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Just to laugh........!!!!!!

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[h=6]Brilliant Answers by a student but the teacher gave him '0' marks only

Q- In which battle did Tipu Sultan die?
... A- His last battle !

Q- Where was the declaration of independence signed?
A- At the bottom of the page !

Q- What's the main reason for Divorce?
A- Marriage!

Q- river Ganges flows in which state?
A- Liquid state !

Q- When was Mahatma Gandhi born?
A- On his birthday !

Q- How will u distribute 8 mangoes among 6 people?
A- By preparing mango shake....:))
[/h]
 
My grandpa used to say: He who sleeps on the floor will not fall off the bed and
also his frequent quotation is : "The only difference between me and a mad man
is that I amn't mad."

Balasubramanian
Ambattur
 
Let me share some very old jokes on psychology/psychiatrist:
During the heat of Viet Nam War, Prez. Nixon sitting in his office was snapping his fingers monotonously. A doctor attached to him asked "why you are doing this?" The Prez said "to keep the elephants away". "But there are no elephants around here", said the doctor. "See, I am successful" replied and Nixon stumped the Dr.

A middle aged man sporting a hat, came into a pyschiatrist consulting room. "What is your problem?" asked the Dr. "I always hear music when I put on this hat" complained the patient. "Ok, then give me your hat" asked the Dr and the patient obliged. The doctor went into another room with the hat and came back within a few moments. He asked the patient to now put on the hat and assured him he would not hear music any more. He did and surprisingly said "Yes, I do not hear any music". "What did you do, Dr.?" "I removed the band (of music)". Happy New Year 2012. Win over your mind.
 
You may be knowing Punjabi and Sardar Jokes are very famous. I want to say a couple.

Sardar went to an Automobile Shop. Lady Receptionist : I do not at once remember the name of the Car.
Marketing Agent is away. Please wait Sir.
But I am sure, it starts with T.

Sardar then replied : What is a strange and an amazing Car it is. It starts with Tea. Whereas in our
place that I start with only Petrol.

Sardar went to a Radio Shop and asked for a good piece of Radio. He said that he wants an imported make.

Shopkeeper : Yes Sir. We do have.

Sardar : Show me a Good piece.

Shopkeeper : This is a good piece you can take it.

Sardar : Purchased the Car.

Sardar : Looking at the Shopkeeper, you Cheated me.

Shopkeeper : No, Sir. I sold a good Radio to U

Sardar : Radio Label shows made in Japan but the Radio says .. This is All India Radio.

Balasubramanian
Ambattur
 
One line stroke:
Five out of four people have problem with (maths) fractions!

Born upside down?
If your feet smell and nose is running, you are born upside down!
 
Just to Laugh

Since I retired from Defence, I worked in various places. I had lot
of opportunities to work with Punjabis, Sardars and all Central/North Indian
Colleagues.

Sardar : Returns the Book to the Librarian, bangs it on the table and say, What a shit

Sardar : Further adds, I read the complete book, two many characters, no story at all

Librarian : So, you are the guy who took our Telephone Directory. We were searching.

Sardar : Shouts in a Grocery Shop, where is my free Gift with this Oil

Shopkeeper : Sir, there is nothing free with this

Sardar : Don't you See, it is written clearly Cholesterol Free.

Balasubramanian
Ambattur
 
A Sardar was passing through a crowded market area. Suddenly a fast speeding
vehicle hit a two wheeler and both the rider and the pillion rider met with a major
accident. The driver of the fast moving vehicle left the vehicle and ran away
from the scene.

The rider was crying in a loud voice at the scene of the accident,
O God, I have lost my right hand, I don't know, what to do, O God.

Sardar, who was byepasser said to that Motor Cycle Rider, to console
him, Control yourself. Don't cry. See your pillion rider, he has lost his
head. Does he cry!

Balasubramanian
Ambattur
 
Just to Laugh111

This one is from my 8year old Grand daughter Nandhitha :

Q:What will a Ghost ask another Ghost when they meet?
A: Do you believe in humans?

Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.
 
Last edited:
Brahmanyan said:
This one is from my 8year old Grand daughter Nandhitha :

Q:What will a Ghost ask another Ghost when they meet?
A: Do you believe in humans?

Brahmanyan,
Bangalore.
Click to expand...


If we humans make friends with each other we say "Mujhse Dosti Karoge"
How do ghost make friends with each other?
 
In villages, people used to say, ghosts moves during midnight from the Iyanar Temple, etc.
The used to say that they saw the ghosts, showing gesture, mouth words signals, loud
laughing, ambient sounds, intimidating people, running fast with (foot) anklet chains making sounds, etc
It is really unimaginable to say how our inner senses get awakened out of fear.

Balasubramanian
Ambattur
 
renuka said:
If we humans make friends with each other we say "Mujhse Dosti Karoge"
How do ghost make friends with each other?
Click to expand...

They may say "Have we not met some where in our earlier life?"

Or "Are you the new one who has come to reside in the next tamarind tree?"
 
Last edited:
Not to offend any Sardars, I am posting something my good friend had sent me.. here goes..


