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Divorce rearing its ugly head among Tambrahms

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Can someone please explain how and why the other thread, i.e. "Divorce is NOT ugly" in the General Discussions section is missing and cannot be accessed over the last couple of days?

Sending messages to the "administrator" has drawn no response. Same with message to "praveen".

S Narayanaswamy Iyer
 
S Narayanaswamy Iyer said:
Can someone please explain how and why the other thread, i.e. "Divorce is NOT ugly" in the General Discussions section is missing and cannot be accessed over the last couple of days?

Sending messages to the "administrator" has drawn no response. Same with message to "praveen".


S Narayanaswamy Iyer
Click to expand...


Is this part of this thread? If not :focus:

If you have an issue with Praveen, please take it up with him on PM.
I am reporting this post to him.
 
2025 AD.

பையனின் பெற்றோர் பெண்ணின் பெற்றோரை வீட்டில் வந்து பார்க்கின்றனர்.

பை.பெ.: "இந்தாங்க பையனோட போட்டோ.....நீங்க கேட்ட மாதிரி வெறும் ஜட்டி மட்டும் போட்டு ஃபுல் உடம்பு நல்லா தெரியறமாதிரி.. இது மெடிக்கல் சர்டிபிகேட். complete medical check-up, AIDS, Diabetes, Fertility test, sperm count எல்லாமும் இருக்கு. No alcoholic tendency ங்கற சர்டிபிகேட்டும் இருக்கு. அப்புறம் அவனோட resume, last 6 years IT return acknowledged copy, Bank statements, credit card statements எல்லாமும் இருக்கு. நாங்க அவன் மேல டிபெண்டன்ட் இல்லைன்னு ப்ரூவ் பண்ணறதுக்கு என்னோட பெர்சனல் balance sheet, assets details எல்லாமும் இருக்கு.

பெ. பெ. ; " சரி நாங்க இதெல்லாத்தையும் செக் பண்ணிட்டு உங்களுக்கு ரெண்டு மாசத்துல மெயில் அனுப்பறோம். அப்புறம் பையனுக்கு இன்டர்வியூ வெச்சுக்கலாம் .... முதல் ரவுண்ட் நாங்க பண்ணுவோம். ரெண்டாவது ரௌண்ட் பெண்ணோட ஃப்ரெண்ட்ஸ் பண்ணுவாங்க. கடைசியா பொண்ணு பண்ணுவா. எல்லாம் நல்லபடியானா அப்புறம் மேரேஜ் தான்.

சார் தயவுசெய்து ஃப்ரெண்ட்ஸ் ரௌண்ட் ல ரொம்ப கலாய்க்காம பார்த்துக்குங்க. பையன் கொஞ்சம் கூச்ச சுபாவம்.

அத பார்த்துக்கலாம். அப்புறம் மாரேஜ் காண்ட்ராக்ட் அக்ரிமென்ட் எல்லாம் தெரியும்லியா agreement to marry, Marriage deed and Pre-divorce agreement....

pre divorce agrreement ஆ? அது எதுக்குங்க?

பெ.பெ.: அட டிவொர்ஸ் ஆகும் போது லீகலா சண்டை போட்டு டயம் வேஸ்ட் பண்ணவேண்டாமேன்னு தான். அப்புறம் financial terms தெரியும்லியோ?

எங்களுக்கு செலவுக்கு 1 கோடி குடுத்துடணும். of course மாரேஜ் மொத்த செலவு பொறுப்பு உங்களுது. கல்யாணம் ஆன உடனே பையன் 5 கோடி FD ல போட்டு வர monthly வட்டில பாதி பொண் அக்கவுண்டுக்குபோகணும்.பாதி எங்க அக்கவுண்டுக்கு வந்துடணும்.

உங்க அக்கவுண்டுக்கா ? அது ஏனுங்க? உங்க பொண்னுட்டயிருந்து நீங்களே வாங்கிக்குங்க.

சார் நாங்க யாருகிட்டயும் போய் நிக்கமாட்டோம். பொண்ணை பெத்தவங்க சார் நாங்க.....................

இதென்ன கற்பனை என்று சிண்டை பிய்த்துக்கொள்ள வேண்டாம்.

