A love story of a brahmin girl

[sumathi ravi]

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View attachment love story.doc


I have edited this thread and attached a pdf version of the same story. - praveen

 

[kunjuppu]

View attachment 116

sorry sumathi,

what language is this story. when i opened the url, it came out like this:

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XõKöòúûn[1]DU
A*å)YïÌììăÑÚšl 1iïJÖ/z,
'½ÒnV²￾ÉK~ϲ„Â)a¼ƒ’m ±Ñðúj0Ù
Hu»T²9bxà<É9X‘
­ÀQ¥òÑ
¤×8ãAÈO1
~ÛëÝqé‚Ã

 

[RVR]

I am also not able to open it. Better convert into a pdf file and upload it.

All the best

 

[C RAVI]

Sri Sumathi ji,

I think you have saved the contents of the story into .docx format.

Please cut and copy the contents of the story form your email into a word document and attach the document to your thread.

I requested you to do this from your end so as to help you contribute and get accustomed to this forum.

Anyways, If it's OK with you I shall do this from my end from the email of the story that you have forwarded me yesterday...

This is a wonderful story and every member I feel should read.

 

[renuka]

dear all,

why dont try clicking the link again.
i could read it

renuka

 

[C RAVI]

Dear all,

Since the story is relevant to the thread - Inter cast marriages, I have posted this story there as an attachment..(Word Document)

 

[renuka]

I feel the girl in the story never got over her first love because she was still in contact with him.
She never gave herself the chance to get over him.
If she had severed all ties and not even been platonic, everything would have been fine.
How long can one hold on to the past?
Memories fade over time.

If a child who has just started to walk is holding a toy and you offer him another new toy, he will leave the old one and take the new toy.
If he decideds to grasp both he might lose his balance.

 

[RVR]

Nobody holds on to the past for ever. It is strange in a story like this only people always keep the past alive.

Particularly a lady still holding the past memories after having two children looks very surprising.

It is just like another movie or serial.

It is not a practical life story.

All the best

 

[Krishnaism]

It is not that easy to come out of your past relationship for 2 reasons, 1 - first love, and second cannot be explained as only a person who has gone through it will know the pain :deadhorse:

 

[renuka]

God has given us the capacity to love and love again.
The human heart itself has 4 chambers, there is room to love more than one.
Pain is only transient, time heals all wounds.
Even the labour pain of delivery is erased from a mind of a woman who had just given birth.
Even the pain of death is erased from ones mind upon death.
What is the pain of losing first love?
So trivial.
Its just so transient and like a butterfly it just Fluttered by.


Almost everyone has had a first love in their life.
Some have even forgotten how their first love looked like.
Every new experience in love will always feel like a first time even though it might be even the 10th time and every time it will feel like real.

remember Freddy Mercury's song I want to break free.
I 've fallen in love..
I've fallen in love for the first time
and this time I know it's for real
God knows,God knows I want to break free.

The best will be to break free from the past, live in the present and face the future when it comes.

 

[kunjuppu]

folks,

when we forcibly part a couple in love, i think, it is akin, to ripping apart two powerful magnets.

though, myself has not been 'in love' due to my background, upbringing, family norms and so many inane reasons and fears, my wife and i, did not put any prohibitions on our children.

i was surprised of the same attitude from my wife. who knows if she had a lost lover? i would never know, not that i would mind. such was our middle class TB norms of last century.

always worrying for நாலு பேரு என்ன சொல்லுவாங்கோ which appeared to dictate our every action to such an extent, that i had to seek refuge two oceans away to find some breathing space.

my children have fallen in love, and out of it. it is a sheer delight to watch a normal person, suddenly sparkle and brighten up even the sun.

along with it comes heart breaks, but that makes the process of being 'in love' all the more sweeter.

in india, i think, as a society, and i mean not us TBs only, but especially our religious minorities, who have so brainwashed, i think, their children, to despise hinduism, that religion/family takes over the process once the young ones decide to get married. it is a sure formula for disaster!!

i am thinking of this TB girl, 30 years ago, who married a gentle muslim, and went on to live in the usa with peace. and a irreligious household.

nobody cares here in the west. that is the west's strength. and some may say its weakness, especially those of us, who do not quite know who they are, come here & superficially accept 'being westernized' and evolve themselves & (sadly) their children to be ABCDs.

this particular story may be a work of fiction. but is not fiction, a figment of reality? barring those few science fiction writers, most of us, do we not narrate what we know, experienced and our imagined 'losses'.

sigh!!

