT connection between heaven and hell between ME and GOD.

They have started a socal network service for the troubled and believe in Karma and are good in convincing others.

Some were trying to start a chai - pakora, Chole batura, channa, Dosa and samosa, barfi, Chakli and Dokla shop, which I had to stop.

Many have no trouble living in dirt as they are so used to it down on earth. We have shortage of toilets to make them uncomfortable as this is Hell, but they have no problems in doing everything outside in open.
They are excellent in corrupting everyone and my staff are being bribed by them and I have difficulty in controlling the graft and corruption in Hell.

They never complain as this place seems to be better from where they came. I am having such a hard time controlling and dealing with them!! I am therefore requesting you

OH LORD, PLEASE send them back to earth as soon as they arrive for re-birth".

"So this is why Indians are the only ones that are re-born!" )
[/h]

 

[Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan]

[h=6]As students they say whatever given is logical, but as a result oriented Principal, how can I accept this..let me be illogical for this..Right????
Just to laugh once again....

WHY A STUDENT FAILS ?

It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year has ONLY 365' days.

Typical academic year for a student.

1. Sundays-52,Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
Days left 263.

3. 8 hours daily sleep-means 130 days.
Days left 141.

4. 1 hour for daily playing-(good for health) means 15 days.

Days left 126.

5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies(chew properly & eat)-means 30days.

Days left 96.

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days !

Days left 81.

7. Exam days per year atleast 35 days.
Days left 46.

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days.

Balance 6 days.

9. For sickness atleast 3 days.

Remaining days 3.

10. Movies and functions atleast 2 days.

1 day left.

11. That 1 day is your birthday. "How can you study at that day?"

Balance days 0

"How can a student PASS???

But it is ok.. in the midst of all these hurdles and marathons, Teachers, Parents and the students too try to run the last lap fast to get out of the danger zone... due to the fear of the elimination round)
[/h]