News item in The Times of India:

Against 5.63 men in their 20s there are only 2.07 crore women indicating a gap of 3.55. crores would be brides. Put together there are only 2.38 crore brides for 6.5 crore grooms.In other words three out of five men of marriageable age will eventually not find a bride. Therefore a forced brahmacharya is the only option most men will have This conclusion has been derived from census data on marital status of Indian population released recently.

(As received)
 
Last edited:
Vaagmi said:
2025 AD.

பையனின் பெற்றோர் பெண்ணின் பெற்றோரை வீட்டில் வந்து பார்க்கின்றனர்.

பை.பெ.: "இந்தாங்க பையனோட போட்டோ.....நீங்க கேட்ட மாதிரி வெறும் ஜட்டி மட்டும் போட்டு ஃபுல் உடம்பு நல்லா தெரியறமாதிரி.. இது மெடிக்கல் சர்டிபிகேட். complete medical check-up, AIDS, Diabetes, Fertility test, sperm count எல்லாமும் இருக்கு. No alcoholic tendency ங்கற சர்டிபிகேட்டும் இருக்கு. அப்புறம் அவனோட resume, last 6 years IT return acknowledged copy, Bank statements, credit card statements எல்லாமும் இருக்கு. நாங்க அவன் மேல டிபெண்டன்ட் இல்லைன்னு ப்ரூவ் பண்ணறதுக்கு என்னோட பெர்சனல் balance sheet, assets details எல்லாமும் இருக்கு.

பெ. பெ. ; " சரி நாங்க இதெல்லாத்தையும் செக் பண்ணிட்டு உங்களுக்கு ரெண்டு மாசத்துல மெயில் அனுப்பறோம். அப்புறம் பையனுக்கு இன்டர்வியூ வெச்சுக்கலாம் .... முதல் ரவுண்ட் நாங்க பண்ணுவோம். ரெண்டாவது ரௌண்ட் பெண்ணோட ஃப்ரெண்ட்ஸ் பண்ணுவாங்க. கடைசியா பொண்ணு பண்ணுவா. எல்லாம் நல்லபடியானா அப்புறம் மேரேஜ் தான்.

சார் தயவுசெய்து ஃப்ரெண்ட்ஸ் ரௌண்ட் ல ரொம்ப கலாய்க்காம பார்த்துக்குங்க. பையன் கொஞ்சம் கூச்ச சுபாவம்.

அத பார்த்துக்கலாம். அப்புறம் மாரேஜ் காண்ட்ராக்ட் அக்ரிமென்ட் எல்லாம் தெரியும்லியா agreement to marry, Marriage deed and Pre-divorce agreement....

pre divorce agrreement ஆ? அது எதுக்குங்க?

பெ.பெ.: அட டிவொர்ஸ் ஆகும் போது லீகலா சண்டை போட்டு டயம் வேஸ்ட் பண்ணவேண்டாமேன்னு தான். அப்புறம் financial terms தெரியும்லியோ?

எங்களுக்கு செலவுக்கு 1 கோடி குடுத்துடணும். of course மாரேஜ் மொத்த செலவு பொறுப்பு உங்களுது. கல்யாணம் ஆன உடனே பையன் 5 கோடி FD ல போட்டு வர monthly வட்டில பாதி பொண் அக்கவுண்டுக்குபோகணும்.பாதி எங்க அக்கவுண்டுக்கு வந்துடணும்.

உங்க அக்கவுண்டுக்கா ? அது ஏனுங்க? உங்க பொண்னுட்டயிருந்து நீங்களே வாங்கிக்குங்க.

சார் நாங்க யாருகிட்டயும் போய் நிக்கமாட்டோம். பொண்ணை பெத்தவங்க சார் நாங்க.....................

இதென்ன கற்பனை என்று சிண்டை பிய்த்துக்கொள்ள வேண்டாம்.

News item in The Times of India:

Against 5.63 men in their 20s there are only 2.07 crore women indicating a gap of 3.55. crores would be brides. Put together there are only 2.38 crore brides for 6.5 crore grooms.In other words three out of five men of marriageable age will eventually not find a bride. Therefore a forced brahmacharya is the only option most men will have This conclusion has been derived from census data on marital status of Indian population released recently.

