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Intercaste marriage is it possible?

Jaykay767

Well-known member
JK ji..
Its not about insulting any caste here.
I just felt one post was very insulting to Ms Priyanka.
Whatever said and done no one has the right to character assassinate another human being.
Renukaji,
It is both. By insulting the OP, they are also insulting other castes.
I mean, why shouldn't our next gen marry other castes ? What is so wrong ? That they have to bash the OP so much.

This is what I said in my earlier post, any discussion on such topics of caste, politics, religion, immediately descends into hatred and abuse. One can encourage the OP to marry within the same community without directly or in this case indirectly absuing other communities. and castes.

JK.
 

renuka

Well-known member
Renukaji,
It is both. By insulting the OP, they are also insulting other castes.
I mean, why shouldn't our next gen marry other castes ? What is so wrong ? That they have to bash the OP so much.

This is what I said in my earlier post, any discussion on such topics of caste, politics, religion, immediately descends into hatred and abuse. One can encourage the OP to marry within the same community without directly or in this case indirectly absuing other communities. and castes.

JK.

Yes...it was insulting other castes too but that i felt was his opinion becos i have seen videos on FB where other caste insult TBs too.

So i gather that is general behavior seen in TN where there are some issues with each other

Also its very normal male behavior to feel angry when another community male gets their girls becos they feel a woman is their property...but same rules dont apply for males...that is a male can marry anyone!

Like how we see Bollywood movies..Indian guy lovvu Pakistani girl but u wont find movies Pakistani guy and Indian girl! Lol

So some amount of such opinions is understandable if the poster is young.
With time and decline in hormones all of us mature and become more sensible.
 
Priyanka,
It is a life's decision which you are making. So any decision that you are taking you alone would be responsible for that decision. So think a lot before taking any decision.
I am not inclined to give an opinion whether it is good or bad. These are very subjective and entirely personal decision.
I can tell you from the experience that I have seen with some of my friends who have gone for intercaste or interreligion marriages. Some of them have completed more than 25 years of marriage.. Some feel they should not have.. while some take it on their stride.
If you are belong to a very orthodox family and if you are brought up like that, you may find it difficult to adjust initially. As some others have pointed out especially in eating veg/ non veg etc.
Marriage itself is based on compromises. Both the husband and wife come from different families, different ways of upbringing, even if they belong to the same caste. It is not the case all the same caste marriages are successful. Again success of marriage is very subjective.
We need to appreciate that two people from different backgrounds will have differences in every thing. The effort is how to make it a life of happiness by arriving at a consensus.
Earlier days women were not financially independent. So they had to go by whatever their parents said, whether they liked the boy or not for marriage. That doesn't mean that arranged marriages are bad. I am only saying it from point of view of decision making.
The present generation parents are very broad minded and they take life as it comes. One of my friends brought up his daughter as a typical Brahmin girl, learning music, dance and very good at studies, etc. she went to USA and there met an American boy who is a Christian and they are married now and have a child also.
Therefore, there is nothing wrong or right in any decision in life. Only time can tell us whether we went in the right direction or not.
But the point that I want you to realise is that whatever decision you are taking you alone will be responsible as there is no point in blaming others. Having said that, life should be seen in a positive manner and hope that everything will be alright.
Pl discuss frankly with the boy whatever your concerns are regarding life after marriage. After that give some thoughts to yourself, then take a decision. Either way dont take a hasty decision. Give some time to think.
Believe in God ! All the Best ! God Bless!
 

teshil

Member
Let me make it brief!
1. If you can feel the love of the other person and vice versa, then all problems are solvable for the same reason. Where there is love, there is also respect!!
2. Irrespective of what you feel, it is highly recommended that you learn to stand on your own legs and have the freedom to choose, at all times. Such approach is an insurance policy in case of unexpected change.
3. You should be able to practice your faith and customs if #1 is true.
4. Your children will largely emulate the life that they see around them during their formative years. What they will emulate, therefore, will be in your collective hands.
5. Above all, while we all have the free will, every one who come across and the challenges that we face have reasons that we can't understand fully, in this life.

The most important among the five above, is #2. That will help you to make your decisions work irrespective of whether right or wrong.

I believe that everyone must stand on their own legs; particularly the women so that they can be free.

My 2 cents; good luck!!
 

