A love story of a brahmin girl

[siva144]

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do not generalize--but it is more happening with TB,a concern
many a time TB girls r found to be more susceptible/enticed to NB boys than TB/B boys--a cine influenced glamor and heroism,
whereas TB boys mostly feel/look for TB girls,[unfortunately TB girls r looking for NB boys!!!]thus ratio is disrupted amongst TB.
TB girls r also pampered by father [than mother]

when too much is expected--beautiful 'lies' look very true and glamorous and thus easy to fall into trap,--truth is always ugly

TB girls r now becoming more accustomed to NV+ food habits than TB boys!!!!--can v call this as individual choice? a western style,adjusting to any damn thing ...?

v find very few TB girl love story with TB boys,and too many with NB boys!!...v must learn to digest......indigestible substances.....v TB r treating Brahminism as a fallacy--this is more true with Tamil/TB than with Brahmins in other parts of the country--too much liberty to think? yes for wrong reasons....

 

[kunjuppu]

siva,

i don't think TB girls are as innocent and pure as you imagine.

they are willing to look beyond the confines of the அம்மாஞ்சிஸ், same as our boys.

except that the boys don't get that much attention for their supposed 'transgressions'.

all the boys i know, have converted to other religions when they married girls out of faith. how do you account for that?

why are you not mentioning about girls or boys marrying out of faith, and converting to other religions? to me that is more a reflection of the failure of hinduism in developing adherents to their faith.

i am very intrigued that you are very upset about our girls marrying NBs, but apparently not a word about our boys doing the same thing. or even worse, our youths marrying christians and muslims, and converting to those faiths. i see a double standard here.

 

[siva144]

reflection of happening--no discrimination towards any--not even to NB /other community

custodians of culture --usually women, when this is happening -it will create some surprises--but when TB boys go out of way, do upset--..odd happening and dismiss it as rare instance,bad boy...

but when this happens to TB girls--v feel something is not right[i do not use transgression] I am not saying v TB is all 'right' and do no wrongs---this is also reflection of TB nature --expecting too[aasai] much and not getting it--lead to it

this is 'not' to say TB girls have no rights to do and so on....it is purely an individual choice...but when many instances happen---it becomes a social problem

there is no favoritism to TB boys--instead of bragging--v must also highlight problem of TB/B .....if at all v can help to set it right!!!!

 

[C RAVI]

Off course TB boys are no exception....

Many of the TB boys are looking to other cast / other religion girls for many reasons..

To my knowledge, some of these reasons are -

1) Brahmin girls are flying in colors and would not have the tendency to respect her husband

2) Brahmin girls are very smart and shrewd. Having them as their wife my seriously affect their ego

3) Generally Brahmin boys and girls are intelligent and most of them are over smart. So Brahmin boys are not willing to go for a Brahmin girl so that they can be at ease.

4) Most of today's Brahmin girls are not interested in cooking and household activities in comparison with NB girls and Muslim girls.

5) Brahmin girls may not accept some of the ridiculous fantasies of today's Brahmin boys.

It seems to be difficult to determine who is right and who is wrong; whom to be corrected and whom need not be. Looking into all these negative attitude of Brahmin girls and Brahmin Boys, I believe any attempt to bring changes in such negative behavior / negative thinking would go a long way. In fact may not be possible at all.

The root cause of all these negative attitude of Brahmin boys and Brahmin girls would be their parents (the way they bring up their children), the society and the environment.

I believe if parents could mould their children in a perfect way than such odd life style preferences can be avoided.

If parents need to bear the responsibility, than the parents should be from the same community without which they can not direct their children in a right way.

If parents could not direct their children after a specific period of time owing to changes in social environment leading to a totally different life style fashion than no one can be blamed.

The sole responsibility would be of each Brahmin boy and Brahmin girl who need to determine as how they would like to have their family set up and cope with the changing society and changing generation.

One's life is in one's hand and the negative and positive impacts of any life time decisions would be one's own. There would not be any use in blaming the parents and the society.

 

[sumathi ravi]

Really very interesting to read all the views and comments.

I hope someone will give me the answer for the below question.

What is the difference between Brahmin and an Non-Brahmin. Is it only regarding veg and non veg food or something else?. Please clear my doubts.

 

[happyhindu]

Really very interesting to read all the views and comments.

I hope someone will give me the answer for the below question.

What is the difference between Brahmin and an Non-Brahmin. Is it only regarding veg and non veg food or something else?. Please clear my doubts.

