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How to raise a child the brahmana way?

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Hello everyone,

I accidentally stumbled upon this website and have found it very interesting. Not only does it have scholarly individuals, but is also populated by a good cross section of the demographic that constitutes Tamizh brahmins today.

I kindly request all to please try and look at my queries with an open mind.

Here is the context:
1. I'm not a Brahmanan. Born Tamizh-Indian, brought up in Chennai for 25 years of my life, I'm a hindu who is not a citizen of India anymore. But as they say, you can take an Indian out of India, but not the India out of an Indian. Also, I would consider myself a highly productive and contributing citizen of this world.
2. My wife (from an arranged marriage) is 1/4th a brahmin and her mother is 1/2 a brahmin.
3. I'm very fascinated with Brahmana way and have very little resources to learn about it. Unfortunately or fortunately, my wife doesn't seem to know anything about this way of life.
4. I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter whom I wish to raise as a compassionate, loving, educated and intelligent human being.
5. My views on God do not intermingle with my views on religion or caste. I'm far from being agnostic or atheistic.

What I want are the following:
1. My overarching goal is to raise my daughter in the brahmana way, if I can, so that it will help achieve my goals for bringing her up.
2. I would love to obtain ways and means to implement this from those who know.
3. I'm willing to follow 'Sashtrams' and 'Sampardayams' if it doesn't conflict with my beliefs (which are my own and are open to mending if required).
4. I would certainly love to hear about platonic implications of being an ideal brahman, but would much prefer knowing about how to implement them on a day to day basis.
5. Please recommend any books/extracts/transcripts that I could read to achieve this goal. Kindly note that I'm very time poor and would like the essence presented to me, but am also willing to read through large volumes of text if there are no other ways.
6. I hope this post serves to invigorate others who are searching for this information.

I hope to bring a productive 'non-brahmin' point of view to topics in discussion.

PS: I do understand the meaning of "N
ahi nahi rakshati dukrinjn karane"
 
Dear Bhajagovindam,

You have presented your request in a nice way. You are already a satvic individual. You remain this as long as you can and bring up your child in this frame and you need not worry about anything else. Please do not allow the rajasic individual in you to intervene too much as has happened in the last two lines of your post. Wish you all the best in your endeavor.

Cheers.
 
If you continue to be what you are already is just more than enough. Just allow yourself and your family to be closely associated with another family which appears to be Brahmin in nature and behaviour. They,Brahmins, are not heavenly sent people. The mere association can draw you closer or distance you far. All the best for a happy living.
 
The core characteristics of a real Brahman (a knowledge provider to society) is being satvic. There are several customs and procedures that go into developing that nature. Here I highlight some.

1. Spending time with one's own self, daily..
Lighting up a lamp after taking bath every day, making it an occasion to mutter some prayers or slokas. Or spend time in decorating idols or doing a small pooja daily etc.., which are all means of spending that time with one's own self.. Spending time daily with one's own self, brings up the satvic nature..

2. Learn some arts (music, dance, painting etc) that brings out the nice sensibilities of a person to fore-front. This also helps in shaping the satvic characteristics in a person..

3. Perform poojas like Varalakshmi pooja, Karadaiyan Nonbu, Garuda panchami etc, again which all go into spending time spiritually for the benefit of others (husbands, brothers, family members). These festivals make people learn the importance of family, relationships and sacrifice thereby bringing up a perspective that is higher than self-centric nature. Rising above self-centric nature is an important aspect of being satvic.

4. Be a vegetarian and tee-totaller. These help in bringing up the satvic nature of people. (But that does not mean all vegetarians and tee-totallers are satvik. Being vegetarian and and tee-totaller helps, but does not guarantee).

Not all girls of TamBrahm caste today are in anyway satvic. There are so many girls of different castes and religions and nationalities who do not follow these and are satvic. So the above is just a guideline.. There are so many ways and reasons why a person grows up satvic..

From some dimensions, ur question itself is laughable and ridiculous and hence the above answers too are...

-TBT
 
i have become a 1/4 brahmin after reading this post. i was 1 brahmin at birth. hahaha
 
The core characteristics of a real Brahman (a knowledge provider to society) is being satvic. There are several customs and procedures that go into developing that nature. Here I highlight some.

