• Welcome to Tamil Brahmins forums.

    You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our Free Brahmin Community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

    If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us.

Who should die first ? Husband or wife

Raji Ram

Active member
??? Is date of death determined by humans? :nono:

Even Lord Yamā is unable to take away a VVIP's life!!! :(

But, as far as I have seen, widows live better than widowers, after the mourning period.
 

renuka

Well-known member
I was told a middle eastern story about 2 lovers who were madly in love but families objected becos the boy was from a poor family and the girl a rich family.

So the 2 lovers decided to commit suicide..planned to jump off a cliff.
They started debating who should die 1st.

Then guy said let me die 1st cos i wont be able to bear to watch your dead body.

So the guy jumped 1st and died.

Then the girl took a look at his body blood and all and became scared and went home.
Eventually she married another man.

The person who narrated this story to me concluded it by saying..so now you can understand how the term ladies first came about.
 

renuka

Well-known member
Dear RRji..

I always tell my husband that i would prefer to die before him but he should take another wife after i die so he wont be alone.

Thats why i keep telling him to exercise and be fit and trim so he will still cut a dashing figure even in old age so in case I die before him he would still have market value to get a new wife.
 
S

swathi25

Guest
In the present world, after retirement, after doing so called responsibilities such as children marriage and all, assuming no other commitments who die first husband or wife


Responsibilities never cease.

Life is to live and not to die

For more, life starts only after retirement.

More consider this as second innings and believe there are more pleasures to explore.

Let us plan for a ‘better second innings, enjoying every moment of our journey with the lovely company of our partner, towards the grave.

Why overtaking each other?? Pray for simultaneous death, with ardent belief that it will happen.
 

tbs

0
hi

natural death is not in our hand.....the systamatic vaanaprastham/sanyasam...யார் பிரிந்தாலும் வேதனை பாதியில்....
 
Vannakkam,

Bizarre question indeed. Death is inevitable, yet not in our hands (except deliberately ending life). Rather than thinking who 'should' go first, perhaps,what matters is staying independantly sans the spouse. If the person cannot be stay alone and opt for remarriage, it is up to them.

In few cases, aged senior citizens lose their bearings if their partners die. Depression, loneliness and other feelings overpower them. So it is best to think how to live for themselves productively during golden years.
 
S

swathi25

Guest


Couple married for 64 years die holding hands, just hours apart

couple1.jpg

[FONT=&quot]Dolores, originally in the hospital to sit at her dying husband's bedside, died 11 hours before her husband [/FONT][FONT=&quot]( Sheryl Winstead )
[/FONT]
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'I hadn’t thought about it this way at the time ... [but] literally, he died of a broken heart'

Dolores Winstead was mostly silent as she stood by her husband’s hospital bed earlier this month, cupping his hand in both of hers. The 88-year-old man’s kidneys had begun to fail, he hadn’t eaten in days and his blood pressure was sinking.

As Trent Winstead’s condition deteriorated, and before Dolores fell ill beside him, the 83-year-old woman spoke softly to her daughter.
“I don’t know what I would do without him,” she said.

The Nashville couple had been together for nearly 64 years, through Trent’s service in the Korean War, the birth of two children, three grandchildren and eight great-grandchildren. For more than six decades, Dolores and Trent remained side by side.
It was the early 1950s — just before Trent left for the war — when they began dating. He would write long letters to her from overseas, telling her he was “awful glad to hear from her”. When Trent finally proposed, he wanted so badly for her to be his wife that he decided to ask her while she was brushing her teeth, because how could she say no with a toothbrush in her mouth?

Read more at: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/...olores-trent-winstead-tennessee-a7493976.html

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Who knows, there may be more such incidents of couples breathing their last within an hour, within a day, within a week, etc etc

Read somewhere: Prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
S

swathi25

Guest
It is said that life expectancy in the case of women is more compared to men.

Hence debate is not necessary.

Sir,

I agree, but there are exceptions too.

After 75 Years Of Marriage, This Couple Died In Each Others’ Arms Hours Apart



old-couple-dies-together-75-years-marriage-jeanette-alexander-toczko-6.jpg



Read more at: https://www.boredpanda.com/old-coup...oogle&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[h=1]Elderly couple married for 62 years die together while holding hands[/h]'Their love was a testimony to many, and was surely a match made in Heaven'

Read more at: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/...ledbetter-lake-jackson-restwood-a7725876.html
 
Last edited by a moderator:
OP
OP
V
When i was talking to an old widow and old widower (of course i am also a senior citizen),both expressed their problems of living alone. Hence i posed this question to this august forum .But can the couple go together from this world. It is possible due to divinely intervention only.But it is very rare. When i was in my trainining college one old professor used to tell in the class that one must train his wife to be a successful widow.So it is a common belief and notion that in old age, husband will precede wife from this material world. But actually the best solution is to give the old widower or widow , a real bond of love by young children . In the present day the educated son and daughter inlaw is leaving them in old age home and the son naming the newhouse he acquired as ANNAI ILLAM.
But it turnsout there is some actual science behind this phenomenon. It is a thing called broken heart syndrome , believed to occur when some one loses a close partner or spouse
So may i request younger generation
1 once you see them, give a hug to comfort them and to re assure them
2. Contact them by phone frequently
3. Avoid saying un helpful comments
4.comfort the person with supportive comments
5.Spend time and allow your children to interact with them
Young chidren, do not forget they too become old etc etc one day
 
S

swathi25

Guest
hi

generally women prefer SUMANGALI death in hindu tradition....not anymore...lol



It was on earlier years, when widows are considered as ‘inauspicious’ according to Hindu tradition, they were made to look ugly by wearing white saree. She is not allowed to adorn red bindi, not allowed to keep jasmine flowers in her hair and some had their head tonsured. They were excluded in all celebrations and ceremonies. In such a painful situation, who will like to live as a widow??

