Just to laugh........!!!!!!

Subhalakshmi · Oct 14, 2011

O We Indians!!! LOL!!!! true so true, I can imagine the scenario!!! we are an unruly bunch alright.. hahahahaha!!! all in good humor...

Thanks Anandi, you made my morning!!

)

Subhalakshmi · Oct 14, 2011

B Suresh Kumar said:
the woman claimed she gives up everything for men in general but it was the ten men who gave up everything
The men lose / loose even when appreciating woman

This is just a joke, not to be taken that seriously...

Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan · Oct 15, 2011

[h=6]Enjoyyyyy these classic applications :

1.Student leave letter:

As I am suffering from my uncle’s marriage I cannot attend the class….”

2. A candidate’s application:

“This has reference to your advertisement for the post of ‘typist And an accountant – Male or Female’…
As I am both for the past several years and I can handle both; I am applying for the post.”

3. I.T.I., Lahore: An employee applied for leave as follows:

The Employee goes along with his wife to sell a land but instead writes leave letter below

Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please sanction me one-week leave.

4. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:

“Since I’ve to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clocks and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave”

5. A leave letter to the headmaster:

“As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today”

6. A leave letter to the headmaster:

“I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday.”

7. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:

As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.

8. Funny Leave Letter received From H.A.L. Administration dept:

As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, Please grant me 10 days leave.

9. Actual letter written for application of leave:

“My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband At home I may be granted leave”.

10. Letter writing:

“I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well.”

11. Another gem from I.T.I. Leave-letter from an employee who was arranging his daughter’s wedding:

“As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week’s leave…”
[/h]

B Suresh Kumar · Oct 15, 2011

Subhalakshmi said:
This is just a joke, not to be taken that seriously...

I too have written it as a joke

Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan · Oct 16, 2011

[h=6]3 ants saw an elephant coming
1st ant:we'll kill him
2nd ant:we'll break his leg.
3rd ant:Leave him dude he is alone n we are 'three'[/h]

Subhalakshmi · Oct 17, 2011

Not sure if this was posted, but this is too funny!!!

This is an actual letter (taken from the Times of India ) in response
> to a `Marriage Proposal' advertisement.
>
>
>
>
>
> Madam, I am one young gentleman living only with myself in Patna . I
> am seeing your advertisement for marriage purpose in the daily
> newspaper. So I decide to press myself on you and I am hopping you
> will make the marriage with me.
>
>
>
> I am the son of my father & mother of agriculture family from inside
> Patna . I having no sister and no brother also. I become big in Patna
> only. I educate myself in the Zuarilal Himmatlal High School , Bezna
> Road . I am nice and big, six foots tall and six inches long. My body
> is filled with hardness why because I am working hardly. I am playing
> also hardly.
>
> Especially I am liking the cricket. I am a good batter also I am fast
> baller. Whenever I am coming running for the balling, all batters are
> running everywhere why because they are afraiding my balls. My balls
> are bouncing too much high. That is very danger for them.
>
>
>
> I am very nice gentleman. I always laughing loudly at everyone. I am
> happy always and gay also. Ladies they are saying I am nice and soft
> because I giving respect to them. I am always liking if ladies are on
> top. That is how nice I am.
>
> I am not having any bad habits. I drink milk only and no other bad
> things. I am not chewing cigarettes or eating gutka paan why because
> it not good for all the peoples. So I am not doing so. I am keep
> fitting everyday. Morning I am going to jim and I am pumping like
> anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can came and
> see how I pumping the dumb bells in the jim. And now good muscles are
> come outing everywhere.
>
>
>
> I am having very much money in my pant everyday and my pant is
> everyday open for you why because I am nice gentleman.
>
> Madam, if you are marrying me, I am telling you, I will be hardly
> loving you everyday. If you are not marrying me then I will press you
> and press you until you come. I am at your feet and slowing looking
> up, with hope. I am waiting very badly for your reply why because I am
> stiff with excitement and anticipation.
>
>
>
> Expecting good answer and replies to me in the future.
>
>

Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan · Oct 17, 2011

Sardar declares:
.... . . I will never marry in my life &.. . .
.. ... . I'll give same advice to my children also. . . .. .

Sardar: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml
now it's 2 ltr..

Santa went to Mysore palace.
Tourist guide - Santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair
Santa - Oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes..!!...