Priyanka

New member
Sow.Priyanka,
If your statements are reviewed, it’s clear that being an Iyengar girl (if brought up in a typical Iyengar culture) you have preferred a BC boy outside your clan. This shows, subconsciously, you are prepared to break the tradition. Ok. If it’s not merely infatuation or gender attraction, and you have good reasons to justify to select the boy, please go ahead. However, your option to take opinions from third party and the boy’s decision that he will marry only if your parents agree (an excellent gesture from him) reveals that some corner both of you are NOT serious about the relation. If so, better quit it. Earlier the better.
Now the problems you both have to face are because of total variation in foods, habits, language (slangs), and inter family relations and rituals.
Of all problems, the food is the sole and main problem. Being a Brahmin if you can prepare non-beg or eat non-veg or sit next to non-veg eating relatives and have no issues of non-veg, excellent. 90% of problems between you two are solved. If not, it’s going to be hell for you, after the shine of love post marriage start vanishing. Next comes, inter and intramural family relations. Some one or the other in either community may prick you on a wrong side and may even defame or give pungent remarks on Brahmins and their age old culture. Yes, you have to digest or swallow it. Else, will become an issue. Also,your parents (if they are strict followers of brahminism) voluntarily never like to share the same dining table or kitchen or Fridge having non-veg and problem comes when they refuse to eat or share food items and start saying today is such and such a day and please avoid xyz.
So, you may have unwilling visits of parents and they may keep silence, not because they agreed your actions but for your family harmony.
Next issue is your children and their food habits. You cannot insist on vegetarian food nor anyone including your BC husband will like to hear you or your parents saying his mother was a Brahmin. Please note: Once you marry outside Brahmin culture - I will not say Caste, you loose your own identity as a Brahmin from the day one of marriage. You are neither a Brahmin or BC to the core of your own self consciousness and for the society. You have to be prepared for such un expressible inner emotional turmoils. This may lead to depression or frustration or self deceptive attitudes, which are not good for one’s life.
Finally, I would like to say & conclude more as an elderly (Sr.Citizen), socially aware & self-experienced, Iyengar Individual than as a highly placed scientist (technocrat and professional), widely travelled throughout India and foreign countries (but very strictly following Iyengar traditions & Culture besides being absolutely true vegetarian, no smoking, no drinks, etc): It’s your life, your preference, your freedom of living, etc. But, remember, Veda says, Brahmin, like Hinduism, is not a caste but a highly refined Culture. It takes centuries and multiple births to acquire a real Brahmin culture. On the contrary, If you, as an Iyengar girl marry a BC or any other less fortunate boy/family to learn Veda and inculcate the best points, rituals and traditions of brahminism to that family than that’s a great achievement and your so called inter-caste marriage becomes a boon of your life.
Please remember, nothing is correct, nothing is wrong, and it all depends on how one visualise one’s own action and reaction. Think twice and whatever you have taken you are only responsible and you should not regret later in life. Please note, hardly few Vedic sages were Brahmin and many became sages “Brahmin” by their deeds and enlightenment. May lord Narayana bless you both for a meaningful divine life ahead, as partners or as individuals. God bless all. V.Rajagopalan.
He does not pressure me at all. He is ready to take veg food also. But he always says me that if your parents dont agree to our love I will never force you and you can take your decisions freely and I will be at your side
 

