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Intercaste marriage is it possible?

I am iyengar girl (22) . I am in love with backward caste boy (24)for a year we know each other very well . He said if my parents agree he will marry me definitely. Can you people guide whether he is good for me?

whether he is good for me?......you decide ur life.....ur age is enough to understand about him....otherwise

ask ur parents.....better option.....LIFE IS CHALLENGE...BETTER TO FACE IT...IF U WANT TO ACHIEVE...

U HAVE TO LOOSE SOMETHING...there is in hindi....KUCH PAANE KE LIYE KUCH KHONA PADTA HAI...

KUCH KHOKAR HI KUCH PAATE HAI...even this is the answer for my own daughter too....no difference..
 
If you doubt yourself Do not do it without the parent's approval.
If you are sure and ready to accept the consequences do it.
I wish you well.
Pyar kiya to Darna Kya?
 
legally you can marry anyone you like.
If you actually asking whether he is good for you..you should also ask yourself if you are good for him?

Cos from your question itself it shows that you do feel he might not be good enough for you.

If this question has risen that means you do not view him to be your equal.
So in your eyes you and him are not Ardhanareeshwara or Lakhsmi Narayan...therefore best for you is to marry a man your parents choose for you..that would be the best for you.
 
whether he is good for me?......you decide ur life.....ur age is enough to understand about him....otherwise

ask ur parents.....better option.....LIFE IS CHALLENGE...BETTER TO FACE IT...IF U WANT TO ACHIEVE...

U HAVE TO LOOSE SOMETHING...there is in hindi....KUCH PAANE KE LIYE KUCH KHONA PADTA HAI...

KUCH KHOKAR HI KUCH PAATE HAI...even this is the answer for my own daughter too....no difference..

Not everyone knows hindi TBSji. Provide translation to your bits of wisdom.
 
Not everyone knows hindi TBSji. Provide translation to your bits of wisdom.

hi

thanks sir....the meaning of my quote is like this.....to achieve in something in life...we have to loose something...

after loosing something ...we gain something in life.....the translation of prasad ji like...Pyar kiya to Darna Kya?...

meaning like this....why are you fearing about love?....when you love somebody...
 
hi

thanks sir....the meaning of my quote is like this.....to achieve in something in life...we have to loose something...

after loosing something ...we gain something in life.....the translation of prasad ji like...Pyar kiya to Darna Kya?...

meaning like this....why are you fearing about love?....when you love somebody...

Very nice. Thank you TBS ji.
 
If you love then there is nothing to fear.
None of us know you two (then again no one knows others), so we can not judge the situation, We can give our opinion.
A union is only possible with adjustments and managing your expectations.
No marriage is a bed of roses, there are always hiccups. If you are ready to add an additional twist accept it, and marry the person you love. Or else stay single.
 
I am iyengar girl (22) . I am in love with backward caste boy (24)for a year we know each other very well . He said if my parents agree he will marry me definitely. Can you people guide whether he is good for me?
who decide this about the caste. Your title and content has no coherent way of approach to life.
 
Priyanka,

First off, you are still very young to marry. At this age, most people are not sure what they want. They are still planning their careers, relocation to other cities, countries as past of their careers, next plans, etc..

My advise, don't rush into anything. I am not against inter caste marraigee, but you need to be sure if this is what you want. If you parents are very conservative be prepared to face a lifetime of backlash, bitterness, fighting, etc..

This is why I said, you are too young to make this decision.

JK.
 
