come on ..judge a book by its cover - as viewed in neeya naana

[valli]

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Love, made for each other, born for each other, divine will, deserve each other., purva janma continuity! Take your pick!

Marriage, made for each other, born for each other, divine will, no one to marry AT ALL, still struggling even after 30's, purva janma continutiy! Take your pick!

 

[kameshratnam]

I have seen this and any one wants to deny this

Brahmin girls of today want to be free. They dont want to be controlled. I have seen so many brahmin girls controlling their husbands and their families. The NB guys listen to these girls because for them a b is something which they have not imagined.

If they marry a B Guy - there would be a lot of restrictions and the modern girls wont agree to this. Rahu and ketu effects will be there after marriage. Madisar is a problem. 4 - 5 festivals a year and they dont have any of that.

 

[guruvayurappan]

dear kunjuppu sir !
post #37
it come to my memory the popular saying
kariam periatha veeriyam periyatha
yanaikku oru kalam entral punaikku oru kalam
kalam kaninthu varum varail poruthiru maganey

 

[ramanasukumar]

Dear Sir

1. Yes, the girls are very very fair looking and looked like angels when they married. (Sorry, I can't give you the photo proof though I have them!)

2. Both had a good family background, but then, who decides whether it is cordial and peaceful? Ok, if you think, aboout
a. drunken daddy - NO
b. spenthrift daddy or mummy - NO
c. Normal every other family - ofcourse YES and it was very very true in the first case who married the ST

3. Reason for marrying them - MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION sir, and you want to know it as easily!!! ​

Valli
Thanks for your reply.
My opinion whether they marry inside the caste or outside the caste, it is left to them to lead a cordial, understanding and happpy life without concerning outhers. Especially in love marriage the criticism from outside is vociferous, if the won't live happily. In intercaste marriage especially in rural areas it will be difficult for a couple to a lead a peaceful life but some of them are coming out succefully. In love marriage it should not be a hasty decision only by the attraction of sex without mutual understanding.

 

[kunjuppu]

dear kunjuppu sir !
post #37
it come to my memory the popular saying
kariam periatha veeriyam periyatha
yanaikku oru kalam entral punaikku oru kalam
kalam kaninthu varum varail poruthiru maganey

very true guru

 

[guruvayurappan]

I have seen this and any one wants to deny this

Brahmin girls of today want to be free. They dont want to be controlled. I have seen so many brahmin girls controlling their husbands and their families. The NB guys listen to these girls because for them a b is something which they have not imagined.

If they marry a B Guy - there would be a lot of restrictions and the modern girls wont agree to this. Rahu and ketu effects will be there after marriage. Madisar is a problem. 4 - 5 festivals a year and they dont have any of that.

dear kameshratnam !
a bramin girl is marrying a nb boy because,
1)no government employed brahmin boys &she feel her life will be secure if only marrying government servant
2)in her family there will not be a appreciating and praising words which is coming from the nb boys
3)they are carried away by tamil hero like appearence & mannerism
4) the highly educated NB boy not finding suitable educated bride and by all tactics attract b girls &marry

 

[sangom]

Dear Shri Sangom



The reply I am going to give is not really targeted just to you, it is targeted at all the others out here who think that the reason a B girl loves and marries a NB boy is just because he is 'dashing' in looks or because he is really really rich!!!

As far as I have seen (I have seen many love marriages across B and NB and also between NB and NB) the NB boys who the B girls married are neither richer than the girl's family nor they are so.... handsome looking! Infact, there have been so many many people asking what made these B girls marry such a NORMAL person.

1. This is one very very rich girl financially and both socially. Her father is in a top position in Air Force. She married a ST boy who is very dark skinned, not at all good looking (according to what we would normally say), had premature gray hair but studied very hard and got a good degree and a decent job! She was also a very well educated girl and working! In her Uni days and working days she would have very well seen many many B boys who studied hard, got a good degree and a decent job!

So, why did she insist on marrying that ST boy?

I don't think that this a million dollar question and I have already said the reason in this forum in one of my first few naive posts!

2. My Periappa's daughter married a NB (one of the FC NB). The guy is very average looking and not at all what one would say 'Handsome' and his family is very average compared to her family! He was supposed to marry his elder sister's daughter! There was much angst with his elder sister and her husband and that man even commented this to her 'அவன் என்ன பெரிய மன்மதக் ***** இன்னு நீ அவன கல்யாணம் பண்ணிண்ட?'

Ok, so these are the examples and reasons I have seen in my little life. If people tell that B girls marry NB boys based on the money and handsomeness, sorry guys, I have not seen such examples.

