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Intercaste marriage is it possible?

prasad1

Well-known member
I



I am surprised how his post didnt get moderated.
Its down right insulting to Ms Priyanka.



Just a reminder of 'guard your woman' talk..at the end of the day no matter what you can say about being Y chromosome and all...its a mother who tells her child who his/her dad is.
Without the word of a woman the Y chromosome is not validated unless one resorts to a DNA test.
That is the only way to get a sense of Caste, kula, Gotra etc.

That is how The Pandavas became Kshatriyas, and belonged to the Kuru Vanmsha.
If you checked there DNA, there will be no Kuru Vamsha at all.
 

tbs

Well-known member
TBS garu,

By American you mean a White American isnt it?
Cos american is a citizenship and it can be anyone from Asians, to Hispanics, to African Americans and Indians too.
hi

yes...white american...
 

tbs

Well-known member
Wish your kids the best.
May you be blessed with many grandkids.
hi

thanks.....i have enough my life with advaita vedanta....im more STITHA PRAJNA now....SAMA DUKHE

SUKHE LABHA ALABHA JAYA AJAYO....LOL
 

renuka

Well-known member
hi

thanks.....i have enough my life with advaita vedanta....im more STITHA PRAJNA now....SAMA DUKHE

SUKHE LABHA ALABHA JAYA AJAYO....LOL

Becos I said may you have many grandkids you said you are now a Sthitha Prajna...if I had said may you be blessed with many wives , i am sure your answer would have been different!LOL
 

Balacs

Active member
I am iyengar girl (22) . I am in love with backward caste boy (24)for a year we know each other very well . He said if my parents agree he will marry me definitely. Can you people guide whether he is good for me?
The boy's comment that your parent's approval is desirable deserves commendation. If you both are deeply in love and it is not mere infatuation, go ahead by all means. It is only when I had my own children to bring up, I realised the trials, tribulations and sacrifices parents make. Unfortunately, in our lives, we take parents for granted. Though I, my younger brother and my three elder sisters did everything we could to make them live happy and comfortable lives, I still feel that I could have done more for them, particularly in terms of spending time with them. Now, of course, it is too late.

While you need to take a final decision, please do note that I personally feel that parents consent and blessings is essential for a successful marriage. Marriage against their wishes is a strict no-no for me.
 

renuka

Well-known member
Ok ma'am. Sorry for the misunderstanding.i didn't mean you. I meant the people that you mentioned. They are committing fraud and their nb husband and their friends and families will obviously not care about it.
I'm single and I don't know about marriage and all. But I know generally that the divorce rates of arranged marriage in India is the lowest. And I believe the intended philosophy and thought behind it is also the most refined and pristine. And that's why I want to do what I can to protect it. And, FYI, this is not the way to destroy caste system. Dr.Ambedkar didn't mean this. This is just a way to weaken brahmins, and I have to at least fight against it right. Thanks. Excuse me if I have hurt any feeligs

Your intentions seem good to me.
May be you are still very young hence some emotions in words.
take care
God bless you.
 

Balacs

Active member
The boy's comment that your parent's approval is desirable deserves commendation. If you both are deeply in love and it is not mere infatuation, go ahead by all means. It is only when I had my own children to bring up, I realised the trials, tribulations and sacrifices parents make. Unfortunately, in our lives, we take parents for granted. Though I, my younger brother and my three elder sisters did everything we could to make them live happy and comfortable lives, I still feel that I could have done more for them, particularly in terms of spending time with them. Now, of course, it is too late.

While you need to take a final decision, please do note that I personally feel that parents consent and blessings is essential for a successful marriage. Marriage against their wishes is a strict no-no for me.
One more comment I would like to add. In a number of cases, in the past four decades, I have seen people who have married out of their castes being totally ignored by their relatives. It is painful and really hurts but there is nothing you can do about it. Even if your parents are invited there is a lot of simpering and snide remarks about how they have failed to "inculcate or instil the right values in their children". That means you are treated as an outcast no matter how unsavoury it may sound. No invitation by relatives to marriage or any other auspicious functions. Not even a casual visit for a chit chat and a cup of filter coffee. All this is absolutely hateful and I do not support it by any means but this does exist and you cannot wish it away. There has been a lot of valuable inputs by some experienced and esteemed members of this Forum and it would be in your best interests to consider all factors before you arrive at a decision.
 

sankaganesh

UlagamOruMayai
Please do marry the BC guy. The reason I am saying this is because if you break this affair and marry a Brahmin boy, you are pushing another person's life to Hell who would have worked hard to achieve his dreams. Sorry for being harsh.
 

prasad1

Well-known member
Family members fall apart, children grow away from parents, Children commit atrocities on their parents.
spouses commit physical and mental torchers. We hear of such instances every day. But in the grand scheme, they are all isolated instances.