I am iyengar girl (22) . I am in love with backward caste boy (24)for a year we know each other very well . He said if my parents agree he will marry me definitely. Can you people guide whether he is good for me?
Sow.Priyanka,
If your statements are reviewed, it’s clear that being an Iyengar girl (if brought up in a typical Iyengar culture) you have preferred a BC boy outside your clan. This shows, subconsciously, you are prepared to break the tradition. Ok. If it’s not merely infatuation or gender attraction, and you have good reasons to justify to select the boy, please go ahead. However, your option to take opinions from third party and the boy’s decision that he will marry only if your parents agree (an excellent gesture from him) reveals that some corner both of you are NOT serious about the relation. If so, better quit it. Earlier the better.
Now the problems you both have to face are because of total variation in foods, habits, language (slangs), and inter family relations and rituals.
Of all problems, the food is the sole and main problem. Being a Brahmin if you can prepare non-beg or eat non-veg or sit next to non-veg eating relatives and have no issues of non-veg, excellent. 90% of problems between you two are solved. If not, it’s going to be hell for you, after the shine of love post marriage start vanishing. Next comes, inter and intramural family relations. Some one or the other in either community may prick you on a wrong side and may even defame or give pungent remarks on Brahmins and their age old culture. Yes, you have to digest or swallow it. Else, will become an issue. Also,your parents (if they are strict followers of brahminism) voluntarily never like to share the same dining table or kitchen or Fridge having non-veg and problem comes when they refuse to eat or share food items and start saying today is such and such a day and please avoid xyz.
So, you may have unwilling visits of parents and they may keep silence, not because they agreed your actions but for your family harmony.
Next issue is your children and their food habits. You cannot insist on vegetarian food nor anyone including your BC husband will like to hear you or your parents saying his mother was a Brahmin. Please note: Once you marry outside Brahmin culture - I will not say Caste, you loose your own identity as a Brahmin from the day one of marriage. You are neither a Brahmin or BC to the core of your own self consciousness and for the society. You have to be prepared for such un expressible inner emotional turmoils. This may lead to depression or frustration or self deceptive attitudes, which are not good for one’s life.
Finally, I would like to say & conclude more as an elderly (Sr.Citizen), socially aware & self-experienced, Iyengar Individual than as a highly placed scientist (technocrat and professional), widely travelled throughout India and foreign countries (but very strictly following Iyengar traditions & Culture besides being absolutely true vegetarian, no smoking, no drinks, etc): It’s your life, your preference, your freedom of living, etc. But, remember, Veda says, Brahmin, like Hinduism, is not a caste but a highly refined Culture. It takes centuries and multiple births to acquire a real Brahmin culture. On the contrary, If you, as an Iyengar girl marry a BC or any other less fortunate boy/family to learn Veda and inculcate the best points, rituals and traditions of brahminism to that family than that’s a great achievement and your so called inter-caste marriage becomes a boon of your life.
Please remember, nothing is correct, nothing is wrong, and it all depends on how one visualise one’s own action and reaction. Think twice and whatever you have taken you are only responsible and you should not regret later in life. Please note, hardly few Vedic sages were Brahmin and many became sages “Brahmin” by their deeds and enlightenment. May lord Narayana bless you both for a meaningful divine life ahead, as partners or as individuals. God bless all. V.Rajagopalan.
 
Being a Brahmin is a bhagyam...As it is our community is in doldrums because of single child, late marriage, unmarried boys...We were 4% of the population in the 50"s...We have become half of that in the last 70 years and most likelt to vanish in the 22nd century...You are what you are because of being a Brahmin family with some customs and traits...Leave it to you to take a community conscious decision...

If you want to read more, read this...One thread started by me is here:
 
I am iyengar girl (22) . I am in love with backward caste boy (24)for a year we know each other very well . He said if my parents agree he will marry me definitely. Can you people guide whether he is good for me?
With the changing times, I would think that caste should be of less significance in marriage. It is the character and education should be of foremost consideration. As long as the counter part is a good person with capacity to support the spouse and the future family, there should be no objection in accepting him or her as a marriage partner.
 