Sardar wanted to make a STD call to punjab,
He wanted to save money so what did he do?
Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call..

One tourist from U.S.A. .asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village?
Sardar: No sir, only small babies!!!

2 sardars were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?
1st Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
1st Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both
copied.

Sardar 1: I'm very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone & saved 1/2 money.
Sardar 2: You R nothing I saved all my money, my friend was going & I sent
my wife with him.

2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!.....

A scene from Kohn Benega Crorepati.....
Amitabh : In which state Cauvery flows?
Sardar : Liquid state.....
Audience clapped... Amitabh stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS.........

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ...
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India ..

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more..

Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken..
Sardar: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself.. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Sardar: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u...
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.

Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan · Oct 18, 2011

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech Support: Are you sure your keyboard is plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech Support: Pick up your keyboard and take ten steps backwards.
Customer: Okay..
Tech Support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Tech Support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Wait a moment please. . .. . . . . Ah, that one does work. Thanks.

Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan · Oct 23, 2011

Have a Good Sleep.... Good night....

Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan · Oct 28, 2011

English - absolutely hilarious/brilliant!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

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Then one may be that, and there would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

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Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.

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We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing,
Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
What do you call it?

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If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English

Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

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We ship by truck but send cargo by ship...
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
In which your house can burn up as it burns down,
In which you fill in a form by filling it out,
And in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And in closing..........

If Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop.???

Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan · Oct 29, 2011

[h=3]A letter to Father From a Daughter
[/h]A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to
see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he
saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the pillow. It
was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the
envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:-

Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm
leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend
Randy because I wanted to avoid a sc ene with Mom and you. I've been
finding real passion with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when
you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing,
tattoos, and motorcycle
clothes.

But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said that he
wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even
though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days
is it?),
and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of
our relationship, don't you agree?

Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the
woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.It's true he
has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in
his own way. He
wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my
dreams too.

Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be
growing it for us and we'll trade it with our
friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime,
we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get
better; he sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of
myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit
so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,
Rosie.

At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO".
Hands still trembling,her father turned the sheet, and read:

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than
my report card that's in my desk centre drawer.

Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home. I love

Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan · Nov 4, 2011

International Economics....

TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS*
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income

*INDIAN ECONOMICS*
You have two cows.
You worship them.

* PAKISTAN ECONOMICS
You don't have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask the US for financial aid,
China for military aid,
Britain for warplanes,
Italy for machines,
Germany for technology,
France for submarines,
Switzerland for loans,
Russia for drugs and
Japan for equipment.
You buy the cows with all this and claim of exploitation by the world

*AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.
You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally

that nation will be a danger to mankind.
You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.

*JAPANESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You re-design them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

*CHINESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and http://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/enjoythemasti

arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.

*RUSSIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
You give up counting and open another bottle of Vodka

* FRENCH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

*GERMAN ECONOMICShttp://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/enjoythemasti

you have two cows.
You re-engineer them so that they live for 100 years,http://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/enjoythemasti

eat once a month and milk themselves.

*BRITISH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
They are both mad.

*ITALIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

*SWISS ECONOMICS
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you
You charge others for storing them.

Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan · Nov 12, 2011

1) Can A Kangaroo Jump Higher Than Eiffel Tower?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Yes
How??

Eiffel Tower Can't Jump

2) Which weapon can u make by combining Potassium,
Nickel and Iron?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ans:
KNiFe.

Got confused?
Ok.
Just see how?

Chemical symbol of Potassium = K,
Nickel = Ni
and
Iron = Fe.
So,their combinatn is
'K Ni Fe'

3) some doubts:
If all nations in the world are in debt so where did the all money go?
When dog food new with improved test ,who test it?
If black box flight recoder never demaged during plane crash , why whole airplane made out of that stuff?
Who is copyrighted the copyright symbol?
4)who is the laziest person in the world?

.

.

.

.

.

.

Who invented the SNOOZE option in alarm.

5) Tell me which ANIMAL can't
Walk

Speak

Listen

Fly

Eat

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

This is the ANIMAL Written on Board .