1. Spending time with one's own self, daily..
Lighting up a lamp after taking bath every day, making it an occasion to mutter some prayers or slokas. Or spend time in decorating idols or doing a small pooja daily etc.., which are all means of spending that time with one's own self.. Spending time daily with one's own self, brings up the satvic nature..

2. Learn some arts (music, dance, painting etc) that brings out the nice sensibilities of a person to fore-front. This also helps in shaping the satvic characteristics in a person..

3. Perform poojas like Varalakshmi pooja, Karadaiyan Nonbu, Garuda panchami etc, again which all go into spending time spiritually for the benefit of others (husbands, brothers, family members). These festivals make people learn the importance of family, relationships and sacrifice thereby bringing up a perspective that is higher than self-centric nature. Rising above self-centric nature is an important aspect of being satvic.

4. Be a vegetarian and tee-totaller. These help in bringing up the satvic nature of people. (But that does not mean all vegetarians and tee-totallers are satvik. Being vegetarian and and tee-totaller helps, but does not guarantee).

Not all girls of TamBrahm caste today are in anyway satvic. There are so many girls of different castes and religions and nationalities who do not follow these and are satvic. So the above is just a guideline.. There are so many ways and reasons why a person grows up satvic..

From some dimensions, ur question itself is laughable and ridiculous and hence the above answers too are...

-TBT

Dear Sir,

I do not find the questions of the OP as laughable..he asked what came to his mind.

In fact I find your post laughable cos you just described Sattva Guna and at the end of your post you laugh at someone's post..not Sattva I feel.
 
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[h=2]How to raise a child the brahmana way? [/h]

If you follow Steven Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and also teach your children the same , they will lead a more effective life .
 
i have become a 1/4 brahmin after reading this post. i was 1 brahmin at birth. hahaha

Can you explain what is Brahmin way?
A universally accepted Brahmin way at that.
Please do not quote your ideal way as the accepted norm.
 
Dear Sir,

I do not find the questions of the OP as laughable..he asked what came to his mind.

In fact I find your post laughable cos you just described Sattva Guna and at the end of your post you laugh at someone's post..not Sattva I feel.
An accurate analysis, a satvic reply.
 
Dear Bhajagovindam,

I am an old Brahmin with agnostic pov but in this post this aspect will not be relevant, anyway.

I suspect that some of my fellow members have already started getting doubts after reading your line, "I hope to bring a productive 'non-brahmin' point of view to topics in discussion." :) I do not personally mind if you do so.


  1. The only characteristic which one may call as "Brahminic" in today's brahmin girls is, imho, vegetarian habit - at least at home. Our brahmin veg allows milk and milk products freely so there is no need to curtail on that. Cheese (paneer) has also become very common even in orthodox tabra homes, so you can allow your daughter to use cheese also.
  2. Carnatic music and, if possible, bharatanatyam are a must for a tabra girl. Teach her these two. She should be able to identify M.S. Subbulakshmi's various recordings; the more the better, but minimum is Venkateshvara suprabhatam, thiruppavai and a few slokams.
  3. Brahmin girls get to know the brahmin brand of Tamil naturally. If it is possible for you, make it a point that your daughter gets as many tabra kids as her friends/playmates and in this young age she will pick up the brahmin Tamil effortlessly.

Then she will grow up as a full (100%) brahmin girl.
 
An accurate analysis, a satvic reply.


To Prasad and Renuka

Read post carefully. I wrote 'For some dimensions'..

Yes, in some dimensions it is laughable and ridiculous.. IN some dimensions it is not and for those I gave some practical suggestions..

Laughing at the question may or may not belong to satva guna. It depends on ur maturity and wisdom

-TBT
 
laughing at our own comment is a very mature way of dealing things. i am not going to google SATVIC/BRAHMANA now. the opening post is by a god fearing person, who after skimming thru the ocean of scriptual procedures and religious practices, thought of a better way of finding an accurate answer to his present life situation. Most replies are well balanced.
 
Dear Bhajagovindam,

your interest in Brahmin religious traditions, culture & way of life is refreshing given all the anti brahmin rhetoric!. In my view, there is no exclusivity, all communities can learn & practice them.