 

[renuka]

I knew of a insurance agent once who converted from Hindusim to Christianity and became a fanatic & very anti Hindu.

I was suprised that his wife who used to be a devout Hindu also converted because of her love for her husband as she put it.

This Insurance agent asked me if I would have done the same if my husband converted.

I replied that changing one's religion is like changing one's father.
I would not stay with a person who has changed his religion.

I guess even love between husband and wife is also subjected to conditions and situations at least for me.

 

[RVR]

Every saint has a past. Every sinner has a future.

None of us can claim to be saints. Nor we willing do sinful acts.

Both the couple had a failed love in the past. The male was able overcome without any problem. The lady also should have overcome the problem over a period of time.

After getting two children, she still holds the old love affair in her minds means she is not loyal to her own children.

Normally a new life starts only after marriage. Both the spouses start loving each other more after marriage. Once they get children, bond becomes more stronger.

This story is just a fiction or may be an odd case. Normally this will not happen.

All the best

 

[C RAVI]

I feel the girl in the story - Kalyani, and the boy - Shaktivel were not in love due to infatuation. It must be a true love with very good understanding and with the mindset to adjust for each other.

Shaktivel stopped eating non-veg. for the sake of a Brahmin girl. Sacrificing something that you like for the sake of your love is not so easy and is not a joke.

This shows that how much the guy was liking her for which the girl would feel happy and contented, generally would emotionaly surrender herself to him whole heartedly.

I feel such a true love would be ever lasting in one's memory till the death. Every incident of our present life with a arranged husband would make her realize as how Shiktivel would have been responded/acted if he would have been my husband.

This Brahmin girl as per the story is a normal girl like every common girl and could not hide herself from her true love towards Shaktivel.

If her husband - Shiva would have been a true Brahmin, remained close to her and would have loved her whole heartedly than I am sure, Kalyani would have never given herself a chance to repent her lost love with Shaktivel.

This so called Brahmin guy was just fulfilling his duty as a husband and as a father with his status. A loving and sensual girl would require close intimacy, love and affection through out her life from her husband.

Kalyani was unfortunate to find such qualities in her husband and the poor gir had to keep crying for her lost love through out her life and could not reveal her pain to anyone.

I certainly feel sorry for Kalyani.

 

[KRS]

I am 62. I have fallen in love, from a distance, when I was sixteen. To a muslim girl who looked like Waheeda Rahman. Of course that was one sided.

I came to America when I was twenty three. I fell in love with a white girl who was kind to me; but then I came to understand the difference between friendship and love.

Then when I told my mother to look for a girl that I could fall in love in an arranged marriage, I met the love of my life by chance.

We married and had a story book married life for almost 28 years with two children.

Then she died.

But then appeared my second love. We are happy and married.

Love has nothing to do with one's culinary or cultural proclivity.

Love has nothing to do with living a lie.

No human produces two children while living in the shadow of non love.

This story is a fake.

Regards,
KRS

 

[hariharan1972]

I have fallen in love, from a distance, when I was sixteen. To a muslim girl who looked like Waheeda Rahman. Of course that was one sided.

ah ! krs sir...isnt our life defined by the "opportunities" we "missed".

i think "your mistake" was the "distance". if she looked like waheeda, i am sure you couldnt have been anything but dev anand..

if only she had seen you, who knows, she might have very well sung :

'aaj phir jeene ki tamanna hai'

'aaj phir marne ka iraada hai'



just my 2 cents of nonsense

 

[renuka]

I dont know why many people say that in an arranged marriage love starts after marriage only.
I remember when i was 28 I was getting kind of fed up with the prospective grooms that were coming to the house.
Either they were boring, smoked and took alcohol or making a fuss of my vegetarian status.

I still remember seeing my husband the first time when he came to my house.
normally when any prospective groom came i would peep at the prospective groom walking in from the top floor of the house first.
i wanted an ariel view to see if he had a full head of hair.

When my husband walked in to the hall he smiled at me and his whole face lit up.
I knew he liked me instantly and i also liked him then and there.
He didnt bother about the fact that i was a vegetarian.
He never asked me to cook non veg for him also after marriage.
(anyhow he has become a vegetarian now, i did not force him but purely his own choice)

i feel even in arranged marriages cupid strikes instantly too and we do not have to wait for love to start after marriage.