6.Why we can find sun in the day only not in night ?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Because he is mamma's boy.
His mom says look ,dark outside so just go inside and sleep :

7) Which fish cant swim in water ?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Dead fish

8) How can an elephant enter the small car.?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

What ? friend its highly impossible

9)Which DRIVER has no license to drive but still Working?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

SCREW DRIVER

shriramriyer2985 · Nov 13, 2011

Good ones..!!

God: Bete, mannat maang.
Man : plz mujhe phir se unmarried kar do.
God : beta 'mannat' maangne ko kaha hai, "Jannat" nahi !

A man was granted two wishes by God,
He asked for the best drink & the best woman ever.
Next moment he got mineral water & Mother Teresa.

Wife to Santa : "You don't love me at all"
Santa points towards their five children and says "Do you think I downloaded them from google"

Beta : Papa meri teacher kitni mast hai na!
Father : Beta teacher maa ke baraber hoti hai.
Beta : Aap to hamesha apni hi khushi dekhte ho ...

There are 3 kinds of men in this world.

Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder, what happened!

Wives are magicians…
They can change anything into an argument

Women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful Life, as compared to men. WHY?
A very INTELLIGENT Sardar replied: Women don't have a wife

Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan · Nov 13, 2011

Brick Recruitment!http://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/enjoythemasti

http://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/enjoythemasti http://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/enjoythemasti

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Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan · Nov 14, 2011

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain . God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee..."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"

Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan · Nov 15, 2011

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1 stone is enough to break a glass.
1sentence is enough to break a heart.
1sec is enough to fall in love.

But y d hell 1chapter is not enough to pass in exam...???

A boy's eye is
Faster than Google in searching a
Beautiful girl in crowd...
:
But
...:
A boy's heart is slower than
Governments bus while
Proposing a Girl whom he truly
Loves.

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[FONT=&quot][/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]

"COLLEGE n SCHOOL are d nickname of HEAVEN"

Hmmm.....
Dats y it is said dat
"COUPLES r made in HEAVEN.

My Teacher pointed at me with a Ruler & said:
At the End of this Ruler is an Idiot I still don't get why I got rusticated.
I only asked him, Which End Sir?

Professor: What's attention deficit hyperactive disorder?
Student: jimbalakadi bamba.
Professor: Sorry, I don't undrstnd what u said?
Student: Same here sir!

Father to son: why don't u just go and study?
Son: what for?
Father: U'll get good marks...
Son: then?
Father: U'll get good job.
......Son: then?
Father: U'll have big house, new car.
Son: so what after that?
Father: after that U'll relax.
Son: so what do u think I m doing right now???

Announcement in University:

"The students who have parked their cars on the driveway, please move them"

Another announcement after 20 minutes:

"The 200 students who went to move 9 cars please return to their respective classes"

Ugly Truth:

In Bed,
It's 6AM,
You Close Your Eyes for 5 mins...
...& it's 7:45

But in Office,
It's 9:30am
You Close Your Eyes for 5 mins...
& It's Still 9:31 http://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/enjoythemasti

[FONT=&quot]http://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/enjoythemasti[/FONT]

Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan · Nov 16, 2011

Wonderful Definitions...

School
A place where Parents pay and children play .

Life Insurance
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse:
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills .

Marriage
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters...

Divorce
Future tense of Marriage.

Tears
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water power...

Lecture
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" .

Conference
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary
A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father
A banker provided by nature.

Criminal
A person no different from the rest
....except that he/she got caught.

Boss
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician
One who shakes your hand before elections and
your Confidence after .

DOCTOR
A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic
Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile
A curve that can set a lot of things straight .

Office
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience
The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb
An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher
A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise

Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan · Nov 16, 2011

3 PARROTS
A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw three identical parrots in a cage.
He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?
The owner said it was Rs. 2500.
"Rs. 2500.", the man said. "Well what does he do?
"He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk.
"He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."
The man then asked what the second parrot cost.
The clerk replied, Rs. 5000, but he not only knows Office 2000,
but is an expert computer programmer.
Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot.
The clerk replied, "Rs. 10,000."
Curious as to how a bird can cost Rs. 10,000, the man asked what this bird's specialty was.
The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything.
But the other two call him " BOSS"!!

Dr. Anandi Ramakrishnan · Nov 18, 2011

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A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying,http://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/enjoythemasti

[FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot][/FONT][/FONT]

"This doesn't feel so bad."http://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/enjoythemasti