Sumathi Ravi,

1) If you had gone thru some threads here, or had sought a teacher to learn vedanta, by now you wud have have known this:

-- one group believes that a brahmin is by his (inherited) birth occupation of priesthood, and/or dependent on (associated) ritualism-based professions / ideology (these are the purva mimansa followers)..
-- the other group believes that brahmin is by his (inherited) birth qualities that have made him seek union with brahman, irrespective of his occupation (these are the uttara mimansa or vedanta followers)..

Each group uses the same vedas, the same smrithis, same books but each group has interpreted it differently and created its own supporting literature to susbstantiate their stand. What can be the orthodox (and popular) view to one, can be dismissed by the other as a non-entity. So, the deciding factor comes from the birth or not-by-birth scenario.

2) Reg food, today's sensibilites can seem diff from the past (and expectedly, will change further in future)...

These days, in metros like bangalore and chennai, its hard to see women cooking at home (or atleast that's how it appears to me).. Mostly its breakfast at home, lunch at office and for dinner, they just go out together as a family.. Employing a maid cum cook at home has become a common feature too (esp when there are elderly ppl at home), and it also helps cater to each one's food choice....

3) Reg your story, methinks no one really forgets their first love(s)...If the bond b/w the husband-wife is strong, they wud definitely have told each other about their love stories...and in some of those light moments, they wud also have giggled and teased each other abt it...unfortunately, the lady in the story wasn't that lucky..she simply seems to have lived her life as a duty-bound wife..

Regards.

 

[happyhindu]

this is 'not' to say TB girls have no rights to do and so on....it is purely an individual choice...but when many instances happen---it becomes a social problem

there is no favoritism to TB boys--instead of bragging--v must also highlight problem of TB/B .....if at all v can help to set it right!!!!

hope inter-caste marriages by TB boys are also equally seen in the same light, as a social problem...

perhaps kunjuppu ji's observation is right - all the B boys i have seen also (those who married out of their religion) have converted to the religion of their wife...its hard to find girls, on the other hand, marrying non-hindus...

let there be no favoritism to TB boys in this matter....why let guys go with just a rap on the hand and seek to only crucify the girls .

 

[pannvalan]

Dear Kunjuppu,

I am not against 'love' per se. But, my definition of love is, as I understand, totally different from many of the inputs made in this thread.

I am not for perpetuating casteism and at the same time, I am of the firm belief that casteism cannot be abolished that easily within the near future.

So, without making so much fuss of the existence of casteism, we shall try to eradicate only its evil effects.

Treating everyone with equal respect, love and kindness is sufficient to mitigate the ill effects of casteism. But, the positive and unique features of certain groups/castes like ours may be highlighted and emulated and preserved. This applies to all groups/castes.
This is where one's cultural idenity comes in.

Another important point is I do not agree with the argument that to accept people from other castes, one must necessarily enter into marital ties with their families, to pass the ultimate test. Am very clear in my mind about that. To explain further, I have so many NB and Dalit friends and when collectively seen, they outnumber the brahmin friends I have. I maintain a very cordial and comfortable relationship with all such friends. They also appreciate me in many respects, though we as ordinary human beings have differences of opinion on certain matters.

Alright, coming to love, I did not have an opportunity to fall in love, though I continue to love the 'love', myself being a poet.

I shall post a sweet and nice poem on love I had written in the past, very soon in the literature section. At least on reading this, Kunjuppu and other friends will change their opinion about me.

I shall post another piece regarding the suggestions I wish to make to the boys. Boys are not to be treated preferentially, as compared to girls.

Both boys and girls nowadays choose a companion out of their community. But, a consolation is they constitute less than 20% of the youth population, as per rough estimate. (Nara, don't ask for any documentary evidence to support this calculation of mine).

Cultural fusion has been in existence ever since civilisations were born. But, we fail to understand and appreciate the diffence between fusion and plain romance and mating.

I shall continue to contribute more, in the days to come.

 

[C RAVI]

Sri Pannvalan ji,

Dear Kunjuppu,

I am not against 'love' per se. But, my definition of love is, as I understand, totally different from many of the inputs made in this thread.

I am not for perpetuating casteism and at the same time, I am of the firm belief that casteism cannot be abolished that easily within the near future.

So, without making so much fuss of the existence of casteism, we shall try to eradicate only its evil effects.

Treating everyone with equal respect, love and kindness is sufficient to mitigate the ill effects of casteism. But, the positive and unique features of certain groups/castes like ours may be highlighted and emulated and preserved. This applies to all groups/castes.
This is where one's cultural idenity comes in.

- I am on the same opinion...

