Note: There are many members in this forum who do not like to talk about history and introspection of our community. A few of them may find my post offensive. If you are one of them please avoid this discussion.
We have had a number of discussions about the problems in Brahmin Boys getting married. It is blamed on the assertiveness/aggressiveness of modern girls.
This is not entirely true. Modernity has nothing to do with the present problems except that it has freed our women from the dependence on men.
Tamil Brahmin women have always been smart, assertive and aggressive. At least in the last 150 years. You have to only read some old novels by Vai. Mu. Kothainayaki Ammal and Thi. Janakiraman among others to find out about this. We are all aware of this. We are portrayed like that in Cinema and TV. That is how we are viewed by others. A community of smart, assertive/aggressive women and Cowardly men.
The contributing factor to this is the total lack of assertiveness/aggressiveness bordering on Cowardice on the part of Brahmin Men.
But most of us refuse to accept this.
I admire the Brahmin Women who have carried the burden of the family for generations. They had to carry not only the family but also the burden of an often useless husband.
The Brahmins who were assertive/aggressive moved up the social ladder. The non-Aggressive Brahmins got left behind in the lower middle class.
Sattivakam does not mean loss of Masculinity. Non-Aggression does not mean non-assertiveness/cowardice. Brahmins did do fighting. Dhronacharya was a Brahmin. The legendary Parasurama almost wiped out the Kshitryas. But these are not our Heroes.
I have physically beaten up people in Kerala and Punjab because they thought they could insult a Brahmin and a South Indian without any physical reaction.
General opinion is that Brahmins are Cowards and South Indians are tunda (cold). Means they will not react to insults.