I am iyengar girl (22) . I am in love with backward caste boy (24)for a year we know each other very well . He said if my parents agree he will marry me definitely. Can you people guide whether he is good for me?
Dear priyanka...
Falling in love at this age is common. But selecting the boy for your entire future life... ur age is not appropriate for that... you have gained some maturity. In this 22 years of age 16 years went away as a small innocent girl. Within 6 do.u think u have gained experience in selecting a boy fornthe rest of ur life ???... and.more over cast. Religion and sub cast everything is so important because if there is any difference in these categories its a life time problem. Because brought up will be different. Mind set will be different. Leading the way of life will be different. Habits and rituals will be different... will make u mad within 1 year of ur married life... NOT AT ALL ADVISIBLE. you are thinking and rising a question here. That itself shows u r a sensible girl. Be positive. Be cool. Think wise and take a.decision. All the best my child.
Regards
 
I am iyengar girl (22) . I am in love with backward caste boy (24)for a year we know each other very well . He said if my parents agree he will marry me definitely. Can you people guide whether he is good for me?
From a shastric point of view, it is not advisable to do varna sankara(intermixing of varna/caste). If u do so, u will lose your caste and take up the caste of your boyfriend. since gotra and kula are determined by father/husband.
But beyond this i u want to marry him u can definitely go ahead.
 
Many things w
Many things will appear different. First cleanliness, second most important food habits , third behaviour of various people their relatives finally the boys behaviour change significantly after a year so also yours. So generally unadvisable as these pay heavily in the long run negatively. As initial age Romance and sex matters But more heavily life style start after pose non compromising problems. I advise strongly against it. Now a days divorse case are seen high in intercaste marriage, especially Brahmins marry others, that too Brahmin girls married to others
 
I am iyengar girl (22) . I am in love with backward caste boy (24)for a year we know each other very well . He said if my parents agree he will marry me definitely. Can you people guide whether he is good for me?
The moment backward caste boy mention from your end appears that mind of yours think differently and unadjustable. Avoid is the best for future happiness. In fights and argument the caste mention will appear heavily and will lead to heavy mind getting overstressed. Better to change, plenty of your caste boys available as you are young
 
I am iyengar girl (22) . I am in love with backward caste boy (24)for a year we know each other very well . He said if my parents agree he will marry me definitely. Can you people guide whether he is good for me?
This subject has been discussed many times in the Tamil Brahmins forum.
Legally nothing prevents you to marry a person of your choice.

Be sure it is the "love" drives you to marry a person of different community. Or it is the infatuation which is common at this age, that wants company to fulfill the natural urge of companion ship.
Life does not end with a marriage, rather it is the beginning of most important phase in the our life, which requires a lot of adjustments and support for smooth sailing.
It is a fact no one can be supportive at the time of need than our parents.
It is my experience in our own family, which has liberal views, I have seen many love marriages in the extended younger generation living inside and outside India. Statistically I should admit many of them failed in the long run. Main reason is the failure of compatability due to economic independence. As a class we have lost the family hierarchy,
which allowed members to communicate with each other and make decisions about how to move and grow as a family. The most typical and healthy structure that existed in our families of the past.

Being good friends is different from good husband and wife.
Think about this, discuss with your parents or well wishers and take a good decision.

wishing you well,
Brahmanyan
Bangalore.
 
Hi Priyanka,
As a father of a single daughter I would like to advise you to think before acting. the fact that you have chosen to ask this question shows your concern at this decision. I can fully empathise with you and your state of mind. Before taking any decision please take into consideration a few factors. Is the boy able to take care of himself and a family at his early age? Are you ready for it too? Then comes the aspect of parental acceptance; is there a resistance and is it based on some logical misgivings? Please do not underestimate the impact it will have on both you and your family. I suggest you decide what are the factors important to you long run and decide if at least the most important ones are ticked. Dont be in a hurry. You are too young, and can wait for a few more years. If at the end of it all you still want this do it but not now. Maybe after at least 3 to five more years of assurance that this is best for you. By then both of you should take your studies and career more seriously and achieve a state that makes you both confident of living life together happily.
 