There is a wealth of information in our Vedic literature & everyone can gain from it. I would suggest you to start learning the Sanskrrit Slokams, pujas, the traditions & customs, daily rituals, Carnatic Music, Bharatanatyam. & if you keen to engage at a spirituality level, you can start reading the Vedas, Upanishads & Vedantas.


Cheers,
JK
 
Dear Sir,Your anxiety to bring your daughter in a brahmana way is a nice thing. The first step in achieveing this depends on how much you parents adopt to brahmana way of living. Since you have the will you will find lot of ways. The learned scholars members have suggested lot of ways and means. Explore....
 
Thank you for the kind words Raju! My three gunas constantly contend with each other to come to the fore, one over the other. Though not always aware of this conflict, I'll try and reign it in whenever I can.

Dear Bhajagovindam,

You have presented your request in a nice way. You are already a satvic individual. You remain this as long as you can and bring up your child in this frame and you need not worry about anything else. Please do not allow the rajasic individual in you to intervene too much as has happened in the last two lines of your post. Wish you all the best in your endeavor.

Cheers.
 
I tend to associate my family with those exhibiting qualities that I would like to see in ourselves so that their qualities rub off onto mine. Although, I do not view the brahmana caste as higher or lower to any others, I do find their adherence to traditions and guidelines for living to be based on science although steeped in religion. Hence my request for advice. Thanks to you too for your kindness and blessings. Much appreciated!

If you continue to be what you are already is just more than enough. Just allow yourself and your family to be closely associated with another family which appears to be Brahmin in nature and behaviour. They,Brahmins, are not heavenly sent people. The mere association can draw you closer or distance you far. All the best for a happy living.
 
I'll come to the laughing matter, later. But many thanks for posting practicable steps! This is the sort of guidance I'm after. I do get my daughter to take time praying to god whenever I have the opportunity. And she does it in an adorable enough manner for me to just stand there and watch. I admit that I have to teach her some routines in pooja, but it is like watching Kannappa nayanar pray to the lord Shiva.... All innocence and bhakti!

I certainly intend to teach her classical singing and my wife who is an accomplished dancer in Bharathanatyam is keen to pass on her skills as well.

We are a family of tee-totallers, so that will be easily inculcated in the child. Being vegetarian is something we constantly work towards and hope to achieve sometime in the future. Living in the western world makes it harder than usual.

Now, anyone can play devil's advocate in discussing a topic, so, I too see the inherent silliness of my questions. But one of the best lessons I have learnt in life is that there are no silly questions. Only silly people :) All questions must be asked to dispel the darkness of ignorance.

Thank you wise soul for the replies! I greatly appreciate your post!!

The core characteristics of a real Brahman (a knowledge provider to society) is being satvic. There are several customs and procedures that go into developing that nature. Here I highlight some.

1. Spending time with one's own self, daily..
Lighting up a lamp after taking bath every day, making it an occasion to mutter some prayers or slokas. Or spend time in decorating idols or doing a small pooja daily etc.., which are all means of spending that time with one's own self.. Spending time daily with one's own self, brings up the satvic nature..

2. Learn some arts (music, dance, painting etc) that brings out the nice sensibilities of a person to fore-front. This also helps in shaping the satvic characteristics in a person..

3. Perform poojas like Varalakshmi pooja, Karadaiyan Nonbu, Garuda panchami etc, again which all go into spending time spiritually for the benefit of others (husbands, brothers, family members). These festivals make people learn the importance of family, relationships and sacrifice thereby bringing up a perspective that is higher than self-centric nature. Rising above self-centric nature is an important aspect of being satvic.

4. Be a vegetarian and tee-totaller. These help in bringing up the satvic nature of people. (But that does not mean all vegetarians and tee-totallers are satvik. Being vegetarian and and tee-totaller helps, but does not guarantee).

Not all girls of TamBrahm caste today are in anyway satvic. There are so many girls of different castes and religions and nationalities who do not follow these and are satvic. So the above is just a guideline.. There are so many ways and reasons why a person grows up satvic..

From some dimensions, ur question itself is laughable and ridiculous and hence the above answers too are...

-TBT
 
Dear Sir,

I do not find the questions of the OP as laughable..he asked what came to his mind.

In fact I find your post laughable cos you just described Sattva Guna and at the end of your post you laugh at someone's post..not Sattva I feel.