 

[C RAVI]

I am 62. I have fallen in love, from a distance, when I was sixteen. To a muslim girl who looked like Waheeda Rahman. Of course that was one sided.

I came to America when I was twenty three. I fell in love with a white girl who was kind to me; but then I came to understand the difference between friendship and love.

Then when I told my mother to look for a girl that I could fall in love in an arranged marriage, I met the love of my life by chance.

We married and had a story book married life for almost 28 years with two children.

Then she died.

But then appeared my second love. We are happy and married.

Love has nothing to do with one's culinary or cultural proclivity.

Love has nothing to do with living a lie.

No human produces two children while living in the shadow of non love.

This story is a fake.

Regards,
KRS

Offcourse, Love is just a feal of a heart, may be without logical reasoning.

Belief and value of Love feelings varies from individiual to individual.

"Palavidha Manidhargal, Palavidha Nirangal"

 

[RVR]

Once a girl or boy is selected and fixed, automatically the mind starts developing love for she or he.

Dreaming for a Waheeda Rahman or Dev Anand is quite natural. If we don't dream, we are all not human beings.

Everybody adjusts to the hair style, dress code and food habits after marriage. After all it is a give and take approach to make the life easy and comfortable.

Once a child is born then both the parents will not think of anything else. Probably all the love is monopolised by the Child. Child has that much power. There is no looking back after wards.

Keeping the old love alive for thirty years even after two children is not at all in good taste and totally unbelievable.

All the best

 

[uksharma3]

Nobody holds on to the past for ever. It is strange in a story like this only people always keep the past alive.

Particularly a lady still holding the past memories after having two children looks very surprising.

It is just like another movie or serial.

It is not a practical life story.

All the best

To me, it looks like this story was written to drive a point - that caste, custom and character does not always go hand in hand.

The story is well written like a cinema script and the climax comes at the end.

It may not be a practical life story under normal circumstances.
However, things do happen in life that are stranger than fiction.

 

[C RAVI]

folks,

when we forcibly part a couple in love, i think, it is akin, to ripping apart two powerful magnets.

though, myself has not been 'in love' due to my background, upbringing, family norms and so many inane reasons and fears, my wife and i, did not put any prohibitions on our children.

i was surprised of the same attitude from my wife. who knows if she had a lost lover? i would never know, not that i would mind. such was our middle class TB norms of last century.

always worrying for நாலு பேரு என்ன சொல்லுவாங்கோ which appeared to dictate our every action to such an extent, that i had to seek refuge two oceans away to find some breathing space.

my children have fallen in love, and out of it. it is a sheer delight to watch a normal person, suddenly sparkle and brighten up even the sun.

along with it comes heart breaks, but that makes the process of being 'in love' all the more sweeter.

in india, i think, as a society, and i mean not us TBs only, but especially our religious minorities, who have so brainwashed, i think, their children, to despise hinduism, that religion/family takes over the process once the young ones decide to get married. it is a sure formula for disaster!!

i am thinking of this TB girl, 30 years ago, who married a gentle muslim, and went on to live in the usa with peace. and a irreligious household.

nobody cares here in the west. that is the west's strength. and some may say its weakness, especially those of us, who do not quite know who they are, come here & superficially accept 'being westernized' and evolve themselves & (sadly) their children to be ABCDs.

this particular story may be a work of fiction. but is not fiction, a figment of reality? barring those few science fiction writers, most of us, do we not narrate what we know, experienced and our imagined 'losses'.

sigh!!

Well said Sri Kunjuppu ji,

I mean to convey the same. Even if the story would have been a work of friction, these things are happening in our life and some unfortunate girls and boys are living some sort of fake life. They get used to the life they are living and would reach to the stage of accepting conditional love as a final resort.

To fulfill family and social obligations, giving girth to children can not symbolize couples having true love and respect for each other.

Since Kalyani could understand her obligations and her responsibilities as a married women in the society, as a wife and as a mother she could continue her life with a fake Brahmin whose non-veg. preferences are beef and pork and who don't believe in Poonal (just imagine how that Brahmin girl from a strict Brahmin family must be feeling awkward about it)

She lived a conditional love life. If her parents can not be blamed for separating true lovers (a first true love of the girl), than we should either blame the girl or her FATE.