Kind regards

P.S. Dear Shri Sangom, you just mentioned that B girls get more chance to mingle with dashing NB boys, but I think relating to the context of the post, it also means that 'they get more chance to mingle with dashing NB boys, fall in love with them and elope with them'. If you did not mean that - I am sorry. But I think my post is relevant in addressing the point why B girls love NB boys. Thanks Sir.

Smt. Valli,

You know we men are not really any authority to comment on women's minds, but in the absense of any definitive comments from the female members, I ventured to write my honest opinion. I don't claim that it must be held true, nor authentic.

I agree that when girls get a chance to move with boys, naturally, the chance of their falling in love with one of those boys will be more.

I made earnest attempts to trace the 'naive' post on this topic which you refer to but miserably failed. Will you kindly give the url?

 

[Raghy]

Dear Sir

1. Yes, the girls are very very fair looking and looked like angels when they married. (Sorry, I can't give you the photo proof though I have them!)

2. Both had a good family background, but then, who decides whether it is cordial and peaceful? Ok, if you think, aboout
a. drunken daddy - NO
b. spenthrift daddy or mummy - NO
c. Normal every other family - ofcourse YES and it was very very true in the first case who married the ST

3. Reason for marrying them - MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION sir, and you want to know it as easily!!!

Sowbagyavathy Valli, Greetings.

I am addressing the point #3. NB boys possibly out number B boys by 30 to 1 in general. ( taking into consideration, brahmins are about 3% of the population). In the workforce, owing to the reservation policies, that ratio would be even further watered down to possibly 40 to 1 ? In such a situation, B or NB girls are exposed more to NB boys. NB girls also get into love affairs, face parents opposition and elope too; when NB girls elope with NB boys, such events are not taken in to considerations in any discussions in this forum.

Secondly, B girls do have lot of freedom. They do have ample situations to form friendship with other male peers which in some cases progress to love and marriage. Few girls feel obligated to marry the first person they get attracted to. Sometimes, the boys can be so charming, most girls wouldn't have buckley's chance in not getting sucked into such a relationship. 'ஆசை அறுபது நாள்; மோகம் முப்பது நாள்' is not true. மோகம் can be முப்பது வருஷம் too.... sometimes can be even longer than that. When the girl gets coupled with such a person, she would naturally marry him. I have seen few such examples.

If the girl's parents knew of such developments well in advance, most often than not, they would also enjoy the event. (well, in my case, I did that with in 10 days. In spite of fighting with me tooth and claw, her father couldn't help but smile at my antics couple of times!).

But in this whole discussion, the bottom line is missing though. Love affair purely depends upon the body chemistry. If the boy has the desire burning in his நாபி, the girl is likely to see it in his eyes. If she identified that, she will go after him. It is so simple, just the natural instinct. At that instance, caste means nothing. He and she wouldn't consider anything as an obstacle including caste.

Cheers!

 

[valli]

Dear Raghy Anna

But in this whole discussion, the bottom line is missing though. Love affair purely depends upon the body chemistry. If the boy has the desire burning in his நாபி, the girl is likely to see it in his eyes. If she identified that, she will go after him. It is so simple, just the natural instinct. At that instance, caste means nothing. He and she wouldn't consider anything as an obstacle including caste.

You are absolutely right!!

In both the examples I gave, the girls did not decide, "Ok, now I am going to look for NB boys and fall in love with him."

Kind regards

 

[valli]

Dear Shri Sangom

I made earnest attempts to trace the 'naive' post on this topic which you refer to but miserably failed. Will you kindly give the url?

Even I gave a try this morning but am not able to find the post I have in my mind! Will definitely comeback to you when I find it.

Kind regards

 

[kunjuppu]

this is what i mean by marrying into other cultures, and making them our own.

knowing a few gounders, these were genuinely happy when surya married out of caste, and welcomed jyothika as 'sister' to the fold.

this is part of a series of pix on facebook, 'thaali pirichchu kokkum vizha'...

it only shows, that anyone willing, on both sides, can be familiarized with our sadangu, one of the biggest reasons cited by our tambram boys (more likely their parents0 against marrrying out of caste. where there is a will, i say, there is a way. no?

ps..ofcourse, it helps if the IC girl looks like jyothika

to me personally, the most auspicious sight, is that of a married woman, with sindhoor right up, thick, at the hair parting. it is more so done in the north. our own women, just put a half millimeter kungumam circle at the upper nethi. a full spread one over the hair, looks .... sexy?