come on ..judge a book by its cover - as viewed in neeya naana

[kunjuppu]

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dec 18 neeyaa naanaa

folks,

this show is perhaps among the most funny or ridiculous, depending on your viewpoint, neeyaa naanaa show. but definitely worth a visit.

the issue here is our habit of judging people by our looks.

there was this poor guy, dark and sort of shifty looking - and folks targetted him for dishonesty and such like, just because he 'looked' that way.

somebody was blacklisted, because he was short. reason given கள்ளனை நம்பினாலும் குள்ளனை நம்பாதே - the dumbfounded shorty was told to his face

our prejudices are so telling - short, dark, fat.. all this are viewed negatively, along with certain castes (whose names were politically correctly beeped out).

my own family - yes, we have what i call brahmin prejudices. recently a girl relative of mine, wanted to pair up with a tambram guy, both in the usa and doing well. her family rejected him because he did not 'look enough brahmin' -ப்ராமண களையே இல்லை - was the reason given to the heartbroken girl.

even in our forum, during the days of the marriage swayamvarams, one could see, that the darker toned of our own iyers and iyengars shunned re choice of spouses and these were left holding the empty bag at the end of the day.

anyway, if you are inclined for about 45 minutes of light hearted, but deeply dwelving into our collective psyche, watch this show. across castes, we are all, not that different.

 

[valli]

Another interesting episode, dear Kunjuppu! Saw it day before yesterday.

Really like the way Gopinath conducts the show.

Kind regards

 

[renuka]

I guess thats the world..I remember once when I was a Intern and I had a patient who displayed all signs and symptoms of HIV and I asked him the 1st question that "do you frequent commercial sex workers?" and he said yes and I sent his blood for tests and it came out HIV positive.

To my surprise the consultant I worked under was furious with me.He asked me how "did you manage to hit the diagnosis right away and ask him the 1st question about the commercial sex workers(CSW)stuff...is it becos he had the look that he goes to CSW's"

I said No(so that he wont yell more but in fact that patient had a worn out look which I call the "all used up look" we see in men who are beyond the limit in sexual apetite)..and then my consultant started shouting at me.."You tell me now!! are you forming opinions on how people look like and making diagnosis?"

I was surprised that as a senior consultant he could not make out who does what by just looking at the face..believe me when someone walks tru my door at one look I can know who is going to be a difficult patient and who is going to be arrogant and who is going to be nice and truthful.

I had gone to see a doc recently for some ailment and while waiting I saw a woman come in to the nurses station and I told my husband.."you wait and watch,she is going to be rude to the nurses soon and she has ING insurance card and will be demanding all test to be done soon"

Sure enough in 5 mins she was shouting at the nurses saying "I have ING card and I demand all tests to be done right away"

My husband asked me"How did you know?"

I told him "by the way she walked and carried herself..she had an arrogant gait and face was rather arrogant looking..I knew she will be shouting soon..and her clothes were rather loud and jewellery was too much..thats a sign of someone trying to make a statement..lack of confidence, so they are the ones who will shout the most to make a point clear..these type of mindset think being polite is being without class"

Then my husband said 'But how did you know its ING and not any other insurance?"

I said "cos ING is the best paying card around and people who have that act even more arrogant then any other patient cos their company pays for them and they dont fork out any money and thats why they eventually demand most tests"

Thats what I am saying..We can guess actually who does what by one look!!LOL

 

[valli]

Dear Kunjuppu

You know what - I ended up watching the 11th Oct 2009 episode of 'Neeya Naana' this afternoon!!

Was googling about the program and came across this 'heated' 2009 thread in this forum and read your interesting posts! And then watched the whole episode!

Hmm, well spent (nearly) two hours according to me - reading the whole thread and then watching the episode!

Kind regards

 

[guruvayurappan]

dear kunjuppu sir !
whether you like it or not ,the reality is majority of people judge an individual by their look only.after getting acquittance they find the real quality of that person . that is why the saying FIRST IMPRESSION IS THE BEST IMPRESSION.we(male ) may fail in our judgment ,but ladies seldom fail in that aspect. if your wife cautioned about a person to you, you will find it correct.the same view was expressed by a woman (lecturer in a college )in that show neeya nana. kindly recall an advertisement "bottle alakai parthu vanginaya ?(did you purchase for the sake of bottle shape ?)