I am a single iyengar male. There are a lot of non brahmins and 'liberal' brahmins here. So, dont take people who say "yeah sure, go ahead" seriously. Id say, if you've gotten intimate with him in any way, please run away. If you're sure, please do run away, we dont care. But just one thing. Run away and dont ever come back. A lot of women who go out maintain ties with their family, just for the brahmin tag. Thats called '****thanam". Because you'll begin to see the true colors of your lover and his family and friends, and they'll goad you to bring more of brahmin culture and language and habits. We didnt develop those so that odugaalis like you can daaravathufy that to NB's for your itch. So, its your life and you can do WTF you want with it. But choose either side. Dont touch brahmin culture again, and talk brainwash other brahmin girls. Odi poradhu na nee matum po. Thirumba varadha. If you come to your home with a paavamana moonji and maybe a baby, obviously your mom and dad will take you in, because, well, its 21st century. Thats what parents are like. But that caste doesnt belong to you alone. It belongs to me too. And if i cannot add to it, i can prevent it from being sullied by non brahmins who want to sully brahmin families and culture. They are using weak minded loose women like you who are blind to it. And who cannot take tough decisions. This is why women are said to be guarded. I cant let you and your hormones and your mom and dad to sully the caste tag that belongs to me. I can try, but the whole society is against brahmin males and supportive of females (you know why). So, have some vekkam maanam soodu soranai. If you run, dont turn back. For every one guy like me, there will be 1000000 people who support you. Still, this is my view. And remember, caste is patriarchical. Y-chromosome. Its passed from male to children. Thats why they said 'guard your women' (which im sure caste and family of that boy does, namba jaadhi thaan ilicha vai aache.) Because only men know how other men think. And thats why they attack brahmin men the most, especially in movies. Making it socially awkward,

I know how to handle this. Which 'backward caste' does your boyfriend belong to? Do you know what mindset they have? And do you know how differently they view brahmin women and men? Do you know how much hate they carry towards brahmins and how much venom they spew, in social media? I dont mind all that, and i can withstand a lakh times more. You are weak genes. I think you can be conveniently shed to shudras. Unna madhiri case lam avanga thalai la kattiduvom. Only, dont come back again. Your mom and dad will take you in. But the caste tag doesnt belong to them alone. It belongs to us, men. Thats why they are against the men, and for-women. Thats why they talk 'pen viduthalai'.
 
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hi

i am not against LOVE marriage...but if this same situation continues....its very difficult for BRAHMIN BOYS....

THESE AMMANJIS HAS TO CHANGE....becoz many brahmin gals prefer non brahmin boys.....VARNA SANGARA

is inevitable in modern days...MARRIAGE IS NOT TWO INDIVIDUALS....MARRIAGE IS OF TWO FAMILIES...i may

be wrong in this modern world...but i have seen in my own family....these things very hard in later life...
 
I am iyengar girl (22) . I am in love with backward caste boy (24)for a year we know each other very well . He said if my parents agree he will marry me definitely. Can you people guide whether he is good for me?
I am iyengar girl (22) . I am in love with backward caste boy (24)for a year we know each other very well . He said if my parents agree he will marry me definitely. Can you people guide whether he is good for me?
As a member in family having gone through an intercaste marriage my advice is not to choose this option if you can. If you are unemployed it is more difficult, once marriage is over you are on your own as your parents cannot support you on cultural and social matters relating to your husband family. All in your husband family may not be supporting thus marriage for various reasons complicating situations. marriage is successful due to support of many in soceity and in this major support is from your parents and your fiance family. If you think you have all this go ahead,
 
Dear Sister

First of all think of family Back ground.
In this world you can buy anything except parents and sentiments
Being born in Brahmin family, which in this world no one can, unless there is you have balance in your previous birth
everyone can say something, it is you life
All future good & bad things have to be considered while deciding
Conversion is simple, back to normalcy is not possible
Birth in Brahn=min community is a very big gift in this world
Culture & habits will differ from caste to caste
Brahmin culture will never go with any other caste
Think many a time before deciding.
There were so many boys in our community more than the qualities of other caste
humble request is to save our community - it is going into minority - after some 50 years you may not even find
 

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