Dear Renuka,

I'm extremely grateful for you standing up for this poster raising 'laughable' questions :) Having said, I hold no grudge against TBT either, for expressing his views without hiding :)

Thank you kindly!
 
To Prasad and Renuka

Read post carefully. I wrote 'For some dimensions'..

Yes, in some dimensions it is laughable and ridiculous.. IN some dimensions it is not and for those I gave some practical suggestions..

Laughing at the question may or may not belong to satva guna. It depends on ur maturity and wisdom

-TBT

Dear Sir,

"Ridiculous" is considered an insult..as far as I know Sattva Guna does not condone insulting others.

What I am surprised is..in all your other posts you are preaching Sattva Guna in mega serial stories:

1)Thou shall not drink alcohol

2)Thou shall not smoke

3)Thou shall not eat non veg

4)Thou shall not spend too much on fire crackers

5)Thou shall not look at another woman even though hormones are raging inside

6)Thou shall have arranged marriage.



But when someone asks a question where he feels that Brahmin culture is something he wants to follow..in fact the person is giving you a compliment for actually wanting to follow your tradition all you tell him is "For some dimensions'..
Yes, in some dimensions it is laughable and ridiculous.."


LOL! Ha Ha Ha...now I really feel like laughing at you.!


P.S..I am just a normal human who has all Gunas in me in varying proportions..so I am entitled to laugh at some posts here.
 
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Hahahaha, Mr. Sangom jee (as many people refer to you this way and it shows my respect for you as well - I hope to address you and many others this way),

People can doubt my 'non-brahmin' point of view. It is what people do. I am what I am, and I do not hold any pretensions of knowing
much about the brahmin way of life. Hence I'll reiterate that I will bring my PoV to the table, albeit with utmost care to not hurt anyone's sentiments and sensibilities.

ANDDDD... thanks for the three pointers! My daughter subsists mostly on a diet that revolves around milk... she is a great lover of all things 'thayir'... we can get her to eat most things if it has yoghurt in it :) This is rubbing off on me as well... I do not have to state the great many benefits milk, curd and yoghurt bring to human health... so I'm very glad to hear you say that!

I'm a huge fan of the legendary MS myself and as is obvious, her rendition of 'Bhaja govindam' is my all time favourite! I'll try to inculcate the habit of waking my daughter up with Venkatesa suprabatham and Kasi Vishwanatha suprabatham by MS. I enjoy these enormously myself.

As stated earlier, we are working on classical singing and dancing, at its very early stages and hope to make that a big part of her upbringing.

Now the last of your points is a big issue here. I know of two brahmin families that we closely associate with and neither of them speak the 'hallmark' brahmana tamil at home or outside... I'll have to find a way to get that out :)

Thanks again for your kind words and sharing your thoughts!



Dear Bhajagovindam,

I am an old Brahmin with agnostic pov but in this post this aspect will not be relevant, anyway.

I suspect that some of my fellow members have already started getting doubts after reading your line, "I hope to bring a productive 'non-brahmin' point of view to topics in discussion." :) I do not personally mind if you do so.


  1. The only characteristic which one may call as "Brahminic" in today's brahmin girls is, imho, vegetarian habit - at least at home. Our brahmin veg allows milk and milk products freely so there is no need to curtail on that. Cheese (paneer) has also become very common even in orthodox tabra homes, so you can allow your daughter to use cheese also.
  2. Carnatic music and, if possible, bharatanatyam are a must for a tabra girl. Teach her these two. She should be able to identify M.S. Subbulakshmi's various recordings; the more the better, but minimum is Venkateshvara suprabhatam, thiruppavai and a few slokams.
  3. Brahmin girls get to know the brahmin brand of Tamil naturally. If it is possible for you, make it a point that your daughter gets as many tabra kids as her friends/playmates and in this young age she will pick up the brahmin Tamil effortlessly.

Then she will grow up as a full (100%) brahmin girl.
 
Dear Bhajogovindam Ji,

I feel as long you follow basic Hindu traditions..life should be fine.

I feel most Hindus in India basically are almost the same in their general lifestyle.

I am no Brahmin but for a start may be you could try this:

1)Take interest to learn Sanskrit..sign up for self study through Samskrita Bharati Chennai..get their books and read it and also order books from Rashtriya Sanskrit Sansthan New Delhi for self study.