Priyanka

New member
Sow.Priyanka,
If your statements are reviewed, it’s clear that being an Iyengar girl (if brought up in a typical Iyengar culture) you have preferred a BC boy outside your clan. This shows, subconsciously, you are prepared to break the tradition. Ok. If it’s not merely infatuation or gender attraction, and you have good reasons to justify to select the boy, please go ahead. However, your option to take opinions from third party and the boy’s decision that he will marry only if your parents agree (an excellent gesture from him) reveals that some corner both of you are NOT serious about the relation. If so, better quit it. Earlier the better.
Now the problems you both have to face are because of total variation in foods, habits, language (slangs), and inter family relations and rituals.
Of all problems, the food is the sole and main problem. Being a Brahmin if you can prepare non-beg or eat non-veg or sit next to non-veg eating relatives and have no issues of non-veg, excellent. 90% of problems between you two are solved. If not, it’s going to be hell for you, after the shine of love post marriage start vanishing. Next comes, inter and intramural family relations. Some one or the other in either community may prick you on a wrong side and may even defame or give pungent remarks on Brahmins and their age old culture. Yes, you have to digest or swallow it. Else, will become an issue. Also,your parents (if they are strict followers of brahminism) voluntarily never like to share the same dining table or kitchen or Fridge having non-veg and problem comes when they refuse to eat or share food items and start saying today is such and such a day and please avoid xyz.
So, you may have unwilling visits of parents and they may keep silence, not because they agreed your actions but for your family harmony.
Next issue is your children and their food habits. You cannot insist on vegetarian food nor anyone including your BC husband will like to hear you or your parents saying his mother was a Brahmin. Please note: Once you marry outside Brahmin culture - I will not say Caste, you loose your own identity as a Brahmin from the day one of marriage. You are neither a Brahmin or BC to the core of your own self consciousness and for the society. You have to be prepared for such un expressible inner emotional turmoils. This may lead to depression or frustration or self deceptive attitudes, which are not good for one’s life.
Finally, I would like to say & conclude more as an elderly (Sr.Citizen), socially aware & self-experienced, Iyengar Individual than as a highly placed scientist (technocrat and professional), widely travelled throughout India and foreign countries (but very strictly following Iyengar traditions & Culture besides being absolutely true vegetarian, no smoking, no drinks, etc): It’s your life, your preference, your freedom of living, etc. But, remember, Veda says, Brahmin, like Hinduism, is not a caste but a highly refined Culture. It takes centuries and multiple births to acquire a real Brahmin culture. On the contrary, If you, as an Iyengar girl marry a BC or any other less fortunate boy/family to learn Veda and inculcate the best points, rituals and traditions of brahminism to that family than that’s a great achievement and your so called inter-caste marriage becomes a boon of your life.
Please remember, nothing is correct, nothing is wrong, and it all depends on how one visualise one’s own action and reaction. Think twice and whatever you have taken you are only responsible and you should not regret later in life. Please note, hardly few Vedic sages were Brahmin and many became sages “Brahmin” by their deeds and enlightenment. May lord Narayana bless you both for a meaningful divine life ahead, as partners or as individuals. God bless all. V.Rajagopalan.
He is ready to opt veg and that is not his problem. He often says me that I can take decisions on my own and he will never force me. My parents are strict and i am a doctor also may be this might be the reason which I think my parents may not agree
 

Jaykay767

Well-known member
Priyanka,

Let me add some points, and this will help clarify your doubts.

1. Marraige is not the "end all" and "be all" of life. So don't spend all the time thinking on this, take a step back and look at overall life goals.

2. Build career, & Read and learn about - Literature, languages, culture, traditions, philosophy, religion, etc.. apart from the core career subjects of enginerring. This will be far more fulfilling in your life. Career will ensure you are financially independent and also support the fsmily if by chance, your husband loses his job at some point in life.

3. Assess every decision with pros and cons analysis. You should assess whether you want to marry at 21 yrs even before building a career. Read about people who married very young and regretted, understand the pros and cons.

4. Experience is irreplaceable - so take the inputs from seniors, don't disregard them. for eg, most people particularly those who come from orthodox or fairly religious conservative middle class families will turn to religion in a big way after 40 yrs, sometimes even earlier. At this time, people will regret choosing the wrong partners. Not specific to intercaste marrwiges. Even within community, if you marry an atheist and you turn religious at 40 yrs, you will regret the marraige everyday. Bad marriages do not start as bad, it all starts with love and hope, which turn slowly into a disaster if ideologies, interests, hobbies, careers do not match or do not complement.

5. Children - unfortunately, the biggest impact of inter caste marriages is on children. They will want to marry only with Tamil Brahmins, and most of them will reject the alliances. So in your 40s and 50s you and your partner, both will regret the marraige, seeing your kids suffer.

6. Age 21 yrs is not the time to make any decison that is life long. You will not have the experience to choose the the right life partner whether inter caste or within tambrams. And while divorce is always an option, remember it is not easy and will leave a lot of people upset, will be a painful process for you.

5. Ideologies - you seem to be a smart liberal inclusive girl, and open minded to take advise from others, so you definitely don't want to be married to a "Sanghi family" who will keep spouting anti Muslim hatred day in and day out. Your life will become hell listening to all that negative stuff. Trust me, you are living a great life now, studying, learning and staying in a protective environment with your parents. If you get into a bad marraige, it is all over. You will have to run day and night.

Ultimately, there is absolutely nothing or no one in life, that is worth rushing for and dying for. Not even when someone gives you a billion dollar, because you don't know what problems that money will bring. So take it easy, spend time with friends, and build a career, forget about love stuff for a few years.
 