So, the better option is SUMANGALI.

Thanks god, nowadays they have broken such traditions.
 

tbs

0
It was on earlier years, when widows are considered as ‘inauspicious’ according to Hindu tradition, they were made to look ugly by wearing white saree. She is not allowed to adorn red bindi, not allowed to keep jasmine flowers in her hair and some had their head tonsured. They were excluded in all celebrations and ceremonies. In such a painful situation, who will like to live as a widow??

So, the better option is SUMANGALI.

Thanks god, nowadays they have broken such traditions.
hi

just info.....my mother was widow for more than 50 yrs......a successful widow in her life....she widowed within five years

of marriage life.....she sacrifised her life for two children....im the eldest.....so woman can success....but male widower

has hard time...
 
S

swathi25

Guest
hi

just info.....my mother was widow for more than 50 yrs......a successful widow in her life....she widowed within five years

of marriage life.....she sacrifised her life for two children....im the eldest.....so woman can success....but male widower

has hard time...


Agreed sir


They may be successful in bring up their children, but the agony, sorrow, humiliation, etc they had experienced so far and to encounter during the rest of their life as a widow is inexplicable.

They are made to suffer for no fault of theirs.

They are blamed as harbingers of bad luck.

The widow of the family will be blamed as the only reason for all the failures the family encounters.

Of course, nowadays, the orthodoxy of sticking to such traditions has to some extent loosened its grip and widows are bold and started to break the traditions. They are permitted to retain their hair and most are exempted from dress code. We don't come across widows with shaven head and wearing a dull red saree.

They do lead a successful life in the midst of this patriarchal society.

We may write and talk more about women empowerment.

But there remains much to be done on this.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

KRN

Active member
In the present world, after retirement, after doing so called responsibilities such as children marriage and all, assuming no other commitments who die first husband or wife

if it is after retirement, then the death of either one of the couple could be quite painful. However it would need to be anticipated and prepared for. The children will need to take up the responsibility of reducing the pain and loneliness of the surviving parent. If they cannot do at least that, then do they deserve to be called children?
 

Raji Ram

Active member
if it is after retirement, then the death of either one of the couple could be quite painful. However it would need to be anticipated and prepared for. The children will need to take up the responsibility of reducing the pain and loneliness of the surviving parent. If they cannot do at least that, then do they deserve to be called children?
Only when the couple are senior citizens?

I don't think so, Sir!

Untimely death of the spouse will surely be more painful. :sad:
 

KRN

Active member
Only when the couple are senior citizens?

I don't think so, Sir!

Untimely death of the spouse will surely be more painful. :sad:

Sure it will be. But at a young age, there will be a better chance of a remarriage and living a new life.
 

prasad1

Active member
For social consideration, it might be a pertinent question.
From a Moral point of view, it is not a question that should be asked.
We are born and everything that is born must die. Krishna says:

"Even as a man casts off worn-out clothes and puts on others which are fresh, so the atma casts off bodies and enters into others which are new. Bodies are born, and what is born must die. But the eternal atma is never born. It never dies. Weapons cannot cut it, fire cannot burn it, water cannot wet it and wind cannot dry it.


Secondly, the timing of death is determined by your past Karmas.

Thirdly the society is changing, widows have rights. They are smart and some of them can take care of themselves.

So the answer is a moving target.
 
OP
OP
V
In this fast forwarding world, who ever goes first it is nothing but misery for a few days in some cases , few months in some other cases.But widows somehow manages themselves compared to widowers
 

Raji Ram

Active member
Hmmm. Only after going through all posts by the OP of this thread,

I found out that this member is 'Sir' and not 'Ma'am' !!
icon12.png
 

Raji Ram

Active member
Brothers won't be of any help, says this song, which came long long ago! :sad:

[video=youtube_share;pvp4dwUeUy0]https://youtu.be/pvp4dwUeUy0[/video]
 
OP
OP
V
Whether Sir or ma'am, I am a human being on the thereshold of exit gate after undergoing the vagaries of life with the same status partner
 
Top
Thank you for visiting TamilBrahmins.com

You seem to have an Ad Blocker on.

We depend on advertising to keep our content free for you. Please consider whitelisting us in your ad blocker so that we can continue to provide the content you have come here to enjoy.

Alternatively, consider upgrading your account to enjoy an ad-free experience along with numerous other benefits. To upgrade your account, please visit the account upgrades page

You can also donate financially if you can. Please Click Here on how you can do that.

I've Disabled AdBlock    No Thanks