2)Get a teacher to teach your daughter Sanskrit.
Don't let her miss out this chance.
Knowledge in Sanskrit is not a must to know God but it does let us enjoy the beauty of the Religion better.

3)Make your daughter a vegetarian...explain to her that being veg is becos we love animals and do not want to hurt them.

4)Let her join some Bal Vikas classes or any religious classes.

5)Let her learn music both Carnatic and Western,..good for future.
Western music is fun too.

6)Also teach her human values..that we should Love Ever and Hurt Never.


There is a saying in Sanskrit that goes:

I will summarize in half a stanza what countless religious text preach,
Helping others brings Punya and Harming others brings Papam.


So teach her to be a good kind loving human...that is the first step to being a cultured person.

Last but not the least..keep eyes open to learn from other races of the world too.

Other races from other countries too have good habits for us to emulate.
 
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Thank you kindly Jaykay!

The anti-brahmin rhetoric that seems so fashionable to wear these days comes from people who paint and generalize entire communities for their personal petty satisfaction and profit. Politicians who stir the pot amongst the masses to gain votes and self proclaimed 'activists' who simply are empty vessels. As long as people do not follow the adage of "Kan'nal kaanbathum poi, kathal ketpathum poi, theera visarithu mudiveduppathe mei", there will be such ignorance parading around.

I hope not to follow the sheep and hope to carry out my own learning to benefit from some of the best preserved knowledge mankind seems to want to forget.

I will try to get some audio books to aid in my learning the Vedas and associated text. Thanks for the warm welcome :)

Dear Bhajagovindam,

your interest in Brahmin religious traditions, culture & way of life is refreshing given all the anti brahmin rhetoric!. In my view, there is no exclusivity, all communities can learn & practice them.

There is a wealth of information in our Vedic literature & everyone can gain from it. I would suggest you to start learning the Sanskrrit Slokams, pujas, the traditions & customs, daily rituals, Carnatic Music, Bharatanatyam. & if you keen to engage at a spirituality level, you can start reading the Vedas, Upanishads & Vedantas.


Cheers,
JK
 
Thanks a lot again Ms. Renuka ji,

Your words are steeped in worldly wisdom and common sense. As I have stated elsewhere, I do not live in Chennai anymore to avail many of these privileges, yet I'll try to achieve the final outcomes somehow.

At home and at her school, the importance of love and kindness to other creatures is being taught in more ways than one. I believe if everyone in world keeps this on top of their thoughts, there will be a whole lot less suffering and prejudice.

You are true to state that most hindus aspire to a similar lifestyle but I do appreciate how much of the 'old' knowledge is preserved in the brahmin culture more than the others. To read a vedic book will leave a very different impression on my mind than hearing from those who practice the prescribed morals on a daily basis. Hence my questions on this forum.

To make a light hearted analogy, its like reading the 'Lord of the rings' trilogy and then going to watch it in iMax :)

I hope that all these discussions assist people like myself who are explorers of our traditions that are usually veiled in the mists of time. Yet practiced by a few....

Dear Bhajogovindam Ji,

I feel as long you follow basic Hindu traditions..life should be fine.

I feel most Hindus in India basically are almost the same in their general lifestyle.

I am no Brahmin but for a start may be you could try this:

1)Take interest to learn Sanskrit..sign up for self study through Samskrita Bharati Chennai..get their books and read it and also order books from Rashtriya Sanskrit Sansthan New Delhi for self study.

2)Get a teacher to teach your daughter Sanskrit.
Don't let her miss out this chance.
Knowledge in Sanskrit is not a must to know God but it does let us enjoy the beauty of the Religion better.

3)Make your daughter a vegetarian...explain to her that being veg is becos we love animals and do not want to hurt them.

4)Let her join some Bal Vikas classes or any religious classes.

5)Let her learn music both Carnatic and Western,..good for future.
Western music is fun too.

6)Also teach her human values..that we should Love Ever and Hurt Never.


There is a saying in Sanskrit that goes:

I will summarize in half a stanza what countless religious text preach,
Helping others brings Punya and Harming others brings Papam.


So teach her to be a good kind loving human...that is the first step to being a cultured person.

Last but not the least..keep eyes open to learn from other races of the world too.

Other races from other countries too have good habits for us to emulate.
 
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