Last edited:

tbs

Well-known member
Priyanka,

Let me add some points, and this will help clarify your doubts.

1. Marraige is not the "end all" and "be all" of life. So don't spend all the time thinking on this, take a step back and look at overall life goals.

2. Build career, & Read and learn about - Literature, languages, culture, traditions, philosophy, religion, etc.. apart from the core career subjects of enginerring. This will be far more fulfilling in your life. Career will ensure you are financially independent and also support the fsmily if by chance, your husband loses his job at some point in life.

3. Assess every decision with pros and cons analysis. You should assess whether you want to marry at 21 yrs even before building a career. Read about people who married very young and regretted, understand the pros and cons.

4. Experience is irreplaceable - so take the inputs from seniors, don't disregard them. for eg, most people particularly those who come from orthodox or fairly religious conservative middle class families will turn to religion in a big way after 40 yrs, sometimes even earlier. At this time, people will regret choosing the wrong partners. Not specific to intercaste marrwiges. Even within community, if you marry an atheist and you turn religious at 40 yrs, you will regret the marraige everyday. Bad marriages do not start as bad, it all starts with love and hope, which turn slowly into a disaster if ideologies, interests, hobbies, careers do not match or do not complement.

5. Children - unfortunately, the biggest impact of inter caste marriages is on children. They will want to marry only with Tamil Brahmins, and most of them will reject the alliances. So in your 40s and 50s you and your partner, both will regret the marraige, seeing your kids suffer.

6. Age 21 yrs is not the time to make any decison that is life long. You will not have the experience to choose the the right life partner whether inter caste or within tambrams. And while divorce is always an option, remember it is not easy and will leave a lot of people upset, will be a painful process for you.


5. Ideologies - you seem to be a smart liberal inclusive girl, and open minded to take advise from others, so you definitely don't want to be married to a "Sanghi family" who will keep spouting anti Muslim hatred day in and day out. Your life will become hell listening to all that negative stuff. Trust me, you are living a great life now, studying, learning and staying in a protective environment with your parents. If you get into a bad marraige, it is all over. You will have to run day and night.

Ultimately, there is absolutely nothing or no one in life, that is worth rushing for and dying for. Not even when someone gives you a billion dollar, because you don't know what problems that money will bring. So take it easy, spend time with friends, and build a career, forget about love stuff for a few years.
hi


5. Children - unfortunately, the biggest impact of inter caste marriages is on children. They will want to marry only with Tamil Brahmins, and most of them will reject the alliances. So in your 40s and 50s you and your partner, both will regret the marraige, seeing your kids suffer.

6. Age 21 yrs is not the time to make any decison that is life long. You will not have the experience to choose the the right life partner whether inter caste or within tambrams. And while divorce is always an option, remember it is not easy and will leave a lot of people upset, will be a painful process for you.




i agreed with u sir...nice words.......probably everything is in an experience point of view...
 

renuka

Well-known member
Dear Priyanka,

Since you are a doctor, it would be easier for me to explain.
The human brain as you know is very much under the influence of the endrocrinal system and nature designs us for continuation of species.

So somehow we gravitate towards choosing mates for the purpose of reproduction.

Some of us choose a mate ourselves or chosen by family etc...that is the only difference.

When we choose a mate ourselves there is more endorphin release and the brain feels the effect of attraction and its a intoxicating feeling...Deva and Devis have love marriage somehow...none of them had arranged marriage...only to depict that creative forces are finally in our hands.

Now...in an arranged marriage endorphin release is also there but since there is a sense of security it could go into oxytocin phase of security a little faster becos the environment is a little safer since the odds for differences is less.

Now when one is older having hit andropause and menopause then one realizes in the game of nature we humans bonded for a reason to procreate..to bond..nurture..guide the younger generation and then exit the world.

Now this process can happen between any two individuals and the love as in attraction need not even be a criteria.

To be honest , the guy whom you like is a tad bit more aware of this fact than you cos he has mentally prepared himself for a No from your parents.

He is a practical person who doesnt want to see himself plunge into a depression if your parents say No.

Then there is you who is having doubts too...but may be being young and the idea of love feels refreshing too.

I feel both of you are just fearful and not really willing to face the harsh reality.