 

[kunjuppu]

dear guru,

your post #5.

it is not whether i like it or not, but i agree with you,the reality of society. probably always existed.

the poor guy whom everybody thought was a crook was very upset. so was the short guy. the show did bring out well, that there is two sides to any story. there are a lot of people with hurt pride and feelings, and when they burst out over what we think is 'trivial', we are unable to understand the reasons behind such behaviour.

did you see the resentment of the girl, against someone who did not even know the subject or knew how to talk, but dressed fashionably and was given the job right then and there, against the rest, who went through multiple tests and interviews. such is the behaviour of HR, and i am surprised.

maybe atleast some of us, in the know, can teach our children, not to judge people by their looks. in toronto, where i meet people from every part of the earth, it is easy to categorize. many indians do this, and i have to stop myself, and remember, that 30 years ago, people did the same to me, and it was not pleasant. memory sometimes can be the best tool to prod one's conscience and sense of fair play.

re colour discrimination, among us. i rest my case

 

[suraju06]

Dear Renuka,

That is perhaps a woman's instinct. Instinctively women perhaps make out who is good and who is bad-a gift from the nature and you are a woman.

Cheers.

 

[amala]

I watched this episode and found it quite shocking that the amount of people saying they would refuse to even give the other side a chance or bother to get to know them, simply because of their assumptions about the other party. Having said that many many people judge others by their looks. More so men especially young men as men are highly visual creatures. Sad but inevitable and true.

I am aware that everyone, including me tends to pre assume/pre judge others and at least for my part I do whenever i can be bothered to try and consciously not do that. Its hard work let me tell you! I think even if we have 1st impressions about someone, we should always give them a chance and then if we still dont gel/dont like then we can dismiss off instead of insisting we are right with our assumptions.

There is a saying about assumptions being the mother of all f ups. That can be true many times.

 

[ramanasukumar]

Every human tendency is to judge the persons around them. But if anybody criticise us we can not tolerate. If we first judge ourselves and knew ourselves,we can not criticise anybody.

 

[happyhindu]

Thanks for the link K sir.

Gopinath rocks. I always like the way he conducts the show.

All those people who judge others should be shown photos like this - http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e6/Great_Andamanese_-_two_men_-_1875.jpg --- This is how our earliest ancestors were. This is how we looked in an ancient past.

Just because we have all experienced gene inflow does not give us the right to judge the character of other people based on looks.

These people claim they judge based on 'experience'. What they call 'experience' is just a 'well developed set of prejudices'.

They are saying personally insulting things, which will naturally make the other person sad or angry. Plus it is expected that the other party must not react to such comments.

The lady in pink salwar who was criticised so much, possibly has poor dress sense, but will be the first to help out someone in distress. Who knows?

I knew of a very sweet girl, soft mannered type, with knitted eyebrows joined above her nose. Anyone who says people with such eye brows have negative character should examine their own characters first.

Does it not prick them to say such things...

Wonder why did not the 'judgers', not judge their own character first. If these people travelled to some other place, they too wud be called dark and get a taste of their own medicine. Maybe they live in a nice secure zone, and do not realise it.

Today i saw this article in newspapers - Yeh raha proof, tum hi mere baap ho! - The Times of India -- please see the comments made on a linguistic group.

Those who have never sinned, those who can claim perfect parentage right from the days of Manu, should throw the first stone -- is there anyone like that????

The only people who need to be concerned is the family. Wonder what job does anyone else have to be commenting on other people's personal life or their mating pattern, in such a crass manner.

Vatsayana who wrote about sexual practices of various people of various regions was also perhaps judgemental, but not crass. His comments are such a nice read. Maybe its the denigration from sexual aesthetics to the way we are today....

 

[S.Ramanathan]

It is ridiculous to choose spouse on the basis of colour/physique. It matters only little (Asai 60 days Mogam 30 days), whereas, the character is the mainthing to be looked into.

one of my cousins is slightly handicapped & dark but a good person of no bad habits. He was frustrated at one point of time. By god's grace he got married and is living with a happy family in USA.

Even in tv shows regarding marriage alliances either boy or girl first say azaghana/clean habitat etc.

S.Ramanathan

 

[amala]

Thanks for the link K sir.

Gopinath rocks. I always like the way he conducts the show.

All those people who judge others should be shown photos like this - http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e6/Great_Andamanese_-_two_men_-_1875.jpg --- This is how our earliest ancestors were. This is how we looked in an ancient past.

Just because we have all experienced gene inflow does not give us the right to judge the character of other people based on looks.

These people claim they judge based on 'experience'. What they call 'experience' is just a 'well developed set of prejudices'.

They are saying personally insulting things, which will naturally make the other person sad or angry. Plus it is expected that the other party must not react to such comments.