Sugar Test Sardar enters kitchen, opens sugar box, looks inside and closes it. This he does again and again. Why? Because the doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.

Apple in a Mango Tree Sardar climbed a tree. Monkey asked: "Too uper kyon aaya?" Sardar: "Apple Khane" Monkey: "Yeh to mango tree"
Sardar: "Idiot, apple saath laaya hoon"

Sardars and scooter
Three Sardars were going on a scooter. Traffic police showed them his hand. One of the Sardars told: We are already three, sorry, there is no space.

Lion and Sardars
Two Sardars were in a forest, when a lion came roaring towards them. One of them throws sand into its eyes, and runs. Second one stays unmoved. When asked why he is not running, another Sardar tells: "Why should I be running? It is you who has thrown the sand "

Cyclone
Bank manager asks Sardar in an intervi ew: "What is cyclone"
Sardar: "It is the loan given to purchase a cycle"

Side Effects
Once Sardar brought some tablets and started cutting the edges. Do you know why? He wanted to avoid side effects!

Same person
Sardar looked himself in a mirror and said: "Isko kahin dekha hai... Haan! Yaad aaya, yeh to wahi kameena hai jo mere shaadi ke album mein mere biwi ke saath hai"

Bus tickets
Bus conductor: Ticket, ticket
Sardar: Give two tickets
Conductor: Why two?
Sardar: If I lose one, another will be there
Conductor: What if you lose both?
Sardar: No problem, I have pass...

Advice
A famous Sardar's declaration to the media: "I will never marry in my life. And I will advise the same to my children too"

Oxygen
Teacher: Oxygen is very essential to life. It was discovered in 1773
Sardar: Thank God!! I was born after 1773. Had I born earlier, I would have died...

Skeleton
Interviewer: What is a skeleton?
Sardar: Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting, but forgot to stop it!!

Starting Salary
MD: I give you driver job. Starting salary is 2000 Rs.
Sardar: Oh, thank you. What is the driving salary and stopping salary?

New moon day
ISRO sent a Sardar to Moon. Sardar got into rocket, but jumped halfway, shouting "How dare you cheat me. Today is new moon day. There will be no moon"

Mirror
Boss: Ek achcha mirror leke ao, jisme m ujhe mera chehra dikhayi de.
Sardar: Boss, mein sab dukaan gaya , par sab mein mere hi chehra dikha... Apka chehra dikhanewala kahin nahi mila.

Hindi and English
Sardarni to a doctor: Mera beta motorcycle se gir gaya
Doctor: I can't understand Hindi. Can you tell in English
Sardarni: My londa gironda from Hero Honda

Yes/No
Sardar reported for his university final examination, which consists of Yes/No type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing it, marking the answer sheet Yes for Heads and No for Tails.
Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately flipping the coin, muttering and sweating.
The moderator, alarmed, approaches his and asks what is going on.
Sardar replies, "I'm rechecking my answers and I don't think I did very good."

Microsoft Office
Interviewer: Do you know Microsoft Office?
Sardar: No, but I can find it if you give address...

Compound Sentence
Teacher: Tell a compound sentence.
Sardar: Stick No Bills!

Colour TV
Sardar bought a new colour TV and put it in water. Why?
He wanted to check whether colour goes or not!!

Calender
A person went to a Sardar's shop.
Person: I want 2007 calender
Sardar: Sorry sir, you are too late. We have only 1000 calenders left

Lottery
Sardar bought a lottery ticket for 10 Rs. Luckily Sardar won 10 crores for that. He went to the shop to collect the prize money. The owner cut the tax and gave him 7 crores.
Sardar: Give me full 10 crores or give my 10 Rs. back

Imagination
Sardar went to an interview.
Interviewer: Imagine that you are in the fifteenth floor. Suddenly fire bursts out, and there are many people who are struggling to survive. In that situation, what do you do ?
Sardar: Oye! I will stop imagining


ATM PIN
Sardar was drawing money from ATM.
A person, who was just behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****).
Sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Ha! You are wrong. Its 1258."

Sun v/s Moon
Sardar's theory: The moon is more important than the sun, because the moon gives light at night when it is needed, but the sun gives light during day when it is available abundantly...

Delivered
Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. Why?
The report said, "DELIVERED".





​
 
Brahmanyan said:
They may say "Have we not met some where in our earlier life?"

Or "Are you the new one who has come to reside in the next tamarind tree?"
Click to expand...

The answer is Mujhse Ghosti Karoge!!!

BTW since you brought up about ghost and trees i remembered this song where Kamal as a ghost is searching for a Murungai Tree in Japan..so this song is for you.

[video=youtube_share;tQ3x6clvrEE]http://youtu.be/tQ3x6clvrEE[/video]
 
Sardarni went to a Temple and saw a person putting coin in a box and praying

Sardarni told immediately looking at the Sardar. Jara Dekhiye. Wow. How amazing.
People here are talking to God through coin phone without a receiver.

Sardar said Bahuth Badiya hai.

Balasubramanian
Ambattur
 
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