I am a silent reader of this forum, and some of the posts in this thread are very shocking. All the criticisms seem to be directed at the girls for having expectations of what they want in life. It seems hypocritical to me that the majority of the members are able to accept the fact that men/boys can have ambitions/goals etc in life and their wives should simply follow suit. However when the same thoughts are expressed by girls it becomes a big problem. It seems to me a case of "maamiyar udaithal mann kalam, maattupen udaithal vengalam"
When the boys looking for a suitable match understand that marriage is a partnership where both partners have ambitions/goals and both have to make adjustments, this perceived problem will go away. Other than Mr. Suraju06 in post 157 and Shankara_ Sarmah in post #166 no one has even touched this aspect of the problem.
In case any one is wondering, my marriage is an intercaste marriage and I have been married for more than 30 years. I am quite sure any marriage can be made successful if there is willingness to be flexible and be considerate of your partners wishes.
I had always hoped to see more of you. Folks like you, with having lived the life, of IC marriages, and such, bandied here on a theoretical basis or with coloured goggles, need to have an eye opener like you.
I think, people need to consider the girl same as the boy. Absolute equal in terms of life expectations, ambitons, educational aspirations, career goals etc.
This concept itself goes dead against the concept of arranged marriage, where all along, it has been the boy who has been calling the shots. No one till recently maybe, ever heard of a boy giving up his career and moving to a girl’s home or town. The girl as I have posted several times, had to ‘prove’ her ‘worthiness’ of the boy and his family.
All this has left a chip on the shoulders of folks here, with remembered experiences, and unable to accept the realities of today.
A little less attitude, and the boys can go a long way to find a mate. Again, just look at the stubbornness when one suggests even to look for a mate out of caste. Everyone wants horoscope (!) matchup even though it has been proved time and again, they can be as much right as wrong. As a community, we may have advanced economically, but unless we move our attitudes to be in sync with current times, we are destined to continue to experience the angsts that seem to be so prevalent.