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husband and wife

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A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the
next day,he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early
morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote
on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he
knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and
he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his
wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The
paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.


WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them
wanted to concede their position.


As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked
sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"


"Yep," the wife replied , " in-laws"


WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished
to purchase.


As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a
television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with
me,and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him
legally."

W O R D S


A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
day. 30,000 to a man's 15,000.


The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat
everything to men...


The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"


CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid
and so beautiful all at the same time.

" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me
stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT


A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the
coffee each morning.


The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we
don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you
should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the
Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several
pages, that it indeed says ............." HEBREWS"
 
I can't help being tempted to post this joke here, a joke I heard long back, after reading so much about the point-counterpoints of the shrAddha mantra that is supposed to hint at the uncertainty of the same varNa/caste in the lineage of a person.

A group of women who were expectant mothers were frustrated that their husbands would not partake their labour pains even after being the root cause of their conception. They went and represented to Maheshvara Shiva about their plight and requested him that henceforth husbands should partake half the suffering of the labour pain of their wives.

Shiva asked them: "You thought over this thoroughly? Are you sure of your request?"

"Yes, Parameshvara, we are frustrated by always being at the receiving end", they said.

"Alright," said Shiva. "All of you who are expectant mothers now, will experience only half the pain when you deliver your child in the near future, and your partner will bear the other half of the pain."

The mothers went home gladly and conveyed the news to their husbands with glee.

Up came the time of labour pain for a woman in the group. She saw her husband suffer half her pain promptly. After two months, it was the turn of her friend who lived in the same street to experience the labour pain. To her and her friend's dismay, they found that her friend's husband suffered no pains at all! To make it worse, the husband even started ridiculing his wife that her devotion was not enough, so Shiva did not grant her wish. On the next day, however, when her pain was mounting, she and her spouse heard the man next doors wailing in pain!

The group of women rushed back to Shiva and begged him to take back his boon, and he obliged them readily, with a smile!
 
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