(As received)
Click to expand...

If there are not enough girls in India may be they should look at other countries (not saying anything about TB here). May GOI should enact laws to punish those that are aborting female fetus. Also create opportunities to enable Indians to marry from other countries.
 
This skewed sex ratio does not pertain to brahmin community.

Brshmins generally do not destroy female foetuses.

They only discriminate against the girl child .


Not that this is desirable.

The girls to escape the atrocious rules laid down by the patriarchal order find refuge in other caste boys who are readily marrying them . They are treated with more respect

and are cherished in their matrimonial homes.

Our brahmin ambis do not know the meaning of gender equality and gender justice.

Thats the basic issue of brahmin girls
 
The (Braahmana) girls to escape the atrocious rules laid down by the patriarchal order find refuge in other caste boys who are readily marrying them . They are treated with more respect and are cherished in their matrimonial homes.

Dear all-knowing Krish44, Sir!

Really? You speak from your vast life-long experience as a practising divorce and family lawyer?

Please say how many cases you know where the Dalit mother-in-law treated the Braahmana daughters-in-law worse than dirt, arising out of latters' inability to cook beef, mutton, pork, seafood, chicken? And husband brought in from outside his own meaty food for his mother, father, brothers and himself, which the wife refused to share?

S Narayanaswamy Iyer
Please say how many cases you know where the Dalit mother-in-law treated the Braahmana daughters-in-law worse than dirt, arising out of the latters' inability to feed and bring up the children as littlle Dalits?

Please say how many cases you know where the Dalit mother-in-law treated the Braahmana daughters-in-law worse than dirt, arising out of the latters' inability to mix and merge easily and smoothly with the former's intimate friends and community and arising out of the latter being introduced repeatedly as "aiyyar ponnu"? And treated as a prized thoroughbred cow, not a human being? Husband standing by, beaming, insensitive to theimpending brfeak-up of the marriage?
 
A brahmin girl marying a NB does not mean marrying a dalit.

Mostly they marry their class mates or colleagues from well off families whose caste is closer to brahmin caste.Most of them are intermediate socially mobile caste, fairly

wealthy and ready to sacrifice to marry these girls. One financed her foreign post graduate education and she settled abroad with him. Another married a NB colleague from

office with caste close hers. She did not have to pay any dowry and married at registrars office.Her children are post graduates from US and they are doing well.One

working girl married a christian boy but a practising hindu. Hid daughter has again married a tamil brahmin.. Another married a muslim her school mate and settled in

Canada- a multi millionaire.Food is a minor issue. All of them have remained vegetarian.The ones I know have done pretty well. In fact they are better off than many

married to brahmin husbands.
 
Fine. But please do not exaggerate, Sri Krish44. You have mentioned four cases to your knowledge. Please let me quote four other cases, in all of which Brahmana girls married or dallied with Dalits.

In one case, the girl's elder sister in Khar, Bombay, was carrying on with a Nair man. Both were working in Air India. The younger sister mentioned this casually to a car mechanic, a Dalit who was servicing her father's car. Finding hm attrractive, she married him and moved out. Her Dalit mother-in-law made life hell. Husband was only interested in sex with a Braahmana girl, and boasted about this to his colleagues. They had two children in quick succession, after which he abandoned her. The wife left the children with fhe Dalit mother-in-law, and joined her sister in Toronto who had by that time married a Brahmin boy.

In another case, the girl from Maanaamadurai who was the eldest of ten children of a temple priest, could not stand the over-crowding and quarrelling at home. She fled with her Dalit "padre" lover, married him in church. Again, after two childbirths, she found life with her mother-in-law worse than with nine siblings at her parents' home. She committed suicide. Widower husband refused her a Christian burial. She was buried in a pauper's grave.

In the third case, in Kerala, the Brahmin rubber-estate owner's daughter was entranced by the handsome and muscular Dalit boy who came to bring the latex to the factory. The romance was secret till she became pregnant. Boy took her to his mother's home and hired an abortionist. Both the girl and her child died at the hands of the abortionist.