Another important point is I do not agree with the argument that to accept people from other cases, one must necessarily enter into marital ties with their families, to pass the ultimate test. Am very clear in my mind about that. To explain further, I have so many NB and Dalit friends and when collectively seen, they outnumber the brahmin friends I have. I maintain a very cordial and comfortable relationship with all such friends. They also appreciate me in many respects, though we as ordinary human beings have differences of opinion on certain matters.

- I too equally agree. The same with me.

Alright, coming to love, I did not have an opportunity to fall in love, though I continue to love the 'love', myself being a poet.

- Same with me..(but I am not a poet).

I shall post a sweet and nice poem on love I had written in the past, very soon in the literature section. At least on reading this, Kunjuppu and other friends will change their opinion about me.

- Unfortunately I know only spoken Tamizh. Beaing brought up in many Northern stats of India and schooling from Kendriya Vidyalaya. I can not read and write in Tamizh. Will try to read some how (Konjam kooti kooti padippen).

I shall post another piece regarding the suggestions I wish to make to the boys. Boys are not to be treated preferentially, as compared to girls.

- Iam of the same view. Please come up with at your suggestions at your earliest.

Both boys and girls nowadays choose a companion out of their community. But, a consolation is they constitute less than 20% of the youth population, as per rough estimate. (Nara, don't ask for any documentary evidence to support this calculation of mine).

Cultural fusion has been in existence ever since civilisations were born. But, we fail to understand and appreciate the diffence between fusion and plain romance and mating.

I shall continue to contribute more, in the days to come.

:yo:

 

[happyhindu]

My views are a bit different from Shri Ravi ji as he has posted above.

I am not for perpetuating casteism and at the same time, I am of the firm belief that casteism cannot be abolished that easily within the near future.

Actually, it is already being abolised i think. Already veda patshalas have started taking in students (across all strata / castes) in other states. Let there be such a move in tamilnadu and you yourself will see casteism disappearing within a few years.

Infact, its a section of brahmins who do not want casteism to disappear since it cud mean 'loss of identity' to them. Same goes for other sections that want to hold on to caste as an 'identity' (whatever that means in the 21st century).

Currently, it is fast disappearing due to the effects of modernization, industrialization and the new world open economy, which has resulted in movement and exchange of ideas across all strata.

So, without making so much fuss of the existence of casteism, we shall try to eradicate only its evil effects.

Casteism itself has been considered evil. The disappearance of casteism (to me) due to this new age economy and modernisation seems a good thing..

Treating everyone with equal respect, love and kindness is sufficient to mitigate the ill effects of casteism. But, the positive and unique features of certain groups/castes like ours may be highlighted and emulated and preserved. This applies to all groups/castes.
This is where one's cultural idenity comes in.

This is easier said than done sir. On this forum, have we not seen ppl with superiority complex based on caste.

Once the idea of caste, and superiority by birth, gets ingrained into a person, not sure if it is possible for him to treat everyone with equal respect, love, kindness...

Another important point is I do not agree with the argument that to accept people from other cases, one must necessarily enter into marital ties with their families, to pass the ultimate test.

I agree with this. Marriages cannot be used as a political or integration tool.

If love happens (b/w 2 grown up adults not teenagers), then its an other matter.

But getting someone to marry solely for the sake of integration is like sacrificing one's own life to an ideology, rather than marrying for the liking or love of the spouse.

 

[kunjuppu]

....I shall post a sweet and nice poem on love I had written in the past, very soon in the literature section. At least on reading this, Kunjuppu and other friends will change their opinion about me.

.

pann,

i hold you in highest regard and affection. i have stated in other posts that i look forward to your posts. in fact i would love to hear your ghost stories and others long pending.

so, in this context, why do you want me to change my opinion about you. please let me keep the same opinion sir.

 

[pannvalan]

Thanks for your kind words. I said 'opinion' in the context of love only.

 

[Maniya]

The story is not bad, but could have been an extended one, notwithstanding it is a 'short story'. Some have been blunt in their criticism of the story, its creator and the heroine.

I feel for the girl.

Perhaps the creator could have given more examples to illustrate how Shakti was better than Visu. Since that has not come about, I think it is just that the heroine has not overcome the love for her lover and hers is a reluctant, forced marriage. So even after marriage, her thoughts are always on Shakti and she has only gone through the motions as a wife, without any real involvement. So whenever, she finds something wrong in Visu, she comforts herself by fantasising that Shakthi would have been different.

Moral: Don't marry your girl against her wishes. Even in that case, marry her only when the past is completely erased.

Idea is good; only not substantiated to feel the impact.