Its not that an inter caste marriage doesnt work out....it does..many intercaste marriages work out if the mind set is a less binding one where one can rise above the external differences and not hold on to external as the identity and function as " I am a human " format and not " i am a Varna" format...but sadly its not very possible in India as much as its possible in other countries.

Final diagnosis : its easier to find a vaccine for Covid -19 than trying to find a solution for an intercaste marriage in India.

Treatment : Put a mask on your feelings and marry your own kind.
 

mr.gokul

Member
Treatment : Put a mask on your feelings and marry your own kind.
Objection your honor, ma'am. This is popular advice, and I don't like it. Why does marrying your own kind have to be a 'sacrifice'? Why does someone have to bury their feelings and marry into one's own caste half heartedly? Why doesn't nobody point out that this is not "love", but simple, plain old lust?? This word 'love' has been deeply sullied and excessively romanticized, precisely for more of these scenarios to happen. What happens between two hormonal teenagers or two young adults is not love. It's only lust. Love can happen at any age, between anyone, even animals.

It's really sad to see that Brahmins are totally totally clueless about this. Tamil society harasses Brahmin men and glorifies non Brahmin men, thereby encouraging more of these things to happen. Showing Brahmin men as weak, cunning people, and other nb men as tough, humble people with positive attributes. If you notice all the movies, the parents and menfolk of the girl are shown as comedy characters. I'm sure she or her father are also TOTALLY ignorant about the surge of deep anti-brahmin hatred in tamilnadu in recent times. If she knew what brahmin men have to go through, she wouldn't have asked this question.

I'm not a doctor,but I can try to give a doctor-ish response from Google. A Woman has to protected by the menfolk of her clan. Period. Lack of that creates shamelessness in women. Y-chromosome comes only from males. All the nb's of society are conspiring to create a condition that is favorable for upper caste women to "fall in love" with lower caste men, getting the better genes for themselves. The very sense of shame in a girl's mind is imparted only by the males. EVERY ONE does this except Brahmins. In the மெதப்பு of being progressive.

If I'm harsh, excuse me, but I'm so concerned because im also Iyengar, and I'm aware of these things. If anybody is hurt, உங்க மனசு புண்படும்னு பாத்துட்ருந்தா நாங்க தலை ல துண்டு போட்டுக்க வேண்டியது தான்.
 

tbs

Well-known member
hi priyanka,

my daughter is also doctor and also marrying a WHITE AMERICAN BOY....but she is more than 30 yrs old...

i may not be OK.....but in USA...its very common...same advice to her also...she is very independent

decision maker...
 

tbs

Well-known member
hi priyanka,

my daughter is also doctor and also marrying a WHITE AMERICAN BOY....but she is more than 30 yrs old...

i may not be OK.....but in USA...its very common...same advice to her also...she is very independent

decision maker...
hi

just info...THE BOY IS CHRISTIAN....so inter religion marriage...
 

renuka

Well-known member
hi priyanka,

my daughter is also doctor and also marrying a WHITE AMERICAN BOY....but she is more than 30 yrs old...

i may not be OK.....but in USA...its very common...same advice to her also...she is very independent

decision maker...
if the groom is an african american or hispanic or asian or a muslim white guy or arab ? what would be your reaction?LOL
 

tbs

Well-known member
if the groom is an african american or hispanic or asian or a muslim white guy or arab ? what would be your reaction?LOL
hi doctor,

i dont like BMW.....u know ....BLACK/MUSLIM/WHITE.....its hard for me...this is my reaction..lol
 

renuka

Well-known member
[/QUOTE]
Objection your honor, ma'am. This is popular advice, and I don't like it. Why does marrying your own kind have to be a 'sacrifice'? Why does someone have to bury their feelings and marry into one's own caste half heartedly? Why doesn't nobody point out that this is not "love", but simple, plain old lust?? This word 'love' has been deeply sullied and excessively romanticized, precisely for more of these scenarios to happen. What happens between two hormonal teenagers or two young adults is not love. It's only lust. Love can happen at any age, between anyone, even animals.

It's really sad to see that Brahmins are totally totally clueless about this. Tamil society harasses Brahmin men and glorifies non Brahmin men, thereby encouraging more of these things to happen. Showing Brahmin men as weak, cunning people, and other nb men as tough, humble people with positive attributes. If you notice all the movies, the parents and menfolk of the girl are shown as comedy characters. I'm sure she or her father are also TOTALLY ignorant about the surge of deep anti-brahmin hatred in tamilnadu in recent times. If she knew what brahmin men have to go through, she wouldn't have asked this question.

