Hi folk,
I asked a brahmin girl to contribute to this forum. After studying some of the posts in this forum and the topics discussed she sent me this. Please read this.
I am a brahmin girl. I am 26 years old. I am intelligent, fair and beautiful though I may not be mirror-cracking material. I am tall, healthy and slim. I am a post graduate and am well employed. My annual earnings are in the seven figure range. My parents are healthy and are self dependent both financially and otherwise. I have a younger sister who is also well employed after her graduation. When my parents asked me whether I am ready for a marriage so that they can find a suitable match for me I told them yes. But I retained the final say as to accept or reject a match. My parents agreed to this and started looking for a match for me. I am going to tell you the real life story of my experience in finding a suitable match for me. When I started this exercise I never thought that it would turn out to be so difficult. My requirements or expectations, which were worked out in a meeting of the family council (this council consists of father, mother, myself and sister and my grandma ) were these:
(1)The boy should not be more than 3 years older than me. Can be relaxed by one more year if the other parameters are satisfactory.
(2)He should be atleast a PG. and well employed. His annual income is not a criterion. He may be earning less than me or more than me.
(3)He should be tall like me, healthy and handsome. No handicaps. Should not be suffering from any disease.
(4)His family should be a decent one. Parents should not take offence if enquiries are made about the family. If they give references for validations that would be excellent. The parents should be well educated.
(5)He should not have bad habits. Not even social drinking. Not even just one cigarette a day.
(6)If he has brothers and sisters elder to him they should be already married.
(7)Though we are not sold on astrology, we would look for horoscope matching. If it does not match for us and matches from the boy’s side it is ok with us and we will move forward.
(8)I have no problem living with in laws as I know its value. But being a working women I expect a lot of understanding from their side about my limitations to adjust my time between demanding time-lines in my work life and my household duties at home. I don’t even expect to express this to my inlaws in so many words and that is what I mean by understanding.
Having finalised this list we decided that (1) it would be too much to give this complete list to each boy or his parents when an approach is made. We know the nature of egos and how they play out.(2) We would not mention my earnings in the initial stages. We would just say well employed. So we started receiving proposals and in some cases we made proposals and followed them up relentlessly when recommended by friends, relatives neighbours etc. and started looking at each one with an open mind sincerely with the intention to take it to the final level. But my experience was not a very happy one.
Case 1.
This boy met most of our requirements. He was taller than me, was a PG from one of the premier institutes, was well employed. He looked handsome too. His parents told us the horoscopes matched well. So we did not go to the astrologer. After the preliminaries were over, My parents invited them to our house one day so that we, the boy and girl, can meet. They came and they impressed us as a good family. The boy and I were given an opportunity to speak to each other alone. The boy was frank and told me that he was a social drinker. He said he had excellent control over his drink. He never got drunk. His parents were not aware about his drinking habit. After they left we discussed whether it is okay to take the risk and move ahead. While my parents were particular that the proposal is not okay I was confident that I could manage because I liked the frankness with which he spoke about his habit, knowing fully well that our family will consider it unacceptable. We decided that we should make more enquiries. My parents visited the boy’s house one day. After a cup of coffee and introductions and then the usual concerns etc., the father of the boy went in and called out some name and out came a full grown Alsatian dog . It, rather he, was introduced as a member of the family and he made appropriate noise acknowledging the compliment with a bow wow. My parents decided that moment that this was not for us. They took leave and came home and by that time the private detective who was engaged to inquire about the boy too gave a report that the boy visits bars with his friends/colleagues. The report was not of much use as it did not contain any previously unknown info. My Dad politely informed them that we are not interested in the alliance and wishing the boy a happy marriage soon.And we added one more requirement in our list that there should be no pets at home as we are all allergic to that.
More cases will follow.
I will post more cases when I receive them. Cheers.