The lady in pink salwar who was criticised so much, possibly has poor dress sense, but will be the first to help out someone in distress. Who knows?

I knew of a very sweet girl, soft mannered type, with knitted eyebrows joined above her nose. Anyone who says people with such eye brows have negative character should examine their own characters first.

Does it not prick them to say such things...

Wonder why did not the 'judgers', not judge their own character first. If these people travelled to some other place, they too wud be called dark and get a taste of their own medicine. Maybe they live in a nice secure zone, and do not realise it.

Today i saw this article in newspapers - Yeh raha proof, tum hi mere baap ho! - The Times of India -- please see the comments made on a linguistic group.

Those who have never sinned, those who can claim perfect parentage right from the days of Manu, should throw the first stone -- is there anyone like that????

The only people who need to be concerned is the family. Wonder what job does anyone else have to be commenting on other people's personal life or their mating pattern, in such a crass manner.

Vatsayana who wrote about sexual practices of various people of various regions was also perhaps judgemental, but not crass. His comments are such a nice read. Maybe its the denigration from sexual aesthetics to the way we are today....

Check out the comments in the TOI article about gujjus. Disgraceful to say the least!

 

[sangom]

Check out the comments in the TOI article about gujjus. Disgraceful to say the least!

amala,

I do not find any comments about or against gujjus. It only says "gujarat" the state. HH and yourself seem to be as judgmental as the 'neeya naana' people in making personal opinions from appearance (here, what is actually written).

Having said that, is it not a truth that all of us form opinions on first look of someone new to us? And do we not keep that as a valuable input on which further editing is done as time passes and we get additional inputs about that person? May be generally people do not show their first impressions off in the way it was shown in that 'neeya naanaa' but I am told that in such special cases it is a set-up show and the two sides are acting (very cleverly); otherwise there would have been legal hassles and the show would have closed down.

People who are knowledgeable of tv shows say that in such out-of-the ordinary shows, each of the persons present on both sides are told what to expect and are made to sign a written consent also. May be the girl in red clothes and jewellery was specially set up.

 

[guruvayurappan]

dear kujuppu sir !
make fun of somebody on their look is always in our society.due to change of time, it has shifted from direct reference to mention in private for identifying the persons. like specs man ,bald man,kulla katrika, dakshina moorthy, kozhi kalu.garuda azhvar ,unpathu.etc.
in neeya nana so many interesting(or disputed ) topics are discussed

 

[kunjuppu]

Dear sangom,

I have made up my mind to put my name for future neeyaa naana shows, and if/when this happens, I will share the real scoop with members here.

I think, people are given the specifics, and asked to chose which side they would like to be on; based on the choice, candidates suitable fitting both the opposing sides, in a stereotyped characterization, are selected.

Admittedly, the extent of prejudice, as exhibited in the show, I feel are real & probably reflects what one may find in real life. Except here it is verbalized, to an extent, to produce a ‘show shock’ to all of us.

Really speaking, none of us should be shocked by the show, for after it is a reflection of us all.

N’est pas?

 

[amala]

Shri Sangom,
I wasn't referring to the article but the comments from the readers below the article was clearly about gujjus. The people and not the state and many are not polite. hence disgraceful. I will copy and paste just some of it.
Sardar Bishin Singh (Doha - Qatar) replies to Antriksh
17 mins ago (06:31 PM)
We love
gujarati ladies as they are killing. The husband get old in two to three years
as the use is so hard that after three years the erections of the gujaratis
stopped. I have the experience of the gujarati beauty and am destroyed for the
rest of my life. Love the gugarati ladies but hat their useless gents.

Raj (Mumbai) replies to sameer
2 hrs ago (04:01 PM)
The question is "Why Gujarati Babes are so HOT and their men so cold?", although
they share the same lifestyle?????

Nelson dmello (Banglore) replies to Raj
1 hr ago (04:51 PM)
Gujarati
girls are the best in sex. Its not possible for the gujarati men to satisfy
them. Its amazing to have a Gujarati wife as she never let the husband to sleep
at night. The gujju men are useless and 50 % have no erection.


These are just 3 that I've picked and i wouldn't dream of but to show you what i meant by disgraceful. The readers comments and not the TOI article. I had thought that would have been clear. And forgive my mistake/ignorance but I am sure these comments are about gujju the people and not the state. But i may be wrong.

Also i apologise if these comments offends anyone here. I wouldn't be posting it but to show shri Sangom what i meant by disgraceful to gujju the people.