 

[Raghy]

Kalyani did not fall deeply in love with sakhti overnight. She had a lot of time to find out her father's opinin about such relationships. If she really wanted to marry Sakhti, she should not asked her father's permission for that; she should have eloped saving her father the dilemma of refusing her wish. Or she should not have brought that subject for her father's consideration at all.

For most middle class and lower middle class persons (not necessarily caste brahmins), society's exalted opinion about them is very important. "listen, I value my children's desire more valuable than caste norms, sasthram and sampradhyams. so, I agreed her to marry the boy of her choice. Since I did that, where does it hurt you? mind your own business!". This is not something we generally hear. Kalyani knew all this very well. She should have planned better.

For the purpose of showing Sakhti in the lime light, picturing Visu (Kalyani's husband) in a bad light is nothing short of cheap tactics. For argument sake, if Visu was an orthodex 'madisanji', would Kalyani have removed the memories of Sakhti unconditionally? Possibly not. She may have found some other fault with Visu anyway. Visu's behaviour as a 'brahmin' is not under scrutiny at all for the subject.

Kalyani's father explained why he could not accept Sakhti as his son-in-law; Kalyani had a chance to make her stand in favour of Sakhti, but she blew it. I don't see any point in nursing that disappointment for 25 years.

If I were the judge, this story may not have won any awards.

 

[Raghy]

Chi. Ravi said:-

'........as a mother she could continue her life with a fake Brahmin whose non-veg. preferences are beef and pork and who don't believe in Poonal (just imagine how that Brahmin girl from a strict Brahmin family must be feeling awkward about it)'

Sri. Ravi,

What is this 'fake brahmin' business? Visu was not involved in any vaidheega brahmin profession; he did not conduct thivasam, amavasya tharpanam or any vaidheega ceremony for others; he did not work as the sastri or gurukkal in any temple; he did not get any benefit claiming he was a brahmin; come to think of it, there is no mention in the story that he married Kalyani claiming he was an orthodex brahmin. How do we know Visu would not say "I was born in that caste, Sir! I had no desire to be called 'Brahmin' at any point in life. That caste name is stuck with me; not due to my fault! thank you!". Visu's behaviour as a 'brahmin' is not important in that story at all.

 

[sumathi ravi]

Dear Mr. Raghy,

As you quoted, to be a Brahmin, you need not be a gurukkal or do devasam etc etc.

If you claim that your are a Brahmin or you are a non-brahmin, follow the rules and regulations of the forefathers and lead your life.

As you said, a responible human being cannot just elope with the lover, not keeping in mind the plight of the family.

We are not foreigners. We are Indians. We have to follow certain rules and regulations formulated in society.

i can say one thing. Wheher brahmin or non brahmin
at any point of time in our life we can never forget our love.
whether we are married, divorced or a widow, but the inner heart lives only with the person whom we loved.

The parents should understand the feelings of their children and leave way for them to live a happy life with the person of their choice.

This is my opinion

 

[kunjuppu]

I am 62. I have fallen in love, from a distance, when I was sixteen. To a muslim girl who looked like Waheeda Rahman. Of course that was one sided.

I came to America when I was twenty three. I fell in love with a white girl who was kind to me; but then I came to understand the difference between friendship and love.

Then when I told my mother to look for a girl that I could fall in love in an arranged marriage, I met the love of my life by chance.

We married and had a story book married life for almost 28 years with two children.

Then she died.

But then appeared my second love. We are happy and married.

Love has nothing to do with one's culinary or cultural proclivity.

Love has nothing to do with living a lie.

No human produces two children while living in the shadow of non love.

This story is a fake.

Regards,
KRS

KRS,

so sorry to hear your loss of a spouse. i have heard that this is the biggest shock and sorrow for any human being.

at the same time, i am gratified, re the redemption and the restoration of life, through your second marriage.

i have to request a clarification, of this sentence 'No human produces two children while living in the shadow of non love.'

i think it depends on the human, don't you. i can relate to what you are saying in the context of a north american middle class value.

i think the overwhelming majority of people in this world, do not think twice, about having more kids. either due to religious beliefs, ignorance or perhaps indifference.

the children produced under the context of your statement, are indeed special and treated as gifts. but how many children are so fortunate?

thank you.