I'm not a doctor,but I can try to give a doctor-ish response from Google. A Woman has to protected by the menfolk of her clan. Period. Lack of that creates shamelessness in women. Y-chromosome comes only from males. All the nb's of society are conspiring to create a condition that is favorable for upper caste women to "fall in love" with lower caste men, getting the better genes for themselves. The very sense of shame in a girl's mind is imparted only by the males. EVERY ONE does this except Brahmins. In the மெதப்பு of being progressive.

If I'm harsh, excuse me, but I'm so concerned because im also Iyengar, and I'm aware of these things. If anybody is hurt, உங்க மனசு புண்படும்னு பாத்துட்ருந்தா நாங்க தலை ல துண்டு போட்டுக்க வேண்டியது தான்.

You are entitled to your opinion.

But please be reminded that a woman does not need a male to protect her from anyone...in fact its a man that needs a woman to protect him for almost 9 months in her uterus.

Love or lust or anything you call it is the design of nature for continuation of species..its the same for all humans.

Coming to who has better genes that is also very normal for a human to have very high attachment to his body thinking that he is indeed the best of creation...you are not the 1st one to say this...even other races in the world too have this feeling eg for a white supremacist everyone else of any shade that isnt white is inferior and the even Hitler thought he had superior genes and killed so many people.

So this is not an unknown condition.

Get well soon.
 

renuka

Well-known member
I'm not a doctor,but I can try to give a doctor-ish response from Google. A Woman has to protected by the menfolk of her clan. Period. Lack of that creates shamelessness in women. Y-chromosome comes only from males. All the nb's of society are conspiring to create a condition that is favorable for upper caste women to "fall in love" with lower caste men, getting the better genes for themselves. The very sense of shame in a girl's mind is imparted only by the males. EVERY ONE does this except Brahmins. In the மெதப்பு of being progressive.

Y chromosomes come only from males..yes..true..but you still need an X chromosome from a female to even call yourself a male.

There is no organism with a YY running around the world.

The XXY is Klinefelter syndrome which is a male that exhibits feminine characteristics and diminished masculine characteristics...overall behavior normal with gentle behavior.

The XO is Turner syndrome a women who has a lack of X chromosome and shows features of lower IQ and also infertility due ovarian failure...but overall behavior is normal.

now lets get to the XYY..the syndrome in which there is an extra Y chromosome..these are the aggressive males and many criminals/serial killers have shown to have XYY ..just too aggressive...just 1 extra YY and you get a human who is almost a criminal.

and a YY is not compatible with life and does not exists.


Conclusion : It is the X chromosome from the female that confers the gentleness and sense of shyness or shame or being soft and kind.

If you know Sanskrit you would understand that the word Stri meaning a woman is made up of the the 3 gunas :

Sattva (S)
Tamas(T)
Rajas(R)

That is a female is mainly Sattva for her being the gender to bring about life and she is naturally having more love and compassion.

Next is Tamas...this quality gives her the shyness and sense of shame.

Rajas...the aggression in a woman is very less.


So if you know biology or Sanskrit or both...you would understand that the sense of shame or shyness is naturally present in a woman and in no way is a man playing any role to impart the sense of shame in a woman.

What you have is just the primitive male mindset where he thinks he owns a woman and she would misbehave if a man is not there to teach her.

Then some males go one step further and start quoting Arjuna in the Bhagavad Geeta where he says "

TEXT 40
adharmabhibhavat krsna
pradusyanti kula-striyah
strisu dustasu varsneya
jayate varna-sankarah
SYNONYMS

TRANSLATION
When irreligion is prominent in the family, O Krsna, the women of the family become corrupt, and from the degradation of womanhood, O descendant of Vrsni, comes unwanted progeny.



But all forget to read the reply Lord Krishna gives Arjuna.

TEXT 2
sri-bhagavan uvaca
kutas tva kasmalam idam
visame samupasthitam
anarya-justam asvargyam
akirti-karam arjuna

TRANSLATION
The Supreme Person [Bhagavan] said: My dear Arjuna, how have these impurities come upon you? They are not at all befitting a man who knows the progressive values of life. They do not lead to higher planets, but to infamy.



Krishna never really supports what Arjuna told and never degraded the character of women.


So Gokul...be a Krishna since your name is Gokul.
 

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