 

[guruvayurappan]

dear kujuppu sir !
even a child will say all TV shows planned in accordance with guide line given by the presenting person.all are stage managed..if any objectionable(for that chanel-need not be for all ) item is edited .take the case of super singer .all well established singers are awarded the super singer.vijay TV has not bound any new talent.the same case with thanga mazhai brought out by SUN TV.in malligai magazine you can find a debate about TV serial and finished without giving opinion for any side

 

[kunjuppu]

dear kujuppu sir !
even a child will say all TV shows planned in accordance with guide line given by the presenting person.all are stage managed..if any objectionable(for that chanel-need not be for all ) item is edited .take the case of super singer .all well established singers are awarded the super singer.vijay TV has not bound any new talent.the same case with thanga mazhai brought out by SUN TV.in malligai magazine you can find a debate about TV serial and finished without giving opinion for any side

smart children these days

 

[sangom]

Shri Sangom,
I wasn't referring to the article but the comments from the readers below the article was clearly about gujjus. The people and not the state and many are not polite. hence disgraceful. I will copy and paste just some of it.
Sardar Bishin Singh (Doha - Qatar) replies to Antriksh
17 mins ago (06:31 PM)
We love
gujarati ladies as they are killing. The husband get old in two to three years
as the use is so hard that after three years the erections of the gujaratis
stopped. I have the experience of the gujarati beauty and am destroyed for the
rest of my life. Love the gugarati ladies but hat their useless gents.

Raj (Mumbai) replies to sameer
2 hrs ago (04:01 PM)
The question is "Why Gujarati Babes are so HOT and their men so cold?", although
they share the same lifestyle?????

Nelson dmello (Banglore) replies to Raj
1 hr ago (04:51 PM)
Gujarati
girls are the best in sex. Its not possible for the gujarati men to satisfy
them. Its amazing to have a Gujarati wife as she never let the husband to sleep
at night. The gujju men are useless and 50 % have no erection.


These are just 3 that I've picked and i wouldn't dream of but to show you what i meant by disgraceful. The readers comments and not the TOI article. I had thought that would have been clear. And forgive my mistake/ignorance but I am sure these comments are about gujju the people and not the state. But i may be wrong.

Also i apologise if these comments offends anyone here. I wouldn't be posting it but to show shri Sangom what i meant by disgraceful to gujju the people.

Well, I did not read the comments. So, I should apologize. But it might have been better to view the comments as separate from the news report itself.

The comments are really bad. But any valid conclusion about gujju men/women will have to wait till we have data from similar labs in other states. But my own hunch is that at today's advance of the society so fast and so quickly, that too the pace of women's liberation, the suspicion of paternity will be somewhat rampant across this country. Only, all these are suppressed, in Gujarat it is become visible, perhaps.

 

[guruvayurappan]

thanks for agreeing that we were not smart like nowadays children .

 

[kunjuppu]

sangom, amala,

seriously folks, and without any hurt or humiliation intended, i have heard similar comments about gujju men on many several occassions - the reason being that their primary effort and most of their energy expended in making money and everything else takes a distant secondary spot.

like all generalizations, this one is faulty too, i believe

 

[guruvayurappan]

it has become a habit to make comment about other state people when the people of some region are meeting .that is why sardarji joke ,malayalee jokes mullah jokes, and madrasi jokes

one state person will be boasting about their potency compare to other state.these talks normally takes place when talking to person who never visited other places

 

[guruvayurappan]

exactly the same type of comments made about nattu kotai chettiyars and malayalees who go foreign

 

[sangom]

thanks for agreeing that we were not smart like nowadays children .

Shri appan,

Since you have not addressed your post to anyone and have posted immediately after my post, I feel it is correct for me to take it as directed at me.

I do not really understand what you refer by your words "nowadays children"; is it to HH and amala? or is it to the son who went for DNA test? Since anyway you imply that your post is to a person who is obviously "not smart" in your own view, why not be a little more explicit?

If it is about commenting on comments on news-reports, I beg to differ and say, we should stop with the news and not go on making conclusions based on the comments from readers.

 

[guruvayurappan]

dear sangom sir !
that was folloe up to sri kunjupp sir post. anyway i did not speak about anybody by referring nowadays children. i am talking about our own wards . if you feel you are smarter than your wards ,i am not having any thing to say . but i am happy that my children are smarter than me for which i am feeling happy. but my sons and daughters are very polite and affectionate to me . on occasions when they .differ they will convey it in a harmless way without hurting our(me and my wife) feeling and if they erred they will hesitate to accept their fault. my policy is .ep porul yar vaiye ketpinum ap poral mei porul kanpathu arivu
with regards,
guruvayuarappan