More than 90% of the relationship in the animal world are by choice between the parties. Some of them end up in trouble. But there is tension in every relation, we live with it.
Arranged relationships are a rare phenomenon in this world, it serves its purpose, but again not every one of them is a success. There are colossal blunders even in arranged marriages. It happens.

Intercaste marriage is no different, it brings an additional degree of complication.

We have moved out of agrarian society, we do not have a large joint family, society has changed. We hanker for those "good old days", but they are gone. We have to live with the new realities.
We used to Ride coal-burning steam engines, we used to listen to Gramophones and radios, we used to send telegraphs, they all were in the past. We are able to give up Ambassador death traps and move on to Maruti.
Why can we not change socially?

If old people realize that they have lived their lives successfully mostly on their terms, now it is time to bless the younger generations. Give advice as and when needed, but do not set terms. Let the world live on.
 
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mr.gokul

Member
That is how The Pandavas became Kshatriyas, and belonged to the Kuru Vanmsha.
If you checked there DNA, there will be no Kuru Vamsha at all.
[/QUOTE]

Sir, you have mentioned elsewhere that your children are going to marry whites. Your kasappu towards all tradition, caste etc is understandable. But advice of an old person is taken to be valuable. If some NB guy sees this, he will say "anga brahmin uncles ey sollitanga, apram enna". This is unethical. Dont encourage this. Even if you are totally "chill", we have to live on. Even if we have to watch our own caste go down and diluted, we have to do what we can to save what we can. And like i said, i guess this is natural, and im cool with it too. Maybe weak genes are totally going under the sway of "natural selection". Maybe the only ones that remain are the strong ones... But please dont encourage this 🙏
 

renuka

Well-known member
That is how The Pandavas became Kshatriyas, and belonged to the Kuru Vanmsha.
If you checked there DNA, there will be no Kuru Vamsha at all.
Sir, you have mentioned elsewhere that your children are going to marry whites. Your kasappu towards all tradition, caste etc is understandable. But advice of an old person is taken to be valuable. If some NB guy sees this, he will say "anga brahmin uncles ey sollitanga, apram enna". This is unethical. Dont encourage this. Even if you are totally "chill", we have to live on. Even if we have to watch our own caste go down and diluted, we have to do what we can to save what we can. And like i said, i guess this is natural, and im cool with it too. Maybe weak genes are totally going under the sway of "natural selection". Maybe the only ones that remain are the strong ones... But please dont encourage this 🙏
[/QUOTE]

Dear Gokul...you got the members mixed up..
It is another member whose kids are marrying whites.

Btw why are you saying weak genes and strong genes etc .natural selection?

I am seeing most of the "very strong genes" in any community end up being unmarried.
 
You are too young (21) to fall in real love and in all probability it is infatuation. In general the maturity level of Indian kids (I was one in my previous life though God forced me to be very independent by 14 by snatching away my dad and leaving an agraharam raised mom and five small kids almost on the streets) of this age is below par as our lives have been decided by parents (go to this college, get this degree, who your friends are, take this job etc.) and their dependency on elders is high (I am not saying good or bad).

Most US born and raised kids of Indian origin do not think about love, marriage as most other American friends of them do (and get married and so on) until 26 (goal to finish BS, M.D., MBA etc. and to attain certain level of maturity) and when in residency, job etc. wait more saying the divorce rate is too high when you are in a high stressed jobs. And I know there are many marriages that are on ropes even in India now.

In my opinion, the reason we went for early childhood marriage etc. before are that the kick in the hormone is much higher and starts earlier than the maturity level and chances for mistakes are higher. And perhaps starting as arranged partners much younger lets them grow and bond together. But in practice, most ended up as child-parents :). And it is a story repeated throughout the world though the marriage may be by so called love and not arranged. Women are the ones paying the price when things go wrong. After all, men gives just microscopic sperms and can, and mostly will, walk away. But women have to carry the child to 38 weeks and need to care for them too. Sure abortion is there but it's effect lingers on women for ever.