In the fourth case, when on an ocean cruise to Alaska from Seattle, my wife and I met a wonderful young couple who we thought were on their honeymoon. The man, who spoke excellent Malayalam and English, explained that he was a "cheruman" (Dalit) and the girl was an Iyengaar. They were sharing a cabin. Both were studying in a University in mid-US on their respective parents' scholarships. We later came to know that after she became pregnant the man left for a white woman. She got an abortion, and returned to Kerala, a broken woman without prospects, her studies having been truncated.

S Narayanaswamy Iyer
 
Dalits practise "love jihad"? This is refreshingly new! More details, please, Sri Biswa, Veteran. Do Christians today also practise the same jihad (or is it crusade)?

S Narayanaswamy Iyer
 
Brahmins have pre conceived notion that those belonging to all other castes or religions are not marriage material and brahmin girls should shun them and marry only

brahmin boys who are incapable of knowing what is gender equality and justice.They ill treat their educated wives and try to domesticate them making them follow outdated

rituals and rules.If they want good food only from their wives , why should they not hire a cook or marry one from other communities?. Most brahmin girls like to escape

from a paternalistic order which puts them in an inferior role home.Practices like dowry , horoscope matching,ritualistic mumbo jumbo like sandyavandanam are turn off for

them.Why should they not escape from it and choose a liberal order where such things do not exist?
 
krish44 said:
Brahmins have pre conceived notion that those belonging to all other castes or religions are not marriage material and brahmin girls should shun them and marry only

brahmin boys who are incapable of knowing what is gender equality and justice.They ill treat their educated wives and try to domesticate them making them follow outdated

rituals and rules.If they want good food only from their wives , why should they not hire a cook or marry one from other communities?. Most brahmin girls like to escape

from a paternalistic order which puts them in an inferior role home.Practices like dowry , horoscope matching,ritualistic mumbo jumbo like sandyavandanam are turn off for

them.Why should they not escape from it and choose a liberal order where such things do not exist?
Click to expand...

Men of any race or community all think like that..all other race or community men are useless...that is their own girls should only desire them but they(males) are free to marry or chase after any female.

Bollywood only makes movies where Indian Hindu guy falls in love with Pakistani Muslim girl accross the border and puts Sindoor on her head but they will NEVER EVER make a movie where Pakistani Muslim guy falls in love with Indian Hindu girl across the border and has Nikah with her.

All hell will break loose if such a movie is made.

When it comes to brains of men..nothing moves much beyond their reproductive organs..each male is happily deluded that they come with the best equipment till an African male walks tru the door.!!LOL
 
I would like to hear from women in this forum what they think of the above post.

It appears to be an onslaught by a decaying legal mind unable to accept the aspiration of modern brahmin girls for gender equality and respect sadly lacking in our households.

There is no point in shooting the messenger who talks of changed times and need for urgent reforms within the community to set right the feudal practices in the name of

sastras and outdated rituals which demean women.

Changes are inevitable and those who come in the way will be swept aside.

A new order where rights to equality, gender justice will be the norm and those who act against it will not be easily able to get away without harm
 
krish44 said:
I would like to hear from women in this forum what they think of the above post.

It appears to be an onslaught by a decaying legal mind unable to accept the aspiration of modern brahmin girls for gender equality and respect sadly lacking in our households.

There is no point in shooting the messenger who talks of changed times and need for urgent reforms within the community to set right the feudal practices in the name of

sastras and outdated rituals which demean women.

Changes are inevitable and those who come in the way will be swept aside.

A new order where rights to equality, gender justice will be the norm and those who act against it will not be easily able to get away without harm
Click to expand...

Dear Krish ji,

My honest opinion even though I am not a TB.

I feel women in India practice defensive tactics in marriage possibly becos of being psychologically scared by restrictions of yesteryears by males.

So its pay back time gone into over drive.

Those of us who have been for generations in other countries have not been exposed to restrictive over orthodox scenarios hence we do not play defensive matrimony games and live with husband as his equal.

Now if you ask me what I think of the above post.
Again...I will be honest.

Its just an avalanche of words due to a neuronal persistant depolarization without hitting resting phase.
 
"Very curious to know why three successive posts in this thread by Mr.SNI were deleted !!" --

I, too. When our Major Moderator and teamtb see to fit, perhaps they will be gracious enough to elucidate. Meanwhile, Let's wait patiently.

S Narayanaswamy Iyer
 
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