Spend a year or two without seeing or chat etc. and see if the love is still there or moves to some one else. Good luck.
 

prasad1

Well-known member
That is how The Pandavas became Kshatriyas, and belonged to the Kuru Vanmsha.
If you checked there DNA, there will be no Kuru Vamsha at all.
Sir, you have mentioned elsewhere that your children are going to marry whites. Your kasappu towards all tradition, caste etc is understandable. But advice of an old person is taken to be valuable. If some NB guy sees this, he will say "anga brahmin uncles ey sollitanga, apram enna". This is unethical. Dont encourage this. Even if you are totally "chill", we have to live on. Even if we have to watch our own caste go down and diluted, we have to do what we can to save what we can. And like i said, i guess this is natural, and im cool with it too. Maybe weak genes are totally going under the sway of "natural selection". Maybe the only ones that remain are the strong ones... But please dont encourage this 🙏
[/QUOTE]


You have me mixed with someone else.
Then again can you stop mighty Ganga with your fingers? What is that you are trying to defend is indefensible.
If you stand in the way of Ganga, you will be swept over. I am not stopping anyone from following their own choice. Unlike some others, I am not making the choice for the younger generation.

Please treat the young adult with respect, they are not adult and not a baby.
I am very active in my Temple, Chinmaya Mission, and India society. I deal with young adults from all walks, and all regions of India. I have a much broader perspective.

So my opinions are much more liberal. I want other parents who are losing their children because of this narrow outlook. Let us grow and understand the wide world out there.
 

Jaykay767

Well-known member
Agree w Renukaji, this thread has to be moderated first.

It is highly disrespectful to other communities, to bash inter caste marraiges. After bashing them, don't cry, they hate us.

Only 2 points, we can all advise on..

1. Age factor, too young to decide life changing decision.
2. Parents oppostion will make life hell for everyone including her partner and their families.

Rest of the areas, as Renukaji rightly pointed out, people learn to live, adjust, and make a good life.

I have said this earlier, you can feel superior, or have 2 horns, or whatever the heck you want, no one would care (not encouraging anyone to feel superior etc.. ), but do not ever discriminate, be condescending to anyone.
 
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Jaykay767

Well-known member
High time, the moderators lay down rules on caste discussions as well. Some of the words used are highly abusive and should not be encouraged.
 

Jaykay767

Well-known member
Another point I want to bring back to moderators consideration, is that only selected people should be allowed to debate in the "debate section".

Our entire community name gets tarnished when one or two people post such abusive content particularly when it comes to other castes and religions.

Not saying we should not debate these topics, but only selected people should be allowed to debate and they have to strictly adhere by the rules. No abusing, no snide remarks, attacks, etc..
 

Brahmanyan

Well-known member
High time, the moderators lay down rules on caste discussions as well. Some of the words used are highly abusive and should not be encouraged.
Agreed fully. This discussion is getting deviated away from the main qestion. Enough is enough. Let us leave the young lady to discuss the matter with her parents and well wishers and take a good decision.
Brahmanyan
Bangalore.
 

Jaykay767

Well-known member
One of the most disconcerting issue that I see is that, all social media forums have become platforms to propagate hate, abuse against communites, csstes, religions. And some of the abuses in this thread is totally unacceptable.

I mean, why for the love of God, can people not have an open mind and listen to others view without prejudice and spouting abuses ? I mean, counter the others views by all means, without abusing other communities and posters.

Precisely the reason, I said, don't fill the mind with anger and hatred, it will only harm the person who harbours it.

From Brahmin bashing on this forum, we have now moved to the other extreme of openly posting against Muslims, Christians, and other castes.

The entire country has lost its morals, values, and tolerance, so much for following Hinduism and Vasudaiva kutumbakam !
 

renuka

Well-known member
Agree w Renukaji, this thread has to be moderated first.

It is highly disrespectful to other communities, to bash inter caste marraiges. After bashing them, don't cry, they hate us.

Only 2 points, we can all advise on..

1. Age factor, too young to decide life changing decision.
2. Parents oppostion will make life hell for everyone including her partner and their families.

Rest of the areas, as Renukaji rightly pointed out, people learn to live, adjust, and make a good life.

I have said this earlier, you can feel superior, or have 2 horns, or whatever the heck you want, no one would care (not encouraging anyone to feel superior etc.. ), but do not ever discriminate, be condescending to anyone.
JK ji..
Its not about insulting any caste here.
I just felt one post was very insulting to Ms Priyanka.
Whatever said and done no one has the right to character assassinate another human being.
 

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